Moving along
by Icantgetenough
Summary: Raphael Barba easily packed up his office, hid from the world but he couldn't hide from Olivia.
1. Coming Home

Authors note I am not going to lie. I haven't watched the episode where Barba left he was my favorite, and I was really hoping that he and Olivia ended up together. I really need her to find a dad of Noah lol. Anyways I really have no idea the time frame when he left, but I am making near the end of May.

Chapter 1: Talking

Olivia Benson looked down at her phone after hearing the familiar "ping" it was 9pm and she had just gotten Noah to bed. It was a Friday night and a little over 2 weeks since she had talked to the name coming up in the text.

Barba - "Can we talk?"

Olivia had 100 things running through her mind, He knew he had family support, and of course all of SVU had his back, but she felt bad she hadn't reached out sooner and was upset he even bother asking.

Olivia – "Of course, you're always welcome, Noah's asleep so don't knock just let me know when you're here.

Not a second later he replied

Barba "Here"

Olivia scrunched her face in confusion looked out the peephole, there he was Raphael Barba waiting who knows how long before sending that text.

Olivia opened the door. There he was in dark jeans and a polo. He was clean-shaven but he looked tired and upset, and she instantly opened the door.

"I wasn't sure you'd let me in." He said, looking down to the ground.

"I thought you said you had to move on," Olivia replied.

"I know what I said, and at the time, I meant it I needed out. I just, I needed time. Now I know I can move on from the job, but not you, not as a friend." Barba said, looking into her eyes.

Olivia just looked at him he was the first person to just come back, other than Cassidy, but that was a different story and a different time. He looked at her again. They stared at each.

"You and your team changed my whole perspective on everything. I just need to talk to you." Barba said,

"Come sit down, do you want something to drink?" Olivia asked

"I had a few scotches to get the will power to come here I think water will be okay." Olivia went and grabbed 2 glasses of water, putting the bottle of wine she had planned on opening away, and then sat back down on the couch with Raphael.

"You had a pretty good performance in the kitchen there what else do you have on your mind?"

He smirked at the retort, but he knew that she knew he had things left unsaid.

"I don't know I just don't know how to feel I have been up all night for days. I got my last paycheck from the city today, and it hit me. Everything is final, and I just don't know what's next.

Olivia looked in Raphael's eyes knowing he was hoping she knew what to say.

"It is going to take time this doesn't happen overnight." Olivia placed her hand on his bicep.

"Like you said , not everything is Black and White. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask?" Olivia stated.

Barba didn't like where his head was going with those statements. If he had no filter, he would have asked right now for her to kiss him. Instead, he said

"I just need to have someone to share my space. Other than my mother your the only one I've talked to other than formalities."

"I'll be here for you, you have to know that. If you need something more, there is no shame in someone seeing a therapist a counselor." Olivia said.

"Please Liv I know you're trying to help, don't paint me out as a victim." Barba cautioned.

"You know I'm not I would tell that to anyone, if you need help get it." She stated.

"Sorry Liv, I know I'm just not in a good state of mind to take advise right now."

"I know."

He couldn't help need to feel her touch and slightly leaned toward her. She took the hint and allowed there legs and arms to touch. They leaned into each other, and he put her head on her shoulder.

"Thanks for being here Liv," Raphael stated.

He was utterly exhausted and quickly fell asleep. She felt terrible for the man who had risked everything, including prison time for doing the right thing, and she had done it herself on multiple occasions. She didn't want to delve into that now, but it was a conversation for another day. Olivia wasn't sure what to do, she slowly leaned away, but wile still asleep he reached out for her. She didn't want to wake him. She leaned back, to let his body relax again before successfully getting up. He was in a contorted position on her couch but figured he needed the sleep and would wake him in about an hour.

Olivia finished up around the apartment, cleaning up dinner careful to be quiet, and picking up toys of Noah's and putting them in a toybox in the living Room. She had the weekend off becoming Lieutenant she only had to work 1 a month and was happy her rotation was last week.

"Raphael, you need to change positions, your not going to feel good in the morning laying like that."

Olivia said as she rubbed his shoulder.

He woke up confused, then realized that Olivia had her hand on his shoulder and had fallen asleep.

'Sorry, I just must have dozed off, I should go."

"Stay, it's late, this is a pull out you can stay as long as you need," Olivia claimed.

He was too tired to say and simply nodded his head. She smiled at him and pulled the cushions off the sofa and pulled it out.

"Let me get you something comfortable to sleep in," Olivia stated.

She went to her bedroom and pulled out basketball shorts and a large NYPD t-shirt and took it to him.

His eyebrows rose at the ensemble. But knowing that it was better than what he was wearing and he had no reason to argue. He stepped into the bathroom, neatly folding up his jeans and polo and pulled the shorts over his hips. They fit snugly but were comfortable. Next was the soft shirt it smelled like Olivia, he breathed in the sent before padding back into the living room where Olivia had already put a sheet on the mattress and was giving him a few pillows.

"You're too kind. Thanks, Liv." He smiled.

He was dreading a flimsy sofa mattress but found it soft memory foam better than the bed at home he pulled a cover over his body and almost instantly relaxed falling about asleep.

Olivia took a deep and breath and watched him sleep for a few minutes before going to bed herself. Olivia couldn't deny that she was heart was racing. She couldn't believe Raphael Barba was in the next room. She thought like everyone else that he too would just leave. Here he was sleeping in the living room, and she sincerely hoped that they could see each other outside of work. She would make room for him someway somehow. Noah had met him multiple times when going over case notes at home. He was so comfortable with him. Then her heart stopped for a moment, what is Noah going to say when he sees Barba on the couch spread out. She shouldn't worry she thought it wasn't like he was in the same bed, but she hadn't had anyone stay over since Tucker, and she wasn't sure how confusing this would be to him. She tried to stop the thoughts rushing for her mind, but they didn't until she was too exhausted to think anymore. The last thought on her mind before drifting off was would he would be there when she woke up.

The next morning Olivia rolled over the sun was high, and she looked at her clock it was 9am, and this was the first time since Noah came home she had slept in this late her heart was pounding he was always up by 8am at the latest and she quickly opened the bedroom door forgetting for moment Raphael Barba had taken over her couch. She heard the conversation and relaxed a little. She felt a bit odd spying on her 6-year-old and Raphael, but she was curious about the conversation.

"So are you going to live here now?"

Raphael laughed, "No, Amigo, your mom is a really good friend and let me spend the night."

"So, you and mommy don't work together anymore?" Noah asked.

"No, we don't work together anymore."

"Does that mean you'll stop coming over?" Noah asked, sadly.

"I hope not."

"Will you still come read me stories. " Noah asked as tears threatened to fall.

"Of course." Raphael said.

"So If you and mommy don't work together anymore, where do you work now?"

"Well I don't work anywhere at the moment, I haven't really decided."

"Mommy says you have to go to school for a long time then after school is done, you have to work even longer."

Raphael laughed. "Well that's true, but you don't always have to stay at one job, you can pick another job, and that's what I am in the process of doing now."

"Okay."

"Can we wake up mommy now, she must be hungry."

"Let her sleep in, I can make you something to eat."

Olivia smiled and then let her presence made known.

"Mommy is awake Noah and yes, she is starving." She laughed, but "He's right, it's nice to let Mommy sleep in."

She got a peek into the living room for the first time. Raphael was still in the basketball shorts and NYPD shirt, but he had fixed the couch back and was continuing to walk over to the fridge.

"Rafi, there is no reason I can cook, I am sure you have a thing to do," Olivia stated.

"Actually I don't and making breakfast is the least I can do," Raphael responded.

"Fine," Olivia stated.

He rooted through the fridge finding eggs and sausage, and Olivia got out a pan he began to cook. Olivia set out 3 plates, and before long, the 3 of them were having a meal. Noah went on about school almost being over, and how Lucy will be over all the time. Olivia and Raphael just listened to the boy and drank down coffee like it was their life force.

Raphael was getting a little antsy although he said he had nothing to do, he wanted to Shower and brush his teeth. He wanted to shave and clean up. He was comfortable around Noah and Olivia fine enough but the basketball shorts and t-shirt made him feel exposed. He was thankful the shorts were longer and kept feeling as they needed to be pulled down.

Breakfast Was done and he went and changed quickly, leaving the laundry neatly on the bathroom sink not knowing what else to do with it. He dressed in clothes from the day before and breathed a sigh of relief. He walked out of the bathroom and wasn't sure what to do or say.

It was approaching 11am, and although he loved Noah, he wished he could talk to Olivia more alone, in all honesty, he wouldn't know what to say.

Raphael emerged out of the bathroom, picked his keys off the kitchen table, and went to say goodbye.

"Thanks again for everything." Raphael said.

"That's what friends are for, please don't be a stranger." Olivia stated.

"I couldn't if I tried."

Raphael Barba returned to his small apartment in Battery Park. He picked it for the view. The river was seen in the large windows of the living room, and he would regularly sit in the oversize windowsill to take it all in. Even though he had considered Olivia and a lot of SVU staff friends, he had never allowed them in. This was his private sanctuary. His mother had been a few times, but even when she was insistent on an excellent home-cooked meal, he would typically go to her house. He knew it was a cop-out. He is fearful of letting people in.

He Knew it was unreasonable, he knew its why he was single, and he knew it was why he needed a career change. When looking back when he first went to law school, it was for himself but also for his mother. He had the passion and still did, but then it was for the law, and now after being an ADA, it was his passion had changed to justice for people who so desperately needed it. He had already reached out for ideas from other colleges. Of course, he had some private sector officer defense attorney positions, but he couldn't do that now. He was doing a search on his laptop looking out of the window, wondering how his life got so complicated.

He knew the answer he didn't want to admit to himself, but he had changed, he still and always would have his mouth. He smirked at the thought, but Olivia Benson had changed him for the better. He had let someone in for the first time in a long time, and it was like she was water to him, and he was always thirsty for her attention. He felt like 5-year old at this point, but all he knew was he needed her friendship and wanted more, but at this point, he couldn't risk anything more. He could deal with the pangs in his heart, he could deal with his thoughts and feeling and locked them away if it meant they could be friends.

As he browsed through the numerous openings, he was surprised by one,

and captivated by it all at once. In his master plan that went out the window years ago, it went from DA to Judge retiring and teaching a class or two. But as he scrolled through, he saw a position. "Criminal Law Professor at NYU"

He knew that they would know him, and know what the papers read, and something like a college may have issues with it, but this is what he was wanting and he was Lawyer damn it he knew how to plead his case. So, here he was applying online, filling out the forms, and hoping for the best. He went through and applied for a few other places nothing as interesting but things he knew he was good at and waited for a response. He hoped putting Jack McCoy as a reference would help.

He Looked around the apartment he had gotten shortly after becoming ADA he could barely afford it, but he couldn't be in the dump of an apartment and be an ADA at the same time. He had saved enough to make it through the next few months, and if he got the Professorship, he would make double than as ADA. The apartment was small but adequate for himself. He kept it clean as he could, but there were books strewn around bookmarked for a later time. The bathroom was decent, but the product was taking up the whole lip of the bath. He liked it here, but he couldn't help think of Olivia apartment as homey. It wasn't his style far from it, but it felt like home. His small apartment felt like a place to live, it was overindulgent to himself, and he loathed it. At the time when he was decorating this was him, he wasn't denying his self-indulgence but back then it had been overly so, and now he wouldn't mind something not so bachelorly.

He had nothing to do, he was a workaholic and always had been. He had his hobbies but barely indulged. He could read one of the 6 books that had a bookmark, or catch up on a TV show. He could binge on Netflix, but what he really wanted to do is go and talk to his friends. Instead of staring at the four walls any longer, he went to the bar. He took the subway to the familiar bar that he and SVU had frequented multiple times before. He sat at the stool when someone came up behind him his heart raced not sure what was occurring but took sighed relief when he found Fin was the one standing behind him.

"Why don't you come to join us?" Fin asked.

He looked over at the table to find Munch

"Oh no, I'm not ruining your date." He said with a smile.

Fin hit him in the arm harder than he meant too, and Barba rubbed it.

"If I knew I would be assaulted; I would have gone to McCafferty's."

Fin looked at him but didn't say anything else as he sat over with the other 2 at the booth.

He was holding a single malt scotch that he had just received and finished it in one go.

"That bad, huh?" Fin asked.

"I don't know, it's just I am so unsure of myself, and I've never felt that way before."

"I understand it's a new concept for you, but you get used to it after a while." Fin stated.

"Don't, don't get to used to it, you know you made the right choice no matter what anyone says." Munch stated.

Fin looked at his old partner and shook his head but the 3 of them stopped talking, Barba ordered another scotch but sipped this time and was happy to in the company of people he knew.

"you know you are always welcome at the precinct, Liv won't mind her favorite ADA being around time to time." Fin stated.

"Shouldn't the honor of favorite go-to Alex?" Munch asked

"Not anymore my friend." Fin stated.

Barba blushed at the comment, the alcohol had gotten to him he hadn't meant to blush and smirk, but it slipped, and now Munch was eyeing him.

"Really you and Liv?" He asked

"God, no, could you imagine that paperwork, no besides she's not interested." He knew he said to much shouldn't have made the comments.

"So you let the paperwork stop you?" Fin asked.

"No, No Liv isn't interested. Barbs said, trying to convince himself more than the other two.

"I usually, don't meddle, but I had never seen her cry when somebody left, not even Elliott and they were partners for 12 years. The moment she found out you were leaving, she ran into her office. She didn't even hide it. I have a feeling that paperwork was her excuse as well, especially after Tucker." Fin stated.

Barba hated the name; his ears rang when he heard it, and it annoyed him to no end. He wanted to believe Fin, but again, getting his hopes up about it would surely break him if it wasn't the case.

Barba couldn't keep his mind on her anymore.

"enough about me, please tell me anything not relating to your work." Barba stated.

Munch and Fin tried to stray away from work, but it was sort of hard not to talk about it. Barba appreciated them trying, but he just wasn't in the mood for friendly conversation. He said the appropriate words when he was paying attention, but he knew he would only be going back home.

After he finished, his 3rd drink, he was feeling pretty good and decided to go back home. He got back on the Subway and made it to Battery Park walking around the area, not willing himself to go back to the apartment all alone. So for the first time in a long time, he just sat and took everything in looking at the Skyline, watching n the people around him, watching as the pigeons and Squirrels looked for food.

He was hoping his outlook would be a little brighter soon, or he Wouldn't be able to afford his apartment much longer. After an hour or so He walked back to the building watching storm clouds rolling wondering if it was a sign of things to come.

AUTHOR NOTE: I get in and out of writing things and I really wanted to write a good Barba Benson Story. I attempted to once but abandoned it not sure where to go with it. With this story I have a semi-clear path, my problem is I always want to account for every second of every day when telling a story and I know have to rein it back. I hope this will be at least 10 chapters we will see where it goes. This isn't going to be a low burn but I definitely will have Olivia giving Barba a lot of talks before the relationship gets serious I hope you all enjoy please review.


	2. Looking to the past and the future

It had been a week since Raphael Barba had seen Olivia Benson she had texted a few times to make sure he was okay. He would reply short answers but other than that he had hidden out in his apartment, reading books and binging on Netflix. He found himself cooking more than getting fast food. He was enjoying the free time more than he thought he would and was actually nervous for an upcoming interview at NYU that was later in the week. He had a few other interviews, but he really didn't know if he would accept an offer until he knew his fate at NYU.

Olivia Benson sat on a stool in the Kitchen poking at french toast she had made for her and Noah. She had so many things on her mind; she didn't really feel like eating. She was worried about Barba. A case was going to trial Monday morning she wasn't testifying, but she was hoping it went smoothly. Stone was good, but she still didn't have faith in him like she did Raphael. She hated she felt that way and hoped her feelings would change but ever since Raphael Barba left her stomach turned in knots about the outcomes of trials. Olivia realized that even when she wasn't trying to think of the man, it went full circle, and she was genuinely missing him.

Noah was going on about the park, and Amanda, and Jessie, who were all coming for a play date. Olivia and Amanda were taking the kids to the park. She already had jeans and a t-shirt on and couldn't help but smile at her little boys' happiness. This was what she always wanted and wasn't sure she was ever going to get it. But sure enough here that little boy is making her mom. Sometimes she honestly forgot that there was a time before Noah. Maybe it was more that she wanted to forget there was a time before Noah. She got out of her head as she heard a knock at the door, opening to see Amanda and Jesse. She didn't realize she it was already 11 am and she quickly threw away the cold french toast and greeted her guests.

"Hey Rollins, and Jessie!" She said.

"Park, Park!" Jessie yelled.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at how excited Jesse was.

Amanda looked like she was worn out and Olivia could understand, it took every bit of her strength to keep up with Noah, even with all of Lucy's help. She had no clue how people who couldn't afford a nanny work and have children. She looked at Noah ready to go, she slipped on her shoes, and the two walked to the park 2 blocks away.

"So we haven't caught up in a while, Work has been a lot." Amanda stated.

"Trust me I know, I hate to say it, but there is nothing to catch up on really, its been mundane outside of work," Olivia claimed.

As Olivia said this, she got a text and checked her phone.

Barba: "Sorry, I haven't been around are you free tonight?"

Olivia bit her lip and blushed at the message, not knowing she had done either as she was about to respond.

"I thought you said mundane Liv?" Amanda laughed but questioned at the same time.

"What are you talking about?" Olivia asked.

"Oh please, that blush, that lip-biting who is he?" Amanda asked as they walked through the entrance and Noah ran to the slides Jesse quickly behind.

"Just a friend," Olivia said.

"Please, you don't blush when a friend sends a text."

"Okay, okay is Barba," Olivia stated

Amanda smiled brightly knowing she had gotten it right.

"I didn't know you two had a thing!" Amanda exclaimed.

"We don't honestly, we don't he showed up a wreck at my house Saturday the first time I had heard from. He was just exhausted stuck inside his own head. He slept over and left Sunday morning."

"So sleeping over is nothing?" Amanda asked.

"He fell asleep on the couch, nothing happened. He was exhausted. Besides we're friends." Olivia stated.

"You know that's usually how it starts, friends, then lovers..." Amanda stated.

"Not in my experience, and no offense not yours lately anyways." Olivia stated.

"What about you and Tucker?" Amanda asked.

"Well, I admit I knew him, but to say were friends is something else entirely."

Olivia stated as she watched Noah and Jessie chase after each other and slide down each of the slides.

"What about you and Brian," Amanda asked, trying again.

Olivia sighed.

"I guess you could say we were friends when we worked together. When we got involved, it was right before Lewis, and afterward, he was a familiar body. I still care about him deeply, but he never wanted, this, a family. He was there for me when I needed him but not emotionally available, and at the time, I was okay with it. To take what I could get but I can't do that with Noah anymore. I haven't had a man over since Tucker left and to be honest I was kidding myself with him. I was just hoping that someone who knew what I went through the day in and day out, could get me but without working through all this, he still didn't get it. He didn't understand why I was so devoted and to work, and although he got along with Noah, I could tell he wasn't particularly excited that Noah would crash our dates time to time." Olivia explained.

Amanda nodded her head.

"I get it Liv, I do what did Barba want anyways?" Amanda asked.

"He wants to meet up tonight. I want too, but I know he's still going through everything, he had something else he was going to tell me, but Noah was asleep, and he was so tired." Olivia stated.

"Well he's unemployed, ask if he can meet up now, I'll take Noah for a while take the kids out to Ice-cream they can watch a movie at my house, and we'll see how it goes," Amanda explained.

Olivia texted back:

Actually, tonight's not the best but if you can meet me in about 20 minutes, Noah's will be with Amanda and Jessie a while.

Barba: See you then.

"I guess you're on babysitting duty," Olivia stated.

Olivia asked Noah if he wanted to go with Aunt Amanda and Jessie for the day, leaving out Raphael was coming over to her place, knowing he would refuse otherwise. Noah didn't seem to care his mom was leaving and was excited to go to Aunt Amanda's for ice-cream and a movie. Olivia handed Amanda a $20 insisting she used it on the kid's ice-cream and walked back to the apartment.

Raphael Barba looked good when he knocked on her door. The dark Circles were practically gone, he wasn't exactly smiling, but there was no grimace on his face either. Olivia welcomed him to the apartment and asked if he wanted coffee.

"There is never a time I would say no to coffee, Liv" She smiled.

"So you were looking pretty rough last I saw you, You look better now whats going on?"

"Well I have a few interviews later this week, and I'll admit I am a bit unsure of myself."

Olivia smiled until his face frowned.

"Oh, you're serious?" Olivia stated

When he nodded his head without answering, she felt terrible.

"I am sorry but since when was Raphael Barba nervous?"

"Since he left his job without a back-up and realized he's not comfortable going back to what he knew before being SVU's ADA." He answered.

"So what is it that you applied to that has you so nervous?" Olivia asked.

"I applied to teach at NYU," Barba explained.

"You'll be an excellent teacher. Honestly, you're going to be able to read them. You'll know when to show empathy and know when to tear them apart. It fits you." Olivia stated.

"I always thought of it as a retirement job." Raphael admitted.

"Uh, you know. Retirement means no job, right?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah I know it's just I was sort of hoping to become judge, but that dream changed I can't imagine doing that now if life depended on it. When I saw the job, it got me excited, but I know they are going to know me. I know the whole city has seen those papers. I just don't know if they'll have me." Raphael admitted.

"Please, you know everyone's on your side. You weren't fired you did nothing wrong. It's a law school of all places. If anything, they are going to be the ones who know how this all works."

"Thanks, for your confidence," Barba exclaimed.

"Your welcome, when's the interview?" Olivia asked.

"Thursday at 10am." He replied.

"You got time, I've never seen you nervous about court cases. You just need to get your confidence back. You'll be fine whatever you wind up doing." Olivia claimed.

Olivia offered him to sit on the couch, she grabbed 2 glasses of water, and they sat side by side like they did a week ago. He wasn't leaning on her like last week, but their legs touched and neither moved away or made mention of the closeness.

"Fin told me he and Much ran into you Sunday night," Olivia stated.

Raphael attempted to keep his face neutral when asking "What did they say?"

"Nothing just that they ran into you and said that you didn't look too well, and they tried to cheer you up. Should they have said something?" Olivia asked.

"No I was still pretty down Sunday, but since then I've done some soul searching, and I've been treating this as a vacation. I have read more in the past week than in the last 10 years. I binged watch enough Netflix they should charge me double. I even cooked a homemade meal 3 days in a row." He laughed.

Olivia smiled, glad he was feeling better about his outlook. She noticed his eyes lit up when she smiled and stared into them longer than she usually did. If he saw he didn't say a word and the moment broke when her cell phone went off.

"Benson" She answered.

"Yeah Fin, no that is fine, do you need me to come in?" Olivia asked.

"Okay, well let me know good work," Olivia stated.

"Got a break in our latest case just letting me know." She told Barba

Raphael just nodded not sure what to say. He had so many things he wanted to talk about but wasn't quite sure where to begin. Olivia wasn't quite sure what to say or what he was expecting. They had been friends of course but outside of work, and what he knew about Lewis and her relationships with Cassidy and Tucker he didn't know much about her personal life.

"Liv, what made you become an SVU detective? Barba asked.

"That's a long story," Olivia stated.

"I've got time," Raphael claimed.

"Well if we're going to bring up the past, a bottle of wine or 2 might be in order." Olivia claimed.

Olivia walked into the kitchen, debating if she should put her heart out there for him. She wasn't sure how much she would change in his view. She had been accepting of her past and therapy had taught her that her life wouldn't be as grand as it currently is now without her past, but it didn't mean it still didn't hurt when she thought about a lot of the things growing up. She pulled out 2 glasses, forgoing the mark she knew the wine should go to in the glass and just filling hers almost full, giving him the same portion and setting the bottle in the middle of the coffee table.

He didn't say anything about the action and picked up the drink. It was a sweet red wine and although not his particular taste, he didn't say anything as she started.

"When I had first started, I just told people I wanted to help victims get the justice they deserve, but the truth was I was trying to get justice for myself and my mother. She was raped, and she had me. She went through a lot and was an alcoholic most of my life. I thought that if I could save one person from the experience, my mom had, or a child that was to have the life I had, it would be worth it. Your turn I know why you went into law, but why did you agree to work SVU?"

"I guess at first I wanted to prove myself they said that the ADAs with SVU never last long, and if they do something happens, they get into deep, I guess like I did. I wanted to prove that with enough evidence that people will be convicted and that the side of the law always wins. I thought that it would be easy to convict rape, especially children, and that, of course, I could change the world. Change the law something. I came to learn that as much as the job frustrated me, it was an absolute high when I knew we had brought a criminal down. It was also the worst depression I'd ever had when I knew the jury let a bad one go free." Raphael took a large drink after his speech.

"You know my first partner Elliott told me I wouldn't last a month," Olivia stated.

"I've heard his name a lot but you never really told me about him," Raphael asked not knowing the emotions he evoked in Olivia.

Olivia finished her glass of wine before starting with the story of Elliott Stabler.

"When I met him, I thought he was an ass, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that he knew the law didn't always win as you say. He was rough around the edges for sure, but he had a passion no one could match. We got really close, too close, really. We should have been separated, but in truth, we were the best partners they had. Elliott had this control over me no one ever had before. I hate to admit, but I would have done anything for him. He would have done the same, but things changed. He had a lot of personal stuff going on. He had 4 kids when he and his wife got divorced. Then they got back together, and baby number 5 came. I took off undercover without telling him, and our relationship just sort of fell apart. He just left one day, and I haven't heard from him since. In some way, after he left, it freed me. It no longer El, and Liv it was just Liv, and it allowed me to become Lieutenant. I swear if he walked through the door this minute, I wouldn't know if I would hug him or punch him. I would most likely end up doing both."

Olivia tried to think of another topic any other topic.

"You know, after knowing you for so long I have no clue where you live," Olivia stated.

"Battery Park, I moved in right after becoming ADA. I've always loved the Hudson River even as a kid, it seemed to soothe me. I looked around my apartment after I left here and I realized it's not home. It's a place where I lay my head down at night but now even for me it's just too bachelor pad-esque." He explained.

"I can't imagine you have clothes strewn around the place, take out boxes everywhere and the place smelling like rotting pizza." Olivia commented.

"I don't mean it like that I mean, look at your apartment. You have the fridge with all of Noah's drawings. You have a pull-out couch. You have all these beautiful pictures with Noah, and your friends and I have a stiff leather couch and a print of a Monet I bought at the Met because it made me feel superior. Now I just feel like an ass." He replied and took another drink.

"Your not an ass, it sounds like you want to settle down. I take it there is no one in the picture." Olivia asked.

Raphael Barba didn't like the dangerous territory they were getting into. So he finished his wine.

"There hasn't been anyone in the picture in a long time." He answered.

Olivia looked bemused.

"Seriously whats a long time 6 months?" Olivia asked.

"No more like 5 years," Barba stated.

"Oh, I'm sorry it's just your good looking, your outgoing, you have a lot going for you Raphael, and it's just hard to believe you haven't been in a relationship that long," Olivia stated.

"Well when you work, SVU people tend to slink away and when you work 50 hours plus a week that doesn't leave much room for a relationship. Right as I was going to SVU I was in a relationship, and it was good, but it was fun, I was being used for my money, and it was more of fling. Shortly after the appointment, I realized that I just couldn't be that person anymore. Then you know how these cases are, and I know I wouldn't be any good at attempting a relationship on top of them. I am not saying I didn't flirt, but that's about it. I have no idea how you kept up with Cassidy or Tucker." He stated.

"I didn't Cassidy I thought was different, we knew a lot about each other going in, but in the end, the emotion just wasn't there it was something familiar, and I needed him at the time especially after Lewis. We were at different points in our lives. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom, and when I thought I was pregnant, I thought about how wonderful it would be for Brian and I to be a mom and dad to a wonderful little boy. When I admitted the pregnancy scare, he was so happy that I wasn't, and that's when I realized I cared about him, but I couldn't be with him. And Tucker God I don't even know what Tucker was a rebound, I guess. He was kind to me beyond good to me, but I had Noah, and he just wasn't connecting and didn't seem too interested in being his dad and I just I can't do that Noah he has to come first, and I couldn't handle going out night after night without him. I don't want him to think I'm not going to be there for him.

She shook her head and put down her wine glass and took a deep breath.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you, but you know you can tell me anything Liv, anything at all. It's okay that Noah comes; first, he should. You waited so long for him, and when you find someone, they'll realize your a package deal. I can't help but think they're both idiots, I don't know how anyone could pass on you."

"Liv I'm sorry I didn't mean to drudge up anything you didn't want to talk about. Raphael stated.

"No, it's okay it's taken a long time for me to feel comfortable talking about it and I should have told you sooner, there was never the right time." Olivia stated.

"There never is." Barba states as he thought about how many things he held from not sure how she would judge him.

"Hey I know, I just bought some movies this week. I have Black Panther, and it's still too intense for Noah, want to watch it?"

"Yeah, sure." Raphael agreed.

The movie started, and Oliva began feeling cold. She was always in a Blazer at work not only because it was professional, but most of the time she was cold. She grabbed a throw off the back of the couch and wrapped herself in it, she leaned towards Raphael for his warmth.

"You're really that cold Liv?" Raphael asked.

"If I'm not up to doing something I freeze," Olivia mentioned.

She put the back of her hand on his to show how cold she really was. When her flesh hit him though it was replaced with a heat that both of them could feel. Raphael opened his arm up allowing Olivia to lean into him, and she gladly accepted his body heat.

"How are you so warm?" She asked.

Raphael wasn't sure what to say, so he attempted to focus on the movie but his attention as the fact that Olivia Benson was in his arms even if she just was stealing his body heat. She stayed there the rest o the movie and right as it ended Amanda knocked on the door.

Noah came into the house. He looked exhausted but happy. Jesse was out in Amanda's arms. When Noah saw Raphael on the couch he ran as fast he could immediately taking the space that Oliva once occupied and hugging him tightly.

Raphael couldn't help but laugh.

"I missed you." He stated.

Raphael couldn't help but have a pang of guilt for not seeing Barba sooner than this.

Amanda looked on at the interaction, not knowing how interested Noah was to with the former ADA. Olivia was a bit surprised herself and was even more in awe when Raphael seems to give a look of happiness. Whenever Noah interacted with Tucker, he always seemed so unsure, but Raphael Barba listened intently about his day. Aunt Amanda and Jessie." When Noah finally paused for a breath, he just smiled and said.

"It sounds like you had a good time."

"Counselor." Amanda finally greeted.

"Not anymore call me Raphael or Barba." He corrected.

"Right, yeah Raphael is going to take a bit of getting used to."

Noah interrupted the pleasantries tapping on Raphael's side to get his attention.

"Are you going to stay the night again like last Saturday?"

Raphael cringed and blushed at the words that came out of the boy's mouth not knowing how to react with Amanda around. Olivia laughed at the look on his face.

"Raphael has things he needs to do this weekend, he can't stay every weekend Noah," Olivia stated.

Amanda couldn't help but laugh, Raphael was still red.

"Calm down Barba, she said you stole her couch last weekend," Amanda stated.

"He didn't steal it, Aunt Amanda, he only slept on it," Noah said, confused.

All the adults laughed.

"Well I should get going, Jesse is exhausted," Amanda stated.

"Okay, we'll see you soon enjoy the rest of your weekend," Olivia stated.

"So Barba I'll be seeing you around?" Amanda couldn't help but ask.

"I hope so." He responded.

"Bye Barba, Bye Liv, Bye, Noah," Amanda stated as she walked into the hallway leaving the 3 of them alone.

"I'm sorry if that's going to be the gossip mill at work come Monday," Barba said.

"I'm not too worried about it," Olivia stated.

"Do you want to stay for dinner," Olivia asked.

"I'd love too," Barba replied.

Noah looked excited. "Please please, if you can stay for dinner why can't we have a sleepover."

He looked as though he was ready to cry.

"If your mommy says it is okay, but if it's not okay, I promise to see you soon," Raphael stated.

Olivia couldn't deny that Noah had her wrapped around his finger and she couldn't think a single excuse to deny Raphael Barba a spot on her couch, and she definitely loved having an excuse of having him around.

"Fine, Noah Benson! But you can't stay up late, and when he needs to leave there will be no arguments." Olivia said, sternly.

"Okay, mommy!"

Olivia wasn't sure what to do to fill the time, but Noah did.

"Can we play I have legos, and blocks and cars!" Noah said excitingly.

Olivia was happy that Raphael hurriedly went into his room.

"You coming, mom?" Noah yelled.

"Yeah, baby, I'm coming," Olivia stated.

Olivia couldn't help but be immersed in playing with Noah, and Raphael like it was the most natural thing on earth. They had been playing with about every toy Noah had in his toy box. Olivia didn't realize how late it had been until she looked at the clock it was pushing 6 pm.

"Noah, baby its time for dinner. Let us get this cleaned up, and we can order pizza." Olivia said.

"PIZZA, mom I'm so hungry!" Noah responded.

Noah picked up around his room, Raphael, and Olivia did the same and placed the pizza order.

Noah grabbed his tablet and began playing a game. Raphael sat on a stool in the kitchen.

"How do you do this Liv? That boy is boundless energy, and you here you are ordering pizza you look wonderful, and I'm pretty sure if that I could fall asleep on this stool if my stomach weren't looking forward to pizza." Raphael admitted.

"He's a handful, and I have a lot of help. Lucy has been wonderful, she has put her life on hold going to class part-time. She is graduates next year and I know Noah will be 7, but I would be fine if she were here watching him when he was 17. He might need to watch more by then. I hope to be retired by then," she chuckled.

"Olivia Benson retire, I am quite sure they should just name the station after you," Raphael stated.

"I love helping the victims, but I feel bad enough leaving him, I have 4 more years before I can retire he'll be 10, and I'll be 55." When did that happen? I swear you walked into my life yesterday Noah wasn't even in existence when we met, but my whole life is that little boy."

"I know Liv. It's not wrong to work and be a mom, and it's not crazy to retire the day your eligible to be with him either." He put his hand over hers to reassure her. She smiled up at him.

The pizza came and Noah ate more than Olivia, and Raphael could even dare to touch. Noah once again talked excitedly now that his last day of school which was Wednesday. Though Olivia was glad that he was excited about his break, she felt terrible because he would be at home while she was away, and the summer was when most cases came in. She let Noah talk, and finally, he calmed down after a while picking up the final slice.

Olivia picked up the pizza box and put it in the trash she wiped down the table, Noah scampered off to the TV. He turned the TV on, and Olivia yelled out.

"Half an hour then you have to take a bath, Noah!" Olivia warned.

"Oh, mom, do I have too?" Noah

"Oh, Noah, yes, you do." Olivia wined back.

"Fine!" Noah pouted.

Raphael wasn't sure he should say anything, but when Olivia went to the bathroom, Raphael talked to the little boy.

"Noah, mommy, is trying really hard to take care of you so when she asks you to do something you don't want to do she's not mean, she's just trying to help," Raphael said.

"You sound like Lucy, I know it is just, do I have to take a bath all the time." Noah asked.

"Its good to be clean." He responded.

"I guess." Noah said and continued watching cartoons.

Before Raphael knew it, Noah was in the bathtub splashing loudly, he could hear Olivia prompting him to wash his hair and to make sure all the bubbles got off his limbs. Noah came back in pajamas. Oliva looked uncomfortable as her pants were soaked, but she whisked him back to his room.

"Can Raphael tuck me in?" Noah asked.

Raphael heard him but didn't want to tread on Olivia's parenting.

"Of course you'll have to ask him through" Oliva told the boy.

Raphael was already getting up to tuck him in. It was 8:30 pm, and he was ready to go to sleep.

He took Noah goodnight tucked him as Noah kept saying, "tighter, tighter." Raphael complied and without a second thought, kissed his forehead and said, "goodnight."

Olivia witnessed the event and bit her lip. She now knew no matter what happened Raphael Barba would be twined with her as long as Noah still cared for him. Olivia closed Noah's door, and Raphael retreated to her couch and put his head back.

"Seriously Liv, I am worn out by him." Raphael laughed.

"If you want to head out, I'll tell Noah you left early," Olivia stated.

"No, I don't Want you to lie. Besides like I said its homey here I'm comfortable here and if I am not mistaken its pouring down the rain." Barba said as he looked out the window.

"K, well let me find you something to wear, and get the couch fixed up and we'll figure out what to do from there."

Olivia changed and grabbed his basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Raphael accepted and then asked.

"Hey Liv, do you have any pants instead? If not, it's no big deal." He quickly stated.

"Uh yeah, of course." Olivia walked back into the room, finding some flannel pajama pants that were baggy on her and handed them to him.

He went to the bathroom to change. He hadn't worn shorts for a long time a large scar running down the back of his thigh. He knew Olivia wouldn't say anything, but he was still self-conscience. He would rather not have the conversation. He put on the pants and shirt and walked back out. Olivia had the bed made but jumped on and patted the other side. Raphael joined sitting cross-legged like she was and they turned on the TV. There were old reruns that they both settled on. They sat there comfortably, Raphael fell asleep at an odd angle. Olivia turned the TV off and went to her room, checking email and thinking about the man for the 2nd week in a row laying on her couch.


	3. People are talking

Raphael Barba came back to his apartment, Sunday afternoon and immediately felt lonely. Without work or Olivia and Noah, life just was boring. He grabbed a bottle of scotch, not sure when day drinking became okay for him, but he grabbed a glass and began to think. He took off his shoes and sat in the window once again worrying about his interviews. He thought about Olivia and Noah and the fact he was falling in love with the idea of seeing them every day.

The next few days flew by for everyone Noah had his last day of School come and go, and now Lucy was at the apartment all the time. Olivia caught a rough case missing tucking Noah in all but one night that week. Raphael Barba had done two interviews, and one instantly offered a job he asked if he could think about it which they agreed, but today Thursday was his interview with NYU. He had put on his best suit and shaved. He brushed his teeth longer than needed and put on his good luck tie. He said a prayer hoping now was a time as any to renew his faith if it meant he would get this job. He took his car out of its spot and drove to Campus, leaving in plenty of time to get there.

When he arrived, he took a deep breath in stood as tall as he could and walked into the building like he found the room took a deep breath and walked in. He was in an overly large classroom.

"You're right on time, Mr. Barba." The man on the right stated.

There was a group of Three men and one woman sitting at a long table meant to hold ten people at least with various paperwork spread all over. The man at the end he recognized, but he couldn't put a name to the face. They each introduced their self, but if someone would have asked what their name was, he would have already forgotten. They asked question after question and Barba did his best to answer honestly and purposely. At the end of the interview, he let out a deep breath.

"I want you to know Mr. Barba you're the last candidate we interviewed, we have a lot to go over, but we will let you know." The man on the end concluded.

Raphael nodded his head and walked out of the room. His anxiety hit him only after walking out, and he leaned his back against the wall and took a breath before walking back towards his car. On his way back, he decided to walk around the park to clear his head. He took his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves. He found a hot dog stand and decided to grab one and sit on the bench. As he finished up the hotdog, the man he had recognized at his interview sat down beside him.

"Listen, I want you to know you did great in there. Jack McCoy spoke highly of you and although we have a people with more experience you unofficially have the job." He stated.

"I'm sorry what?" Barba said as he stared at the man.

"You heard me Raphael you have the job, you'll get an official letter sometime next week." Barba ignored what he said.

"Did you follow me?" Raphael asked.

"No, I happen to come over here to enjoy lunch, and I thought you would be happy to hear the news, but if this isn't what you want..." the man concluded.

"NO! It's exactly what I want." Raphael stated.

"Good, good, like I said you will receive a formal letter in the mail most likely Monday and we will negotiate then." The man left quickly and Raphael stared off with a smile; he couldn't help but think only one other thing would make him happier.

He quickly texted Liv.

Barba: I have great news are you free tonight, for dinner?

Olivia: I'm not sure, and I haven't seen Noah all week.

Barba: Bring him with you, I can pick you up at 7?

Olivia: I'll try, I'll let you know.

Barba didn't let her words get him down. He smiled as he walked back to his car and drove back to his apartment. He went on his laptop going through NYU staff to figure out the man's name who he recognized and gave the good news. After a few minutes of searching, it was James Lindy. He couldn't place the name but did a Google search and found various articles, and found he once worked for the DA's office before working at NYU and recently became chair of the department. Barba knew that in every job it helped to know people, but he couldn't help but think Jack Mcoy made this all happen. Raphael began researching everything he could about NYU Law.

Barba looked at his clock it was 5:30 pm, he sent a text

Barba: So, dinner?

Olivia: Yeah, I'm almost wrapped up. Meet at my place?

Barba: Of course.

Raphael, for the second time, scrubbed his teeth longer than he had too, made sure to refresh his aftershave and grabbed his jacket before heading in the direction of her apartment. He got there sooner than he thought it was only 6:20 pm when he knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" He heard Lucy ask.

"It's Barba." He replied.

Lucy answered the door and looked the man over, Noah had told her about the man coming over lately, and she was happy. She hadn't asked Olivia about the situation, but she understood why Olivia was allowing him to come around. Noah adored him, and he wasn't too bad to stare at.

"Mommy didn't say you were coming!" Noah squealed and ran to greet Raphael with a hug. Raphael knelt allowing the boy to wrap his arms around him."

"Well, I asked your mommy to go to dinner." He explained.

"So I won't see mommy tonight?" Noah looked sad.

"Oh, no you'll see mommy you're coming too!" Raphael said.

Noah brightened up and got excited and began telling Raphael that although its really fun now it was summer and Lucy was here all the time playing with him, and taking him places he missed his mom. Raphael felt terrible for the boy and knew Olivia tried so hard to balance her schedule. As soon as the conversation started, it stopped, and Noah ran off to his room.

Lucy laughed

"So Noah has been telling me a lot about you, Mr. Barba. I'm glad you and Liv got together." She stated

"You can call me Raphael but Olivia and I are just friends." He retorted

"Bullshit," Lucy said quickly and covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry, but really, you don't find her attractive."

"Of course I do, it's just that we're friends."

"And you don't want to mess it up." Lucy finished.

Raphael looked at her and shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Listen, Olivia, and even more importantly, for your case, Noah adores you. I haven't talked to Liv much in the way of relationships, but I've seen it in her eyes when you guys would come in together to go over a case. I have heard her talk about you from time to time. She is always smiling when the conversation is about you. I get it you don't want to ruin anything but don't you have to take that chance?"

"Lucy, I like your optimism, maybe it's me because I'm too old, but sometimes the risk is too high."

"What if you knew for a fact Olivia wanted this just as much as you did?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know I couldn't handle not seeing her anymore. I can't risk her or Noah like that." Barba confessed.

"Then that's exactly why she won't say no. She knows you aren't only in it for yourself, but you have feelings for that little boy just as much as you do Liv. Just tell her the worst she can do is say she's not interested." Lucy said.

"I know that's what I'm afraid of." Barba stated.

"Stop it you'll never know until you try. Where are you taking Liv and Noah tonight?"

"Rubirosa." He replied.

"Perfect! I know maybe professing your love to her in front of Noah isn't ideal but show her you're interested." Lucy stated.

Raphael blushed again, "You know your not the first person to say this to me." He stated.

"Because everyone else can see you're just fooling yourselves," Lucy commented.

With that a jingle of the keys indicated that Olivia was about to walk through the door. She looked surprised to see Raphael already there, but Noah came running from nowhere and hugged Olivia.

"Mommy, we're going to dinner with Raphael!"

"I know sweet boy!" Olivia claimed.

"I thought I'd have a minute or 2 to get ready!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Sorry, I got a little enthusiastic, but you look great Liv but take your time." Raphael stated.

Lucy looked knowingly at the couple and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Liv I need to talk to you about next week." Lucy interrupted.

Olivia took the hint she wanted to talk somewhere private and took her back to the bedroom and shut the door.

"How did you get so lucky Liv, I could stare at him all day," Lucy exclaimed.

"He's twice your age, Lucy!" Olivia stated.

"He's a good looking man Liv, and you can't deny that."

"I never said he wasn't, he I thought we were talking about next week."

"We are, let himHim take you out next weekend. I am free to spend the night," Lucy stated.

"I'm sorry your confused Barba, and I aren't dating."

"Raphael said as much. Why aren't you?" Lucy asked.

"We're friends!" Olivia stated again.

"Yeah, I noticed that's the going theme!" Lucy replied.

"Lucy, did you talk to him?!" Olivia asked.

"Well yeah I was surprised, and when he said dinner I assumed, and he quickly corrected me. He also told me I wasn't the first to point it out. He wants it Liv and I know you do too. I hear how you talk about him. How Noah adores the man. He knows you know just at least give it a chance."

"You're a hopeless romantic Lucy, just because we want it to happen doesn't mean it will."

"Well, I'll let you get ready, goodnight I'll be here in the morning," Lucy stated.

She walked out the door and told Raphael "See you next weekend." saying loud enough Olivia would hear her in her bedroom. She quickly opened the bedroom door to retort, but Lucy had already walked out.

Olivia shook her head and freshened up, walking into her bathroom and thinking about how even Lucy had seen the apparent attraction. People were wrong all the time, though. She changed shoes and decided the outfit was fine and came back out a few minutes later.

"Come on, mom, I'm hungry!" Noah persisted.

"I'm coming; I'm convinced you're always hungry," Olivia stated.

"So what's the occasion?" Olivia asked.

"Well, I'll have you know I unofficially have the NYU position! Barba said excitingly.

"Oh my God, that's wonderful!" Olivia exclaimed and closed the gab and hugged him tightly

"I'm so excited for you! Wait didn't you interview this morning." Oliva asked.

"Yeah, apparently the chairman knows Jack McCoy and said I got it, but the official paperwork won't come until Monday," Raphael said.

"Well, then where we off to?" Oliva asked

"Rubirosa" Raphael replied

"Okay, it's nice day we can walk," Olivia stated.

Raphael Barba agreed, and Noah insisted on grabbing both their hands while walking down the sidewalk towards the restaurant. When they entered Noah insisted on sitting with Raphael, then with Olivia and back to Raphael. They talked about Noah's summer just beginning. They spoke about the spike in crime that was inevitable as the days grew longer. They spoke of Raphael's new job and the fact that he would be teaching. The dinner-only had a minor issue when Noah got into an argument when Olivia denied him the ability to order a whole pizza.

By the time dinner was over it was Noah's bedtime and you could tell he was tired Olivia agreed the boy could go without a bath as long as he washed his face and brushed his teeth. Noah begged Barba to tuck him in which he accepted and pushed the covers tight around him, kissed his forehead, and said, "goodnight."

Olivia sat on the couch; she too looked exhausted.

"I know you're tired Liv, I'll just get going." Barba explained.

"Hey, thanks for tonight letting us share in your excitement," Olvia stated.

"Couldn't think of anyone else that would be happier for me," Barba stated.

"Hey, do you want to hang out Saturday?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah whatever you and Noah want to do' Raphael stated.

"Actually I was hoping it just be you and me… you know to talk." Olivia stated.

Raphael smiled "Of course Liv, you and me what time?" He asked.

"I'll let you know," Olivia stated.

"Ok, goodnight Liv." Raphael said.

"Goodnight." Olivia stated.

The door closed and Olivia sighed. 'What on earth am I thinking.' she mused. She walked towards her bedroom just wanting sleep to consume her.

Friday came with a start Lucy was there, and Olivia walked out the door. She walked into the department and straight to her desk. She was going through her email and looking at the growing pile of paperwork. Detective reviews were due at the end of the month, and she was tired by just looking at the stack. As much as she worked, it seemed like the paperwork was constant, and she focused more and more of her time thinking about tomorrow. She hadn't planned anything. She knew a lot about Raphael Barba through the years, but the only thing about food she knew was his love for coffee, and the Tai take out that is across from his office. They had just did Italian, so that was out. She thought long and hard on how to avoid asking Carisi because she knew they were close. Barba took him under his wing, and even though Carisi bugged the hell out of him, he loved it because he challenged Barba in a way most defense attorneys wouldn't even try so before she could talk herself out of it she opened her door.

"Carisi can you come into my office please," Olivia asked.

"Sure.." Carisi was confused but didn't say anything.

He looked a little nervous, and Olivia laughed

"Relax I should be the one nervous, this isn't work-related I have a personal question," Olivia stated

This mad Carisi more concerned but he waited.

"Where is Barba's favorite place to eat?" Olivia bit her lip, knowing how stupid it sounded.

"I am sorry did you just ask me where Raphael Barba's favorite place to eat is?" Carisi asked

Olivia shook her head "You know what never mind."

"No Liv, it's just if I may. It's about time!" Carisi stated

"Oh, really you too!" Olivia asked.

"Listen we've All seen the looks, he is a good man, he loves Noah, he loves you. He may not be in love with you, but he loves you. To answer your question, it's Victor's Cafe'" Carisi said.

Friday ended and Olivia signed her signature for what had to be the 40th time of the day, looking at her name, she sighed for a second. She walked out and said, goodnight quickly leaving to see her boy. When Olivia arrived at the apartment. Lucy was reading a book with Noah. She felt relief as soon as she got in the doorway. She loved Noah dearly, but she did miss the times when she could crash after a week of work and sleep in as late as possible. Noah came running, and she picked the little boy up, he was heavy, but she still had it kissed his cheek and set him down.

"So I will see you tomorrow, right?" Lucy asked.

"Yes, Lucy." Olivia stated

"Alright Liv, Bye Noah, have a good night." She slipped out the door.


	4. Going out

Saturday came and Lucy knocked on Olivia's door at 4 pm.

"Now remember I'm doing this because even though you're my boss, you're my friend. I don't want you to even think of paying me. Lucy said as she walked into see Noah was running around, playing with a toy car.

"Lucy of course I'll pay you." Olivia stated.

"Nope, I'm volunteering."

"The sofa bed is my spot tonight. I have things to keep occupied after this little boy goes to sleep. "

"You ready for a sleepover Noah, we're going to bake cookies and play games and eat ice cream and watch movies. And order pizza!" Lucy said excitingly.

"YEAH!" Noah screamed.

"Well, okay, then." Olivia stated.

"What time is he going to be here?" Lucy asked.

"In about an hour I should get ready." Olivia stated.

"What are you wearing?" Lucy, I asked.

"I haven't thought that far ahead.

"He'll appreciate whatever you wear but mind if I take a look." Lucy asked

"Fine, Olivia stated."

Lucy looked past her suits for work and back to the dresses and pulled a Red Lace dress from the back. It has a sweetheart neckline and short sleeves it was fitting but flared right that knee.

"This is beautiful, Liv" Lucy squealed.

"Yeah, and that was bought four years ago when I was about 15lbs lighter," Olivia stated.

"Does it fit?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know," Olivia stated.

She bit her lip hesitant to put on the dress, but quickly slipped in her bathroom and tried it on.

Her breast didn't spill out, but they felt tight against the line, her hips fit well, and she was surprised that she could still get into it. She found a matching lipstick and pulled her hair back. She couldn't; remember the last time she had gotten dressed up like this. She sprayed some perfume, grabbed a clutch taking the bare necessities. She looked in the mirror one last time and didn't realize how late it was. She heard Barba at the door. She walked out; Lucy whistled at her. Olivia laughed and answered the door.

Barba stood a the door he had his phone in his hand, looking at a message and when he looked up, he dropped it. "Wow, Liv you look, wow."

Lucy and Olivia both giggled, and he blushed while picking up his phone.

Noah came running over to Barba and hugged him.

"Mommy said that you and she were going to go by yourselves, but Lucy is staying to play games with me, and we're having a sleepover so you and mommy can have pizza and play games too," Noah stated.

Lucy laughed out so loud Barba, and Olivia looked extremely uncomfortable.

Lucy didn't say anything and Noah went back over to finish watching Paw Patrol.

"Now Lucy if something comes up anything even if it's with some friends let me know; I can be home anytime."

"Wait, I have something for you before you go." Lucy stopped and put her finger up for a minute; Lucy went through her duffle bag.

"give me your clutch," she said.

Olivia thought it odd but complied, and didn't quite see the three objects that Lucy dropped in.

"Just because of you can't get pregnant doesn't mean you can't get a disease." Lucy stated.

Olivia blushed

"Shouldn't this be the other way around I work SVU," Olivia stated.

"I know, but it seems no one practices what they preach, or takes their own advice so there you go."

"Thanks, mom." Olivia stated.

Barba just looked bemused, not sure what was taking place, and hanging back in the kitchen area.

"What was that about." He asked

Olivia didn't say a word.

"Come on, let's go before we both get a lecture," Olivia stated.

"So Miss Benson, where are you taking me," Barba asked.

"Well, actually a place you know quite well, Mr. Barba." She smirked.

The cafe was too far to walk so they got into her car and drove and as they went towards the street and she found a place to park."

"How did you know?" Raphael asked.

"We share a lot of friends Raphael," Olivia stated not giving up who spilled the information.

The dinner was excellent, but Olivia and Raphael could both feel the tension.

"You wanted to talk Liv?" Barba asked.

"Yeah uh, I did it just." She kept fumbling over her words, and Barba looked at her.

"Apparently we have a convinced everyone who has ever seen us together that we are together," Olivia stated.

Barba swallowed hard no knowing what she wanted him to say.

Olivia quickly followed up," Look; maybe if other people see it, perhaps we should start seeing it too?" She questioned.

Raphael Barba grabbed her hands across the table and breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I can do that Liv." Barba stated.

She smiled widely "Me too."

Food came out quick, and Olivia couldn't believe how good everything tasted.

"Raphael! How did you hold out on me this long?" Olivia asked as she took another bite.

"I'm sorry Liv, I agree this should have happened a lot sooner." Raphael laughed as he finished his meal.

The meal ended, and they walked back on the street, Raphael grabbed her hand, and she allowed herself to feel the sparks and not ignore them or pull back as she usually would and just holding his hand for the moment seemed like too much and not enough all at the same time. She leaned him as they walked.

Raphael Barba knew in that instant he could get used to the way she leaned up against him. They walked back to the car. It was only six, but Raphael had no idea when Lucy had to leave.

"So when is it you need to be back to Noah," Raphael asked as they got back into the car.

Olivia didn't want to admit that they had until tomorrow afternoon, so she just said "We have plenty of time."

"Okay so you invited me, is there anything else on the agenda?'

"I was hoping maybe to see your place," Olivia asked.

"Well, then I'll drive it's easier that way," Raphael stated.

They switched seats and Raphael took her car to his normal spot.

"They took the elevator up to his apartment, and he opened the door.

"Wow, it's beautiful," Olivia stated.

She looked around the room, and although it was nothing like her space, it made her feel at ease. It felt very modern, and something she would see in a listing setup.

She situated herself on the Windowsill staring out at the river.

"It's mesmerizing, isn't it?" Raphael asked

"It is," Olivia stated.

Olivia wished she could put her knees up and really relax against the wall but with the the dress she was in there was no way she could do so.

Raphael watched her squirm as she was trying to get comfortable but couldn't. He saw her playing with the hem of her dress, and then it clicked. He wordlessly got up and walked to his bedroom, he grabbed a throw out of the closet and gave it to her. Olivia smiled brightly and took I pulling it up over herself and finally getting comfortable enjoying the view. Raphael joined her, leaning against the opposite of the window and watching in comfortable silence.

"You want a drink?" Raphael asked.

Olivia nodded her head, and allowed her eyes to look back into the apartment and followed Raphael into the kitchen

It was beautiful a kitchen dark hardwood floors and cabinets were dark cherry wood. The kitchen island and the countertops were black. He had his cookware hanging underneath the hood of his stove. The fridge was stainless steel, and the bar stools were black leather. She sat herself on one and Raphael listed what he had to drink as Olivia laughed after about the 14th option.

"Do you have anything other than drinks in your fridge?" She asked.

"I'll have you know there is a steak, a head of lettuce some condiments and some eggs," Barba stated

Olivia made her decision and Barba sat at the stool next to her.

"Liv I have to admit I'm nervous about all this I don't want to lose you or Noah." Raphael admitted.

"Hey, I know you've been my best friend for a long time now." Olivia stated.

Olivia got off the stool, and Raphael followed. He caressed her cheek, and she felt the fire from his touch.

"We can do this." Olivia stated.

"I know," Raphael stated and pulled her into a long embrace.

"So do I need to have an excuse like a movie or something, to sit on your couch and make-out with you," Olivia asked boldly.

Barba was shocked for a second not so much that Olivia just came out with but the word themselves all in one sentence together."

"Not at all Liv." He replied.

They both sat on the couch. The Leather couch was stiff like Barba had once described, but it was still comfortable. They began touching caressing and then kissing. They were both used to being dominated in relationships fighting back and forth for control. Olivia loved the new rush that came with a new relationship and the feeling in the bottom of her belly quickly escalated. She wasn't sure when or how it happened, but Raphael Barba was on top of her. His hands were on either side of her head and his knees on either side of her hips and she froze. She pushed his chest forcefully without saying a word.

"Liv what's wrong?" he asked.

She couldn't help but think of William Lewis, and she wasn't one to cry, but she was so frustrated of the now dead man ruining this moment for her. She was done with crying even though she could feel the unshed tears start to form.

"Liv?" Raphael asked again.

"I'm sorry, I just panicked for a second," Olivia stated.

Raphael nodded.

"You know I should..." Olivia stated and started to get up.

"Just talk to me Liv, please." Raphael begged.

She sighed, knowing that he deserved an explanation and knowing he knew everything about the Lewis case she agreed.

She sat back down, Raphael put the distance between them, but Olivia leaned into him, and he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter.

"That felt, so good but then when I realized what kind of position I panicked, I was trying to think of way out just in case. I've sort of always been like that, but after Lewis, it's tenfold, and I'm sorry." Olivia stated.

"Don't be sorry, Liv. I never even thought about it. I want you to know I would never purposely hurt you." Raphael stated.

"I know that we'll get there; I just need a little time," Olivia stated.

"Olivia, I want you to know you can talk to me. You're allowed to cry. I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you."

With the permission to cry her tears fell, and she felt like an idiot, but Raphael continued to hold her as she attempted to deny her chest to heave. When all her thoughts came rushing to her head.

Raphael told her " I have you." and "it's okay" throughout rubbing her arm lightly. She faced away from him, and he couldn't imagine her looking him in the eye that point because he would absolutely break. He never told her how he cried for hours after she told him about William Lewis. That all he wanted to do was kill the man but knew it wouldn't do any good for either of them. So right now he was doing what he could to hold it together himself.

Olivia calmed herself down, breathing in deep and forcing the thoughts of her mind, focusing on Raphael's assurances, and his hands rubbing her arms up and down and began to relax. When she felt that her face was no longer red, she sat up and faced him.

"I'm so sorry this is not how I wanted the night to go," Olivia stated.

"Hey, like you said we got this," Raphael stated.

She smiled and Touched his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. She wasn't expecting the fire in her belly to return so easily, and she was quickly pushing him down on the couch and in the back of her mind knew it wasn't exactly fair to expect him to be in the position he put her in prior but that thought had been interrupted when his tongue entered her mouth and the fire only burned hotter.

Raphael didn't care Olivia Benson had attacked him on the couch so suddenly, and he was pretty sure if he died this way it would have been enough, but so shortly after the conversation they just had he couldn't let it go much further than this. So he calmed it down, allowing her to bite his lip but not allowing her tongue to enter once again.

"Liv babe, you have to stop," Raphael said out of breath.

She gave him one last kiss and leaned back into him.

Raphael was not comfortable in any way the bulge in his pants refused to fall, and the mere closeness to Olivia was all too much.

" I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back."

Olivia put 2 and 2 together.

"Oh, Raf, I'm sorry," Olivia stated.

"Don't be; I'll be right back." Raphael Babra stated as he scurried into the bedroom, and into his bathroom trying to think of anything other than Olivia Benson in her beautiful red lace dress.


	5. Stay

It was Monday Morning Olivia was looking at all the paperwork from the weekend and dreaded the fact it was her weekend to work. She had gotten used to her weekends with Raphael Barba and the fact that this new relationship just started made her regret she didn't have a regular 9-5 job. Olivia couldn't imagine doing anything else though and quickly got back to work filling out form after form.

Fin knocked on her door in the middle of the afternoon. She wasn't sure why she closed it, to begin with. She allowed him to come in.

"So, who is he?" Fin asked.

"I'm sorry what?" Olivia asked.

"Come on; it's a Monday, you have been relaxed. I saw that smile when you came in, who is he." Fin asked.

Olivia Benson blushed.

"I never knew you to be a gossip Fin," Olivia stated.

"I'm not, can't I just be happy for you." Fin asked.

"Of course, it's not like you won't find out soon enough," Olivia stated.

"It's Barba." Olivia stated.

"I'm just glad you're happy." Fin stated.

"This is really new for us, I mean we just made it official," Olivia stated.

Fin's eyebrows shot up.

"Not the way you're thinking Fin, but it's new please I don't need IAB on my ass questioning every case from the past six years." Olivia stated.

"Of course, Liv I won't say a word, but you know sooner or later." Fin stated.

"I know," Olivia stated.

The rest of the day went well and she saw a message.

Barba: I'm going in to sign paperwork and discuss details at 4 will you be home tonight?

Olivia: Yeah, I'll be home. You can head over as soon as your done, and I know Noah would love to see you.

Barba: I will see you tonight.

Olivia closed her eyes. Thankful that he understood her position and went back onto work, filling out paperwork, watching an interrogation or two and following up with Stone about an upcoming case. By the time she turned off the computer off for the night, it was right after 6. She expected to leave at 5, but a late call left Rollins at the hospital with a victim and Olivia wanted to make sure they had what they needed.

Raphael had entered Olivia's apartment at 5:45 expecting her to be home but when he saw Lucy, there he realized her fate.

"She said she was just finishing up," Lucy stated.

"Raphael!" Noah screamed and barreled towards him hugging him

"Mommy told me she went to your apartment Saturday night," Noah stated.

"Yes, she did." Raphael stated.

"She said that your apartment is really pretty and you can see the river from your window. I made you something," Noah continued.

Barba looked at the boy confused but he took off to the living room and came back with a piece of paper in his hand.

It was a picture and when Noah explained what it was Raphael couldn't believe it.

"It's you, me and mommy." I'm on a swing, and you are pushing me." Noah stated.

"Oh it's wonderful Mijo, I love it." Raphael said.

Noah quickly raced off to go play with something.

"He told me today that he always draws pictures for Liv, but today he wanted to draw one for you," Lucy stated.

"I love him." He said

"I know, and you love Liv too, such a shame she didn't take me up on my offer to stay all night Saturday," Lucy stated.

"Are you always this bold when talking about other peoples romantic lives." Raphael cheeked.

"It depends. Just to let you know when she was with Tucker I absolutely did not. I didn't like him, and Noah wasn't a big fan either." Lucy stated.

"I'll keep that in mind," Raphael stated.

"Well I will be here this weekend anyways, Liv has to work if you're okay with staying I have a date." Lucy stated.

"Well too bad you don't have any kids I'd insist they come to stay the night so you two could get to no one another better," Raphael stated.

"Well, when that happens I'll be sure to take you up on the offer," Lucy stated as she walked out the door.

Olivia had came through the door 20 minutes later with a bag of take out in her hand.

"So tell me all about it!" Olivia stated.

Raphael explained that for this upcoming semester, he would have to take over all the responsibilities of the law professor who recently retired. Which included teaching 2 Criminal Law classes Monday and Wednesdays one class at 9:00am – 10:30a and another 1:00pm – 2:30pm He then had A Wednesday evening class from 5:00pm – 8pm it was an undergraduate class called Intro into law. A way for undecided majors to decide if the law school route is right for them. He also had a Trial advocacy class on Fridays 1pm-2:30. His office hours were Monday Wednesdays 11a-12:30pm. Friday from 8am- 12:30 and 3:00- 5:00pm. He had to use the textbook the old professor had used as well and said he had about 12 different books to go over between now and August 25th When classes started.

"Wow, you have a lot of time off. Well, I know you'll still have to grade, and I know they will expect you to do a lot of extra-circular things, but it sounds nice." Olivia stated.

"I hope I can do this, this is so outside my wheelhouse. I was excited, and I still am I just hope I know what I'm doing." Raphael stated.

"You'll figure it out, why don't you go sit in on some summer classes," Olivia stated.

"Well I sort of have too, I have a professor, not from the law school though Criminal Psychology who has some summer courses, I have orientation I have to do with some other professors, it doesn't start until the end of June, but I am officially on the payroll as of today. Basically because of I have to turn in a rough syllabus by the 2nd week of June." Raphael stated.

"You better get reading," Olivia stated.

"You're right, but not tonight. I want to enjoy my time with you and Noah." Raphael stated.

Olivia smiled and shook her head as she continued eating her Chinese. Noah stayed quiet taking in all the information that Raphael had stated.

"So you're going to be a teacher?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, I am going to teach people how to be a lawyer or whatever they want to do with their law degree," Raphael stated.

"Cool, mommy said that she went to law school when she was growing up."

Raphael did a half grin

"Why didn't you tell me?" Raphael asked.

"I didn't finish, I dropped out after the first year." Olivia said, embarrassingly.

"Why?" Raphael asked.

She looked at Noah, and then said: "discussion for another time."

Raphael seemed to understand and dropped the subject asking Noah about his weekend with Lucy.

Noah told in detail about all the stuff they did, including the fact that Lucy taught Noah how to play Yahtzee and couldn't believe no one had shown him before.

"Raphael, can we have a sleepover?" Noah asked.

"Honey, Raphael can't stay over every time he comes sweetheart. He has things he needs to do." Olivia stated.

"But mom." Noah started.

"You're mom's right Noah, she has to go to work in the morning, and I have a lot of things I need to get done. But I will be here for bedtime and how about I come over this weekend just you and me. As long as your mom is okay with it," Raphael stated.

"Of course I'm okay with it. You have 30 minutes before its bath-time Noah." Olivia stated

"Okay, I'm going to play on my tablet," Noah stated.

Olivia watched as the boy went off to his room.

"Hey, I know you'll have a lot of work to get done. Noah loves you, but you don't need to be here every moment," Olivia stated.

"I know you think that Liv but I want to be here every chance I get," Barba stated.

He walked up and kissed her. The next thing he knew, she had him backed against the wall, and he wasn't complaining. He knew Noah could come out any minute, so he kept himself from letting his hands explore and kept them around her neck. Olivia knew as well that Noah could easily interrupt and slowed her escapades down quickly and turned it into light kisses on his lips.

"After he goes to sleep?" Olivia stated not really giving any details Barba still nodded his head.

"Mommy come help me. I'm stuck!" Noah yelled.

Olivia and Raphael walked into Noah's room, and he was indeed stuck. He somehow had one leg sticking out of his clothes hamper up in the air, and his head in the middle, his arms were to one side, and Olivia couldn't help but laugh.

"How on Earth Noah." Olivia asked

As she began pulling in different directions he would yelp in pain and Olivia was getting slightly worked up.

"Noah, Mommy's so sorry, but you really are stuck," Olivia stated. She knew she could find something to cut the boy out with but didn't want him in their any longer than necessary.

"I have an idea." Raphael stated.

He quickly put a pillow down on the floor and picked up the hamper up, flipping Noah upside down, he plopped out suddenly, and Noah laughed in delight.

"That was fun!" Noah stated.

"Now, what have you learned?" Olivia asked.

"If something is stuck turn it upside down?" Noah asked.

Raphael held back his laugh, knowing that Olivia had begun to freak out for a minute.

"I guess there is that, but no more climbing into your hamper, do you understand?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, mom." Noah stated.

"Okay, its time for your bath."

Olivia got Noah to bed and went to sit on the couch with Raphael.

"So where did we leave off?" Olivia asked.

"Right about here." Raphael answered as he kissed her, and she began sucking on his lip.

Olivia had missed him although she had seen him Saturday the feeling of his lips and hands lingered, and she couldn't get enough. Raphael complied with her demands of allowing her tongue entrance into his mouth, and he couldn't explain the energy he felt. It was different but familiar all at once. She had her hands under his shirt, and he was about to do the same, sweeping his hand back down towards her waist and pushing the material of her blouse away. Finding the new skin packed on the desire of having more of her. She bucked her hips when he slid around the front, touching along the edge of her bra.

He stopped not knowing he would get that kind of reaction. Not that he didn't want that kind of response, but it was a Monday night with Noah asleep in the next room. She voluntary bucked her hips this time, and Raphael let out a groan.

"Liv?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah."

"Should we be doing this?" Raphael asked.

"Probably not." Olivia stated but continued to kiss him.

"If you keep doing this Liv," Raphael stated but stopped when she bucked her hips again.

"What can I say, it's hard to stop this with you," Olivia stated and began kissing Raphael's neck.

"Liv., you're going to make me..." He bucked up forcefully against her and still fully clothed he lost all control he knew for a fact she felt him up against her hips and couldn't hold it anymore.

"God, Liv I am so sorry, she said hurriedly as he got up and made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up.

"I take it as a compliment," Olivia stated.

When Raphael came back out, he was still a sticky mess and honestly couldn't remember the last time something like this happened.

Olivia was at the door with pajama pants and shirt.

"Take a shower, and if you want to stay here, you can." Raphael nodded, took the items, and rinsed himself off.

He came back in the living room his sticky clothes neatly folded.

"I'm sorry Liv." Raphael said once again.

"I told you not to worry about it, it's not like I wasn't in the same situation." Olivia stated, coolly.

"Do you want to stay, I'd really like it if you did, we can just sleep," Olivia stated.

"Are you sure?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Olivia stated.

She went back to her room and changed into comfortable pajamas she went and washed off her face and brushed her teeth.

"Come to bed?" Olivia asked.

Raphael laid down next to her.

They were trying to get comfortable Olivia wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Liv?" Raphael asked

"I like being the big spoon." She replied

Raphael smiled and fell into a peaceful sleep.


	6. Sleepovers

Raphael Barba didn't see Noah or Liv the rest of the week, looking over everything that needed to be done he already felt behind. He figured that he should start with Trial Advocacy. It was an elective class what he felt was a much-needed one. There weren't large papers to write this was a skill that could be taught but there was a knack for it as well. He knew he would have students who could nail it every time and some that couldn't. There could be an argument to made really for most of it, and basically this was just going to be a bunch of students arguing their point to see if it convinces him enough to give them the grade. There were 2 textbooks for this class. One was a case study book, and the other was a regular textbook. It was basic level text but he was sure the students would appreciate it considering the other workload they would have.

Raphael had talked to his mother daily and even made a trip to her home after she came home from work so she could help him. The fact he was also in the education system made her happy and was excited she could help him out. He hadn't told her about Olivia because he wasn't sure how many days it would take for his mom to stop asking questions.

It was now Friday afternoon and he wasn't sure how that many days had passed so quickly. He had texted Olivia a few times and was missing her dearly. He knew he could have gone to see when she was done at work but he knew she needed time with Noah, and wasn't used to someone constantly being around, and he wasn't either. They were both pretty private and although he would tell her everything it felt nice to be able to know you can do everything on your own. He thought for a few minutes and decided to text her

Barba: I know you work this weekend but I promised Noah just me and him this weekend. So sleepover?

Olivia: For Noah, or me?

Barba: can't it be both?

Olivia: I'm telling Lucy not to bother showing up then tomorrow, are you going to be around Sunday too?

Barba: Tell her she has the weekend off.

Olivia: Will do see you tonight I should be home by 6.

Raphael wasn't sure how he got so lucky, and although he was a bit nervous about spending his whole weekend with Noah and Olivia he was happy that Olivia had let him in. He had enough of working on the Trial Advocacy class. He knew that the longest and hardest part was ahead of him. Criminal Law class was what he knew, and he knew it would take longer just because of the text and needed materials but he felt confident in it. Then this undergrad class is what he dreaded the most. He will have undergrads who really want to learn, and kids who are taking "fluff" classes for credit. He knew he could keep it simple and should keep it simple but he really wanted the undergraduates to get just a glimpse into law school. He had 2 more weeks until he was going to sit in with Professor Dorne the Criminal Physiology Professor. He stopped what he was doing and went to his room to pack for a 2-day stay at Olivia's house.

Raphael was digging through his clothes wondering what Olivia would like to see him in. He knew it was stupid. He knew she really wouldn't care and most of the day would be spent with Noah. He grabbed 2 pairs of jeans and found his tennis shoes not remembering the last time he wore them. He grabbed a couple of polo's and a set of pajamas. He almost forgot his boxers as he went through his items once again. He grabbed his toothbrush and cologne. He put a razor and aftershave in a pocket. He took his laptop and one of the textbooks just in case Noah took a nap. He didn't think 6 year-olds took naps but he grabbed it anyway. He looked around for anything he wanted to take with him and occasionally grabbed an item. His bag was full he looked down at black leather overnight bag wondering the last time he used it. Wondering how this made it look. He was happy to be staying for the weekend. He turned off all the lights locked the door and headed off towards her apartment.

Olivia made it home at 5:45, she walked through the door Noah came to greet her and Lucy came to the door.

"So I have the weekend off?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, I think Raphael has it, but I'll be honest I'm nervous. I haven't left Noah with anyone else for more than a few hours." Olivia admitted.

"Well, I will stay until he gets here, and give him my number and tell him what the average day looks like. You can go take a shower, get ready for him. I'll stall him as long as you need." Lucy stated.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Olivia asked.

Lucy laughed and Olivia walked into her bedroom to get ready for Raphael.

There was a knock at 6:05pm Raphael was at the door, overnight bag in hand.

"Hello, , Liv's in the shower. She'll be out soon." Lucy stated.

"I really appreciate you coming to stay the weekend. I get to go on another date." Lucy stated.

"Glad to be of assistance," Raphael stated.

"I told Olivia I would stick around and just let you know his general schedule." Lucy stated.

"He usually wakes up around 8, and we have breakfast, he changes for the day and I try to get him out as often as possible, usually to the park, or even if it's just down the block to pick up groceries for lunch or dinner. Then we usually ready a book or 2. Depending on how much he's worn out he may take a nap in the afternoon but don't let him sleep too long only about an hour or he'll never go to bed. Right now he really is into Big Hero Six and Spiderman so be prepared to be begged to watch it. That is when you can work on whatever it is or get something done. He really likes to draw and color. You'll be able to tell what mood he is in if he wakes up and hyper he's going to be hyper all day. If he wakes up and is sleepy he will be more subdued. Olivia usually handles his medicine, but he does have an emergency inhaler make sure to take it with you. It's in the kitchen cabinet all the way to the left on the first shelf. Now don't be shocked by the ladies in the park that know Noah there is a little mom's group there. They will be glad to talk to you all day if you let them. Don't tell them who you are, they will be all over you, seriously. Let's see, he isn't allergic to anything he does like to sprint away from you but he never goes too far you just have to watch. Other than that he loves you he's a good kid and doesn't get too mad or upset easily. Sometimes especially the weekends Liv works he gets upset she isn't around. If you need anything let me give you my number." Lucy concluded.

Raphael handed the girl his phone as she put her number in.

"I'll be around I have no big plans, except Saturday night but Liv should be home by then anyway. I'm leaving have a good night." Lucy stated.

Raphael looked around the apartment. He had been here and stayed here multiple times now but he still hasn't quite taken it all in. He didn't want to snoop but wanted to know if there was at least milk and cereal for breakfast in the morning. He went through the fridge and found milk and in in the pantry,there was cereal. He had now been in the apartment for 20 minutes. Noah was glued to tablet game and hadn't even acknowledged Raphael's presence which sort of surprised him but he was okay with the fact Noah was used to him coming over.

He set down his over night bag in the living area, and sat next to Noah.

"How are you today Noah." Raphael asked.

"I'm good mommy came home on time and you are going to be with me all weekend! I love Lucy but it's nice to have a boy around to play with." Noah stated.

Raphael laughed.

"Well I hope we'll have a lot of fun this weekend, you and me just like I said." Raphael stated.

Olivia walked out of her bedroom she was wearing skinny jeans and lose dark blue v-neck. She had her hair up in a messy bun, and she was beautiful.

Olivia greeted Raphael with a kiss, something he wasn't expecting her to do in front of Noah, not that it was a deep kiss, but something so domestic as if he was her husband and he had just gotten home from a day at the office.

He smiled at the thought, and hugged her tightly, missing her touch and knowing for now that was the best he would be able to hope for until Noah went to sleep.

Olivia asked if stir fry was okay, Noah asked if he could help. Raphael helped as well helping cut up the vegetables, and Noah was on the stool, putting the vegetables into the pan. She finally added the beef and spices and turned on the heat. Raphael once again imagined this as an everyday occurrence he could easily get used too. He wasn't sure why he was looking ahead to the future so much so when this relationship only just began. Maybe it was the fact he had wanted this relationship for the last 4 years or so, or maybe it's the fact he has gotten a glimpse and is just hungry for more. Raphael sat at the stool watching Olivia use a spatula stirring the mix around time to time and was happy for the little moments like this.

Dinner was served, and Noah got a bath, and Raphael tucked him in and read him a book as Olivia cleaned the kitchen.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey," Raphael replied.

She met him in the hallways, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hard. She pushed her body close to his, and her body when limp making him take most of her weight.

"Hey are you okay?" Raphael asked.

"Court ended today and they let a bad one get away. I know it was him, Stone did a great job but God the defense just I don't know it was a blood bath, and the witness broke." Olivia stated.

"Come here why didn't you say something earlier?" Raphael asked.

"When I come home I try to keep my mind off of it until Noah's asleep." Olivia stated.

"I don't want him to see my upset, I can't explain to him what this all means and I want him happy." Olivia stated.

"Oh Liv, come here," Raphael stated.

She leaned back into him he put his hands through her hair.

"If it was any other Friday I would have some wine, but I'm technically on call, so I can't do that and… " Olivia started.

"Hey it's okay you can vent to me I understand," Raphael stated.

"I know, it's just, I'm not used to it unless I'm with the rest of the team out at some bar somewhere." Olivia stated.

"I'm here anytime," Raphael stated.

"I know thank you," Olivia replied, leaning into him once again.

"Come on what do you want to do tonight?" Raphael asked.

"Hmm, I am severely behind on some TV shows," Olivia stated.

Raphael joined her on the couch, she leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around her, and she turned on the TV. She turned on the DVR.

"Really Liv?" Raphael asked

Olivia blushed as her first recording was "The Bachelor."

"It's too funny! I don't watch it all the time!" Olvia stated.

She went through the recording and decided to turn it to Netflix.

She went through preview after preview still not deciding on what to watch allowing Raphael to pick something out.

He finally decided on a wildlife documentary, hoping she wouldn't go back to The Bachelor.

They watched an hour and a half long portrayal of one year in the lives in Pride of lions.

Raphael could tell that Olivia was tired, and just still a little upset from the trial. She held onto him through the duration of the show and was quick to turn off the TV after it was over.

It was 9:30 but after the week Olivia had she was ready for bed. She had allowed Raphael to share the bed with her the previous weekend, but it was different then. She wasn't sure if she should invite him to bed or not. He was comforting to her, but would he immediately think of sex. She wasn't ready, she hasn't discussed anything of Lewis, of course he had known he was the only one who did but to see the scars in person, it was another thing entirely and now was not the time.

Olivia pulled on his hand, he followed her to the back bedroom. He had of course been here before one other time. His heart was still racing though, it was early for bed, but she did look exhausted.

"Hey let me change, and get ready for bed, and we can do whatever you want to okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah." Olivia smiled.

Raphael went to his bag and got pajamas he went to the bathroom, changed and brushed his teeth. He felt the need for deodorant just in case he got too hot and made sure to swish the mouthwash for a full minute.

He walked back into Olivia's bedroom, she was wearing pants a t-shirt, she wasn't wearing a bra and he could see a nipple poking through and he took a deep breath willing himself to stay calm.

Olivia was reading something and Raphael hurried and turned back grabbing a book of his own.

He laid beside her and cracked open the smallest of the Criminal Law textbooks, and only got a few pages in.

"I'm sorry I just," Olivia stated.

"Just what." Raphael asked.

"I need some time," Olivia stated.

"For what?" Raphael asked.

"The next step, I can't right now, I guess I just need to let you know that I want this, and I so badly want to kiss you right now, and I am trying so hard to focus on this book. I want to kiss you and touch you and have sex with you, but we have to have a conversation or two to be before I'm going to feel comfortable with that." Olivia stated.

"Hey like I said we got this, you take ask long as you need. I can go lay on the couch pull out." Raphael stated.

"No I just need you to know I'll need to stop and not have the expectations for a little while," Olivia stated.

"I can do that, Liv." Raphael assures her.

"Okay, can you hold me?' Olivia asked.

"Of course." Raphael replied.

Raphael and Olivia put their books down. Raphael opened his arms to her, and they laid there in the silence. Raphael had no idea how long they had been like that, but he knew Olivia was still awake. She turned to him and kissed him hard. Wanting to feel something other than hurt she felt for the latest case.

He kissed her back, but it was hurried, and he seemed to know what was on her mind. He allowed her to use him for comfort and allowed her to explore his chest rubbing his sternum, as he rubbed her back. She didn't do it too long and laid back still facing him.

"Thank you." Olivia stated.

"For what?" Raphael asked.

"Being my best friend," Olivia stated.

"Always" Raphael replied.

She laid back turning away from him encouraging him to roll with her and before he knew it she was asleep. He was tired too and drifted away peacefully after that.

Sorry for the long delay I was on vacation which actually gave me ideas for this story... I have larger plotlines in my head, but they are all future... I have the next few chapters already written but may jump in time a bit after that so I can skip along to what I want to write. Just to let you know I was toying with the idea of Lucy dating Dickie Stabler... but I don't want the drama in this story lol... Maybe another time. I love Elliot and Olivia together but R/O to me is even better. Thanks for the reviews and follows.


	7. The Zoo

It was 3:30 am when her phone rang, and she reached for it, Raphael's arm still on her causing her not to be able to reach entirely, she moved his hand and answered the phone, waking Raphael up at the same time.

"Okay...understood… I'll have Rollins and Carisi on it." Olivia stated.

She quickly dialed the number to Amanda who said she would call Carisi and see Olivia in the morning.

"Everything okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah Rollins has it handled, but if we get another call tonight, it's my turn to go out," Olivia stated.

"Okay, try to get some more sleep," Raphael stated.

"Yeah okay." Olivia turned around facing Raphael, he turned as well, and she put her arm around him, falling back asleep.

Morning came without any interruption until Olivia's alarm went off at 7:30 am

Raphael woke to the noise glad they did go to bed early because he was already getting used to sleeping in.

Olivia got up told Raphael she was going to shower and get ready, he took it as his queue to get out the room and give her space. He walked into the kitchen to provide Olivia with something warm to eat before she left. He found some eggs and a skillet and went to work. When she walked out, she found Noah awake and eggs, toast, and orange juice waiting for her.

"Well if I knew the weekends included a hot meal I would have had you start staying years ago," Olivia stated.

Noah didn't understand and barely held his fork up to eat ready to fall into his eggs. Raphael was glad it would be a subdued day for Noah.

Olivia kissed Noah goodbye, and hugged Raphael kissing him on the lips before stating

"If everything goes okay I should be back by 5 pm. Hopefully the case they caught last night was open and shut."

Raphael looked over at Noah, who was slowly eating his eggs, and hoped that they would survive the day.

"What do you want to do today, Noah?" Raphael asked

"Can we go to the park?" Noah asked

"Of course." Raphael stated.

Noah went into his room and changed into clothes for the day.

Noah was getting his shoes on when he complained they were too tight. Raphael felt down, and indeed his toes were at the very end of the material.

"Well it looks like we're going shopping for new shoes, whatever you want." Raphael stated.

Noah was excited as Raphael googled the closest kid shoe store. It was only a block away, and he asked Noah if it was too painful to walk when he said, "no." They took a trek to the shoe store. Raphael took the boy in where he immediately went to shoes with cartoon characters all over. An employee measured his foot and was two sizes bigger. Raphael let the boy wander around, and saw he was looking at a pair of dress shoes.

"I want shoes like you wear!" Noah stated.

Raphael laughed.

"They may look nice but their not very comfortable, you can try a pair on and if you like them you can get them, but you need a pair of tennis shoes.

Noah looked odd in dress shoes and shorts, but he happily walked in the all around the store and claimed they didn't hurt so Raphael picked up the box and took him back to the tennis shoes. He finally decided on a pair of blue and black ones, and Raphael checked out.

They quickly went back to the apartment, and he let Noah where the new tennis shoes and they went to the park.

Lucy was right even though Noah was excited about his shoes he was subdued, he didn't run to the park-like Raphael had expected they took a leisurely stroll, and Noah pointed out some places along the way that either Olivia or Lucy has taken him. He stopped to watch a squirrel scurry up a tree and then when they got to the playground, all he wanted to do is swing.

Raphael pushed him at first, but Noah kept the momentum going swing his legs back and forth, he eventually got so high the chains would bend, and he would fall back quickly. Raphael wasn't sure if he should say something or not, but Noah slowed down and going at a more calming height for Raphael's heart.

Raphael was leaning against the swing structure watching as Noah and another little boy Noah seemed to know talked on the swings. Suddenly without warning, Noah jumped from the moving swing and stuck the landing before Raphael could even think to yell at him not to do it.

The other little boy jumped as well.

"This is Dalton!" Noah said.

"Hi, Dalton." Raphael stated.

"So are you his step-dad or something?" Dalton asked.

Raphael felt numb; he had no clue what to tell the little boy who asked who he was. He hadn't talked to Noah about his and Olivia's relationship.

"He's my mom's best friend," Noah replied for Raphael.

"Oh, so you're his mom's boyfriend!" Dalton stated.

Raphael had never wanted to tape a kids mouth shut prior to today, but he was getting the feeling that this Dalton kid may need it. Raphael still didn't respond, but neither kid seemed to notice, and Noah asked if he could play with Dalton on the slides.

"Yeah, buddy of course," Raphael stated as he walked to a bench that surrounded the jungle gym.

Soon enough, he saw the group of ladies that Lucy had warned him about; they sat not really paying attention to their kids; he was convinced one of the ladies was Dalton's mom. They were gossiping, and he had heard one lady ask the other group of ladies who he was. He was about to grab Noah and run out, but it was too late one of the ladies had come to confront him.

"We haven't seen you around." A lady with blonde hair and shirt blue dress came and sat right beside him. He quickly sat at the end of the bench, but her leg was against his. He didn't want her to know how uncomfortable he felt and stayed there.

"Yeah I uh, have Noah today." Raphael stated, pointing to Noah.

"Oh, Lucy is his nanny, right?" The lady questioned.

"Yeah, that's right," Raphael stated.

"His mom has brown hair older lady. She's a cop," She boldly claimed.

"A lieutenant but yes that's his mom," Raphael stated.

"Such a shame she needs a nanny and a man to care for him." the lady touched his shoulder.

"She doesn't need anyone, she happens to be working this weekend." Raphael pulled away and quickly stood up, not believing how fast the woman got to him.

"Well when you finally, realize she's just using you, give me a call, the lady had a piece of paper in her hand he hadn't seen before and attempted to put it in his front pocket before he took it out of her hand and marched over to the slides and told Noah it was time to go.

Noah looked upset but didn't argue and took Raphael's hand.

"I'm sorry, I know you were playing, we can go anywhere else you want to go." Raphael stated.

"The Zoo?" Noah asked.

"Okay, to the zoo," Raphael stated.

He thought about going to the central park as he was sure that was the zoo Noah had been thinking off, but he decided against it. He grabbed his metro card and walked to the nearest stop to get him where he wanted to go. Noah was excited to use the subway; he didn't do it very often. The train wasn't too full, but Raphael insisted he sit still, and stay directly beside Raphael the whole ride. When they got out, Noah looked around, and it wasn't familiar.

"This isn't the zoo," Noah stated.

"We're going to the Bronx Zoo." Raphael stated.

"I've never been to the Bronx Zoo," Noah said happily.

They walked towards the park, Raphael got the tickets and Noah happily roamed around the exhibits. He looked at the bears, and the giraffes, he watched the toucans play for a long time and pointed out animals excitingly. Raphael hadn't been hassled by anyone at the zoo and enjoyed the time. He hadn't realized how late it was, it was nearing 4:30 pm, and he knew they wouldn't quite make it home before Olivia. So he texted him.

Barba: Hey time got away from us we might not be back before you get home.

Olivia: Well, a good thing, I'm stuck here late. I should be done by 6 I had some more paperwork I needed to get done.

Barba: Okay, dinner will be waiting.

Raphael let Noah look at the giraffes one more time, and they walked back to the subway and got to the stop closest to Olivia's apartment.

"What do you want for dinner?" Raphael asked.

"Spaghetti!" Noah stated.

"Okay, Spaghetti it is." They walked to the small grocery on the way to the apartment, Raphael picked out things needed to make his own sauce. He knew how to make pasta but not very well, so he got the boxed kind, and allowed Noah to pick out a few things, including a loaf of garlic bread and vegetables to put in the salad. They got to the apartment at 5:30

"I'm going to make dinner you can go play," Raphael stated.

"Can I watch TV." Noah asked.

"That's fine." Raphael stated.

Noah sprawled out on the couch taking the whole thing up and began watching cartoons at Raphael went to work making spaghetti sauce and grabbing a large pot to boil water. Olivia walked through the door at 6:35 pm as Raphael was cutting up green peppers into the salad.

"Wow, two meals in a day, I think I like you staying here!" Olivia laughed.

"Who knew I could have hired you as a nanny instead," Olivia stated.

"Mommy!" Noah screamed and ran towards her.

"Hi, baby, I missed you so much!" Olivia stated.

"I went to the park and the zoo today!" Noah exclaimed.

Raphael served dinner, and Noah walked without a word to the stools eating and telling Olivia all about his day.

"Mom I even got cool new shoes!" Noah claimed.

Olivia gave Raphael a look.

"He was complaining his shoes were too tight, we got a couple of pairs of shoes no big deal" Raphael explained.

Noah brought his new shoes over to show his mom and Olivia oohed and awwed until she saw the dress shoes said "imported Italian leather."

Olivia bit her tongue putting in a mental note to bring it up tonight after Noah went to bed. Olivia could tell the boy was getting sleepy. She finished eating in peaceful silence and told Noah that he needed a bath soon. The boy protested only for a minute until Olivia threatened no tv tomorrow.

Noah took his bath, and made his way to bed, falling asleep before Olivia or Raphael could tuck him in.

"Hey, I appreciate that Noah had a good time with you, but you didn't need to do all that," Olivia stated.

"I had a good time to Liv, and I wanted it too." Raphael state.

"You're spoiling us both Mr. Barba," Olivia stated.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Raphael stated and kissed her lips.

"Please don't." Olivia said as pulled away.

"What's wrong, Liv." Raphael asked.

"Nothing it's just this is perfect and..." Liv trailed off

"One day, it won't be? One day I won't be here to get Noah whatever shoes he wants, or make you dinner when you're home from work?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Olivia stated breathlessly.

"Liv, you can't think this relationship is over when it has just begun," Raphael stated while rubbing her arms.

"Listen Liv, I get it, but it's not me you've been with, and I have to make up for every failed relationship but I will," Raphael stated

"Raphael..." Olivia stated but had nothing to say

"Liv look I've had my share of heartbreak, nothing as fresh as Tucker though. I'm not going anywhere Liv, but you can't act like I'm guilty of something I haven't even done Liv. I'm innocent."

"I know Raphael I'm so sorry it's just it's hard for me right now to believe this all happening so quickly." Olivia stated.

"Hey, I told you we could take our time, whatever you need," Raphael stated.

"That's not fair to you," Olivia stated.

"Liv, I'm not arguing, just come sit on the couch and relax," Raphael stated.

"So Noah told me his version, tell me about your day," Olivia stated.

"Lucy wasn't kidding about the mom club is there another park nearby," Raphael asked.

Olivia laughed. "Sorry but not with a playground like that. Who hit on you?" Olivia asked.

"How did you know?" Raphael blushed

"Single guy in the park, with a whole bunch of stay at home Manhattan mom's I know," Olivia stated.

"I don't know her name blonde came up to me and tried to put her phone number in my pocket!" She practically tried to sit on top of me, Liv!" Raphael stated.

"Can't blame a girl for trying," Olivia stated and moved, so she was slightly sitting on him.

"Then this kid Dalton came and asked me if I was Noah's step-dad..." Raphael proceeded.

"and..." Olivia ask

"your kid saved me and said we're best friends. Then Dalton said, "oh you're his mom boyfriend. Then they ran off to the slides," Raphael concluded.

"We need to talk to him soon. You know you didn't have to buy him Italian leather shoes Raphael!" Olivia stated.

"He liked them and they were cute I thought we got off that topic a while ago." Raphael stated and leaned in to kiss her.

"Oh no, you don't get to seduce your way out of this," Olivia stated.

"He's going to grow out of those so fast his shoes that were too small. I bought just a few months ago." Olivia stated.

"Well, then I guess in a few more months we'll see if he's interested in a new pair," Raphael stated and continued to try to kiss Olivia.

"You're too much Raphael" Olivia squealed

"You wouldn't want it any other way, Olivia," Raphael stated.

She finally let his lips find hers. She moved so she was comfortably in his lap and his tongue to enter his mouth.

Olivia Benson couldn't describe the feelings she had with Raphael Barba touching her holding her kissing, her. It was instant searing burn where ever he touched. With Ed, it has been nice comfortable but never a fire. Brian may have lit a fire after a while, but it was a slow kindle that would ignite in the bedroom and yeah the sex was good, but she could not get off while only kissing him as she did with Raphael and she wasn't sure just why that was.

Raphael was slowly planting open mouth kisses to her neck, and she moaned involuntarily when he reached her pulse point. She didn't want him to stop. She had her hands rubbing his chest, encouraging the behavior, but before she knew it, he was back to her lips. She couldn't breathe and needed a second for her heart to gain a proper rhythm. So She pulled away and put her head on his shoulder.

"This is something I could get used too." Raphael stated.

Olivia started thinking about how this could end up how she wanted it to end up. They weren't moving fast, but this certainly wasn't slow either. She was already so used to this and wanted; no needed this to work out because she was convinced that she wasn't going to find another man like Raphael Barba.  
She trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone, maybe except Elliot, but that was a long time ago. She wasn't sure when she became so trusting of the man, but he had broken down her walls before she even knew she needed to fortify them. She knew he was right for her and Noah, but still in the very corner of her heart, she hadn't let her guard down and now was the time.

"Raphael?"

"Yeah." He asked

"You know how I said we needed to have a conversation or two? Can we have one of those now?" Olivia asked.

"Of course Liv," Raphael stated, looking in her eyes and waiting for what about to come next.

"I need you to see all my scars. From Lewis from other issues, I need you to be okay with it." Olivia stated.

"Liv I've seen the pictures, I know," Raphael stated.

"But you've seen close up photos when they were raw when we weren't together and it's different now. I want you to know what you're getting into." Olivia stated.

Raphael sighed.

"You realize you're not scaring me away, Liv," Raphael stated.

"I'm not trying too, but I need to know if you can look at them every day," Olivia whispered.

"Okay," Raphael stated.

She walked off and Raphael followed her.

She took off her shirt quickly and Raphael had never seen so much of her skin at once. She had worn a thicker bra with a thick band, and the cups rode high, not showing too much of her cleavage a sports bra he guessed.

He saw a few faded marks on the top of her breasts, and she began to talk.

"This is wear Lewis put cigarettes out on me and pointed to each dot. Raphael had to get close to see them but realized they did have a bit of indention to them a slightly pink hue.

She then pointed to what was an apparent stab wound.

"Not Lewis something that happened a long time ago."

"This," she said, pointing to a white scar on her side was from Sealview, another story for another time."

She unzipped her pants, and if this would be any other moment Raphael Barba would be on top of her by now but he knew what the implications would be if he did so, so he stood back and allowed her to continue, she she had lines running all over her lower belly, and few marks that past below the line of her underwear.

"Lewis again with a coat hanger."

Raphael remembered when he saw the pictures they were close enough he couldn't tell on her body where they were but now they on her body, and it was real, and he couldn't imagine the pain she had been through during that time. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't take it the wrong way. She then turned her leg and let her see the scars Lewis left on her inner thighs; there were so many marks her legs were discolored. She continued down to her knees, and her legs and Raphael tried to listen about how she got them, but it didn't matter. He didn't care. He knew it was important to Olivia, so he waited until she stopped explaining.

"Hey I don't need all the explanations, I only need you." Raphael stated.

Olivia looked down over the scars he knew she was thinking about each one.

"Liv, don't get lost inside that head of yours, we got this if you trust me we got this," Raphael stated.

Raphael closed the gap and hugged her.

"Liv, you don't need to convince me that somehow your not good enough. You are more than enough. I love you." Raphael stated.

"Raphael, please." Olivia stated.

"What, Liv?" Raphael asked he swept his hand over her cheek.

"Promise you'll stay?" Olivia asked

"Yeah, Liv. I'll stay." Raphael had forgotten the state of her undress, and none of that mattered right now. All he wanted to do is hold her until she realized he wasn't going anywhere.


	8. sickness

**A/N: This is an M story for a reason there is sexual content at the end of this chapter and the next several following. **

Another week flew by, he had eaten with Olivia and Noah on Tuesday night and again on Thursday but he couldn't stay, he was nervous enough as it was that he would no way have everything is done by August it was the 3rd week of June. He had gotten rough syllabi together with no details, but enough the law school approved them. Next week he would start shadowing the Criminal Psychology professor. Olivia was off this weekend, and he planned to spend every moment he could with her. He packed the leather bag, wondering when it was so easy to leave the beautiful views from the windows. He walked out, going to another weekend with Olivia and Noah.

Raphael knocked on the door knowing that Lucy was still there, she opened the door and smiled at the man.

"Liv still hasn't given you a key?" Lucy asked.

"That's a big step, Lucy," Raphael mentioned.

"I guess you're right, but it would be easier on you two," Lucy mentioned.

Raphael knew the girl was right but wasn't mentioning it to Olivia. It seemed that every weekend although there wasn't a significant issue, that Olivia had opened herself more and more to him and he was going to let her do that on her own.

Noah was in his bedroom taking a rare nap, Lucy had taken him to the trampoline park , and they had just gotten back. He was worn out, and Lucy told Raphael to make sure the boy was up in the next 30 minutes, or he and Liv would get zero sleep. Raphael had agreed to do so, and Lucy left the home.

Olivia messaged she was on her way. Raphael dug out a book for Criminal Law it had 5 books, which he thought was ridiculous until he saw how small the books were and that they genuinely all were needed. One focused on the criminal, one focused on police, one focused on attorneys one focused on judges, and one focused on all laws in themselves. Of course, the law book was the biggest. It was prevailing federal laws but the 30 chapter book weighed about 8lbs and lugging it around reminded him of his days in law school. He wasn't quite so sure why he put himself through it once again, but he cracked the book open to page 157 chapter 4 where he left off and began reading knowing the book was out of date the instant it was typed because the law had changed. He ran a red highlighter of the topic and section not even bothering and skipped the next few pages.

Raphael looked at the time Noah was 15 minutes passed his nap, and he decided to wake him.

Groggily not looking Noah exceedingly said, "mommy?"

"Sorry, just me." Raphael proclaimed.

"Raphael? when's mommy coming home?" Noah asked he had seemed upset.

"She's on her way right now, with pizza." Raphael smiled

"Really?" Noah asked.

"Now come on let's get up," Raphael stated.

"My legs hurt," Noah stated.

"I'm sure they do I heard you got to bounce around all day at the trampoline park." Raphael stated."

"It was so much fun will you take back one day," Noah asked.

"of course." Raphael replied.

Olivia came through the door with pizza, and kiss for Raphael and a giant bear hug for Noah.

"I missed you today, mommy," Noah stated.

Raphael didn't miss the hurt in Olivia's eye. He knew she felt guilty for leaving him but also knew she would be unhappy retiring early as well. So he smiled at her, hoping she silently knew what he was thinking and helped serve the pizza.

Noah had once again eaten the most out of all of them eating 3.5 slices.

"Can we watch a movie?" Noah asked

"Of course whatever you want to watch," Olivia stated.

Noah had insisted on watching Big Hero 6, and Olivia begrudgingly agreed. Olivia was sure she knew every line by now, and she wasn't sure how she felt about the boy losing his brother and Noah watching that part over and over and over again. She sat down on the couch with Noah who already had the DVD in and waiting for Raphael and his mom to join them. He sat right in between them, making sure they were so close he was sandwiched in. And the movie started playing. It was almost over when Olivia realized Noah fell asleep. She sighed, looking down at him and paused the video.

"I was watching that!" Raphael whispered.

Olivia had to laugh, and pressed play, waiting for the movie to end. Raphael took the little boy to his room, tucked him in, and came back out to see Olivia packing the dishwasher with their dirty plates.

Olivia embraced the man and gave him a quick kiss pulling her lips away but ensuring she stayed close and Raphael held her for a long time just enjoying the fact they were together.

"Liv, I love you." Raphael stated.

It was an inter thought that totally passed through his mouth it wasn't intentional, and he wasn't sure what made him say it. Just the moment of having her close, the fact that he couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else right now all welled up and out of his mouth before he could stop it.

He froze rigid not wanting to take it back but not sure what Olivia would say or what to say after that. He had said it once before when emotions were running high, but this was different.

After several seconds of no response.

"Liv, I..." Raphael started.

She stopped him from talking and took his lips and pushed him against the wall. Her heart was pounding, and his was too. She had lightly bit his lip and drifted her tongue into his mouth, and when she had to stop for air, she looked directly in his eyes and said.

"I love you too."

Raphael was thrilled with the admission that came through her lips and suddenly he was the aggressor, kissing her hard and then leaving trailing kisses down her neck which made her instantly pull her head back Allowing more straightforward time and groaning in pleasure for the moment. Raphael Couldn't help but smile when he heard her. He stopped and looked back into her eyes, Her whole face was pure joy, which made him feel the same way.

As much ask they both wanted to continue, Olivia still hadn't finished cleaning up. She wanted to shower and knew that Raphael had a lot on his plate. She handed him the textbook and said.

"They don't read themselves."

Raphael laughed and knew it to be true. He started the next section. He had known he needed to work on it some while being with Noah and Olivia, and if Olivia was anything it was disciplined. So he sat on the stool, talking to himself as he saw a mistake or another law that has since changed and grumbled while changing highlighters to indicate meanings in the book.

Olivia had finished cleaning the kitchen long ago and was picking up some toys Noah left in the living room, but she couldn't help but stare at him, watching as he concentrated so hard on what he needed to get done. He had always been like that, and Olivia wondered how he had let "I love you" slip.

She knew he meant But she also knew he hadn't meant to say it. She was happy he did and didn't immediately say it back until he didn't start to backtrack. She knew he was about to apologize when she began to kiss him just 20 minutes ago, but she never wanted those words to fall from his lips, especially when she felt the same.

Olivia grabbed a book and started reading, unlike Raphael, she was reading for pleasure. She wasn't sure how long had passed, but she could hear his frustration building with the book. So she set her book down and walked over to him.

"Hey why don't you take a break for the night." she stated, and walked over and began to rub his overly tight shoulders.

Raphael was happy to agree and put a bookmark in and moved his neck around as Olivia started continued to rub his shoulders.

"That feels good, you know," Raphael stated.

"Almost as good as Dominque." Raphael stated.

Olivia instantly stopped.

"Relax Liv she's my masseuse," Raphael stated.

"You have a masseuse?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah and you are welcome to meet her, I can book a couples massage next week." Raphael said as he grabbed his phone ready to type in the familiar web address to book the appointment.

"You're serious," Olivia stated.

"Uh yeah, I go to the Relaxation clinic on 32nd St. at least twice a month, I haven't been since I left SVU though, it might be part of my problem." Raphael admitted.

Olivia bit her lip. She thought about it for a minute.

"If your uncomfortable, we could just do facials." Raphael said.

"So that's how you have the young glow that bestows your face," Olivia stated. "Any other secrets I should know about?"

Raphael's heart pounded for a second thinking to the scar running down his leg; he really should tell her, and felt like a hypocrite for not doing so already.

When Raphael didn't immediately respond, and Olivia saw the look in his eyes.

"Hey, whatever it is you can tell me," Olivia stated.

"Yeah I know, it's just stupid I haven't told you before now.

Olivia waited for the man to open up.

"You know Liv, I have a few scars of my own, and one that's just bad and the story behind it, I mean I'm not sure how you'd feel," Raphael stated.

" Just show me." Olivia stated.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah of course." Olivia stated, and they walked in, Raphael, pulled the polo over his head, leaving him in an undershirt, and then began pulling down his pants, leaving him in boxer briefs. Olivia's eyes stayed on his face.

"When I turn around and you see my leg Liv, it happened a long time ago." Raphael proceeded.

Olivia waited for him to turn, she saw the dark red in some spots raised areas of a large scar running down his leg, stopping about 3 inches above his knee and disappearing under his shorts. Olivia wasn't quite sure what to think.

"What happened?" she asked as wondered just how far up the scar went.

Liv what I'm about to tell you I should have told you a long time ago, and it just never came up. I didn't know how to broach the subject.

Olivia bit her lip, not know what to expect.

"Liv I need you to know that I'm bisexual," Raphael stated.

"Oh, how does this have to do with the scar?"

"I was at Harvard at the time, and I was seeing a much younger man, he was 18, and I was 23. His family didn't know. His parents made a surprise visit to his dorm room and caught us kissing in the common area. His father attacked me. I had to be taken to the hospital. He had broken a vase, I fell on top of it the shard slid down.

"Jesus! Raph, why didn't you say anything?" Olivia asked as she turned him around. She could see the tears in his eyes.

"I didn't know how you'd react; does this change us?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah it does, now I have to worry about hot men trying to give you their phone number too!" Olivia stated.

Raphael laughed. The unshod tears were falling as he let out a sigh of relief.

Raphael sat down on the bed, not having his pajamas he pulled his pant up but took the belt off and rolled it putting it on the nightstand. Olivia motioned for him to lay down, and he agreed. Olivia was cuddling up next to him.

"Thanks, Liv, for understanding," Raphael stated.

"Did you ever, peruse charges?" Olivia asked.

"No, I mean I know the man was freaked out by the whole situation and back then it was different. After that I never saw them again, Ian withdrew and I for a long time, I just simply tried to forget." Raphael stated.

"It took me a long time to find the courage to date anyone after that, and a lot of therapy to show me it wasn't my fault," Raphael stated.

"Liv I want you to know that just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I'm out looking for a man or that I'm not going to be satisfied by you I just don't want you to worry that you aren't good enough." Raphael stated.

"You're bisexual, not a cheater Raphael, I get it. I understand that. But I do worry. I'm not good enough because you're perfect." Olivia stated.

"I'm not," Raphael stated.

" Close enough to me," Olivia remarked

"I love you Olivia." Raphael stated for the 2nd time that day.

"I love you too." Olivia stated.

She didn't want to give up spooning the man taking over her bed, but as she looked at the clock was already ten, and with Noah napping and going to sleep early she wouldn't be sleeping in.

"Hey I still need to shower, and such, meet me back here when you're ready for bed?" Olivia asked.

"Of course." Raphael stated, he turned around for the first time since the conversation started and kissed her hard, hoping she would realize how grateful he was to all her understanding and wasn't sure if anyone else got him like Olivia did.

Olivia showered and shaved. She wasn't sure sex was on the table tonight, but she was willing to give the man a show. She wore a thin lavender nightgown and put on scalloped boy shorts that poked right under the hem of the gown. She dried her hair. She took a deep breath and walked back out to the bedroom.

Raphael had walked into the room the same time she stepped out.

Raphael couldn't help but moan.

"Jesus Liv, you gorgeous"

She smiled, knowing it just wasn't a line, not from him.

"Not too bad yourself" She whispered as she saw him a tighter t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.

He blushed but just shook his head.

She didn't regret showing off for him, but she was exhausted. She knew he wouldn't pressure her but felt terrible for being a tease. She quickly hid under the covers, and Raphael went to his side of the bed. 'His side' he thought and smiled when he was lying next to her. Although he knew she liked to cuddle him, he turned, over facing her asking if he could instead wrap his arms around her, she agreed. He felt the slick fabric of the nightgown, and rubbed it over and over wanting to take his shirt off just to feel the material up against his skin, but he didn't when finally settled his arm he had wrapped if entirely around her stomach, and not that Olivia didn't trust him, but she felt trapped, his arm heavier than she thought and she moved it allowing his arm lay on top of her side, his hand resting on her hip.

"Can you keep your arm like that?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah of course." Raphael stated.

He was comfortable and Olivia seemed pleased she pushed back into him allowing him to take some of her weight as she attempted to drift off to sleep. Raphael was convinced he could stay in that position forever and drifted off to sleep.

Raphael woke with a start he heard crying, and felt Olivia slip out of bed he bolted up confused by the situation surrounding him, it took him a minute to realize it was Noah and he could hear Olivia shushing him.

Raphael walked out to the hallway, to the smell of vomit, and he almost added to the collection on the floor. It was apparent Noah was upset about puking in the hall, and Olivia was trying to get him calm down. Her nightgown was covered in a goo that Raphael knew to be a mix of puke snot and tears from the little boy. He was at a loss on what would help the situation currently.

Noah wanted to run to Raphael and cling to him, but Olivia stopped him from getting is puke stained clothes all over Raphael.

The little boy stood in the hallway in just his underwear, and Olivia asked Raphael to get a few arms to wash clothes to wipe Noah down. He had agreed and saw some lavender oil in the bathroom putting just a drop on each of the clothes, and coming back to the hallway to see Olivia cleaning up and Noah still standing in one place his tears were still flowing but, he was quiet.

"Come here, Mijo." Raphael stated and wiped down Noah's face and chest. He was breathing in the calming lavender scent and calming down. Noah clung to him. Olivia got a new pair of pajamas for Noah to step into he was half asleep. Olivia looked down at him and tried to get him to go back to his room, but he was still clinging to Raphael.

"let him sleep in here," Raphael stated.

Olivia would have customarily allowed her sick boy to stay with her, but with Raphael in the bed, she wasn't quite sure he would care for the boys' sleep patterns. She nodded her head, and Raphael pulled him to the bed with him. Olivia checked he had no fever, and she wasn't sure what had happened, but she knew he was a little pale. She went to see what time it was on her phone it was 3:30 am, and she had a text from Lucy.

Lucy: Sorry if Noah is sick, I took him to the park, and we had a hotdog I thought it tasted funny, but Noah insured me his tasted just fine. I have nothing left in my stomach right now.

"Well that explains that, a bad hotdog from lunch," Olivia stated.

Raphael nodded Noah was curled up in a ball, and Olivia put the boy towards the outside of the bed and moved the wastebasket to edge of the bed just in case of round 2.

The next morning Noah still didn't feel right, but he hadn't thrown up, but all he wanted to do is take turns crawling into Olivia or Raphael's lap on the couch. The threesome cuddled up on the sofa with blankets all around and kept cartoons on. Raphael was able to focus on reading, for the most part, only taking breaks when Noah asked a question, or he had to get up for the bathroom or a snack. He was so focused; he didn't realize that Olivia had gotten up and ordered Chinese and jumped when there was a knock on the door. Noah had been asleep for the past couple hours, and Raphael Barba's stomach growled when the smell of food hit him. He had almost finished the book and was proud of the progress he had made.

Olivia woke Noah up who was equally as hungry as Raphael, but she insisted he ate some egg drop soup first and then giving him scoops of lo mein and cheese wontons. Noah ate happily as did Raphael, and it made her laugh how they ate quickly and silently. Olivia sat and chewed slowly. She watched the two get up and Noah finding new energy since he hadn't felt good all day. He was running around, but Olivia was hoping all the carbs would make him crash, but she wasn't so sure it would happen. Noah begged to go to the park even though it was now 8 pm and close to bedtime.

"It's dark out Noah, but first thing in the morning we can go to the park." Olivia explained.

"But I want to swing now!" Noah protested.

"Noah, we are not walking in the dark to the park for you to go swing! If you want to go in the morning we can, and you've been sick, and you're just hyper." Olivia tried to explain.

"But mom..." Noah started.

"You're not going to the park tonight, end of the discussion, go get ready for your bath." Olivia stated.

Noah stomped down the hallway, and Olivia wasn't sure if she was ready to laugh or cry.

Noah had agreed to the bath with extra toys and splashed and screamed in delight, as the bubbles came up all around, Olivia let him stay in as long as he wanted but kept the bathroom door opened letting him play. Raphael once again cracked open another book, while Olivia had been putting away Noah's clothes.

Noah splashed around a lot longer than Olivia was expecting but glad to see he was ready for bed after he got out. Noah asked for Raphael to read him goodnight but Olivia denied him, as he was still going over a textbook and Noah needed some type of punishment she read him a quick story and tucked him before going to distract Raphael from his work. He must have heard her close Noah's door because his book was closed and he was rubbing his temples.

Olivia had him turn sideways, and she rubbed his shoulders again.

"How the hell did I do this the first time through?" Raphael asked.

"Because your professors went through every page to see what was necessary, and you cared and studied and tried," Olivia stated.

"I guess, will you tell me why you dropped out?" Raphael asked.

"I was hoping you forgot about that tidbit Noah brought up," Olivia stated.

Liv, I never forget anything, it's part of being a good lawyer, but if you don't want to discuss it." Raphael started.

"I don't know if I can articulate it in a way that won't make you angry." Olivia stated.

"Liv why would I be mad, I mean it was your choice, you're doing what you love now, and a law degree isn't needed," Raphael stated.

"I never went back because I still feel the same way after all this time and its complicated to explain and I know it doesn't make a lot of sense but.." Olivia started.

"I'll try to understand, I won't get mad," Raphael assures her.

"I couldn't deal with them; I couldn't deal with the other students, the professors, the arrogance like they always knew everything all the time. I hated the legal loopholes and trading and bartering. I hated the fact that people who were guilty got no prison time and innocent people got life in jail. I know being a cop isn't much different, but it was better to investigate and believe my thoughts and feeling not what the state would want me to prosecute or who or what I would have to defend. After a friend of mine went to the academy and talked more about different programs I was sold, and that was my way to help people get justice. I was chasing down the bad guys, getting confessions, and trying my hardest to get an ADA what they needed. Trying my hardest to get a case for everyone who had any evidence." Olivia stated.

"I understand more than you know," Raphael stated. is eyes looking back at her.

"It's hard not to take things personally, it's hard to go to trial for a case you don't believe in, or believe in so much that when you lose it's as a piece of your soul was taken. You question every little thing, and I know you do too getting the cases together. You have to have a special something to get through it, and I am surprised I stayed as ADA for so long, you see where it got me." Raphael stated.

Olivia didn't want to go down that rabbit hole tonight, now was not the time to be thinking of what could have been. So she smiled and said

"Yeah, it got you here with me," Olivia stated.

Raphael smiled, knowing the Olivia was telling the truth.

He leaned in to kiss her, and his headache that had been there moments before dulled into nothingness as the kiss continued and she took the lead her tongue licking his bottom lip to ask for access to the rest of his mouth which he instantly granted. It was like he couldn't get enough of her, and his stomach fluttered in excitement as her hands trailed along his chest and down his stomach. Olivia felt his muscles pulsate and lazily drew shapes with her fingers causing the tingling feeling all over his body. She couldn't help but smile as his body reacted to her touch. Raphael wasn't protesting. She kept dipping her hands lower and lower until she started to feel the curly hair and his hip bucked up involuntary.

Olivia smiled and Raphael held his breath as she pulled on his pants, asking for entrance. He looked down the hallway to Noah's door, scared to death the little boy would catch them.

"Perhaps in the bedroom?" Raphael said breathlessly, as he kept his eye on the door.

Olivia looked at the same way he understood the desire to move.

"Of course." Olivia stated.

Olivia stood up, pulling Raphael to her bedroom and closed and for good measure, locked the bedroom door. Olivia pushed Raphael against the door and put both hands up his shirt, thumbing over his nipples and gasping in pleasure as they hardened and moaned in her mouth. She pulled up on his shirt, Raphael took the hint and discarded it. Olivia was looking and roaming his chest and his back. Raphael's body was humming in delight but couldn't help but feel the barrier of clothing that Olivia had. He had his hands all over her underneath her shirt, but there was no skin to skin contact he had been craving. She allowed him to remove the shirt. He revealed a navy colored bra that had a V shape plunging down, and he couldn't be but wonder what was behind the pads of it.

Olivia pushed her body against his; he felt more skin than he ever had his erection already hard and wanting to curse himself that he was that easily turned on by her and knew if sex was on the table tonight, he wouldn't last long. He felt Olivia's hands slide under his boxers, and down to his butt, grabbing it pushing his hips closer to hers.

"Liv" He moaned out.

"Yeah?"

"Are we doing this?" Raphael asked.

Olivia stopped for a second to process the question.

"If that's okay with you," Olivia stated.

"Very okay with me." Raphael stuttered as hand unbuttoned his pants, and they fell to the ground.

Raphael once again felt Olivia was overdressed, and unbuttoned her pants, that she slid down her legs. He took a look at her taking her in all at once, and she was simply breathtaking. Her curves. Her hair falling perfectly in place. Her swollen lips from all the kissing and teasing.

They both stood awkwardly for a minute taking each other in. They both knew they should be doing something anything, but they both were searing images into their mind of his moment, and neither cared too much about how they looked toward each other.

Raphael finally closed the gap standing flush beside her walking her back towards the bed. He didn't push her back to fall, so he waited for her, and she turned around Raphael's legs hitting the back of the bed he sat down and she instantly sat in his lap touching and feeling all over her hands roaming occasionally tracing the outline of his hardness making it swell even more. Raphael had dipped his fingers into her bra and she pulled down the straps allowing him to unhook the back causing her breast to spill out the bra Raphael lightly pinched at her nipples, making her grind her hips into him, and he fell back onto the bed ready for whatever she was willing to offer him.

Olivia felt on fire but wasn't in the most comfortable position; she got up, shoved Raphael towards the top middle of her bed and climbed over the top of him. She could feel herself anticipating touch, and his fingers scraped the edge of her underwear she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his hand and stuck it into her folds, Raphael instantly felt her wetness and bucked up at the anticipation of what was to come. Olivia would have laughed but couldn't because as soon as his fingers began to move, she moaned loudly in pleasure, forgetting for a second her surroundings. Raphael shushed her, and she remembered the little boy of hers was right next door.

"Please Raphael." Olivia stated.

Raphael wasn't sure exactly what she was asking for but continued to move his fingers around and told one and entered her. She clamped down hard on the finger and he inserted another and began to rub her until he felt the fresh wetness come and she pulled away.

"Your turn." Olivia said. She pulled his boxers off and studied his length. She put her hand around him and thrust a few times, and Raphael let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"You ready?" she asked

All Raphael could do was nod his head.

She smiled, lined him up, and sank onto him.

He needed her to move and stay still all at once. He was sure he had died the moment he entered her the feeling different than all the other times he could remember but he wasn't sure if its because it's been so long or because he actually loved her or if she was just good none that mattered though because with each thrust they were meeting together and Raphael was grabbing at her pushing up meeting her, needing more but he didn't know what. His lip touched hers, he grabbed at her breasts and felt her tighten around him and that was total undoing. He groaned out in pleasure as he felt Olivia pulsate around him, she herself seeming to be on the brink and allowed her to ride him a few more thrust reaching her second climax, before laying on top of him.

He was still inside her the feeling surreal. She was laying on top of him but was moving to get up, and he felt the warm liquid fall down him.

"Shit we didn't use anything," Raphael stated and sat up quickly.

"Raphael, it's okay, I'm clean, and I can't get pregnant. No offense you haven't seen anyone in a while we're good." Olivia said, pulling him back down.

"We're good." Raphael stated as he laid back, Olivia by his side until the drifted asleep.


	9. New places, new faces

Sunday morning came early for Raphael; he was sure the chilliness woke him up he was bare. He felt dirty and sticky from the night before but smiled when he saw Olivia. He saw the bright red numbers saying it was 5:30 am, it was still too early to be awake, but he also couldn't go back to sleep and didn't want to wake Liv. He slowly got up, attempted to miss the squeak in the floor but didn't, and held his breath looking back at Olivia who didn't move. He grabbed his pants, and pulled them up, and slowly and quietly went back to the living room where is overnight bag was. Everything sounded loud, but he got back to her room without waking her or Noah. He went to her bathroom and turned on the shower, hoping not to disturb her.

Raphael didn't know, but he had, in fact, woke up Olivia and she groaned when she looked at the time. She knew she should just turn over but Raphael Barba was in her bathroom using her shower, and she couldn't resist the urge to join him. She thought about it for a minute and decided she would at least ask him first.

So she pulled over his shirt to cover herself just in case he wanted his privacy, she knocked on the door but proceeded to open it.

"I didn't mean to wake you Liv." He said.

"I know, care if I join you?" Olivia asked.

Raphael stuck his head from behind the curtain, checking to see if he heard her correctly.

"Join me?" Raphael asked.

She laughed yeah, "You know share the shower," Olivia stated.

A groan came out of his mouth that she accepted as a yes.

She pulled off his shirt and stepped in behind him. He instantly turned around to take in her body.

They kissed, and she let him touch all over, and she was doing the same. His penis poking into her belly, and she grabbed it.

"Liv," he moaned out.

She began to rub and touch, watching his face as he closed his eyes, and she started tugging a little harder.

"Liv, I'm gonna..."

Liv continued to work until he had finished and let out a breath he had been holding for a long time.

She giggled at the wide grin she had received.

"If I knew I would wake up to that I would have gotten up a lot earlier," Raphael stated.

Olivia hugged him and laughed as she just being near him made her stomach burn with ache.

Raphael kissed her And made long strokes down her breasts and around to her butt. She moaned in pleasure and his fingers dipped closer and to closer to her folds but she was already trembling with excitement that she didn't trust her footing, so she pulled his hands back up.

"It's too much I'm not explaining to the ER how I fell out of my shower." Olivia stated. Raphael laughed, and continued the kissing and finally took turns washing each other until the water started to run cold. Raphael didn't get fully dressed; they had been in the shower for almost an hour, and Olivia yawned.

"Come back to bed before Noah wakes," Olivia stated.

Raphael agreed only in a t-shirt in boxers, Olivia had a robe on. She laid on her side, and Raphael spooned her.

"Do you want to sleep or you have other things on your mind?" He asked.

"To be honest, both," Olivia stated.

"Sleep then we have time later," Raphael stated.

Olivia and Raphael fell back asleep until 8:30 am when Noah knocked on the door.

Raphael sat up first Noah was awake, and here was with his naked mother in bed. He shook her awake.

Olivia stretched, Readjusted her robe and opened the door.

"good morning sweet boy," Olivia stated.

"Mommy you and Raphael had a sleepover." Noah noticed.

"We did sweetheart," Olivia stated.

"I like when we have sleepovers," Noah stated

"Me too. Let mommy get dressed, and we can have breakfast." Olivia laughed.

Olivia closed back her door and Raphael made his move to gather the rest of his clothing.

Raphael dressed, ignoring Olivia because if he didn't, Noah would be waiting a long time for breakfast. Olivia was quick to dress in a t-shirt and leggings. Her hair was still damp from the early morning shower, and she put it in a ponytail. Olivia wasn't interested in cooking that morning and pulled boxes of cereal out for everyone to pick their favorite.

Noah was hurrying already asking to go to the park.

"Will they be there?" Raphael asked.

"Who?" Olivia asked.

Raphael rubbed his neck and blushed. He didn't say anything.

"Oh the moms, not as many it's Sunday afternoon they have to go to church to keep up appearances," Olivia stated.

"Well in that case, maybe stay close by." Raphael stated.

Olivia laughed

"Afraid of a few women out on the prowl," Olivia asked.

"Very much so, they are something else." Raphael laughed.

Olivia, Raphael and Noah headed to the park, its already warm and Olivia regretted not grabbing bottled water out of the fridge. Noah ran the whole way there, and Olivia was keeping a brisk pace to keep up with him. Raphael could feel his heart race not used to the fast pace in the heat and reminded himself he needed to get out more as he was jogging to keep up.

When they got to the playground Noah got a swing and instantly kicked off and swung high not caring that the chains were bouncing and going back and forth. Olivia didn't seem too concerned so it let Raphael relax just a little. He swung for a bit then ran over to the playground area, climbing up the net ladder and going down the slide. Olivia stood at the corner of the playground, and Raphael eyed the ladies sitting on the bench the blonde woman he met last time hadn't made an appearance but a few of the other women he recognized.

"Should have brought a book with you," Olivia stated.

"You think we will really be here that long," Raphael asked.

"Maybe."

"I needed a break anyway. I don't even know if I could read Dr. Suess at this point. I am done reading for the weekend." Raphael stated.

Olivia and Raphael watched Noah play until Raphael got a call from his mother. He walked away to a quieter area of the park, to hear his mother yell at him about skipping mass, after telling her he would go this week. It had totally slipped his mind he tried to explain to his mother that he forgot and she continued to berate him. Olivia looked over and could see the expression on his face but didn't intrude.

Raphael's mother insisted that he have dinner with her and go to Sunday night Mass. Raphael agreed to meet his mother and finally felt it was time to tell his mother about Olivia. He was facing away from the playground, and as he turned a woman, he had seen last Saturday was walking towards him.

"You were here last weekend, right?" The woman asked.

"Yes, with Noah, and I am currently here with him and his mother, Olivia," Raphael claimed.

"Oh, with her," and pointed over to Olivia, who was watching Noah slide down the pole.

"Yes, with her." Raphael confirmed. He was about to walk away, but the woman stood directly in front of him. She put her hand on his shoulder and asked:

"Is she really your type?"

Raphael brushed the ladies hand away and responded

"Very much so, now if you will excuse me."

The lady stepped in front of him again. Olivia turned and looked and saw the scowl that Raphael was giving the lady.

"You don't have a ring, how about just one date." The woman asked.

"No, thanks you're not my type," Raphael stated. He stepped aside, but the lady grabbed at him.

Before he could say another word, Olivia was directly beside him. She had walked at an angle that she could still see Noah, and get to Raphael without him or the woman noticing.

"He said no, and if you don't take your hands off him, I'll arrest you for assault," Olivia said in a very possessive voice one, he hadn't quite heard before.

The lady sighed then said, "your loss." and walked off.

"Jesus, Rafi, I didn't know they were that bad," Olivia stated.

Raphael shrugged his shoulders and walked back towards the playground.

"Everything okay with your phone call," Olivia asked.

"Yeah about that, I forgot I was supposed to go to Mass with my mother this morning. She insists I come to dinner and evening Mass tonight." Raphael stated.

Olivia looked at him for a minute.

"You still haven't told her," Olivia stated.

"It's not that I wasn't going too, I already decided tonight I would, it's just I was working on the syllabus, and I knew my mom would have 1000 questions." Raphael stated.

"It's okay, it's not like I've told anyone really," Olivia stated.

"So who all knows," Raphael asked.

"Amanda obviously and Fin knows a little more, but that's it," Olivia stated.

"Fin knows more than Amanda?" Raphael asked.

"Well not necessarily more. He knows your not a fling." Olivia stated.

"So Amanda thinks we're a fling," Raphael asked.

"No, it's just she hasn't asked we've all been busy, and I don't kiss and tell, as you very well know," Olivia stated.

Noah was still running around playing with other kids and didn't notice the conversation Olivia and Raphael were having. It wasn't an argument, but neither one of them were very happy either.

"I need to go to my apartment before meeting my mother, I'm having dinner at her place at 5:30, and she would have a heart attack if I were in anything less than a three-piece suit," Raphael explained.

The two didn't notice how close Noah was to them until he suddenly asked: "We're going to Raphael's apartment?"

Olivia looked back at Raphael, not knowing what to say to the boy.

"Do you want to see my apartment?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, mommy says you have giant windows, and you can see the water," Noah said excitingly.

"That's right. Well, come on, let's go." Raphael stated.

It was close to noon when they got to Olivia's apartment. They were all sweaty from the sun, and Olivia insisted on a quick shower before leaving and made Noah wipes down all the dirt off his face arms and legs. They took Olivia's car it had the booster seat and drove to his apartment. When Noah walked through the door, he ran to the windows.

"Wow you can see the whole river from here, and there is park too!" Noah exclaimed looking down at the green space.

"Mommy why don't we live here, it has a park and the water and its so pretty."

"Well mommy can't afford a two-bedroom here Noah, and you would have to go to another school and you wouldn't see any of your friends at the park you go to now," Olivia explained.

"Can't Lucy just drive me to school?" Noah asked.

Raphael didn't want to say anything, but he made less than she did as an ADA, and about the same as she did now. He did indeed have two bedrooms, but that was a discussion for another time.

"I can stay here with Raphael," Noah exclaimed.

Raphael heard the words that he knew definitely cut into Olivia, but she didn't show it. They both knew he didn't realize what he was saying, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt Olivia. Raphael couldn't help but feel the joy that Noah trusted Raphael enough to want to stay here forever.

"No baby, you can't where would you sleep?" Olivia asked.

"On the couch." He went to spread out on it.

"It's not like ours mommy," Noah commented.

"It certainly isn't," Olivia exclaimed.

"You might have fun for a few days, but you would miss your toys and your room and Mommy doesn't live here, so you would miss me too." Olivia commented.

"I'd miss you the most mommy," Noah stated and hugged her.

The heart he had broken just a few moments before he mended once again. Olivia hugged him tightly and with that Raphael explained his plan, of showering and getting dressed and told Olivia that Noah was free to explore.

Raphael went to his bedroom, and picked out a navy suit, with a red gingham shirt and matching tie. He had Navy suspenders as well. He walked over to his bathroom as he heard Noah loudly walking around, looking at everything in the apartment. Raphael got out of the shower and put on his pants, and button shirt but left the rest laying on the bed until it was closer to leaving.

"You have a library in your apartment!" Noah stated.

"It's just an office Noah, not that I will need it any longer," Raphael stated.

Olivia gave him a quizzical look.

"The ADA office, I never took a lot of my own stuff to it, but my office at NYU is double the size I've already got stuff from my old Office there, and to be honest, I never worked in here, so..." He wanted to finish saying it could be another bedroom indicating Noah would get his wish, but he wasn't saying anything in front of Noah like that and he didn't want to get himself too far into the future they had barely started this relationship but he could already imagine being with her forever.

Raphael made lunch for the 3 of them, and they watched some TV but they mainly people watched and looked at the river in front of them. All 3 of them sitting in the window seal taking in the sights.

If Olivia was being honest, she could spend the rest of her life in the window looking out over the water, Sitting with Noah and Raphael and let the world pass by them. She was content and happy to do simple things. As she watched out the window, she forgot about work, and the stress she had been having with all the adjustments that she had made. Not that she didn't want Raphael in her life, it still changed the family dynamic. She watched as a boat floated along out of sight and leaned back in Raphael's arms as Noah kept asking questions about the park and the Hudson River and the people he could see down below.

Raphael was trying to avoid the inevitable of Olivia and Noah leaving and him not quite knowing the next good time to see them again. He was following the other professor for the next 6 weeks and although he had the schedule, he couldn't quite remember it and although he was almost done with the final book for Criminal Law he still had the Into to law school class he hadn't even delved into. He only had 8 more weeks before the start of the fall term. He knew that he wouldn't be as stressed when he got the hang of everything, but he knew it could take a while.

"Liv I got to get moving," Raphael stated.

"Where are you going?" Noah asked.

"I have to see my mommy tonight," Raphael explained.

"Wait you're going to see your mommy!" Noah asked.

"Yes, Noah she misses me very much, so I need to see her," Raphael explained.

"I want to meet Raphael's mommy!" Noah shouted.

"One day you can meet her, but Raphael is going to dinner with her, and then he is going to Mass. We will see him sometime later in the week." Olivia stated.

Raphael thought about it for a second, if he took Noah with him, his mother wouldn't ask half as many questions, and he was well behaved evening mass wasn't quite as formal, so he risked asking.

"Actually if he wants to come..." Raphael stated.

Olivia looked back at him for a minute and looked at Noah, who was very excited.

"Raphael, are you using him to get out of the 3rd degree from your mother?" Olivia asked.

Raphael bit his lip.

"When was the last time you had a relaxing evening alone?" Raphael asked.

Olivia sighed, it would be nice to be alone in her apartment. A hot bubble bath and a glass or 2 of wine. She knew Raphael would take care of him. Lucia will not be happy that Raphael is using a 6-year-old to get out of an argument but also knew that Lucia would be pleased about having Noah over no matter the reason. Against her better judgment, she agreed.

"I am not allowing him to be your excuse all the time, but it will be nice to be alone for a few hours," Olivia stated.

Raphael grinned

I should have him back by 9.

"Well, we need to go back by my place and get his booster seat in your car," Olivia stated.

Raphael hurried and got ready

On the way back to Olivia's apartment Noah stated he wanted to dress nicely to meet "Raphael's mommy."

They didn't have a lot of time, so Olivia had Raphael run upstairs with him while she got his booster seat correctly positioned his Raphael's car. Noah insisted on wearing the shoes Raphael got for him. He wore navy pants and a red polo, and sort of matched Raphael. He smiled at the boy and walked back down just as Olivia did one final check that the booster seat was in the car right.

"I think it might be easier if I just get one," Raphael stated.

"You don't have too they're not cheap, and Lucy has one, I can have her leave it on the weekends," Olivia commented.

"I want to Liv, I'll see you tonight," Raphael stated after Noah was strapped in, he turned to Olivia and kissed her and found he didn't want to stop.

"You're going to be late," Olivia stated.

"Right! okay, I'll be back, enjoy your time." Raphael stated.

Olivia kissed Noah goodbye. She was ready to take a hot bath, have a glass of wine, and watch mind-numbing tv until Noah came home. She would read to him, tuck him in and then fall asleep before she would have to wake up early and start her week.

Raphael drove in silence to his mothers wondering if it was a good idea to tote Noah around, he was sure his mother would be questioned by all her friend about Noah's sudden appearance. He knew he was using the little boy as a buffer but it was what it was, and he certainly wasn't going to ruin Olivia's evening home alone not knowing the last time she allowed such luxury and felt terrible for the fact that he hadn't thought of it before today.

Raphael groaned as he looked at the time, he was 8 minutes late already, and it was another 10 minutes to his mother's house. His phone was ringing, but he didn't dare answer it while driving. He pulled up near the apartment, got Noah out of his booster seat, and knocked on the door.

Lucia opened the door already yelling at Raphael before the door fully opened.

"Can you not even make it on time to see your mother! Seriously Raphael what has gotten into you!" Lucia asked.

Noah looked at the older lady and back at Raphael.

"Your mommy is very mad at you!" Noah stated.

"You're right, and she should be, I'm late," Raphael stated.

Lucia looked at the little boy standing next to her son. He had a mop of curly hair, and she noticed he was color coordinating with her son.

"Mijo, who is this?" Lucia asked.

"This is Noah Benson." Raphael stated.

"Olivia's son?" Lucia asked

"You know my mom?" Noah asked excitingly.

"So that's who has been keeping you away," Lucia stated?

"I was here almost every day last week," Raphael mentioned.

"For help, before that, I hadn't seen you in weeks." Lucia stated.

"I know I was out of town for a while after the trial, and then I realized I just needed to come home. Then I've been here. I know I have been dodgy I'll try harder to be here for more than just when I need help at work."

"Fair enough." Lucia stated.

The 3 of them sat at her dinner table, and Lucia hadn't asked many questions but did ask about Olivia, and asked Noah 100 questions about himself. Noah was happy with the attention he was receiving and was delighted to meet "Raphael's mommy" as he kept calling her. As they were getting Noah in Raphael's car, Raphael shut the door.

"So this is serious?" Lucia asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Raphael stated.

"Your happy, and I am happy you're happy why didn't you invite her over?" Lucia asked.

"She deserves time to herself, and I didn't want to just show up with 2 extra bodies as a surprise," Raphael commented.

"You just didn't want me asking 1000 questions." Lucia stated.

"Well, there was that…" Raphael admitted.

Lucia smiled and got into the passenger seat. Raphael took the driver's seat, and they drove to the church he has gone to since before he could remember. Noah walked up the large steps with him and smiled in delight as he saw the large sanctuary taking in all the sights and sounds.

"If this gets too boring, you will let me know right," Raphael asked.

Lucia smacked Raphael in the arm.

"I remember being dragged here often enough. I don't want him to hate it." Raphael stated.

Lucia didn't say anything else as service started. Noah sat through it, looking around climbing into Raphael's lap at one point and holding on when they stood.

"I know it's close to bedtime Mijo, just a little longer." He stated.

Lucia heard his whispers and couldn't believe what had come out of his mouth. She was happy for Raphael but concerned that he was already this close to Noah. She couldn't say much because it seems her prayers have been answered and her son was finally settling down.

The ending prayer was preformed, and Noah was asleep in Raphael's lap. He wasn't sure if he could pick him up from the sitting position, but when he went to stand he found that it was easier than he thought to carry Noah's weight. He walked out with Noah relaxed against him, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so at peace. He was overjoyed by the fact that Noah trusted him enough just then his phone rang it was Olivia.

"Hey, we got a major case, and I need to go in, for a little bit, I can call Lucy I just wanted to let you know that I won't be home when you get here." Olivia stated.

"No, don't call her, I'll take him to my apartment. I don't have to be at the school until noon tomorrow."

Raphael stated.

"Okay, well then I will come over when I'm done. I just have to witness the interrogation." Olivia stated.

"Okay, I will see you then," Raphael stated.

Noah had woken up during the conversation and heard every word, and he started to cry.

"I want mommy." Noah started his tears streaming down his face, and he wiggled to get down.

Raphael still wasn't out of the church and Noah was in the floor, he attempted to pick him up to get him out of the way but struggled for a second and sat him back in a pew he knew multiple people already had eyes on him and the strange boy, he had brought into the building.

"Noah mommy is just going to be a little bit, and you can come home with me, we can watch out the windows some more," Raphael explained.

"I want mommy to tuck me in," Noah stated once again, he wasn't crying, but he was upset and had his arms crossed.

People were standing around like it was a drama on TV playing out, and Raphael hated that his personal life was suddenly on display. He stayed calm.

"Come home with me and mommy will be over to get you."

"Can the 3 of us have a sleepover at your apartment," Noah asked.

Raphael blushed knowing that they were in the back and everyone in the vicinity had heard him.

"That's up to your mommy mijo, until then will you come with me, and we will look out the windows and you can stay up as late as you want." Raphael stated.

The words seemed to help Noah, and he agreed to take Raphael's hand and go home with him.

Lucia didn't say anything about the mini-meltdown Noah had. She was completely surprised by the way Raphael handled it. She knew he hated attention focused on him outside of work and was surprised he didn't get mad at the little boy making a scene. She knew then he loved the little boy and his mother.

Father Mathew looked on at Lucia, Raphael, and Noah and smiled, he didn't question anything and thanked them for attendance. He knew a little bit about Raphael's life thanks to his mother but was surprised to see a little boy with them. He knew he would hear soon enough and let them go into the night.

Raphael dropped his mom off and went back to his apartment with Noah in tow. His eyes lit up as he saw the lights from boats, and people below still out in the park. He curled up in the window seal and watched out the window. Raphael sat beside him, and Noah once again climbed in his lap.

"I'm sorry I got mad about mommy, I know she is catching bad guys," Noah stated.

"I know its important for you to have her tuck you in, and it's okay to be upset when it doesn't happen." Raphael stated.

Noah was yawning.

"Why don't you lay down in my bed, and I will wake you up the moment your mommy comes home," Raphael stated.

"No, I want to wait for her," Noah stated.

"Okay." Raphael stated.

He sat there and stared out the window wondering what could be so bad Olivia had to go in on her day off and what was something Fin couldn't handle. He knew he would find out soon enough, but he was worried that she was somehow in danger.

Olivia Benson sat at her desk, going over the information her detectives had received and to say she was sick was an understatement. No one said anything as she puked when she saw the pictures because Fin was the only one who didn't when he saw the images himself. It was the worst trauma she had ever seen and had to ask what certain images were even showing. The man who did it was in interrogation room 2.

"Give me a second with Fin please." She stated.

"You okay." Fin asked.

"Yeah, not the way to I wanted to start my week," Olivia stated.

"I know, I just didn't trust myself to not go kill the bastard myself." Fin stated.

"Yeah, I can understand that," Olivia stated.

Olivia watched as Amanda went in and asked for the details, they knew he was the perp it had already been established, but he had claimed "he blacked out" and denies remembering doing anything to the small body she had pictures of on her desk. She knew they would have to interview the mother, who originally called 911, Fin had talked to her for an initial statement and told Olivia he didn't believe she had anything to do with it. That was good enough for Olivia for now.

After 2 hours the man refused to give any more details, they already had enough to charge him for child abuse resulting in death, but the rape charge would have to wait as they built the case. Olivia wanted nothing more than to forget about the night and wrap Noah tightly in her arms and never let him go.

He was taken to jail for the night, and Olivia knew this case, even though they knew who the perp was known, will be long and drawn out. Proving motive for charges was going to the issue she had. Right now, she couldn't even think about the story that she had been given. She walked out, promising to be there first thing in the morning. It was 11 pm, and she was grateful she would at least get to Raphael's before midnight.

She pulled into the garage and cut the engine. Taking a deep breath, and she let herself cry. She knew she shouldn't be crying over a child she never met, but this was sickening. This was going to be a case that made her contemplate retiring early. She knew she had to get justice for this little girl and her siblings and possibly her mother, she hasn't figured out her end of the story yet, and she hoped that she didn't play a role. She let her final tears fall. She took a deep breath studied herself and realized Raphael will notice the red nose and rimmed eyes, but she couldn't be apart from Noah any longer. She walked towards the apartment and knocked on the door.

Raphael opened it surprised by the look on her face. He instantly hugged her, and she allowed the tears to flow again. Raphael didn't say a word.

"You okay?" He asked.

"No, but I will be. Where's Noah?" Olivia asked.

"Currently managing to take up my whole king size bed." Raphael laughed.

Olivia smiled at that, glad he was okay.

"Would it be a problem if I stayed here?" She asked, feeling dead on her feet.

"Not at all Noah even suggested it." Raphael stated.

"Do you need anything before going to bed?" Raphael asked.

"Something to wear to bed," Olivia stated.

"I can do that," Raphael stated.

Olivia got dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants. She scooted Noah to the edge and wrapped him in her arms. Raphael did the same to Olivia, and they fell asleep.

A/N:Just wanted to let you know you will get the story behind why Olivia is so upset. This is a ripped from the headlines if you will. This is based on something that happened near where I lived about 1-2 years ago. I am embellishing but barely… it was the worst crime I have ever heard of my whole life, and I couldn't imagine having to investigate it. The man in real life was sentenced to life in prison just so you know.


	10. Drinking the case away

Monday morning came, and Olivia felt like she hadn't slept at all as if she had blinked, and now it was time to wake up. Olivia shut off her alarm, and seen that Noah had gotten in the middle somehow, Raphael was on the opposite edge about to fall off, and she no longer had her arms wrapped around Noah and was on the opposite end of the bed. The alarm woke up Raphael as well, but Noah stayed in the middle of the bed.

"I got to get going," Olivia stated and changed back into her outfit from the night before, allowing Raphael to get a view of her before she left.

"I'm taking him home; Lucy will have him. I know you have a lot to get done." Olivia rushed.

"I do Liv, but just because I have things that need done if you need anything, you know you can call me, right?" Raphael asked.

"I know. This case it's going to be rough, I'm sure it will hit the news tonight, and I don't want to be alone." Olivia sighed.

"I'll come over tonight," Raphael stated.

Olivia just nodded her head. She woke Noah up, and he was ready to start the day. Raphael poured her a cup of coffee in a travel mug, She thanked him with a lingering kiss and dropped Noah off before going into the office.

Unlike most cases, while searching for the perp, they knew who it was. Carasi had been in the office all night running background checks exploring social media, getting everything he could think of to see if this man they picked up last night had a past. There were past drug charges he had ultimately gotten out of and one DV charge when he was 19 he was 32 now and the last ten years, he had a clean record.

"Go home Carasi, I'll call you if we find anything," Olivia stated.

"I'll be honest I don't know if I can go to sleep," Carasi stated.

"Go to the cribs, then try to rest. I know when I have had hard cases staying here, just knowing I was in the building would give me enough courage to fall asleep, if we get any more details, I promise I'll wake you." Olivia stated.

"Thanks, Leiu, I'll see you in a few hours," Carasi stated.

"Take all the time you need," Olivia stated.

Olivia walked over to the pinned-up photos holding back the gag she couldn't the night prior.

She looked at Fin who tacked up a new tweet that said something about young girls she didn't entirely understand.

"Okay, from the beginning, what do we know?" Olivia asked.

"Mom Mary Johnson went out to get groceries; she left her three kids Julie (2) Sandra (4) and Landon (5) with her boyfriend of 8 months, Steve Butler. When she came back to the home, Sandra and Landon were upstairs playing, but she couldn't find Julie or Steve. She yelled for them, and Steve came up the basement steps with blood all over him. When she asked what happened, he simply said that Julie was hurt. She ran down the steps to find her whole body covered in blood; she wasn't crying, but she was breathing and had a heartbeat. She called 911, who took the child to the hospital. They performed emergency surgery after she was found to be impaled vaginally, tearing into her stomach and bowel. She later died due to severe trauma and blood loss. Semen was found in her abdominal cavity. Mary knows he did it, but denies he ever said that he did it. Police went to the house after they realized what happened. He was sitting there with the other kids as if nothing was wrong and acted confused as to why he was being arrested. The other kids are with maternal grandma. The kids deny seeing anything but said they heard Julie screaming for a while, but they were too scared to go check it out." Fin stated.

"Alright, any reason to believe mom is in on this," Olivia asked.

"No, but her mother swears that multiple women told her and Mary both Steve was no good." Fin stated.

"I take it you got names?" Olivia asked

"Of course made a few calls before it got to late last night, and making a few more today haven't heard back from anyone yet." Fin replied.

"Okay, where's Rollins?" Olivia asked.

"I think she went home around 2 AM I told her to be here by noon. I hope that's okay." Fin stated.

"Yeah, of course. Make some calls, we need a motive, and we need to prove he had intentions on raping her." Olivia stated.

The day past by in a blur to Olivia once again they were interrogating Steve, who still states he blacked out and had no idea what happened. His lawyer has already indicated that if it goes to trial, he will plead insanity. His bail was set at 1 million dollars, nothing that anyone he knew could pay. He was charged with 1st degree Child abuse resulting in death and 1st-degree rape. If he was found guilty, he would face life in prison without parole, which is what Olivia prayed he got but knew if a deal came forward, he could be out in 20. This was an essentially open, and shut case investigation wouldn't be heavy just interviewing women in his past and talking to family. Olivia couldn't believe that a man was so insistent on getting off he killed a two-year-old by literally ripping her internal organs apart. She was so done with the day.

She walked out to see everyone else doing paperwork.

"I'm sending you all home or out for drinks, whichever you prefer, Stone that includes you!" She stated as she saw the man staring at the dead girls' pictures.

Amanda called her sitter to make sure they could stay late, and soon enough, everyone agreed a drink or 2 was an excellent idea indeed.

It was 5:30 when they made it to the bar across the street, and about 5:45 when they were all on their 3rd drinks. Even Stone was taking shot after shot, and Olivia had never seen the man drink a beer, let alone the whiskey they were all knocking back. The news came on, and of course, the headlines were "Man rapes baby causing death." The bartender put 2 and 2 together, turned off the TV as details were given, and brought a whole bottle of whiskey over.

"On the house," he stated.

None of them talked much until Carasi saw a sports score, and Fin, Stone, and Carasi started arguing about soccer teams. Olivia and Amanda just laughed at them as they continued to fight about the better teams. Water pitchers and glasses were all over the table; there were still drinks flowing but a much slower pace. They were all drunk, and Amanda pointed to the bar a man trying to ask a girl out they were betting what would happen next until the couple caught them, and Olivia quickly put the $30 in her pocket she ended up winning after the guy ordered the girl a drink she didn't like.

Olivia didn't realize how much she had been drinking. She stood up to go to the bathroom but quickly stumbled and fell back into her chair.

"Well if Liv is that drunk, there is no way, any of us can drive home tonight." Fin pointed out.

The five knew Fin was right; he was the soberest of the bunch, slowing down his drinking before the others did. Stone and Carasi were still drinking, but at a much slower pace, He knew Olivia had already had seven drinks in the past 2 hours they had been here, and he had never seen her so intoxicated before. The case all got to them, and he knew it was something they were all desperately trying to erase from their minds.

"Why don't you call Barba to get you?" Fin suggested, and maybe Rollins and Carasi. I'll take a cab, make sure Stone gets home okay." Fin stated.

Olivia looked confused for only a second, and she realized how slow she was to react to Fin's words.

He was right; they all had enough. She suddenly felt terrible for leaving Noah alone to drink and called Barba.

Raphael heard his phone ring and looked at Olivia's number. Lucy was still in the apartment, writing a paper for one of her summer online classes, and he and Noah just had dinner.

"Raf... It's Liv can you come to get me I'm at the Garden Bar, and we drank too much." Olivia yelled in his ear.

He almost laughed until he remembered what he had seen on the 6 o'clock news. He knew that the news barely gave information and knew even without details, it was a rough case.

"Yeah, Liv, I'll see you soon," Raphael stated.

"Hey, Lucy I really hate to do this to you, but can you spend the night?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" Lucy asked.

"Rough case and the team thought alcohol would temporarily make it go away. I'm going to take her back to my place. I know she wouldn't want Noah to see her like that. Raphael explained

"Yeah, of course." Lucy stated.

"Hey, you and Lucy are going to have a sleepover tonight, okay?" Raphael stated.

"Where's mommy?" Noah asked.

Raphael thought carefully about his next words.

"Noah mommy is with some friends from work Uncle Fin, and Uncle Sonny and aunt Amanda. They are really sad because a bad man did something awful. Your mommy doesn't want to come home and see her so sad. She wants you happy, so me and your mommy are going to have a sleepover at my apartment, and you and Lucy are going to have a sleepover here." Raphael stated.

"But I can make mommy feel better," Noah stated.

"I know you can Mijo, but she needs some time right now, she will be here tomorrow, and you can help her then until then you play with Lucy okay," Raphael stated.

"Okay," Noah said.

Raphael grabbed his keys and headed towards the bar

When Raphael got to the bar, the group was a sight to behold. Amanda and Olivia were talking loudly about a cute guy at the corner of the bar, who had to have heard every word. Stone was asleep in his chair, and Carasi and Fin were arguing over the color of the back wall.

Fin spotted him first.

"Sorry, man, it's been rough, and I didn't think." Fin stated.

"Hey, it's alright are you good to take a taxi, can you get Stone where he needs to go?" Raphael asked

"Yeah, man, I think we're good." Fin stated.

Suddenly Olivia noticed his presence.

"Raf, hey, you!" She stated

She walked over to him, her body flush against his, and she was giggling like a child.

"I've missed you," she stated.

"I've missed you," he stated.

Unexpectedly Liv grabbed his head and began to make out with him in the middle of the bar, and suddenly, all eyes were on them, and Amanda whistled. Raphael blushed and pulled away.

"I think its time I take you home," Raphael stated.

Olivia lazily made patterns on with her finger on his clothed chest and nodded her head in agreement. Then suddenly she was thinking about home and Noah, and it hit her.

"No, I can't let Noah see me like this," Olivia claimed.

"Lucy has him. You're coming home with me," Raphael concluded.

"Rollins Carasi, you're coming with me as well." Raphael finished.

"We get to see Barba's apartment!" Amanda screamed and tipped back her seat, causing herself to fall in the process.

Raphael picked up the chair and felt like a mother hen leading three chicks to the car.

Fin and Stone followed him out, and he watched them get into a cab before taking off to his apartment.

Olivia could barely walk through his hallway, and Raphael had a hold of her arm just in case. Amanda and Carasi were leaning on each other as they got to his door.

"Wow, look at that view!" Amanda squealed.

"Isn't it beautiful!" Olivia stated.

The 2 of them clamored over to look out the sun had just set, and the lights had come on. Carassi stood in the window next to it.

"Hey, you didn't have to do this. I should get home," Carasi slurred.

"Do have someone waiting for you?" Raphael asked.

"No nothing like that." he responded.

"Then, you're staying here," Raphael stated.

"Thanks." Carassi states and slid down onto the window seal, no longer trusting his legs to carry the weight.

Raphael looked at the three people in his apartment currently drunk and almost wanted to pour himself a drink to handle the loudness. Olivia Carasi and Amanda were now talking about the apartment once again, and Olivia had made a comment about his office and the fact he said he no longer needed it.

"I'm sleepy." Amanda announced.

Raphael was relieved in a way because he wasn't sure how much more he could keep up with them. Amand flopped on his couch and past out.

"She has a good idea," Carasi stated and sat at the other end of the couch.

Olivia looked at her Two friends and Raphael went into his closet to get extra pillows and blanket for the pair. He also grabbed a trash can just in case and set it near the couch.

Liv went back to looking out over the water.

"Why don't you go to bed," Raphael suggested.

"Nightmares," she stated evenly.

"Would it help if I was there with you?" Raphael asked.

"Probably not but I am tired," Olivia stated.

She walked back to his bedroom. Raphael found the outfit from the night before and handed it to her.

"Mr. Barba is trying to get me out of my clothes." Olivia slurred.

He laughed, and she came to him again this time, at least in the privacy of his bedroom.

She kissed him hard and pushed up against him grabbing at him and reaching down to attempt touching his length, but he moved quickly and said

"Not tonight, Liv." She looked upset but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to let you get dressed, and I will be right back."

Raphael went back out to his kitchen, looking at his two friends still slumped over either side of the couch. He watched for breathing just in case not sure how much they drank, but in 6 years, he has never seen any of them that drunk. He wasn't tired. It was barely 9 pm. He decided against cracking open a law school book. He grabbed his phone, scrolling through the stock market for a minute, and went back to the bedroom. Olivia was sprawled out, similar to Noah the night before, but she was still awake and tossing around.

"Liv, you okay?" Raphael asked.

"Not really," she stated.

Raphael understood and climbed in. She instantly clung to him, and he rubbed her back. She fell asleep shortly after and laid there a long time until he fell asleep.

Raphael woke up to the sound of vomiting and he prayed that in the hungover haze, whoever it was made it to the bathroom or saw the trashcan. Olivia didn't move; she was away from him on the other side of the bed uncovered.

He walked out of his bedroom, to see Carasi holding Amanda's hair back as she puked in the garbage can. He noticed his wall clock said it was 1:30 am.

"You guys, okay?" Raphael asked.

Carasi jumped.

"Well, that explains where the hell we are," Carassi stated.

Amanda groaned and wiped her mouth. Raphael got them both a glass of water.

"What happened?" Amanda asked.

"I came in on the tail end of it all, and brought you guys and Olivia back here," Raphael stated.

"All I remember is going to the bar and drinking a lot something about soccer and cute guy at the bar," Amanda stated.

"Yeah, you and Liv gave that man a complex." Raphael laughed.

Amanda blushed, and Carasi looked away, not wanting to hear what Raphael was saying.

"I should get back to Jesse." she stood up but bent down to puke again."

"You don't want her to see you like that; she's already asleep; let's just stay here and sleep it off," Carasi suggested.

Amanda nodded, and when she was done, leaned back into Carasi.

Raphael didn't say a word about the situation, he reminded them where the bathroom was and said to knock on his bedroom door if they needed anything. Raphael covered Olivia and pushed into her side, wanting to feel her close to him. He put his arm along with her hand and was surprised when she grabbed it and pulled it around her. He readjusted and fell back asleep.

The next morning came he was up early it was 5:30 am, and he wouldn't be going back to sleep he had nowhere to go and decided to cook breakfast for the 4 of them before they would rush off and change clothes before headed back to the office. He took a quick shower and got dressed in jeans and polo. He put on a pair of socks and walked out to the kitchen. He luckily went shopping on Thursday and had bacon and eggs in the fridge. He began to cook and heard Carasi move. He looked over Amanda was still in his arms. Raphael knew there was something up with them but wasn't sure if either of them were ready to face it. He watched as Carasi realized the world around him, and he carefully slipped out from under Amanda, who readjusted but didn't wake up.

"Hey, thanks again for last night," Carasi stated.

"We're friends. It was a rough case; you're always welcome here." Raphael stated.

He nodded his head and went to the bathroom and then offered to help Raphael with breakfast, which he was sure he had under control. He waited for the food to be done. Carasi's phone rang.

"We got something?" Carassi asked.

"Oh, okay, I'll let everyone know. Thanks. Yeah, we're all fine, yeah, bye." Carassi followed up.

"Apparently, Dodds has stated we all need to take a day Liv included," Carisi exclaimed.

Raphael put the food in the oven to stay warm and begrudgingly started a book he needed, too, but Carasi kept asking about his professorship, and he didn't even get through the 1st page. Finally, Barba hissed an annoyed sigh, and Carasi stopped. Raphael attempted to read, but his mind was on Olivia and the case that had been too much.

"Hey, I know you don't want to talk about the case, but is Liv gonna be okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, it was just a punch to the gut, you know, I don't know how any sicko would do that to a baby," Carasi said.

"The news didn't give to much away, and I felt sick," Raphael mentioned.

"I think the worst was the pictures, and I will never be able to get those out of my mind." Carassi cringed.

Raphael just nodded and heard movement in his bedroom, he looked at the clock it was 7:30 am

Olivia came rushing out.

"Wheres Noah?" she asked quickly

"With Lucy at home," Raphael stated

Olivia sighed.

"Sorry about last night," Olivia stated

"It's fine, come get breakfast," Raphael stated.

Amanda stretched about this time and looked around, remembering where she was walking over to the bar. Where they all grabbed a plate and ate. Carassi told the good news of a day off, and everyone was visibly relaxed. Carassi and Amanda took a taxi back to the 1-6 to get their cars, and Olivia insisted on getting back to Noah so Lucy could go home.

"I'll be over tonight," Raphael stated and kissed Olivia goodbye. He was once again alone and walked over to the window to watch the water before cracking open the book and attempted to start intro into law school.

Olivia got home Lucy was on the pull out asleep, her laptop still on and three books opened all around was 8 am, and she knew Noah would be up soon. She was exhausted, and her head pounded, so she took some aspirin and laid on the bed with the door open so she would hear Noah come out from his room. Olivia fell asleep before that happened and the next thing she knew it was 10 am and Noah was snuggled up next to her he was awake she could tell, but he was trying hard to let her sleep.

"Hey, my sweet boy, mommy's sorry she didn't come home last night," Olivia stated.

"Raphael said that you were sad and didn't want to make me sad," Noah stated.

"He was right mommy was really sad about the case, but I have the whole day with you today so we can be happy." Olivia stated.

Noah was excited and jumped on the bed in delight. Olivia's headache was gone, and she laughed as he hopped around on the bed.

"Careful," she said as he stepped over her and jumped down to the floor.

"It's time for breakfast!" He yelled.

Lucy woke up to Noah's yelling and looked around to see the books and laptop and the ¾ written paper and Olivia looking at her mess.

"Sorry, Liv." Lucy blushed.

"Don't be. Stay as long as you need, but I have the day off, so you are free until tomorrow morning." Olivia stated.

"This is due by the end of the week, only four more pages to go, so I think I am going to head home," Lucy stated.

"Thanks for staying last night," Oliva said.

"No problem, is everything okay, with the case and you?" Lucy asked.

"It will be." Olivia stated.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," Lucy stated and packed up and left the apartment.

"Can we go to the park today?" Noah asked.

"Of course, sweet boy," Olivia stated.

"The one by Raphael's apartment?' Noah asked."

"How about in the afternoon and we can surprise Raphael, he is working at home right now," Olivia stated.

"Okay," Noah stated.

Olivia filled the day with reading to Noah and playing shoots and ladders. They played a game of Monopoly Jr. and watched the Disney channel for a bit. It was almost 3 when Olivia told Noah to get his shoes on. They went to Raphael's apartment building but went out to the park. Olivia sighted the area he could see from his window and called him.

"Liv?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, hey, look out your window," Olivia stated.

Raphael was confused but looked out and around, and then he spotted her and Noah waving at the window.

"Can you handle to break from a book, Noah insisted he checked out your park." Olivia laughed.

"Of course. I'll be right down." Raphael stated.

Raphael came down and gave a tour and pointed out the playground on the far corner of the park. Olivia and Raphael sat down on the bench, watching Noah play, and talking to some other kids. Raphael snaked his arms around her shoulder and had her lean into him.

"How far have you gotten for your class?" Olivia asked as she kept an eye a Noah.

"Ahh, it's going. The book is made by the university, about concentrations. Then there is an into a book in NY law, which luckily for me because I've already read it." Raphael stated.

"Are you still nervous about getting everything done, I haven't even asked you about anything I'm sorry," Olivia stated.

"It's fine, I'll get there, being in front of a group of 20 somethings is what has me nervous now. I was sitting in the back of the classes today, just watching what she was teaching what she was doing. I was learning for her class, her classes would have genuinely helped, and apparently, at least 1 of her classes is required for all law students, so there is that. " Raphael stated.

"Good I'm glad your taking it all in, but is this what you really want?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, it is," Raphael stated.

"I'm glad you're happy," Olivia stated.

"Are you happy Liv?" Raphael asked.

She frowned and looked over at him and took a minute.

"With you, yes, with work overall, yes, but right now, no, but I will get there, the sooner we get to trial the happier I'll be," Olivia stated.

"You think Stone got it?" Raphael ask.

"We still have some investigation to go, but yeah, I think so," Olivia stated.

"Good." Raphael smiled, and this time he leaned back into her and watched as Noah and a new friend he made was seeing who could hold on to the monkey bar the longest.

It was fast approaching dinner time, and Olivia insisted on Pizza that she admitted she craved at least once a week. Raphael agreed and ordered from his favorite place. They walked back up to his apartment, and Noah ran to the windows people watching.

"I don't think he'll ever get over that view," Olivia stated.

"Neither can I." Raphael stated as he stared at her."

She blushed, and he reached from behind her and snaked his arms around, holding her.

"I love you." He stated.

"I love you, thanks for taking care of me," Olivia stated.

"That's what I'm here for," Raphael stated.

"But it shouldn't have to be that way, and I'm not used to it," Olivia stated.

"Well get used to it, I am sure it will come full circle, and one day you'll do the same," Raphael stated.

Olivia smiled and pulled on Raphael to walk with her towards the window, where they all stared out until the pizza came.


	11. Needs

Olivia was stuck doing paperwork. Raphael had been trying to figure out precisely what his intro law school class would be, and although he had texted Liv and talked to Noah almost every night, it was currently Thursday, and he had missed seeing them. He knew he wanted to spend every second he could with them. No one in the DA's office has contacted him since he left. Rita had reached out, and a few other friends, but Rita had her own life, and if he had to admit it, Noah and Olivia were all he had. He knew he would make new friends at the law school. He felt like a ten-year-old thinking that way, but right now, it was only them, and it made him yearn to be with them even more.

Raphael quickly messaged Olivia checking if it was okay to meet her at her apartment, and of course, she agreed.

He only had to be with his newfound colleague Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, she only had two classes in the summer, and one started at noon and the other at 3 pm. She was accommodating and explained to him after the class how she decided to do notes, the fast pace of summer classes opposed to fall and spring semesters. She had been a professor for 15 years, and it showed. She tried to warn him of traps she fell into and told him that he will be shocked by how close he will get to some students. She told him that there is still a student she follows from 10 years ago and a girl who is now working in Congress for mental health reform. She mentioned another student from 5 years ago who works at Bellvue and another student from 2 years ago who just went on to get her doctorate. Raphael wasn't sure if he'd have the same relationships maybe, with time, but this first year, he just needed to prove to himself and the rest of the law school he could do it.

Raphael packed an overnight bag, not wanting another night alone, and went to the apartment. It was only four and knew he would meet Lucy at the apartment. When he arrived, Lucy and Noah had been building legos.

"Still no key?" Lucy stated.

Raphael didn't answer her.

Lucy looked at him and bit her lip for a second.

"Can I ask you a question?" Lucy asked.

"You just did, but go on," Raphael stated.

"Well, you know this is my last semester undergrad, and I am going to grad school after this," Lucy stated.

"Well, I have been seeing James for a while now, and I would like to be able to spend more time with him," Lucy stated.

"So you want to tell Liv your quitting?" Raphael stated.

"NO! No, I was just wondering do you think it would be too much to ask, if when I am with Noah if James comes around, not here, but the park, or when I have Noah, at my house. I know Liv would want to meet him first, but I don't even know how to broach the subject." Lucy admitted.

"Have you told Liv how serious it is between you and him?" Raphael asked.

"No." Lucy stated.

"Do you think it's he's the one?" Raphael asked.

"I don't believe in stuff like that," Lucy stated.

"You're the hopeless romantic trying to get details of our love life, and you don't believe there is a person out there for everyone?" Raphael asked.

"Nope, I think there are several, and sometimes you happen to choose someone who comes along in your life early on, and sometimes later on. Sometimes things don't work out, and it's no one's fault. Sometimes you are with the right person, but it's the wrong time. I think if you want to make it work, you will no matter what with whoever you are with." Lucy stated.

Raphael contemplated her thoughts for a moment and thought back through serious relationships and he didn't think any of them held a candle to Olivia.

"Sorry, have to disagree," Raphael stated.

"So you're saying that if you never met Olivia, you wouldn't eventually find someone else who you would want to be with." Lucy asked.

"Well I am not saying that, I am just saying things are different with her." Raphael stated.

"Things are different in every relationship, I don't think there is a perfect someone you have to make it work." Lucy stated.

"I'll agree with you there. If Olivia and I weren't friends for so long, I would never even believe she would even bat an eye at me." Raphael stated.

"Olivia had her eyes on you a long time, Raphael," Lucy stated.

Raphael's jaw dropped.

"What do you mean?" Raphael asked.

"Nothing, I shouldn't have said anything," Lucy stated.

"No, tell me." Raphael stated.

"Nothing, it's just Olivia talked about you all the time, even when she was with Ed. She would talk about you. You know she would choose you over him a lot." Lucy stated.

"We were busy; we had to talk about cases a lot," Raphael stated.

"No, she lied to him a lot, and I've seen her with you she was and is a lot different around you," Lucy stated.

Raphael wasn't mad at Lucy, or Olivia just mad at himself with what could have been, and they could have been doing this for a long time now. But he shook the thought out of his head, he was here now, and that's all that matters. Lucy walked away, and Noah asked Raphael to join them in lego building.

"Just talk to Liv, she trusts you if you trust James she'll at least entertain the idea," Raphael stated.

"I hope so." Lucy stated.

Noah was building a lego tower when out of the blue he said

"I wish you were here to build legos every day."

Raphael felt his heartache because he wanted nothing more than the same thing. How do you explain to a six-year-old that you want that but can't give it to him right away? Raphael didn't say anything, so Lucy took the lead.

"You know how you wish mommy was home all the time, but she's out catching bad guys?" Lucy stated.

Noah simply nodded.

"Well, Raphael is going to teach people how to keep the bad guys in jail, and he is working really hard, so he makes sure they learn what to do so the bad guys can go away for a long time," Lucy stated.

"But that doesn't mean he can't live with mommy and me," Noah stated.

Raphael's heart clenched again. Technically the little boy was right, but without missing a beat, Lucy came back and said.

"Maybe one day you'll all live together, but right now, your mom and Raphael need to get to know one another better, and they both have apartments they have lived in for a long time. Think of your two favorite toys, and then being told you could only keep one, it could take you a long time to decide which one to keep, right?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, forever even," Noah stated.

"Exactly, think of it like that your mommy and Raphael both like where they live, and if you guys moved in together, one of them would have to pack up everything and move to the other place, or find a totally different place together. It takes a long time to make important choices, and if they make a choice too quick, it could be the wrong one." Lucy stated.

"I guess that it's okay then," Noah stated.

Raphael smiled and lipped, "Thank you." to Lucy.

Olivia walked through the door to see all 3 of them on the ground with legos everywhere.

"Mommy!" Noah screamed and ran to her.

"Hey, sweet boy." Olivia hugged him back.

"Mommy I went to the park today, and Lucy wants to know if you'll meet her boyfriend James." Noah shouted.

Raphael couldn't help but laugh, and Lucy turned beet red.

"Well, I guess that's one way to ask," Raphael stated.

"I'm sorry Liv, I didn't know he heard me." Lucy stated.

"So James, huh, that's who it is who has you out on the weekends." Olivia teased.

"Yeah, We've been seeing each other for about nine months now." Lucy stated.

"Lucy, why didn't you say something sooner," Olivia asked.

"I don't know I wasn't sure if it was that serious until recently, and I don't want to bring someone into the rest of my life if I'm not sure where it's going," Lucy stated.

"Well, I appreciate that," Olivia stated.

"So you're wondering if he can come over and hang out when you're here." Olivia asked.

"No, I wouldn't do that, just if Noah and I were at the park or going for lunch." Lucy stated.

"Well, you guys pick a time, and I would love to meet him," Olivia stated.

"Mommy, what's for dinner?" Noah asked.

"What do you want?" Olivia asked.

"Can we have hamburgers?" Noah asked.

"Of course." Olivia stated.

Lucy packed up her stuff and left, Raphael followed Olivia into the kitchen and helped her as Noah continued building a tower taller than him in the living room.

"Noah asked why we don't live together today," Raphael stated.

"What did you say?" Olivia stated.

"I didn't know what to say. Lucy saved the day," Raphael stated.

"How am I supposed to answer that when I ask myself the same thing," Raphael stated as she pulled her close him.

She dropped the spatula at his confession. Her whole body tingled as he put his lips on her neck. Her heart was racing, and if Noah weren't in the living room playing, she would have already been all over him. She moaned in pleasure, and Raphael continued, but knew the little boy in the living room was more intuitive then he realized and stopped picking up the spatula and getting Olivia a new one before the burgers burnt.

Olivia couldn't imagine either one of the moving into each other's apartments. Olivia and Noah's was too homey for Raphael Barba, and Raphael even though he had more space and the "spare room" which he had cleaned out since getting the NYU professorship, it didn't seem quite right yet. Maybe it was an option, but right now, that was a lot at once, so she stared down at the burgers trying to focus her whole mind at cooking them and would let her mind wander to that future another time.

Dinner was ate, and Noah had talked them into letting him stay up late to watch America's Got Talent, it didn't go off until ten, and they weren't sure he would make it to the end, but sure enough, his lids started closing as soon as the credits showed.

Raphael tucked him in, and Olivia was waiting outside the door.

"Rafa…" Olivia whispered.

Raphael was on immediate alert. Her lips instantly on his. Her hands all over his body a desperate need that she had been patiently waiting for, and Raphael was willing to allow her to do whatever she wanted with him.

Raphael was pinned up against Noah's closed door. He was praying that the latch was secure because all of his weight and hers was up against it. They were impossibly close, and Raphael felt as if they had melted together, and the shivers he felt as fingers grazed all over him was enough to make his knees go weak.

"I missed you." He stated.

"More than you know," Olivia stated.

"No, It's pretty clear." Raphael laughed.

She smiled back, and shoved him, playfully turning away from him.

He followed her into the bedroom. Olivia was taking her clothes off all at once. Raphael was desperately trying to keep up with her, but all the buttons got in the way. She teased him as she lay on the bed on full display not helping one bit with the buttons he was stumbling over, and she knew he wouldn't dare rip one, it was his favorite silk shirt, and so she just laid there holding back the urge to rip them off herself.

When he was finally bare, he joined her on top of the covers, neither one hiding from one another it was sensual, the lights were on, and it wasn't romantic, it was just pure need of one another. Olivia didn't want to waste any time. She pulled him on top of her and pulling him close touching him as if she did in the hallway, and she was all over him kissing where ever her lips could touch, touching where ever her fingers could trace and greedily bucking her hips in want of the man who was currently on top of her.

Raphael was inside of Olivia in record time, and her warmth instantly did him in. This was the 2nd time he had been with her, and it was different that the first this was raw and needy and he knew she needed him just as bad as he did her, and this time it was fast, and unforgiving and felt intense. It was almost over as fast as it began. Both breathing in deeply moaning in pleasure and when Olivia finished right before Raphael, he had never heard a deeper moan come out of her mouth and that's what sent him over the edge. He instantly rolled over to his side of the bed after he was finished, but neither wanted to lose the warmth, and face to face they stuck their whole bodies together despite the sheen of sweat that washed over both of their bodies they stayed there another half hour until they agreed on a change of bed sheets and a shower was a good idea.

They were both tired and didn't even acknowledge each other in the shower, they both washed themselves knowing that this late on a weekday would spell disaster if they started touching each other again. Olivia got out first and wrapped her robe around her as Raphael thought about how lucky he was to enjoy the view, let alone share the bed with her. He scrubbed the soap out of his hair and changed and put on his clothes before helping Olivia with new sheets and laying back down.

Olivia had her arm wrapped around his torso, and he felt so many things at once. He felt happy, he felt needed, and most of all, he felt love. Something he had thought was a bit of a lost cause on him before her. He was thinking about his future, and every time he did, he pictured Olivia and Noah in it. Then he got thinking about the both of them, and he was overthinking like he tended to do he suddenly realized he didn't even know Olivia's birthday, or Noah's for that matter. He didn't know what her favorite restaurant is or if she wanted more kids. He didn't know a whole lot of her history, and his heart raced, and breath quickened, and suddenly, he felt like he didn't know Olivia at all and how she didn't know him either. He tried to breathe through the panic attack he was having. Knowing he could easily remedy the situation in time, he made a plan; plans calmed him down. So he thought he would call Lucy and give her quadruple pay if needed. All he wanted was to sit down and learn everything there is to know about Olivia Benson. Raphael fell asleep feeling confident in his plan.

Morning came slowly, and for that, Raphael was thankful. Despite the minor panic attack, he had gotten himself some rest. He seemed to sleep better next to Olivia. Olivia's alarm hadn't rung he looked over to see it was only 6:30 and she had another hour before her alarm went off he turned over finding her on the edge of the bed, and laid his arm across her side his and against her thigh and drifted back to sleep.

Raphael heard the alarm but didn't want to let Olivia get up, he wished they could stay that way forever, but knew that they couldn't. He let her turn off her alarm but reached over towards her; she turned overlooking at him, she reached towards his face and rubbed it.

"Morning Rafa." Olivia stated.

"Mmm morning." Raphael stated.

"you sure you can't take a sick day?" Raphael asked.

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Raphael thought about last night and looked at her, she instantly knew he wanted to ask her something he wasn't entirely comfortable asking.

"What is it Raphael?" Olivia asked as she rubbed his arm.

"Can we have this weekend together, just you and me?" Raphael asked.

Olivia thought about it for a second it would make Lucy work two weekends in a row, but she couldn't deny she has been thinking the same thing herself.

"Lucy will be here soon, ask her," Olivia stated.

Raphael nodded his head, Olivia turned over to go, but he stopped her.

"I have to get ready," Olivia stated.

"5 more minutes?" Raphael asked.

"You're impossible," Olivia stated.

"You didn't say no." Raphael pointed out.

"Five," Olivia stated.

Raphael pulled her close, and she couldn't deny the warmth she felt when he was beside her. She relished the time she had with him. After about 10 minutes she knew if she didn't start getting ready, she would be late, so pulled away, and Raphael let her go. He got up and got dressed for the day, excluding his jacket tie and suspenders, and walked out once again, making breakfast and deciding on french toast.

Lucy came through the door at 8 am, and Raphael set down a plate of french toast for her.

"What do you want?" She asked jokingly.

Raphael lost his breath for a second.

"This isn't a bribe, but… " Raphael stated.

"Your want to actually cash in on your weekend that I gave you weeks ago but didn't follow through with." Lucy finished his sentence.

"In not so many words," Raphael stated.

Lucy smiled widely.

"Yeah, of course." I have things I need to do tonight, but I can be over anytime tomorrow.

"How about 5, I want to take Liv, to dinner," Raphael stated.

"That can be arranged," Lucy stated.

"We'll be back Sunday evening." Raphael stated.

"Maybe I'll introduce Noah to coffee over the weekend." Lucy stated.

"You wouldn't." Raphael stated.

"Well, with lots of milk and sugar, I can see it being his new favorite drink." Lucy laughed.

"He's our kid. He will be addicted soon enough." Raphael stated.

Lucy stared at the man, and he was confused why. What did he say that had her looking at him like that.

He thought back 'He's our kid.'

Lucy smiled when it hit him what he said his mouth opened and shut like a fish.

"You know Liv and Noah would love to hear you say that." Lucy stated.

"It just feels like this is all moving so fast," Raphael stated.

"It is, but it isn't you've known Olivia for six years and Noah for 5. You are making up for the lost time. He loves you too. And Olivia would want nothing more than a daddy for Noah. She knows you're it." Lucy stated.

"I don't know Lucy, I want to believe that more than anything, but its a big step. I won't just walk out him, and if this doesn't work out, I don't know what I'd do." Raphael confessed.

"Sounds like you and Liv have a lot to discuss this weekend," Lucy stated.

"That we do." Raphael agreed.

He continued making enough french toast for Olivia, Noah, and himself. Olivia I didn't walk out to long after the conversation ended with Lucy.

Olivia ate happily and smiled when Noah walked out of his room before she left for the day. She hugged him goodbye. She kissed Raphael and said she would try to be home by 6. He pulled her close once more before she headed to work.

"You're too cute," Lucy stated.

Noah seemed preoccupied with his breakfast to make comments of even realize what Lucy was discussing.

Raphael blushed.

"Glad your not an English major, I have a feeling you'd write a romance novel based on the two of us." Raphael stated.

"You don't need an English major to write a book," Lucy stated.

"Great, now I've given you an idea." Raphael joked.

Lucy had a paper she had been proofing for her childhood development class and had it in her bag by the floor, she pulled it out to tease him, but for a moment he thought it wasn't a joke his eyes went wide. She said.

"Its the first chapter."

Raphael's mind took longer than it should to process the joke, and his heart stopped for a second until Lucy giggled and threw him the paper, something to do with the history of child development.

"Not funny." Raphael simply stated.

Raphael had decided he should go into his office a little early he still had a lot of work to do. He watched a cartoon with Noah for about an hour, and finished getting ready and was about to head out the door.

"Why do you and mommy both have to work?" Noah asked.

"Well, most adults work to make money so that they can take care of their self, and their family," Raphael explained.

"Well mommy worked before you started coming over all the time, and we were fine, why can't you just stay here with me?" Noah asked.

"Well, mommy loves you, but she loves her job too. She's helping other people. She makes money at a job she loves so she can pay for this apartment, and your clothes and your food, and for Lucy to take care of you. I have my own apartment, and I have to pay for all my suits and the windows overlooking the water, they aren't cheap." Raphael explained.

"I just really miss you and mommy when you're not here," Noah stated.

"I know mijo and mommy, and I miss you a whole lot too. I will be around the same time, mommy comes home, and we can do whatever you want." Raphael stated.

"Okay, I love you," Noah stated.

"Oh, Noah, I love you too," Raphael stated as he hugged the little boy close. Tears were threatening to fall, and he said goodbye to Lucy and walked out the door wondering how on earth the little boy could say just the right thing to make him crumble.

When Raphael walked through the door, Noah was excited to see him and told Raphael this excellent plan Lucy had come up with to kick him and Olivia out of the apartment for the weekend so they could eat ice cream for breakfast, and watch the scary show on tv that mommy would say no too and they would even go to the M&M world to get candy.

Raphael laughed.

"Well, don't tell your mommy of those plans she might just say no, it will be our secret." Raphael stated."

"Okay, but you got to get mommy out of here when Lucy comes Saturday," Noah stated.

"I think I can manage that," Raphael stated.

Olivia walked through the door with groceries deciding salad would be right on the hot day for dinner. Lucy left, saying she would see them tomorrow evening, and Olivia got to work cooking some chicken breast to top their salad. Noah didn't tell his mom about all the cool things Lucy promised him. He took a bath and went to sleep without a fight. Raphael and Olivia glued themselves to the couch, both excited for the prospects of tomorrow.


	12. Weekend Pt1

A/N: I just want to say this is my favorite chapter so far. I am pretty far ahead right now and I have a few more major plots in my head, but still, don't have a perfect ending. Thanks for all the reviews and follows!

Raphael was shocked when Olivia kicked him out of the bedroom after he got ready for their date. She insisted he wait for her out in the living room. Lucy would be there any minute, and Noah was excited for his weekend plans climbing all over Raphael, wrinkling his dress shirt to say he didn't mind wasn't exactly accurate, but if climbing all over him made Noah happy, he was delighted. Lucy walked through the door , and Noah ran to her.

"We're going to have SO MUCH FUN!" Noah squealed.

"That we are Noah." Lucy stated.

She looked over at Raphael on the couch.

"You are wearing that on your date with Olivia?" Lucy asked.

"It's my best suit, Lucy!" Raphael insisted.

"They all look good, but you need to lose it," Lucy stated.

"Excuse me!" Raphael asked.

"The place you're taking her does it require a jacket?" Lucy asked.

"Well, not entirely , but it's to be expected," Raphael stated.

"Lose it, I'm serious," Lucy stated.

"What now your taking fashion design?' Raphael asked.

"Trust me," Lucy stated.

He begrudgingly took it off.

Lucy smiled.

"Trust me again?" Lucy asked as she walked up next to him.

He shook his head, yes.

"Take off your tie unbutton, your shirt, the top 2 buttons." Lucy requested.

Raphael did as he was told.

"Can I?" She asked she went to mess with his hair.

"yeah." Raphael agreed

She just loosened the tightness of his comb marks. It loosened his hair; it didn't make it look messy just a little more casual.

"There. Go look, you look more relaxed, but still perfectly suited for your date." Lucy declared.

Raphael went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror.

"Damnit," he said out loud.

He must have said it louder than he thought because he head Lucy giggled.

"You're right, and to be honest, I feel better, too," Raphael stated.

"Just relax, it's you and Liv," Lucy stated.

"I know." Raphael stated.

Olivia came out of the bedroom, in a navy dress, it had a sweetheart neckline and flared at her hips hitting right on her knees she was wearing gold flats, and had a matching clutch. She had an overnight bag in her hands. Raphael looked surprised as did she at his wardrobe adjustment.

"Ready to go?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Olivia replied.

Olivia and Raphael said goodbye to Noah, hugged them, and seemed content to spend the weekend with Lucy. Raphael took Olivia out to Le Coucou. Olivia loved the gesture and got the filet. He had gone with sea bass. She loved Raphael, but his world of yacht sailing and skiing wasn't hers, and him taking her to Le Coucou reminded her of his upscale taste. Not that she didn't dream about it when she was a little girl, but she was 50 now, and some of the things he enjoyed she never even dreamed were obtainable. They didn't talk much. Raphael seemed nervous for some reason, and Olivia was taking everything in.

Olivia focused back at Raphael, who was staring at her.

"What's wrong Raphael?" Olivia asked.

"I don't even know if you like French," Raphael stated.

Olivia laughed, "I love it." Olivia stated.

"I know just last night, I..." Raphael trailed off.

"You what?" Olivia asked.

"I thought about how long we've been friends and known each other, but I don't even know your favorite color," Raphael stated.

Olivia looked at him a second her face softened.

"We'll get there. I sure hope the color blue isn't a deal-breaker for you." Olivia stated.

Raphael laughed. "I like green more." He stated.

Olivia smiled, and he visibly relaxed.

They made small talk the rest of the time Raphael asking easy questions trying to open up not wanting to anything too serious to come up, they had all night, and they both knew it.

"What's your favorite dessert?" Raphael asked.

"Cream Brulee'" Olivia answered,

"Damn, they don't serve that here," Raphael stated.

"Well I already have my second favorite." she said, reaching for his hands across the table.

Raphael gave her a smug grin. They ordered their food, forgoing dessert, and heading back to Raphael's apartment.

They walked through the door, Olivia, and Raphael instantly walked over to the windows. She sat between his legs and leaned into him.

"Thank you for tonight. I think we both needed this," Olivia stated.

"Thank me after the couples massage I have booked tomorrow at 2," Raphael stated.

Olivia tensed. She remembered the discussion but didn't think he was serious.

Raphael felt her tension.

"Sorry, Liv, if it's not what you want, I can cancel," Raphael stated.

"No, I do. It's just the scars. I know I'll have them forever, and I should just get over it." Olivia stated.

"You can leave the sheet on," Raphael stated.

"Okay." Olivia stated.

"Okay." Raphael kissed her temple, and she relaxed back into him as they looked out over the water.

"Raphael, I don't know how to ski." She started suddenly.

Raphael was confused for a second and realized that he has taken a lot of ski trips the past few years. Olivia was suddenly worried in the middle of June about a trip to the mountains.

"I'm getting too old for it, it's hard on the knees," Raphael stated.

"You're not old you're just trying to make me feel better," Olivia stated.

"No really, the last ski trip I took I vowed would be my last. I couldn't walk right for three days. It doesn't mean I wouldn't take you and Noah up to the mountains. He would love to go tubing. Can you ice skate?" Raphael asked.

"I think its a requirement if you live in Manhattan to at least go to Rockafeller center at least once in the winter," Olivia stated.

Raphael laughed. "Not sure on that one, Liv, but I won't deny you," Raphael stated.

"I've never been a Yacht." Olivia stated.

"You've never been on a boat?" Raphael asked.

"I didn't say that I said a Yacht," Olivia stated

"Same difference, just a fancy word for rich people. You'll be my plus one next time I get invited by one of my friends." Raphael stated.

"Raphael, you know all my friends, they're your friends too, am I even going to fit in with them?" Olivia asked quickly.

"Liv you act like I was brought up in the Hamptons or something, You've been to my mothers, I grew up there. Yes, I like a lot of nice things, and I have been grateful for friends and my paycheck and the fact I've been single my whole adult life to get what I want generally. That doesn't mean we're from different worlds. Liv, you made more than me the last three years I've known you I know most of it goes to for things for Noah, and you have to pay Lucy, but you can take care of yourself, you need to choose what you want to do." Raphael stated.

Olivia knew she never let herself come first, and at 50, she wasn't sure she knew how to do that. She shook her head, knowing he was right and let her thoughts cease about their differences.

"Noah would be jealous to know we're looking out your window right now," Olivia mentioned.

"Yeah, I know." Raphael started thinking back to the little boy's question yesterday.

"I'm not saying now or even next year, but why don't you live here?" Raphael asked.

"I do love this place almost as much as you," Olivia stated.

"Noah does too." Raphael said, hoping it would help his case.

"I know, but it would be a big change. Besides, where we would go when we wanted time to ourselves?" Olivia asked as she turned to kiss him.

"You have a point," Raphael stated. As he smiled and kissed her.

Olivia started unbuttoning his shirt, her hands rubbing over his chest. He kissed her neck, and she couldn't help but moan out. She wasn't loud but Raphael heard her, and he moaned in his own pleasure, remembering there was no need to be quiet without Noah running around. Raphael had his hands under the back of her dress, rubbing her back. She reached for his suspenders, rubbing them up and down a few times, making sure her knuckles scraped across his nipples. His breath hitched and found a new appreciation for them. Olivia simply pushed them off his shoulders. She was working on his belt next.

"Jesus, Rafi, why so many obstacles?" Olivia asked.

He laughed and swiftly took his belt off and unbuttoned his pants.

"Why are you fully clothed?" Raphael ask.

"Easy access." Olivia states as she guided his hands up her dress.

He grabbed her hips and pressed them to his, and he started to push her, hardback her into the wall.

"Don't push me!" Olivia stated firm and loud.

Raphael immediately froze.

"Sorry, Liv in the moment, I wasn't thinking," Raphael stated as he let go of her.

She looked back in his eyes and his fear and frustration.

She took a second to collect herself.

"Hey, it's okay. I can't be up against the wall, and I know I do it to you, so it's okay that you thought it was okay, and sometimes it is, just not now. It's hard to explain." Olivia stated.

"It's okay, just tell me what you want," Raphael stated.

Olivia took a deep breath, reset her focus. Raphael no longer had a hold of her, so she leaned into him.

"I want you," Olivia stated.

"You have me, Liv." Raphael confirmed.

She kissed him hard, and he reset his hands, pushing up the side of her dress. He was playing with the hem of her underwear. Dipping his fingers to touch her bare bottom. He put his arms at an awkward angle to try to get to her front, and Olivia couldn't help but laugh.

"You know you don't have to break your wrist. We can go lie down," Olivia stated.

Raphael blushed. He took the lead to the bedroom. Olivia took her shoes off, pulled her underwear down, running to catch up with him. He didn't notice. Raphael sat on the bed, suddenly unsure of the next step. He had to admit he was still a little wrapped up in his miss-step, but now was not the time to discuss it. Tomorrow morning he would, but he was giving her tonight whatever she wanted to do, and he would allow her to take the lead.

Olivia walked up to him smiling, capturing his lips quickly, He smirked with his feet still on the floor he leaned back his back laying on the bed, he grabbed two pillows to prop his head up. She now had her knees on the edge of the bed. She pushed his pants, and he slid them down along with his boxers, jealous she was still fully clothed. He tried to unzip the dress, but she playfully slapped his hands away.

He took the hint. She was touching and rubbing playing with him, to the point he was so hard, it hurt.

"Liv, please." He begged.

She smiled and nodded her head. She stroked him a few times, touched the tip of his penis to her wetness, and was shocked by the lack of fabric between them. Raphael couldn't help but try to pull her down further on him. She smiled at him as he held her, making sure she wouldn't fall back, and the feeling was incredible. This was very different, and Raphael wasn't complaining.

"You got me?" She asked.

Raphael fought through the fog, trying to figure out what she was asking, his hands were around her, and he nodded.

Olivia leaned back slightly creating a new angle finding new pleasure for both of them. Raphael heard her moan out in pleasure loudly, and he loved it; he wasn't exactly quiet either, but he was sure that Olivia's moans were enough to do him in. He felt her tighten around him, and he couldn't breathe, and he was utterly overwhelmed by her. He was tugging on her dress he's not really sure why or how it will help with his release, but she doesn't say anything, and suddenly, he feels himself spill into her, and she slows down and stops, sitting on top of him. His legs hurt, but he doesn't care, and he takes his time to catch his breath. Olivia smiled at him and kissed him hard. Raphael knew she had a good time but hadn't quite finished.

Raphael bounced his legs, and she took as an indication that she had put to much weight on him. Olivia rolled towards the bottom of the bed.

"Liv, that was..." Raphael was still trying to catch his breath.

She giggled. She liked that she could get that big of a rise out of him.

"I know you didn't finish, can I help?" Raphael asked.

"Please," Olivia asked.

"Can the dress come off now?" Raphael asked.

She smiled and stood up. Turning her back so he could unzip her, he unhooked her bra, she let the dress fall to the floor and shugged the bra off turning to face him. From the bed's height, he was staring at her stomach and he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He released her and shuffled in the bed allowing her to climb in beside him. He touched her all over, paying attention to her breasts, running her fingers down her stomach feeling her muscles contract. Her legs were slightly open already, and he slid his hands down her thighs. He sat up, she looked confused, but he was getting in a comfortable position. He laid his head down her chest and took a nipple in his mouth, and she instantly bucked her hips in the air. He had been touching anywhere and everywhere except her folds, and she was getting tired of it, so she touched herself, and Rapheal huffed and smiled at her allowing her to finish herself as he took the other nipple in his hand. It didn't take long before Olivia had pushed his hand downwards. He looked at her a second.

"Inside." She demanded.

He put a couple of fingers, and she instantly groaned, and Raphael kept pushing harder and harder, and she screamed out in pleasure and felt herself stop her movement. He pulled his fingers out, smiled, reaching for him, kissing his lips, and then moving down to his pulse point.

"Let's do it again," Olivia stated.

"Liv, you're going to have to give me a minute," Raphael stated breathlessly.

"I don't need one." She stated.

"Oh Mi amor vas a ser la muerte de mi." He stated. (My love you're going to be the death of me)

"Lo sé," she responded. (I know)

For a moment Raphael just laughed. He knew that Olivia Benson was full of surprised, but her response in Spanish was too much, and he pulled her close kissing her lips, giving himself the time he needed to recuperate.

He lay there roaming her body, every so often lightly picking a nipple or swiping at her upper thigh. She would shudder in pleasure. He smiled at her, and they weren't really talking but just enjoying the time. When Raphael felt he was ready to go again, he asked Olivia, he could be on top.

"Yeah." Oliva stated.

He hovered over her, and sat upright so he could enter and touch her at the same time and she was hypersensitive at his touch at this point, and it didn't take her long to finish her second orgasm of the night, He pulled himself down closer to her not pressing himself on top of her. He reentered her and couldn't help but feel the slickness making him want to push harder and faster, and she let him. Her legs were high on his back, he didn't realize how fast he was going until he hit his head on the headboard. He didn't stop, though, and Olivia didn't look upset and continued has a quick pace and felt himself let go for the second time that night.

Liv looked up at him wide-eyed, and for a minute, he totally thought that he screwed up, but she was breathing hard and smiling.

"Sorry Liv, you okay." He asked.

"I'm fine, but I'm sure you hit your head hard enough for a concussion." she stated.

"I don't know what got into me." Raphael stated.

"I think you're the one who got into me." She stated.

"Sorry if that's going to hurt in the morning." Raphael stated as he rolled over.

"worth it," she stated.

The night was still young, and the sun had just gone down. It was about nine, and all though what they did wore them out, they weren't tired.

Olivia had to admit she wanted nothing more than a hot shower, but they were still laying in an afterglow.

"No offense, but I feel gross." Olivia stated.

"What if we take a nice hot bath, I'll grab a bottle of wine, and we can relax.

"Mmm, that sounds perfect."

Raphael got up out of bed and pulled on his boxers.

"Get the water comfortable, there are some robes in the closet pick whichever one you like." Raphael stated.

'Robes as in more than one' Olivia thought.

She shook her head. She went to the closet, a walk-in as she figured and the front left there were six different robes. A white terry cloth, a black terry cloth. One that, she checked the label on and was, in fact 100% silk. One that was very thick made of fleece and the other two were cotton. Olivia felt the silk one moment but decided against it a grabbed the white terry cloth, knowing it would be the most useful. She slipped it on and went to the bathroom to find a vast tube hiding in it. When Olivia and Noah spent the night, she never noticed. It had jets a button in the corner to turn them on. She set the tap feeling the water she liked it hot but remembered Brian had mentioned how he wasn't sure how she didn't get burnt by the water. Olivia made it only slightly cooler than she wanted. Raphael came back in a robe of his own with a dessert wine; it was sweet and smelled like berries. He poured a glass, and the 2 of them waited till the water was over the jets. Raphael put his foot in.

"Did you even turn the cold water on?" He hissed, immediately turning the cold all the way on and pulling it back out.

"I actually made it cooler than I normally would." Olivia stated.

He sighed, and turned the cold back ½ way, and put his foot in again. Oliva dropped her robe went in and sunk into the warm water while Raphael stood in front of her, not sure how her skin wasn't bright pink in a first-degree burn. He took another deep breath and got in, setting down their wine on the wine. On the edge of the tub.

Olivia took a sip and leaned back. There was enough room the 2 of them could stretch out there legs. Raphael pushed the buttons, and for a fraction of a second, the water was cold due to the air but instantly warmed back up and Olivia was putting her legs up next to the jets.

"Mmm maybe we should move in." Oliva stated.

Raphael laughed.

"So a nice bath and you'd just move into any old place?" Raphael asked.

"Pretty much. The wine helps too" Olivia stated back.

"Liv, I'm sorry about earlier, and I know it's not easy to talk about, but is there anything I shouldn't be doing?" Raphael asked.

"Yes and we should have had the conversation before any of this started, but I'm tired of having it." Oliva stated.

Raphael just looked at her for a second.

"Maybe writing it down would be more helpful." Raphael stated.

Olivia gave it some thought.

"Yeah maybe but then it feels like its set in stone, and I don't want it to be." Olivia stated.

"One day it might not always be like this, but for now, it is, and I hate that, but I know there are things I'm still working on." Olvia stated.

Raphael just shakes his head.

"Can we continue this discussion tomorrow. I just want to enjoy this." Olivia asked.

"Of course." Raphael stated.

Olivia took a large sip of wine and closed her eyes, leaning back, allowing herself to float.

Raphael didn't say anything again, until he asked if it was okay to add bubbles.

Olivia shook her head, and whatever the scent she wasn't familiar with, but it was comforting. She felt the mix of soaps and oils on her skin, and she sighed in relief.

She finished the glass of wine she noticed the number of bubbles it was more than she thought and she giggled.

"Noah would absolutely love this." Olivia stated.

She grabbed up a wad of bubbles and blew the at Raphael.

"I say we keep this bathtub a secret then, or you'll be moving in by the weeks' end." Raphael warned

She laughed, knowing it would be true.

"Come here." Raphael stated. Olivia turned and leaned back into him. He rubbed her shoulders and down her back.

She leaned into him feeling his skin and loving the melding of the two. Olivia rubbed his legs; they sat there in comfortable silence. When the water finally cooled, Olivia and Raphael got out, putting on their robes. Raphael changed the bedsheets, and the two lay comfortably in bed, falling asleep before either noticed.


	13. Weekend Pt2

A/N: I have a lot of this written already. I hope you are still enjoying write a review. I hope to update more often; this is a longer chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Sunday morning came slowly and Olivia relished the fact she had a decent night sleep. She was still in a robe. They had both been in bed, she was still barely awake when he asked her a question that made her heart pound and her brain hurt.

"Liv can I be Noah's dad, can I adopt him?"

Olivia just sat there she knew Raphael had been thinking about this for a long time. She let the tears stream down her face. She knew Raphael would never leave him, maybe her but never Noah. After several minutes of no response, but Olivia not moving, he looked over to gauge her reaction.

"Liv, say something," Raphael stated.

"I know you love him, and that's enough, but as much as you want it, Noah needs to want it too. I'm not saying he doesn't love you he adores you sometimes I think more than me, but that's a big step Raphael." Olivia stated.

"I know." He replied.

"I don't know how to broach the subject, but I'll look into it." Olivia stated.

"You know if he doesn't want it, it will hurt, but it wouldn't change us." Raphael stated.

"But it would, in some way, it would Raphael, even if you don't want to think it. We will cross that bridge when we get to it." Olivia stated.

Raphael nodded his head.

Olivia relaxed into him.

"Wish we could relax like this more often." Olivia stated.

"Wouldn't that be nice I feel like I'm on vacation." Raphael stated.

Olivia disagreed. "If we were on vacation right now, we wouldn't be doing this," Olivia stated.

"How do you know?" Raphael asked.

"Because Noah would be with us, and we would be awake going to a museum or aquarium or on a hike or something because my kid doesn't know the meaning of sleeping in." Olivia stated.

Raphael laughed.

Olivia loved his laugh so much, and kissed him deeply. The fire ignited, and she wanted nothing else to be on top of her him. She slowly inched her way, and before Raphael knew what happening, she was dry, humping him pulling on his shirt, and he couldn't say no.

"Liv, I thought we were talking before this again..." he warned.

"No time. Maybe after." Olivia stated as she took off her shirt, exposing herself to him. He reached up to touch a nipple, which he found was an Unconscious decision. She moaned out and quickly

undressed herself and Raphael. He wasn't sure what had turned this into having sex, but he wasn't complaining. Olivia wasn't rough but faster than he thought, and he met her pace and wondered where she had been all his life because he had been missing out. When they were both done, Raphael let out a sigh, and Olivia complained of being hungry.

Raphael reached over in bedside drawer and handed her a bag of pretzels.

"You keep snacks for all the girls that come by." Olivia asked, jokingly.

"Those are mine. I don't just pass them out to anyone I see," Raphael stated.

"I know you don't like to share your food," Olivia stated.

"A small sacrifice if it keeps you with me," Raphael exclaimed.

"It's a tick in the right direction." Olivia laughed.

After they had both got there breathing back to normal, and their heart rates went down Raphael dressed in his boxers and t-shirt and went to the kitchen to find what he was going to call brunch.

Olivia quickly rinsed off dressed back in her pajamas and joined him.

She found him making sausage and eggs.

The two of them ate in peaceful silence and slipped over to the window watching the day go by.

"This is better than a movie." Olivia stated.

"Better then the Bachelor?" Raphael asked.

"Damn I'm behind!" Olivia stated.

Raphael rolled his eyes but kept his arms wrapped around Olivia in the window. They didn't sit there too long before Raphael admitted he had a few things he wanted to get done before Monday rolled around, and he wanted to stay late if not overnight with her and Noah tonight. Raphael handed Olivia the remote and told her with his video on demand she could watch the bachelor.

It was 2:00 pm, and Raphael realized he and Liv needed to get ready to go. Olivia couldn't deny the nerves but knew it would be fine. They got into his car and drove several blocks to 32nd st.

"You've vetted this place, right?" Olivia asked.

"What do you mean." Raphael asked.

"This isn't some human trafficking place, is it?" Olivia asked.

"NO, Liv, I know there are plenty, but I checked it out." Raphael stated.

Olivia got out of the car and followed Raphael in.

"We haven't seen you here in a while, Mr. Barba." The receptionist claimed.

"Yeah some things came up." He stated.

"I saw the news; I know not to believe what flashes across that screen or what's printed. I am sorry you had to go through that." The receptionist stated.

Olivia opened her mouth, shocked at the kind words.

"I appreciate that." Raphael stated.

"Well I'll let Dominque know you're here, and I see you brought a friend Lori will be with you guys as well." The lady stated.

Raphael sat down in the waiting room that had plush leather chairs, and Olivia fell back in one as well. They only waited a minute before Dominque came greeted him like an old friend, then hugged Olivia as well

"Well the one Olivia Benson in the flesh, I was beginning to think you weren't real." Dominque laughed.

Raphael blushed deeply, and Olivia couldn't believe that Raphael had a conversation with his massage therapist about her.

They walked back into the room that Olivia instantly relaxed in the smell itself instilled calmness, and the colors in the room were subdued.

"I'll let you guys undress. "take as much or as little as you want off Olivia. Lori is great." Dominque stated.

Olivia nodded her head.

Olivia chose to wear long boyshorts as she would wear under a dress hiding her thighs but took the rest of her clothing off. Raphael draped the sheet over her and proceeded to undress fully. Olivia had her head down and couldn't see him. Which he was a bit happy because her staring at him would have done him in, and he didn't want to explain the erection to Dominque.

He had laid down and draped the sheet over himself. Raphael and Olivia began talking about the rest of the day.

Dominque and Lori walked in, and Lori and Dominique explained what they were doing as they did it, and Olvia felt as she melted into the table. Lori was getting muscles. She didn't even know she had was losing the tension in them, and she felt like jello. She never knew feeling like jello would feel so good, but she knew why Raphael came here twice a month, and she was ready to add this on her things-to-do list and clear her calendar of anything standing in the way.

When Lori and Dominque were done, they explained that the couples massage included a 30-minute bath soak and listed about 30 different combinations of salts and oils that could be used and then they would have a 20 minute facial and 10-minute face massage.

By the time everything was done Olivia was half tempted to ask if there were any apartments nearby for rent because she could live there. Everything felt wonderful, and she was happy to be so relaxed and headed home to see her boy. Raphael had a similar relaxed look and drove to her apartment.

Lucy looked up at Olivia and Raphael as they walked through the door. It was a little bit before five, and she and Noah were eating a cinnamon roll watching the Goosebumps movie. Olivia knew it was kid orientated but was worried Noah would have nightmares. She didn't say anything, though. Lucy stated she had a wonderful time with him and that she had spoken to James, and Wednesday night would be an excellent time to meet if that was possible. Olivia agreed she would attempt to leave work on time. Raphael said he could meet them after that class concluded that afternoon.

Lucy stated that she would let them know where soon, and she packed her stuff up, ready to go home and enjoy the rest of her Sunday night.

"We'll see you in the morning," Olivia stated, and Lucy left.

Olivia cooked chicken for dinner, and Raphael, and she both listened about all the things that he and Lucy did together. Both could tell that Noah was excited to talk about it, but he was also exhausted he said Lucy let him stay up late last night, but he even woke up early this morning. After dinner, Noah's eyes drooped, and it was too soon for him to be tired, but Olivia tucked him in read him a story, and he was in bed before 7 pm.

Olivia and Raphael sat on her couch, but her phone rang. She looked at the call; it was Amanda.

"Rollins?" Olivia asked.

"Hey, Liv I was just wondering Jesse is demanding a play date with Noah and I have this Tuesday off; is that okay?" Amanda asked.

"I'm sure Noah will be thrilled." Olivia stated.

"Well I will see you tomorrow. I didn't want to ask last minute." Amanda stated.

"You know you're always welcome," Olivia stated.

"Yeah I know, have a good night." Amanda stated, and with that, Olivia closed her phone.

Raphael looked at her, and when she explained, he simply nodded his head.

"So are you ready for our next appointment with Lori and Dominque?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah can you set that up for tomorrow, and then again on Tuesday and Wednesday." Olivia asked.

"I wish I know you work this weekend. Give Lucy the weekend off and I'll take care of him; then, next weekend, see if Lucy can take him for a few hours that our next appointment." Raphael stated.

"Yeah I will talk to her. I can't believe she has seen James for 9 months and never said a word." Olivia stated.

"I think it was for Noah's sake, she loves him and wanted to see where this James guy panned out." Raphael stated.

"9 months seems like a long time to not say something." Olivia commented.

"Maybe, she told me a little bit about him the other day." Raphael confessed.

Olivia wasn't exactly shocked but didn't know Lucy and Raphael had more than casual conversations.

She Just nodded her head. Olivia and Raphael filled the evening, talking about the upcoming week. Olivia still stonewalled him on discussing sex even though she knew it was a conversation they needed to have. She promised they would have a conversation soon. Raphael fell into a fitful sleep that night, Olivia waking up several times with his tossing and turning. She was tired of him always trying to butt in . She knew he was trying to help, but she found it annoying, and she was mad; she wasn't getting a decent night's sleep.

Olivia was up before Raphael woke up, and Lucy was already there. It was 9:30, and he felt like shit. He knew Olivia not wanting the conversation got to him last night and the fact that he feels like he has a lot to get done with his classes. So he rushed around with a short shower and getting dressed for the day he was hoping to get some time with Noah, and he had about 30 minutes before he needed to head out.

"Everything okay?" Lucy asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Raphael asked.

"The look on your face, your stressed, and the fact Olivia rushed out of here this morning." Lucy noted.

"It will be fine." Raphael reassured her.

Raphael sat with Noah talking to him about the cartoon he was watching and what he was going to do with Lucy that day.

"I love you mijo." He said and gave Noah a big hug before leaving for the day.

Raphael met professor Dome in the classroom and talked to her as always after presentation class. She had went over the presentations and how she decided to grade them. She went over the ins and outs of the midterm grades. She had been showing him the online computer system to put up homework and the syllabus and all the other needed things for the year, and he knew he would need a lot more help with it. Profesor Dome told him there were classes available next week, but she would teach him as much as she could. Raphael was happy she was taking an interest and didn't just throw him to the wolves.

Raphael went home that day. He was still mad at Olivia and knew that somehow she was angry too. He hadn't meant to push her, but he just needed to know what she needed from him, and he knew that it was a sensitive topic, but none the less an issue they needed to discuss. He didn't want to make her more upset, so he went ahead and called like he usually did on nights they weren't together.

"Benson," she answered. Raphael wasn't sure if she didn't check the ID, or she said it because she was mad.

"Hey just me. How was your day?" Raphael asked.

Olivia sighed, she had been mad, and she knew he knew she was upset.

"It was alright." Olivia stated.

"I wanted to let you know I still have the intro class I need to work on and I don't know if I'll see you before dinner with James." Raphael stated.

"That's fine," Olivia stated.

"Is it?" Raphael asked.

"Right now yes, it's fine." Olivia stated.

"Liv, I'm sorry if you felt like I tried to push you into a conversation you're not ready to have, but we put the cart before the horse. I am not saying that's your fault I am saying it happened and now we're here." Raphael stated.

"You don't think I don't know that? I'm sorry that I don't want to think about how screwed up I am because of Lewis, and other past issues, I'm sorry I just want to leave it in the past and can't. Every time I think about it, I don't know if I can even be touched again. I'm sorry that a few weeks ago, we had a baby dead because some psyco thought it fit to penetrate a one-year-old and rip her and half. I'm sorry I can't have sex every time you want to because I can't deal with my own issues." Olivia stated quickly but quietly, so Noah wouldn't hear her.

"Liv, that's not how I feel. I know this is hard." Raphael stated.

Raphael could hear her crying, and was already walking out the door to get to her apartment.

"Liv?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah." She asked

"I'll be over soon." Raphael stated.

"No, don't you have a lot on your plate? We can talk later."

"Talking later got us in this argument; besides, I didn't get a lot of time with Noah this morning," Raphael stated as he got into his car.

"Okay, we'll be here." Olivia stated.

She hung up. She hadn't refused him to come over, so he took it as a good sign. He parked on the street, walked up to the apartment.

He knocked lightly Noah still should be up but just in case.

"Hey," Raphael started giving her a half-grin.

"Hey." She stated back.

"Are we okay?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully.

"Where's Noah?" He asked.

"In his room playing. You can go see him." Olivia stated.

Raphael went into the little boy's bedroom. Noah was surprised to see him.

"I thought that mommy said you wouldn't get to be here for a few days." Noah stated.

"Yeah that's what I thought, too, but sometimes priorities change, and I need to be here right now." Raphael explained.

"What are priorities?" Noah asked.

"Well priorities are what the most important things to you are, you and your mom are my top priority." Raphael stated.

"Mommy is upset today." Noah stated.

"Yeah, she is," Raphael stated.

"Is that why you came over tonight?" Noah asked.

"Yes and the fact I didn't get much time with you this morning." Raphael stated.

"Will you make mommy feel better?" Noah asked.

"I'm going to try." Raphael replied.

"Why don't you and me and your mom go cuddle on the couch and watch something on TV?" Raphael stated.

"Can we have ice-cream? Noah asked excitingly.

"That's up to your mom," Raphael stated.

Noah went out to be with his mom, and Olivia snuggled tightly to her little boy. She had relaxed as they watched SpongeBob on the TV. It was getting late, but Olivia was trying to delay the inevitable and let Noah watch cartoons until he fell asleep on the couch. It was 9:30. Raphael carried the little boy to his room. Olivia walked in, kissed the boy's forehead, and they closed the door.

"Raphael. I really don't want to do this right now." Olivia stated.

"Liv, I know that I know this is a conversation you don't want to have and I am not asking for everything tonight. I am asking to keep moving forward." Raphael stated.

"I don't know if I can right now." Olivia stated. She felt the tears falling down her face.

"Okay, Liv fine! just call me when you want to talk." Raphael stated.

He got up to leave tears falling down his face as he heard Olivia cry out in a sob. He wanted to be able to walk out that door and stomp down to the car, but he couldn't. He turned around.

Olivia not able to catch her breath as she tried resisted to urge to scream out.

Raphael came hugged her tightly, and she clung to him.

"Liv, I love you, but you need to breathe." Raphael stated.

Olivia shook her head yes and agreed to try to take breathes in through her nose and out of her mouth.

His tears were falling, but he wasn't crying. He was afraid for her. He was worried that she was going to give this up. Her grip had lessened, and her sobs stopped. She still was wrapped around him, though, and getting strength by his comfort.

"Rafa, can we go lay down? I can't talk to you about all of it tonight but I'll talk." Olivia stated.

Raphael got up and followed her to the bedroom. He had some clothes there already he took off his shirt and grabbed some pajama pants. Olivia was already dressed for bed and got under the covers. Raphael's bare chest was comforting as she laid her head on it, not able to look into his eyes. She drew shapes on his chest and stomach as she started the conversation.

"I thought that with you, things would be different," Olivia stated.

Raphael tensed at her words.

"Lewis isn't my first run-in with someone going after me. Lewis was the worst by far, and you know that story. I still have nightmares, especially when we get a perp who had done something similar or throws their arrogance. Sometimes when we catch someone, and the jury comes back not guilty, I get a twist in my stomach wondering if they will be the next person to come after me or someone else I love. " Olivia stated.

"You know I watched what he did he raped her and killed her, I can still hear the screams sometimes." Olivia stated.

"Sometimes, after I'm done with sex, I feel guilty. Like its not something I should enjoy." Olivia stated.

Raphael was putting his hands through her hair and just kept listening.

"I've never felt that way with you." Olivia quickly added.

"I just sometimes can't get things out of my head," Oliva stated.

She took another deep breath.

"I hope this isn't a deal-breaker, but I can't regularly have oral sex with you," Olivia stated.

"I was sexually assaulted at Sealview 8 years ago, and I still have some issues." Olivia stated.

Raphael stopped when he heard the words sexual assault, not sure what she meant by it.

"Liv, what happened?" Raphael asked.

"Long story short, Fin and I were undercover I was prisoner he was a guard. There was talk about staff sexually abusing and even killing inmates. I went in with Fin, for a long time he was the only one who knew what happened. Harris, a CO there told me I was causing a riot I thought he was taking me solitary, but he took me into the basement to rape me. I tried to getaway. I ended up cuffed by the door. Fin had attempted to find me and couldn't. Right before he stuck his penis in my mouth, Fin opened the door." Olivia stated.

"What happened to him?" Raphael asked.

"He was charged with the rape and murder of an inmate." Olivia stated.

"You never?" Raphael asked.

"No. I didn't want anyone to know." Olivia stated.

Raphael continued to put his hands through her hair.

"I know it was a long time ago most of the time it does not affect me no baring of my day to day life but other days especially when I've been in a relationship I realize how fucked up this all is and how is it that someone could stay if I couldn't even..." Olivia stumbled off, stopping the thought.

"Hey don't think like that Liv, I already told you, you're enough." Raphael stated.

"But am I?" Olivia asked.

"Is it fair to you that it took me over a week to even think of sex as an enjoyable activity after that little girl?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, it's fair to me because if you're not getting any enjoyment, I'm not either. This goes both ways. I want you to be happy and comfortable doing whatever we're doing." Raphael stated.

"You know anything overly dominating is out." Olivia asked.

"Figured as much, but to be honest after becoming an ADA with you, my tastes have changed I can't say I'm into that either." Raphael stated.

"You can't just surprise me either, by starting to grab at me touching me, coming up from behind." Olivia stated.

"Okay" Raphael stated.

"Please don't call it making love, Lewis..." She stated but didn't finish her comment.

"That won't be a problem." Raphael stated.

"And if I looked panicked touching my face isn't helpful makes it worse. Just call out to me." Olivia stated.

"I can do that." Raphael stated.

"For now, that's the big things," Olivia stated.

"Alright Liv, thanks for talking to me." Raphael stated.

"I feel bad you already have a lot on your plate, and I shouldn't burden you. I'm sorry you came over here. You're so far behind, and that's on me." Olivia stated as she moved over to her side of the bed.

"It's on me. I have all day tomorrow. I have a few hours between professor Domes classes to read, I don't think she will mind me working during her classes. She is doing presentations this week, so there isn't a lot going on. Besides, you and Noah come first, and I don't want you to think you are second fiddle to work." Raphael stated.

"Thanks for being here." Olivia stated.

Raphael smiled and kissed her. It was needy and yearning, it was to ensure Olivia that he loved her.


	14. Amanda Visits

Olivia was officially exhausted after the conversation. She had to admit she felt better, but the images she had conjured up in her mind wouldn't allow her to sleep. Raphael attempted to get her to relax, but she couldn't. He felt terrible about bringing it up but felt better having another piece of the puzzle that was Olivia Benson.

Morning came, and Raphael had slept in. Olivia knew Amanda was coming to get Noah at 8:30 AM. She had drug herself out of bed with little sleep. She made coffee and took a quick shower dressing for the day. Noah had woken up just before Amanda and Jesse knocking on the door. Olivia smiled at Amanda and Jesse. Amanda smiled for a second, then frowned.

"Is everything okay, no offense, but you look like shit." Amanda stated.

"Yeah… Hey Noah, why don't you show Jesse your new dinosaurs." Olivia asked.

"Okay!" Noah stated and drug Jesse into his room.

Olivia drank her coffee, and took deep breaths knowing Amanda would understand, more than anyone, she would know where Olivia was coming from.

"You know how Raphael is, once he gets something in his mind…" Olivia stated.

Amanda just slowly nodded.

"I'm an idiot and thought he would be just like Brian or Ed." Olivia started.

Amanda had no idea where Olivia was going with this, so she stayed silent waiting for her boss to tell her what was happening.

"After Lewis Brian didn't push. He didn't really ask anything but told me he was there. He was there when he could be and took a long time for anything to happen between us, but it did, and he let me do whatever never questioned it. When I asked him to stop or told him I couldn't do something, he would say okay. I know it frustrated him, but he never asked why or tried to help me through it. Then with Ed, he treated me like I was made of glass for the first few months. I had tried so hard to get over my past that I let him do whatever he wanted, we had a few issues, but I usually held back telling him anything other than the fact I couldn't let him pin me down or corner me. He let me lead most of the time, and when I didn't, he didn't care too much about how I felt. Not that he ever did anything I didn't want, I never said no, I never told him to stop it's just sometimes he was very one-sided." Olivia stated quickly.

"Now with Raphael, I know he cares, and he has thought about it. I told him we had to have a few conversations before anything happened, and we did, but you know one thing leads to another and before I knew it, we were sleeping together, and I never told him certain things, and on two occasions, he scared the shit out of me. Of course, he wanted to know why, and how to fix it. He wanted to know what happened so he wouldn't hurt me again and insisted we discuss it. So needless to say, after our conversation last night the past ten years of my life has flashed before my eyes." Olivia stated.

"I'm sorry Liv, why don't you take a day and come out with us. It will make you feel better." Amanda stated.

"I know, but I really need to get on the Muchin case. Maybe I'll take off early when I'm done with the paperwork." Olivia stated.

"Okay just let me know, and we can meet up somewhere." Amanda stated.

"Sounds good, Coffee?" Olivia asked.

Amanda nodded.

Raphael heard giggles, and it woke him up. He wished he could sleep more, but he looked at the clock, and it was already 8:45. He groaned and scrubbed his face he hadn't slept well in the past two days and has since piled up a large amount of work he needed to get done for his classes. He stood up and smelled coffee wafting from the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen, forgetting that Amanda and Jessie were coming. He still didn't have a shirt on and blushed when he saw Amanda in the kitchen.

"Morning Barba," Amanda stated.

"Liv can we talk a second?" Raphael asked.

Olivia could see the sleep deprivation in his eyes as well and nodded, taking his hand and leading them back into the bedroom. He quickly got a shirt on and got dressed for the day.

"I didn't mean to make you have a horrible night's sleep, and I know you're still upset with me. I want you to know that I didn't do it to hurt you." Raphael stated.

"I know it's just a lot to think about at once, I can compartmentalize all this pretty well but once the damn breaks its always a flood of emotion and I can't be in control, and I hate that I can't be in control of it." Olivia stated.

Raphael hugged her tight and rubbed her back.

"You know you can call and talk to me about however your feeling whenever you're feeling it." Raphael stated.

"Yeah, I know," Liv stated.

She glanced at the clock, knowing she was going to be late.

"I really need to get going," Olivia stated.

"Please, Liv, don't close me out," Raphael stated.

"I'll try not too," Olivia stated.

She kissed his lips lightly. She walked back to Noah's room. He was still playing with Jesse; she told him goodbye and said she would be home as soon as she could. She said goodbye to Amanda and walked out the door. Raphael came out fully dressed this time with the coffee in his hand.

"Hey, Liv told me about last night, you know that took a lot out of her," Amanda said.

"I know, I just can't be wondering every moment if I am doing something wrong, I don't want to constantly retraumatize her," Raphael stated.

"Don't you think she would tell you if you were," Amanda asked.

Raphael looked at her and didn't say a word.

"Look Olivia trusts you more than she did Brian or Ed, or probably any other guys she's needs to give her some credit," Amanda stated.

"I know it's not just her," Raphael stated.

"You don't trust yourself around her?" Amanda asked.

"Not entirely, I'll save you the details, but I went all out, wasn't even thinking the other day, and I know it wasn't the most comfortable feeling for her…"Raphael trailed off.

"So it got a little rough it happens, did she stop it or tell you no?" Amanda asked.

"Well no, but," Raphael stated.

"Did you ask her if she liked it?" Amanda asked.

"No," Raphael stated again.

"What if that's what she is into and now you questioning, it makes her feel bad because maybe she thinks she shouldn't," Amanda stated.

"I never, I guess it's possible," Raphael said as he rubbed his neck.

"Has she said anything about it?" Raphael blushed a deep red when he asked.

"We're not that close Barba, but I am willing to bet if she didn't like it, she would have told you," Amanda stated.

"Yeah, okay, maybe it's my turn to talk," Raphael stated.

He finished his coffee.

Noah was, and Jesse both said they were hungry.

Raphael smiled.

"Let me make breakfast then I really need to get started, or I'm going to have 55 undergrads with nothing to do but twiddle their thumbs and go on law school tours for the whole fall semester," Raphael stated.

"You don't have to. I was planning on taking them for pancakes." Amanda stated.

"No need. I'll make them some." Raphael stated.

He searched through the cabinet and found chocolate chips. He mixed the batter and poured it in the pan.

Noah sat on the stool patiently.

"Are you coming with Jesse and Aunt Amanda?" Noah asked.

"I am so sorry, Mijo, but no, not today. I have a lot of work to catch up on, but I will see you tomorrow night with Lucy and James. When school gets back and session, I will have a lot more time just you and me, okay." Raphael stated.

Noah seemed excited about the prospect. Amanda was happy that Liv had someone for Noah but wished she could find someone for Jesse. She knew she could take care of her on her own, but it would be nice to have a strong man in her life too. She watched as Raphael continued to interact with Noah and Jesse. Jesse was a sticky mess with chocolate all over her face and hands. She was reaching out to Raphael for another pancake and stuck her chocolate, syrupy hands all over his shirt.

Amanda was about to yell at her when Raphael did nothing but laugh and give the girl another pancake. Noah Benson had changed him. If this was last year, she was sure he would have immediately taken it to the dry cleaner and expect her to foot the bill. Barba asked her a few questions about work and home, nothing overly personal. He made sure Noah scrubbed his face and hands from the sticky substance and helped Jesse with her mess. Amanda was impressed. They were walking out the door.

"Rafa, can we show Jesse your park one day?" Noah asked.

"Of course, but today isn't the day. You be good for aunt Amanda, okay. I need to go." Raphael stated.

He put the dishes in the dishwasher and made sure the door was locked behind them

AN: I know this is short but will update soon, maybe even later today, if not Saturday there will be an update for sure.


	15. Meeting James

Here is another short chapter. I hope you enjoy.

Professor Professor Dome's class ended early, and she went over the next parts of the course and asked Raphael if he felt he was missing anything or needs any other help from her. He didn't need anything that he knew of but asked her a question.

"I know you work closely with the law school, and I was just wondering, do you know, I mean I only have four classes repeating one of them of course, but how much extra is expected am I going to be at some event every weekend or every evening?" Raphael asked.

"The beginning of the semester and the end of the semester are the worst. I'm invited to a lot but I never have to plan, and I am under no obligation because it's not my department. Usually, you can get away with skipping about 1/3rd of what your department does but starting next year, you'll be required to do law school orientation. It is where prospective students come and visit, it's usually two weekends at the end of the semester and one later on in the summer. There is the faculty Christmas party, but that's friends and family and always a good time. If you aren't in charge of anything, you may be roped into helping out with a club. I think a group of professors volunteer for legal aid. You probably will have to do that once a month. I don't know what else off-hand, but it's not all the time and seems that they bunch everything together, so you will have a week where there are 2-3 events you have to go to and then for a month there will be nothing then 2-3 weeks in a row you'll have another 2-3 things that you need to do. Trust me; every department does this; they throw things at you last minute. Don't be afraid to say no, especially if you already have plans." Professor Dome stated.

"Thanks, I need to get out of here; I am going on a double date of sorts, I think." Raphael stated.

"You think?" She asked.

"Well, it's my partner's babysitter and her boyfriend, but we are taking Noah with us," Raphael stated.

"I see well have a good time see you Friday." Professor Dome stated.

Raphael was getting out early and texted Olivia saying she would meet them at home instead of the restaurant and went to the apartment.

Olivia was wearing a green dress; it wasn't dressy. It was a cotton sundress with flat sandals, and Noah was wearing a polo t-shirt and shorts. He felt as though this was his little family and loved the feeling. He knew that Olivia still hadn't talked Noah about his feelings, but he was overwhelmed with love for both of them.

"I missed you," Raphael stated as he closed the gap holding Olivia close to him. The electricity was instant, and she pulled his hips into hers. He knew she could feel him pressed against her thigh.

She whispered, "tonight." and took a step back. Raphael just smirked at her.

Noah was excited to meet James. He was asking 100 questions.

"So James is Lucy's boyfriend. So does that mean he's going to be my babysitter too?" Noah asked.

"No It just means sometimes you may see him at the park, or go with them to dinner. You might play games with him, but he won't be here taking care of you." Olivia stated.

"Is Lucy going to want to spend more time with him than with me?" Noah asked.

"Not exactly, buddy. She wants you to meet him, so you're comfortable with him when he does show up." Olivia stated.

"Are they going to get married?" Noah asked.

"I don't know buddy, what makes you ask?" Olivia asked.

"Well Linda's mommy had a boyfriend, and then they got married." Noah stated.

"Well most of the time, that is the goal." Olivia stated.

It was time to go, and the three of them walked a few blocks to the pizza shop.

Olivia and Raphael had got to Luigi's a sit-down pizza joint that had better than average pizza and place they all loved. Lucy was sitting by herself in a back booth; they were early but were surprised to find her alone. Lucy smiled at them, and they came to the back.

"Uh, James is running late; he should be here..."

"I am so sorry!" James stated, carrying a car seat.

Olivia and Raphael were shocked not expecting an infant in the hands of Lucy's boyfriend.

She smiled though and looked into his eyes lovingly. Raphael and Olivia could both see their connection.

"It's fine," Lucy stated.

"Everyone, this is James, and this is Analise," Lucy stated as she picked up the baby.

"She is my mom's 15th foster child." James smiled proudly.

"Wow!" Olivia stated.

"Well, I was an only child, and she and my dad had empty nest syndrome, so about five years ago, they started fostering. My mom's a nurse, and she has taken in a lot of kids, but right now, luckily, Analise is the only one, or I would have a gaggle of kids with me right now." James laughed.

"Yeah, his mom is a doctor, and his dad is in marketing, works odd ours because he does business with China," Lucy explained.

Analise was just two months old, a drug-exposed infant that may reunite with her biological mother if she could stay clean, but there were many months to go to see if that would happen. James had explained how his mother was the one to deliver the girl. The mom had no prenatal care was young and living in a shelter. Child services had stepped in when it was found the baby had meth and heroin in her system. When mom couldn't provide basic accommodation and no family could, mom was asked to go to rehab for a chance to get the baby back and find adequate shelter.

Olivia asked to hold Analise.

Olivia literally groaned. "She has that new baby smell!"

Lucy forgot the fact that James and Raphael were right there.

"I know she gives me baby fever so bad," Lucy stated.

Both Raphael and James look at the two of them quizzically.

"I know I definitely feel it too; if I was younger, I don't know if I could stop myself," Olivia stated.

"What are you two going on about?" James asked.

Both women blush.

"I don't know its just the smell of a new baby, looking at her, it instantly makes you want one." Olivia described.

Both men paled a little.

"Liv." Raphael stated.

"Oh no, no, no." Olivia stated.

"It's just there is this emotion this instant bond, and you want that for yourself. A baby of your own." Lucy stated.

"Mmm." Olivia replied.

"That's not in the cards right now," Olivia stated.

James looked up at Lucy, hoping she would say the same thing.

"I'm not trying, I'm not pregnant, she's just a friendly reminder of one day, and trust me, I have waves of wanting a pregnancy more than anything, but I want to finish grad school." Lucy stated.

Raphael and James seemed to relax visibly.

"Was I this little when you got me, mommy?" Noah asked.

"No, honey, I got you a little later on, but you were this small at one time," Olivia explained.

"So James, is you're mommy going to keep her like my mommy did?" Noah asked.

"Maybe, my mom has only kept some older kids, but they are all old enough to live on their own now," James explained.

Olivia changed the subject.

"I think it's wonderful what your mother is doing, but we came here to meet you, so tell us, James, what should we know about you." Olivia asked.

"Let's see. I met Lucy at a party a few years ago. We hit it off then, but she was just starting school, and I was junior. We kept bumping into each other on campus despite being different majors. I was in biology to go on to Pharmacy school, which I graduated from last year. Even with Lucy being part-time, it seemed like we would see each other every time we were on campus. We both love pizza and central park. We lived in the same neighborhood when we were growing up but never knew each other then. I tried three times before Lucy realized I was asking her out on a date." James stated.

Lucy blushed.

" I had asked Olivia at least a dozen times, she always shot me down." Raphael stated.

"I even witnessed 2 of those." Lucy stated.

Olivia looked at the 2 of them like they had grown three heads.

"You never asked me out before coming back."

Lucy couldn't help it. She laughed out loud.

"When I very first started working for you, and he came over with files, he asked you out. You blew him off, and I was sort of surprised he took in such stride. He said that he couldn't thank you enough for the last case and that he admired your tenacity, something about how you were "God's gift to the police force." You said he was saying it because he had won the case. Then about two weeks after you broke up with Ed, you had come home late, and he knocked as soon as you walked through. He had come over to check on you. He told you he wasn't going anywhere. He asked if he could take you and Noah out, and I think you're words were, "So Noah can scream all night at the steak house while you order $80 steak, not a chance." Lucy stated.

Olivia looked like a fish out of water.

"Rafa really?" Olivia asked.

"She's not wrong, Liv," Raphael stated.

"Oh my God, I am such an idiot." Olivia stated.

"Why did you keep trying I think I would have given up." Olivia stated.

"Well some things are worth the wait." Raphael stated and leaned into her.

They ordered pizza and Noah was excited that his slice had two more pepperoni slices than his mom's and three more than Lucys.

"So, James, are you working full time now?" Olivia asked.

"Sort of, fortunately, I can be pretty flexible. Pharmacists are a hot commodity, so they take what they can get, I'm helping my parents with Analise so, for now, I am working about 30 hours a week but when things get a little routine, I'll pick it back up to full time." James stated.

"So Lucy, how many classes do you have for your final semester," Olivia asked.

"Only 2, it practicum class in the child development care center that's 4 days a week, and by thesis class. Which I was hoping to talk to you about. My practicum is required to graduate, and its Tuesday- Friday. My Thesis class is on Monday, Noah will be in school, but practicum will change partway through the semester, and I won't be able to pick up Noah from school my last six weeks of class." Lucy stated.

"We'll work it out. When is your practicum done for the last six weeks?" Raphael asked.

"4 pm" Lucy stated.

"My only issue would be Fridays, and we can have it sorted out well before then. But I want you to know most Tuesdays and Thursdays I will be home by the time he's done with school. So we may be cutting your hours, but I promise we won't let you starve." Raphael stated.

"Well It may come in handy for grad school I'll have internships and have finally decided my graduate major after careful consideration and looking over all my options. I've actually already been accepted to NYU I am going to major in child counseling." Lucy stated.

"Oh, congratulations, you and Raphael will be on the same campus. I am so happy for you." Olivia stated.

"Mommy, can I go to NYU when I'm big enough?" Noah asked.

"Uh, we'll see about that, Noah." Olivia stated.

Raphael gave her a weird look but didn't say anything.

Olivia realized Noah was being left out of most of the conversation and felt terrible, so she asked kid-friendly questions such as going around and saying your favorite ice cream flavor, and favorite color. Favorite cartoons and other things as they continued to eat on their pizza and learn more about each other.


	16. Dad

AN: I just want to thank everyone for the fantastic reviews, I had this on one word document, but it was becoming too much to scroll through so as of now I have 24 chapters written I think it will honestly be pushing 40 chapters. I have at least 3-4 major story arcs. Already thinking of future sequel for this as well. I will let you know when it's the last couple of chapters and make sure everything is resolved. Enjoy. This is the longest chapter by far.

Two weeks had passed since meeting James, and since then, Olivia had asked Lucy all about him and even told her if he needed help with Analise, he was welcome at her apartment. She knew he had to be vetted by child services to also care for Analise, and she ran background check just in case, of course, it was clear.

Olivia had missed Raphael. He had only been over two times in the last two weeks, but he was coming over tonight, and this was his last class with professor Dome. She had explained there was no reason for him to go to the next three classes because they were finals, and the students were taking Scantron tests and had an essay. He did, however, have to go to his orientation class all next week. He had gotten his schedule for it; he even had to stay on campus that week in professor housing. A way for the university to try to get him to stay on campus in buildings they own so, they could get back some of their paychecks.

He thought it ridiculous he was required to stay there, but then again, he may make some new friends. They had activities starting at 8 am and going all the way to 6 pm every night until Friday when they were done at noon. He then would have two weeks off before classes resumed. He could say for sure he was done the planning, had all his notes, lectures, and syllabi in order. He had shown Professor Dome his outlines. He had figured out the online site with ease after going to a class combined with Professor Dome's help, and he was doing everything in his power to make himself utterly free for the last two weeks before he started teaching.

Raphael Arrived with his overnight bag at Olivia's apartment. She still hadn't come home, and Lucy was making tacos for dinner.

"Hey, you didn't have to do that," Raphael explained.

"I honestly didn't know you would be here today," Lucy stated.

"Oh, maybe Liv forgot," Raphael stated.

"I don't know she's been out of sorts lately," Lucy stated.

"What do you mean?" Raphael asked, instantly worried for her.

"Nothing I think she needs a break, and you haven't been around as often she misses you," Lucy stated.

"Yeah, I know I offered her to move in with me a few weeks ago, and I think she is honestly thinking about it, which makes her nervous," Raphael explained.

"Did you really?" Lucy asked.

"yeah I did but don't tell Noah, I told her there is no rush, and it doesn't change anything if she doesn't," Raphael stated.

"Yes, it does that is huge. It would be her giving up everything she's had here and trusting you to take care of her and Noah. It's your place, she's invading, and if something goes bad, she has nothing left." Lucy stated.

"You talking from experience?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, Uh James asked me the week I talked about Liv meeting him, I told him no way, not until the end of this semester I can't risk the drama, he gets it, but I know it would be so much easier. Of course, his place is bigger, and it makes the most sense, but there is something about giving up that freedom I don't want to think about. I love him, but I can't just dump everything I worked for when I am this close." Lucy stated.

"I knew it would be difficult and this is her home it's the only place Noah has ever known, but I never thought that much about it. I would be happy to move in here. We all love where my apartment is." Raphael stated.

"Well convince her to take some time off and show her how she can make it hers, and remind her you're in it together, and that it would be her place just as much as yours put her on the lease, so she knows it's her place too," Lucy stated.

"You make excellent points. How are you so wise for your years?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know it comes with the territory, I guess," Lucy stated.

"What do you mean?" Raphael asked.

"When you live in the not so nice part of town, and your parents work or fight all the time, you learn to fend for yourself. Learn what you want and what you don't and pray to God that the world around you isn't going to suck you into it. You do what you have to do to stay on course, no matter the price." Lucy stated.

"Sounds familiar," Raphael stated.

"My neighbors and friends were my families," Lucy stated.

"Do you still speak?" Raphael asked.

"To my old neighbors, yes, they are so proud like proud grandparents. My friends, well, they didn't pray hard enough, or were content to live the way they were." Lucy stated, sadly.

Lucy got back to chopping up an onion for the tacos, but Raphael went for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of scotch. He thought back to his friends the life they had, the life he wanted. He sipped the scotch and asked Lucy if she wanted a glass.

"I don't drink on the job." Lucy laughed.

"You're off the clock," Raphael stated.

She grabbed the bottle and filled the glass double what it should be.

"I have a high tolerance," Lucy explained. She swallowed the drink down quickly and began to chop a peeper.

His eyebrows arched up shocked she downed it was smooth for alcohol, but even he couldn't have drunk it like that without a cough or two.

"You are full of surprises," Raphael stated.

"Hmm, I think that's why James keeps me around." Lucy laughed.

"So, your friends, what happened?" Raphael asked as he continued to sip.

"Well, there were the 5 of us Me, Sarah, Kaitlyn, John, and Shay. I moved into the apartment building when I was 5, Sarah and Kaitlyn had been there their whole lives. John came later when we were nine, and Shay was like a little sister. She was two years younger, but we took her in. She wanted to be part of us so bad. We were the only kids similar to age on the floor. Sara and I were the closest, and then Sara and Kaitlyn had a love-hate relationship, always asking me John and Shay to pick sides. John was the most real person I have ever met still to this day. He had no filter and was amazingly insightful. We were always trying new things good or bad. He was bisexual, so it was always interesting to get his take on the world as we grew up. He was the first person I ever met, not afraid to talk about anything. Then Shay, like I said we all tried to protect but at the same time drug her into our world where we weren't always thinking clearly. Needless to say, there was a lot of drama, seriously we could have given Beverly Hills 90210 a run for their money. I swear it was the most cliché life."

Raphael laughed.

"Sarah was perfect, flawless confident. She was popular and cute, a dancer, America's sweetheart. Kaitlyn was the master manipulator, her mom, a single parent, drunk. John was the charmer with both sexes, always had someone on his arm some times 2 or 3. He was popular but had that bad boy image. Then Shay, like I said she was the sweet, adorable baby sister that could do no wrong quite meek gentle. I was the rational geek in the group, always having a pros and cons list of everything we did. Then we all grew up I drifted apart the confines of the apartment had spread as we gained more freedom, met new friends. Sarah went on to, art school and Kaitlyn and John were a year ahead, and although I had some classes with them, Kaitlyn became a hermit, and John was an athlete.

Sarah was like my sister. I could tell her everything and we did everything together. I am not even joking anything a teenage girl would do we did it together. It was a very toxic relationship she was the instigator, and for the most part, I followed along. Sarah and I unraveled at the seams when I found her drunk for the 4th night in a row snorting pills and her begging me to do them with her, and I did, like an idiot. I realized I couldn't let her drag me down. John and I could talk for hours, and I had feelings for him, but his eye was always on someone else, and of course, he thought I was too vanilla, even though I was far from it. I never really did get along with Kaitlyn, I saw through her, and she hated me for it. Shay and I are still friends, she's two years younger, and her parents really pushed her she just finished her degree in biology."

"Sad how things fall apart over the years," Raphael stated as he finished his drink.

"Yeah, but looking back, if I would have stayed friends with them, I would be an utter mess right now. John has already been married and divorced and still parties like he is 21. Sarah got busted for heroin not too long ago. Kaitlyn moved upstate and is a grocery bagger. No way I would be in college, no way I would be watching Noah, I would probably be in jail by now." Lucy stated.

"Funny how people see the life they want for themselves and fall into the same traps that they see in their youth, your lucky you have a good head on your shoulders, you're doing great," Raphael stated.

"Thanks, I want to think so," Lucy stated.

The tacos were done, and Noah was playing some game on his tablet he was zoned in on not even hearing Raphael tell him to get cleaned up for dinner.

Raphael had to walk over and tapped him on the shoulder before he agreed to wash his hands.

Raphael had poured himself another drink, and asked Lucy if she wanted a refill, she agreed and once again, he only filled it to the proper line. She rolled her eyes and sipped it this time.

Olivia walked through the door, surprised to see Raphael and Lucy enjoying scotch together but found it amusing.

"Rough day?" Olivia asked.

"No, just reminiscing," Raphael stated.

Lucy poured herself another, taking it like a shot setting the glass on the table and grabbing the bottle of scotch and putting it away.

"Hmm, smells good, thank you so much, Lucy," Olivia stated. She put down her purse and walked to the kitchen sink to wash her hands. Olivia put tacos together for Noah.

"I better go," Lucy stated.

"No, stay, Lucy, you've been drinking," Olivia stated

"I am perfectly fine," Lucy said.

"That's your 4th drink in less than an hour. I know it hasn't hit yet, but it will," Raphael stated.

"I know you think that, but it really won't. I'll take a cab." Lucy stated as she began to walk out the door.

"You're staying." Olivia started, putting her hands on the girl's shoulders and pushing her into a stool, making her a plate of tacos.

Lucy rolled her eyes and sat and ate as they all talked about what was coming up for them.

Noah excitingly talked about the fact Lucy promised to take him to the new dinosaur exhibit at the natural history museum, a place Noah loved so much Olivia ended up becoming a member because if not, she would go broke buying tickets. He also groaned at the fact that he started school in less than a month.

Olivia didn't talk too much about work and never gave details about anything when Noah was around she stated that she was happy there was a lull in cases, and she had no trials she needed to be at for the next two weeks.

Lucy talked about the fact that she and James have tickets for Come From Away. She was excited to start her classes andd she was happy to get time in the childcare center. She also told Olivia for the first time that James has asked her to move in, but she has denied him until she was done with the semester.

Raphael explained that he was up to date with everything for his classes, but he dreaded the upcoming week of "professor orientation." and will be happy when he is about six weeks in. He felt that six weeks in would let him no if he could continue, or he was an utter failure.

When they were done eating their meal, Rapahel and Olivia nervously looked at Lucy fearful she would fall off the stool, but she moved and acted as she has no alcohol what so ever in her system.

She laughed.

"It's okay, mom and dad, I can hold my liquor." Lucy retorted.

"Sorry, it's just if I would have drunk that much I would be on the floor right now," Raphael stated.

Olivia knew it wasn't entirely true but knew that after four glasses of scotch, both of them would be feeling it maybe not falling off the stool feeling it but, she was showing no symptoms of being drunk and Olivia wasn't sure if she was worried, impressed, or shocked.

"Do you feel a buzz, at least?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, a little, I feel a spring in my step," Lucy stated.

"I told you already I have a high tolerance; I don't drink out a lot out because there is no point one or two drinks doesn't do it for me, and I'll be damned if I'm going to run up a $100 tab to get drunk. I think I've only been drunk off cheap wine a few times." Lucy admitted.

"Now If you trust me, I am going home. I'll call a cab and text when I get there." Lucy stated.

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow," Olivia stated.

Lucy left

"She is something else," Raphael stated.

"That she is, she is so perfect for Noah, I swear she is the most down to earth nicest person," Olivia stated.

"Yeah she is, when she was talking to me, I realized we had a lot in common, and I thought about how old I am. I could be her dad. When did I get so old?" Raphael asked.

"Uh, let's see you're two years younger than me, so I would say you're not there yet," Olivia stated.

"Honestly, Liv, though, I know you don't look 48, but do you feel 48?" Raphael asked.

"Some days, especially around Noah, and Carassi, I feel even older. But when I am with you or Amanda or Fin, there are times I don't feel much older than Lucy." Olivia admitted.

"Hmm, I think I am going to feel old teaching, especially my undergrad students," Raphael stated.

"I am sure they have a lot to teach you to Raphael," Olivia stated.

Noah was getting tired, and she had come home late. She told him to forgo his bath for the night, and she would tuck him in.

Raphael looked like he was still lost in his thoughts, so she left him at the table to reflect and read to Noah and tucked him in.

Olivia came back, Raphael had pulled the scotch back out, she assumed he had only poured one more drink.

"Hey Liv, you ever think that you worked hard or just got lucky?" Raphael asked.

"a little of both," Olivia stated, pouring a drink for herself and noticing the bottle was more than half gone.

She sipped the drink carefully.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing really, Lucy told me about her upbringing. It sounds so similar to Alex and Eddie and me. I have to wonder did everyone have that. I know everyone has a messed up past. No one is perfect, but people go through so much and get so far. Other people go through nothing and can't even function. I guess I sometimes wonder, why me? You know?" Raphael stated.

Olivia looked at him.

"I think in your soul, you know, and nothing is going to change the fundamentals of who you are. You may go astray, but you have an internal compass. Some people have one, and others don't, and we are lucky enough to have ones that lead us to each other." Olivia stated.

"I guess. I don't know how to feel about where I am. Don't get me wrong. I love you so much, and Noah too. This isn't what I imagined for myself, and its better than I expected, just not what a dreamed of." Raphael stated.

"I can understand that," Olivia stated she finished her scotch and put it away.

It wasn't late, but Raphael had seen the look on Olivia's face, the one Lucy explained clearly before she came home.

"I've missed you," Raphael stated.

"I've missed you too," Olivia confirmed.

"Why don't we sit to watch tv or a movie sorry I just had a downpour of thoughts. I think what we both need is mind-numbing comedy." Raphael stated.

"Perfect," Olivia stated.

Raphael and Olivia sat together on the couch. Olivia had her head in Raphael's chest. They went on Netflix and decided on stand-up, taking turns watching a few one hour acts laughing all the way through.

Olivia looked lighter, and Raphael felt better. It was about 11 pm, and they both agreed that bed was a perfect idea.

Raphael followed Olivia into her room. She changed into pajamas, and Raphael did as well. Olivia was wearing a dark green slick nightgown, and his heart raced for her.

He rubbed his hands up and down the silky material kissing her lips, grazing the underside of her breasts, and her breath caught.

"Not tonight," she stated.

Even though it felt terrific, she had desired sleep more than anything. Raphael still grabbed at the fabric in less intimate places and kept leaving light kisses on her lips. She wasn't complaining. She smiled, though, when he continued to give pecks on the cheek or grab at the material again.

She pushed him lightly into the bed, and he complied. Usually, she wanted to wrap her arms around him. Tonight he was the one wanting press up against her, and she let him, allowing sleep to come to her. All the talk about her past had made Olivia dream about her childhood. Nothing scary or nothing fantastic just a day when she was about 12 years old at a park. She stayed in that dream all night, flashing through memories of who she used to be.

Morning came too soon. She wined when the light was too bright for her eyeballs and woke up Raphael in the process.

"Everything okay?" Raphael asked.

"No, I have a migraine." She stated.

Olivia rarely got them. She had medication for them, but it no longer worked, and she was too stubborn to go to the doctor to try something else. It felt like an Ice-pick behind her eye and put the cover over her head to block out the light.

"Why don't you take the day," Raphael stated.

"I can't I have a meeting with Dodds this afternoon," Olivia stated.

"What time?" Raphael asked.

"3:30 pm," Olivia stated.

"Then don't go in until late," Raphael stated.

"You know they will call you if they need you," Raphael stated.

"I know. you're right." Olivia stated.

She grabbed her phone, the screen blinding her, making the ice pick jab a little harder and texted Fin.

"if you need anything call otherwise I will see you at 2 pm." Olivia sent.

Fin quickly replied

"Everything okay."

Olivia responded.

"I'm fine."

She set the phone back down. She looked at Raphael, who seemed to have a concern in his eyes.

"It's a combination of lack of sleep, stress, and falling asleep at an odd angle. The fact I haven't had one in so long, I knew my days were numbered. I usually muddle through. I call Lucy to care for Noah, though." Olvia explained

"I'll take care of him, Liv. I'll take him out so you can get some sleep." Raphael suggested.

"I appreciate it," Olivia stated.

Raphael decided that the morning would be well spent going out for breakfast and wearing the boy out at the trampoline park, and maybe if the boy wasn't exhausted, they would go to the park. Raphael checked to make sure there was milk in the fridge for Olivia to have cereal or a small lunch when she got up. The sink was full, so he quietly loaded the dishwasher. He picked up some stuff in the living room and woke Noah up. When Raphael explained that Olivia wasn't feeling good, Noah instantly ran to the bedroom, but Raphael caught him before he turned the door handle and told that it would best to let her sleep. Noah was upset but nodded his head. Noah got dressed, and Raphael took him out for the day.

Noah was hyper, they had just eaten a meal at Mel's, and Raphael wasn't sure how Olivia or Lucy kept up with him on days like today. He found the trampoline park it was five blocks away, and Noah seemed to know the way without Raphael guiding him and the little boy was running ahead. Raphael had to tell him to stop multiple times until they finally got to a stoplight, and he took the boys hand, telling him he wasn't allowed to let go. Raphael thought for sure his arm would pop out of the socket a few times for how forceful Noah was pulling. Raphael knew the boy was excited, but Raphael didn't think ten coffees would give him enough stamina to keep up with the boy all day.

When they arrived at the trampoline park. Raphael realized multiple different options were depending on age, amount of time, and what the child wanted to do. He was overwhelmed by the choices.

"Lucy let me jump into the pit!" Noah stated.

"Uh, okay, so whatever the pit option is," Raphael told the guy at the booth.

The guy was friendly enough and gave Noah a wristband and Raphael one as well to indicate he was with the child.

Shoes came off, and Raphael didn't like the fact that his pricy Hermes we're going into a bin next to 100 other pairs of shoes but he complied and put them in walked on to the padded mats onto a bench and watched the little boy play. Staff at the park said that it wasn't too busy, and if Raphael wanted to jump with Noah, he could. Raphael hesitated. He was in dress pants and a polo. He bounced on a trampoline, not jumping high but watching as Noah jumped as high as he could in the air spreading his legs out kicking and in general, just having fun.

Noah screamed, "Watch this."

Noah ran up to the ladder built into the padded wall. He ran across the ledge past several other ladders and onto a trampoline before diving into a pit below. Raphael didn't quite see the foam pit that Noah was jumping into, and he ran across the room his mouth went dry, and he looked over the ledge to see the boy laughing as he dug out from the foam and running up a ladder to do it again. Raphael laughed as the boy who never seemed to run out of energy hopped from trampoline to trampoline. Noah's eyes had lit up in excitement, and Raphael was already contemplating a nap. He went back to the bench and watched Noah do all kinds of wild things running around just like he would have done at his age.

Raphael sat in thought, wondering how in the world this became his life. He loved Noah so much, and he never thought of having kids. Not after the way his father treated him growing up. When he died, it felt a little freeing, and the thought returned, but he was 39 then and not that it wasn't possible, but he had no one in his life. It was before Olivia, and well before Noah, it was at a time that work was the only thing that mattered other than his mother. He wondered why Olivia waited so long he knew Noah had fallen into her lap, and if it wasn't for the crazy turn of events, would she have even tried.

Noah was so much a part of Olivia; he wasn't even sure he would know what kind of person she would be today without him. He smiled up at the little boy understanding that he made Olivia what she was today.

Raphael watched as Noah's curly hair didn't quite keep up with his body. Noah was tumbling around, and the staff there were showing him different tricks and helping him flip. Noah was excited to get the attention, and the staff seemed to be having fun teaching him.

There were a few other kids that came in, and Noah was playing some game with them. Raphael looked down at his phone when he saw the text and didn't realize it was almost noon. They only had until 12:30 at the park and but Noah looked as though he still got there full of energy bright-eyed running all over the place.

"Just got up, I feel slightly better. Maybe I'll go to the meeting do some paperwork and come home." Olivia explained.

"I'll see you then." Raphael sent back and closed his phone.

Soon enough, a voice on the intercom came on the first group of the day, all with green armbands your time has expired. If you are wearing a green armband, it now time to exit to the front. If you would like to extend your time, see an attendant wearing a blue shirt.

Noah saw his green armband and stopped bouncing.

"It's time to go already?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, it is," Raphael stated.

Noah sighed

"Can we come back tomorrow," Noah begged.

"Not tomorrow Noah but soon," Raphael stated.

"Okay," Noah said and sighed as he put his shoes on.

"Do you want to go to the park?"

Raphael hated the damn park and all the women but knew that he needed to feel the sun on his skin, and Noah still was going 100 miles a minute. So he agreed, and they walked towards the park. When Raphael got there, he was surprised to see a few other male counterparts and stuck close to them.

Noah was going down the slide headfirst. Raphael didn't stop him as other parents yelled at their kids not to do it. Raphael wasn't too concerned. It was the small slide, and the angle wasn't too steep, so he let Noah do what he was doing until he attempted the fast metal slide the same way, and that's when Raphael stopped him.

"Noah! That's too high and to fast to go head first. Sit on your butt and slide down." Raphael stated.

"No!" Noah stated defying Raphael's wished and slid headfirst down the metal Raphael couldn't quite reach him in time, and his head hit the muddy puddle at the bottom. The palm of his hands scraped hard against the ground leaving a scrape on his loose left-hand skin on his right, and the little boy screamed out in shock and began to cry.

Raphael was so angry.

"What did I tell you, Noah Porter Benson? You didn't listen, and now you're a mess, and you hurt your hands!" Raphael stated. He picked the boy up from the ground.

"We're going home," Raphael stated.

It didn't help Noah's cries, and the tears and screams and sniffles kept coming. Raphael wasn't pushing or pulling Noah, but he was still being defiant and not walking in a straight line. He picked him up and sat him on the park bench. He had nothing to clean the boy off with, and he was beyond frustrated because now he too was a muddy mess.

"Noah, you need to calm down a second; this is not helping with your asthma mijo." Raphael pleaded.

Noah screamed "No." and jumped down and ran the opposite direction of home.

Raphael kept up pure adrenaline running through his veins and scooped him up.

"You don't ever run from me, do you understand!" Raphael asked as he still had his hands wrapped around the little boy.

He had stopped screaming, but tears were coming down his face.

"You're not Lucy, and You're not my mom! I don't want to go with you."

"We're going home, Noah, now!" Raphael stated.

"NO NO, NO!" Noah screamed.

Raphael grabbed the boy loosely by the wrist, trying not to irritate the scrape.

"I want to play!" Noah stated.

"I know you do, but you didn't listen, and you're a mess. Its a bath and then." Raphael stated.

Raphael had no idea what to say after that. The kid is six. He had only seen Olivia punish him two times and once was talking back, so instead of him watching a cartoon, he had to watch what they were watching, which he couldn't even remember what it was. Another time he had turned his bedroom light on the way past bedtime and was playing with his tablet Olivia took it away for a week. He had no idea what kind of punishment he should get. If he had anything to go by in his home, it would be his dad hitting him with a belt until his mother stopped him.

Noah was no longer putting up a fight, and when they finally got to the apartment, Olivia was about to walk out the door. She saw her child's face head top of his shirt in dark mud, Raphael not looking much better.

"Mommy Raphael is mean; I don't like him anymore. He hurt me!" Noah screamed wildly and began to cry, running to his mother, getting mud all over her.

Raphael was stunned at Noah's claims.

Olivia looked at Raphael's facial expressions. She could tell the boy's words crushed him. Olivia knew not to read into Noah's words to much. The little boy did have a way of manipulating a story to get what he wanted.

"Noah, I want you to tell me the truth what happened?" Olivia asked.

Noah remained silent.

"You go to your room, you get those muddy clothes off of you, and Raphael will start you a bath. You stay in your room until I come to get you." Olivia stated.

Noah ran to his room and slammed the door. Olivia jumped at the sound.

"I'm so sorry, Rafa, what happened?" Olivia stated.

"I don't know Liv he was going headfirst down the little slide and it wasn't a big deal I let him do it. Then he wanted to go down the big metal slide headfirst I told him, no, but before I could get there he was already going head first in the mud, he scraped his hands, I got so mad at him. He just started crying. I told him we were going home. He took off from me Liv, ran the total opposite direction. I scooped him up, grabbed him by the wrist, and walked him home." Raphael stated in as tears went down his face.

Olivia sighed.

"God Rafa, I am so sorry. You know he doesn't usually act like this. Let me talk to him. You relax. I have a little bit of time before I need to go in." Olivia stated.

Olivia walked into Noah's room. He was in his boxers, the muddy clothes in the hamper.

"Noah, What you did today is not okay. You have to listen to Rafa, okay. Just like Lucy or me or with Aunt Amanda, you have to listen to them." Olivia stated.

"But I wanted to show him how cool it is!" Noah stated.

"And look where it got you. You're a mess, and instead of playing at the park, you're at home." Olivia stated.

"If you would have listened, you could still be playing at the park right now," Olivia stated.

"I promise I'll listen if I can go back to the park," Noah stated.

"No, you are grounded Noah, No park, no tablet, no games, no tv. You said Raphael hurt you, where did he hurt you?" Olivia asked.

"Here!" Noah stated as he pointed to his heart.

"He made you mad, didn't he?" Olivia asked.

"Yes! I wanted to stay at the park!" Noah stated.

"Well, because you didn't listen, he had to bring you back home. He was trying to keep you safe, and because you didn't listen, you got hurt here." Olivia said, pointing to her chest. "And here." grabbing the little boy's hands and seeing some blood on his right hand.

"What have we learned today, Noah?"

"I need to listen to Raphael," Noah said.

"You need to listen to any adult that is watching you," Olivia replied.

"You know you hurt Raphael too; you hurt his feelings because you didn't listen. You hurt his feelings because you tried to run away." Olivia stated.

"I'm going to get the water ready for you and wash your hands. You apologize to Raphael once you get dressed. He is going to be here for the rest of the day with you." Olivia stated.

"Is Raphael, my new nanny?" Noah asked.

Olivia looked at him and realized she had never had a conversation with him.

"No, Noah. Raphael wants to be your dad." Olivia stated.

Noah instantly smiled

"Like a mommy, but a boy, daddy?" Noah asked.

"Yeah. Like I'm your mom, he wants to be your dad." Olivia stated.

"Does he has to be my dad?" Noah asked.

"No, but he really wants to be your dad. That's up to you." Olivia stated.

"Can I call him dad?" Noah asked excitingly.

"That's something you need to talk to him about. He is going to be here all day. Let's get that bath started for you and mommy will help you get all the mud out." Olivia stated.

Raphael hadn't heard Olivia's conversation with Noah; he had been in the bedroom, changing his muddy clothes and rinsing the dirt off his arms. He listened to the bathwater running and walked back and sat on the bed.

Raphael stared at the wall, unable to focus on much else. He didn't even hear Olivia come back into the bedroom until the door closed.

"Hey, you did good," Olivia stated.

"Then why do I feel like the worst person on the planet right now?" Raphael asked.

"Because that boy has you wrapped around his finger, and he knows how to push buttons even if he does not mean too," Olvia stated as she started to change into something else.

"He loves you don't doubt that. He wants to talk to you after he's done in the bath. I scrubbed all the mud out of his hair." Olivia stated.

"Hmm." was all Raphael could say.

"He's grounded for the day. No park, No TV, no tablet, not toys." Olivia stated.

"Yeah, he's going to love me." Raphael scoffed.

"I never said no helping cook or no reading. I never said he couldn't talk to you." Olivia stated.

"You guys have options," Olivia stated.

"Thanks. I have no idea how to punish him Liv, I know I'm not his dad, but if you weren't here, I have no clue what I would do." Raphael stated.

"You'll get the hang of it, maybe sooner than you think," Olivia stated. She was now fully dressed. She looked down, and it was now 1:00 pm. She would have to skip lunch if she was going to make it to the office by 2, so a vending machine snack would have to do.

"Liv, I, all I could think was if I were my dad, I would hit him with a belt. I have no desire to do so when he said I hurt him." Raphael stated.

"Hey, hey, he was just upset when I asked where you hurt him he pointed ho his heart. He was just upset that you stopped him from doing something he wanted to do." Olivia stated.

"He is already over it, he won't be happy he is grounded, but he knows you didn't hurt him okay," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, okay," Raphael stated.

"I have to go. I will be home as soon as I can." Olivia stated.

Raphael stood up. Olivia kissed him hard, trying to show that she wasn't mad, and everything was okay.

Noah was dressed and sitting on the couch.

"Now remember you apologize to Raphael! Be good; I love you." Olivia stated and hugged Noah before walking out the door.

Raphael walked out, looking at the now clean boy on the couch. Noah didn't say anything and was a staring contest, and Raphael wasn't sure how long it lasted. He knew he has his best courtroom face on just challenging Noah.

"I'm sorry," Noah stated.

"I just wanted to keep you safe, and you scared me. You can't run away like that." Raphael stated.

"I know," Noah stated.

"Mommy said that you want to be my dad," Noah stated.

"She did?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, she said that you don't have to be my daddy, but you want to be my daddy," Noah explained.

"I want to be your dad more than anything," Raphael admitted.

"Can I call you, dad," Noah asked.

"I would like that very much," Raphael stated, his heart overwhelmed by the little boy.

"I would too," Noah admitted.

Noah ran up and hugged Raphael, and he pulled the boy up into his arms and kissed his forehead. Raphael had happy tears streaking his face. Noah didn't pay attention to them, though, as Raphael held tightly onto him, never wanting to let him go.


	17. NYU

Raphael had begrudgingly packed a larger bag to stay at NYU for the week. It was now Sunday night. After Olvia had gotten home Thursday, they discussed the next steps with Noah and told him that first thing Monday morning, she would get a hold of Trevor for adoption paperwork if that's what he wanted. Raphael wanted to be Noah's dad more than anything. Olivia knew that the paper would make it official. Friday, he went home to pack, and Olivia picked up a case. He went to his mother's home and explained what had been going on in his personal life. She insisted that next weekend that Noah and Olivia come to her home so they can finally talk.

"Liv, is on her way." Lucy stated.

"You going somewhere?" Lucy asked.

"Just to NYU, who insists I sleep in an apartment of theirs to try to recoup some of the money they are paying me." Raphael explained.

Lucy laughed.

Noah saw that his dad was at the door.

"Daddy!" He yelled.

This was the first time he had seen Noah since the day at the park. He and Olivia had stayed up late that night talking and discussing what the next steps were for not only his relationship with Noah but the relationship with her. Olivia had promised to contact Trevor Langan, who she wanted to draw up the paperwork.

Lucy had never heard the little boy call Raphael daddy, and her heart was rattled as Raphael bent down and hugged Noah.

"Liv told me about the other day. What a roller coaster for you." Lucy stated.

"Worth it," Raphael replied.

"Well, I am headed out, James, and I are trying to spend time before classes start, and I lose it over my thesis," Lucy explained.

"Well have fun." Raphael stated.

Raphael and Noah started making dinner chicken and rice. Noah was a big help in the kitchen, although he tended to make a bit of a mess when mixing things. Raphael and Noah were talking away when Olivia walked through the door. She watched the too in the kitchen. There were spices all over the counter, and Noah happily measured them into a spoon.

"Smells good." Olivia stated.

Raphael and Noah turned around.

"Mommy!" Noah screamed he shoved the spoon at Raphael making all the contents of pepper fall to the floor.

Raphael couldn't help but laugh. He was so envious of the love between Olivia and Noah.

Olivia enveloped Noah in a hug, and she pulled him closer than usual. Raphael knew it had been a bad day when he saw the expression in her eyes.

"Why don't you go relax with Noah? I'll let you know when it's ready." Raphael offered.

Olivia shook her head and took Noah to cuddle on the couch and watch tv.

When dinner was ready Rapahel set out the plates and called for the pair for dinner. Olivia was zoned out, and it took a second for Noah to get his mother's attention.

Noah had eaten dinner and asked to play on his tablet. Olivia agreed, and the little boy went and laid in bed, playing a book read along.

"Whats wrong?" Raphael asked.

"Bad day, dead kids. I don't want to talk about it." Olivia stated and hugged Raphael hoping it would give her the strength to get her mind out of its current state.

"I'm sorry, Liv," Raphael stated.

Olivia kissed Raphael trying to get the images out of her head, and he complied with the long lingering kiss that he hadn't quite gotten in the last few days. She had been busy and coming home late. He had been home filling out paperwork. He had even stayed with his mom one night since Wednesday after telling her about the adoption paperwork.

"Liv." Raphael moaned out. She continued to deepen the kiss and had her nails dug into the back of his shirt.

She wasn't slowing down, and she was moving her hips closer and closer to his, and his whole body felt like electric was racing through it, and he was unsure how she could get so much reaction out of him, but the edge he was on felt incredible. Olivia wanted nothing more than to feel his skin on hers but knew it wasn't a good idea with Noah still awake.

"I've missed this." Olivia stated as she slowly came down from her high.

"I know. Just a few hours, and I'm all yours." Raphael stated.

Olivia cleaned up the kitchen. Raphael ran Noah's bathwater. The 3 of them played three games of Yahtzee before Noah went to bed.

The second Noah's door was closed Raphael was all over Olivia. They walked into the bedroom and locked the door. Olivia was unbuttoning her shirt, and Raphael wasn't quite shocked but surprised at how fast she was moving,

"i just need to feel you," Olivia admitted.

Raphael undressed his erection, already poking upward.

Olivia came to him and closed the gap pushing their skin together impossibly tight, and Raphael felt the warmth of her body and moaned in a satisfying pleasure. They were touching and grabbing and kissing. Olivia was trying her best to get at an angle to get pleasuring friction, and when she finally found it, she couldn't stop she knew she was now humping Raphael's thigh, but it felt so good, and he didn't stop her. She cried out in pleasure before Raphael hushed her knowing that Noah could quickly wake up. Olivia realized her mistake and took deep breaths until she finished. After she came off her high, she blushed.

"Sorry I don't know what came over me... I." Olivia got cut off by Raphael's kiss.

Raphael was hurting to gain entrance inside of her. Riding his leg was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen Olivia do, and that was saying a whole lot.

"Please, inside," Olivia begged.

Raphael obliged, laying her on the bed and slowly entering her body. Olivia breathed out as soon as he fully penetrated her, and for the first time in a while, she felt whole. When he thrust her climax quickly built, and she felt the involuntary contractions sending Rapahel over the edge as well. Raphael smiled at her kissed her lips, he went to pull out, but Olivia quickly grabbed him shaking her head no, and moving carefully on to her side Raphael's leg still wrapped around her wanting nothing more than to keep them together. Raphael smiled and put his hands through her hair. They didn't talk; they just gave light kisses and touched time to time. Raphael was sure he could spend all night doing this.

Every so often Raphael could feel Olivia contract around him, and he shuttered he could feel his erection start to grow, and Olivia kept doing it.

"Liv" he groaned out.

Olivia giggled and pushed herself on top of him. She was running her hands all over him, and he couldn't get enough. She made slow thrusts and Raphael didn't know how long he could hold out. The thrusts became deeper and longer, and this felt different. A different build-up than what he was used to and sometimes the feeling was so intense he would have to still Olivia for a second because he couldn't breathe. He was overly sensitive, she would slow down for a minute but lose herself once again, and Raphael wasn't sure how he was ever going to leave this bed again. When he finally came into her, he had tears streaming down his face. The experience was so much different than any other.

"That was incredible." He stated.

"Yeah it was." Olvia admitted and went to move off of Raphael, but this time he didn't want her to move.

"Rafa, I'm uncomfortable." She stated.

He quickly let go of her hips, and she moved to lay directly beside him. Olivia still pressed tightly against him.

"I love you," Raphael stated.

"I love you too," Olivia replied.

Raphael realized suddenly he was so hungry, and as if he never even ate dinner. Olivia was sticky with sweat and other bodily fluids. Although she was worn out, she wasn't sleepy.

"Liv I'm starving." Raphael finally said out loud.

Olivia laughed.

"There are some cookies in the kitchen." She stated.

"Perfect." Raphael claimed.

He kissed her and slipped on his boxers.

Olivia stripped the sheets off the bed, and changed the bedding before going into the shower.

Raphael heard the water running and groaned at the thought of Olivia in the shower.

He finished off the cookies and went back to the bedroom.

He knocked on the bathroom door, and Olivia let him in, She was in a robe and brushing her teeth.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and looked at the 2 of them in the mirror. He couldn't believe he was this lucky to be with her, to have Noah as his son, and his life finally feels like it's going in the right direction.

"I'm going to get dressed, you get cleaned up." Olivia stated.

Raphael complied. He showered and brushed his teeth; he went back to the bedroom and changed. It was about 11:30, and Olivia was reading a book. Raphael crawled into the bed, and Olivia closed the book turned off the light pressed her body into Raphael, wrapping her arms around him. The two fell asleep quickly.

Raphael woke at 7:00 am he felt well-rested. Olivia was stirring around.

"Morning." She stated.

"Morning." Raphael said.

"I got to get ready," Raphael explained and got out of the bed.

He wore a suit, one of his best just to be prepared. He was to meet a Professor Lowe at the Law school before heading to the apartment he was supposed to spend his week in. He grabbed a granola bar out of the cupboard and ate it, knowing his nervousness wouldn't allow much else. Olivia glanced at him and could see his nervousness in his eyes.

"You got this," Olivia stated.

"Thanks, I will see you next week." Raphael stated.

"Call me." Olivia stated.

"Of course, I'll read Noah's book tonight." Raphael stated.

"I love you," Raphael stated.

"Love you." Olivia stated.

Raphael went to Noah's room, woke him up, and told him he was leaving. Noah hugged him and went back to sleep. Raphael looked at the little boy, unsure how he would leave him all week. He probably wouldn't. He would probably leave the apartment and come back someday that week. He smiled at the little boy.

"Hey I'll be sneaking back sometime this week, I'm sure." Raphael stated.

"I look forward to it," Olivia stated. She kissed, him pushing him against the door. She grabbed his tie to pull him closer, and the smile on his face was pure smugness. Olivia had her lips on his once more.

Olivia took a spare key and handed it to him.

"I should have given this to you along time ago." Olivia stated.

"Maybe I'll come back tonight." Raphael laughed.

"I wouldn't be disappointed." Olivia stated.

"I'm going to be late." Raphael warns.

"Okay go, I'll see you soon," Raphael stated and turned to leave.

Raphael met Professor Lowe in the Law school building. He had seen a picture of him in the NYU staff booklet. The man had aged slightly from his photo, but he had a glow about him that Raphael couldn't see to place.

"Hello, you must be professor Barba." Professor Lowe stated.

"Yes nice to meet you." Raphael replied.

The older man explained that he had been at the law school for 20 years, and before that he had been a mediator and defense lawyer. He exclaimed he had seen Raphael on the news before. He explained that he had come to NYU after a particularly rough and no longer was interested in the courtroom drama.

"It's A good change even if its to get your body out of the courtroom. It gets difficult after so long. Things change, feelings change. I'll tell you the longer I am here, the younger I feel." Professor Moore admitted.

Professor Moore gave Raphael a detailed tour of the law school, as well as several buildings all around campus it was an all-day event which allowed Raphael to learn just about everything there was to know about professor Lowe. He didn't mind hearing his story. Raphael had told him about Olivia and Noah. He admitted he hadn't been let go from the DA's office but couldn't stay either. He claimed he had always wanted to be a judge, but now, that life was too far fetched and after his case, not what he wanted anymore.

"Hope you like sports, they will have you at games Basketball and Baseball being the big ones." Professor Moore stated.

"Child friendly, at least I can have company." Raphael stated.

"Indeed." Mr. Moore stated.

"My grandchildren like nothing more than to come to a basketball game and eat hotdogs." Mr. Moore admitted.

Raphael smiled at the man and hoped after today they would run into each other more often than not.

The two of them went to the Kimmel Center for Raphael's orientation. Professor Moore insisted on staying and whispering "lies." or "well that's true." during the presentation, and Raphael was so happy he wasn't alone. Professor Moore seemed to make it more as though they were facing it together.

There was an after presentation dinner, and Professor Moore pointed out another new law professor as well as another colleague who was mentoring them. The 4 of them sat a table, and Raphael had a friendly conversation.

Olivia should be home for dinner, but she's not. She is catching up on paperwork that she had let stack over the weekend. She was signing her name for the 50th time when Fin knocked on her door.

"Hey, Liv, I was headed out. Are you going to be here much longer?" He asked.

"Shouldn't have left all of this." She stated, showing the large amount of paperwork.

"Well it will be here tomorrow." Fin stated.

"I know I should be getting home to Noah." Olivia stated.

"Let I walk you out." Fin stated.

"Yeah okay." Olivia signed one last time and stretched out her hand and smiled, looking up to the man who has been with her for so long.

"I know you're feet away from me all day, but I can't help but miss you when and the rest of the team when I am locked in here

most of the day," Olivia stated.

"Feelings the same Liv." Fin stated.

"So how is everything?" Olivia asked.

"It's going, Liv." Fin admitted.

"Well, you know if you need anything," Olivia stated.

"I know you have my back." Fin stated.

"I know you have mine." Olivia smiled.

They walked out of the precinct, and Olivia got into her car drove home.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy." Olivia stated.

"Noah's already asleep. Rough day?" Lucy asked.

"No, just long; I had a lot of paperwork still behind," Olivia stated.

"The joys of being in charge." Lucy laughed.

"Something like that." Olivia agreed.

"Did Raphael call?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, he called on the house phone and read a book to Noah. Apparently, he grabbed a couple from the self and took with him." Lucy stated.

"He loves that little boy." Olivia claimed.

"Maybe more than you." Lucy stated.

"I know its more than me." Olivia laughed. "Which means I love him even more." Olivia sighed.

"So did you call the attorney?" Lucy asked.

"Shit, no." Olivia sighed. She bit her lip. She had Trevor's number.

"Hey this is Olivia, I need to talk to you about Noah as soon as you can tomorrow let me know." Olivia texted.

"Is everything okay?" Trevor asked quickly back.

"Yeah, more than okay," Olivia stated.

"Can you meet in my office sometime tomorrow?" Trevor asked.

"Can I convince you to come to me, anytime I will be at my desk signing paperwork all day." Olivia responded.

"Well I guess I can factor it into the fee." Trevor joked.

"See you tomorrow." Olivia texted and ended the conversation.

"Thanks Lucy." Olivia stated.

"Hey, no problem. I am going to head out." Lucy stated.

"Be careful, have a good night," Olivia stated.

"You too." Lucy claimed.

Olivia looked around her home. Wondering when it didn't quite feel the same. She knew it was because she was missing Raphael, and the place always felt a little more lonely on the days he wasn't in it. She looked at the walls desperately wished that they were at his apartment instead. She would at least be able to watch the boats. Or breath in his scent on his bedsheets. Or she could occupy herself in the giant tub. She instead texted him

"I just got home. I miss you." Olivia texted.

"I miss you, is everything okay?" Raphael stated.

"Yeah, how was your day?" Olivia asked.

The 2 began a text conversation that lasted over 2 hours, and Olivia realized how late it was. She sent him a goodnight text and went to get ready for bed.


	18. A Knock on the Door

Raphael had enough it was now Wednesday afternoon, and he was made to do some stupid team-building exercise with three other professors from other departments he would never meet again. The other three seemed to think this was the greatest thing ever. He wasn't trying to be a prick, but he wasn't one for Human knots or two truths one lie. He felt like he was in middle school. They were talking about insecurities, and he lied through his teeth at the three onlookers because he didn't want them to know him. The whole day was about meeting new people, and although he wanted to make friends, he didn't really care for Professor Lynn, who works in theoretical mathematics. He wasn't even sure what that was, and the man wanted to go on and on about it. For whatever reason, Professor Lynn clung to him like a lost puppy, and Raphael didn't want to be the new owner. As soon as they broke for lunch, Raphael took off walking the opposite of everyone else.

He went a long way around to the next building for NYU a History. He was exhausted and to be honest he knew he needed school spirt or what have you but he could care less about how the school came to be or the famous people who graduated from it. He didn't care that the mascot's look changed over the years. It was nothing of importance. The day drug on and Raphael Baraba was convinced it would never end.

He called and talked to Noah before a reception he was required to go to. He knew it would run late, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to go home to see Noah and Olivia and sleep in a comfortable bed. The apartment was better than he thought, but the furnished apartment had poor quality beds and appliances. He was looking at the clock every few minutes as his life depended on it counting down the time until he could sneak to Olivia.

Olivia had gotten home early that day. She sent Lucy home. Olivia wanted nothing more than to spend time with Noah, school was starting soon. Although neither one liked shopping too much, he needed school supplies and some new outfits, which Olivia was seriously thinking about having Raphael help with the clothing department. So they went to look at school supplies. Noah insisted on a Power Ranger everything, and Olivia complied until she saw the lunch box he wanted was $30 and pulled him to a cheaper option. After they got home, Noah complained he wasn't feeling well. Olivia found he had a slight fever. He wanted pizza, and Olivia indulged the little boy, but as soon as he was done eating, he went and laid down, falling asleep almost immediately.

Olivia looked at the time it was only 7:30. She began to clean up the kitchen and decided now was a good time for some reality tv. She was sitting on the couch when she heard a knock.

She was confused as to who it would be and secretly hoped it was Raphael, and he forgot he had a key, but she knew that wasn't his knock. She got up and looked through the peephole, shocked at who it was. She quickly opened the door.

"Brian?" Olivia asked.

He looked up. His eyes were red and puffy tears everwhere.

"Oh my god, Bri, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"My mom Liv, she's dead," Brian stated.

With his words, the air expelled from her lungs and it felt like a truck hit her. His mom was wonderful to her, and she knew how close Brian and his mother were. She closed the gap between the two and instantly hugged him. She walked him into the apartment and sat with him on the couch. He leaned into her for comfort, and she excepted him leaning, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"Heart attack," Brian claimed.

"I am sorry, Brian," Olivia stated, putting her hands through his hair, trying to comfort him.

"I'm sorry I just showed up at your doorstep," Brian stated.

"Don't be. We're friends, and I care about you. That's what friends do." Olivia stated.

"I know. I want to thank you, Liv, there aren't a lot of people I can turn too." Brian stated.

"You always have me," Olivia stated as she still stoked his hair, trying to calm him. His breath was still erratic, and new tears would flow from time to time.

Olivia had to admit that she and Brian were nowhere near best friends, but they stayed in touch and on occasion, would have a drink, but she hadn't seen him since before she and Raphael were together, but he knew they were seeing each other. Olivia knew Brian had been on a couple of dates and was doing good for himself.

"I already miss her, Liv," Brian said as yet another set of tears fell from his face.

Olivia had repositioned slightly, but still, most of Brian's weight was on her as she tried to get him to relax.

"When did this happen?"

"Yesterday morning," Brian admitted.

"Have you even slept?" Olivia asked.

"No," Brian admitted.

"Relax then," Olivia stated.

She rubbed his arms and stroked his cheeks, and he eventually relaxed and fell asleep against her. She sighed. She also felt a heavy heart with the lack of his mother. She was indeed a wonderful lady, and she would miss her too. She continued to rub Brian's arm more for her sake than his. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but she really had nowhere to go and didn't dare try to turn on the TV. Brian needed rest. When Olivia heard the key jam into the lock, she slightly jumped and looked around. Brian was oblivious to the fact that in about 3 seconds, Raphael Barba was going to walk through that door and see them in what seemed to be very compromising was leaned back, and his head was using her chest as a pillow. Raphael walked through the door at precisely 9:30 pm. He noticed she wasn't in the kitchen and looked on the couch to see Brian Cassidy in her lap.

His mouth went dry; his heart began to race. He didn't know what to think. He looked at Olivia and studied her eyes. She looked semi guilty, but she wasn't rushing to move, and that made Raphael pause his thought process. Either she was ending it with him, or there was some explanation.

He waited for her to explain.

She looked at Raphael and simply whispered, "His mom died." she had new tears falling from her cheeks.

"Oh, Liv," Raphael stated.

He saw the exhausted look on Brians's face, and although he was by far not his favorite person, he knew that nothing happened. Brian was seeking comfort from someone else that knew his mother.

"Have you ate?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, I don't know about him, though," Olivia claimed

"How long have you been asleep," Raphael asked.

"Only a few hours," Olivia stated.

"You think he'll wake up if I help you move him," Raphael asked.

"I don't know I don't want him to dart out of here." Olivia continued to whisper.

"Well, I am not sure I like his use of you as his pillow," Raphael smirked.

"I know this is extremely awkward for you, but you know we're just friends," Olivia stated.

"That doesn't mean I can't be jealous," Raphael stated.

"I know, but you have no reason," Olivia claimed.

"We'll talk later," Raphael stated.

But just as Raphael said that Brian, shifted. Olivia grabbed a pillow quickly and set it under his head, expertly getting out from under him and leaving him on the couch alone. Olivia pulled the blanket over him and snuggled into it. Olivia stood up, smoothed out her clothes, and launched herself into Raphael's arms.

"I've missed you," Olivia stated.

Raphael held her for a long time, missing the feel of her body. Relaxing at her touch, Raphael leaned on her. They held each other for a while. Then Olivia walked them back to her bedroom, slowly closing the door.

"I know that wasn't you expected to walk in on," Olivia stated.

"No, it's not, but I trust you, Liv. The worst part is knowing he knows you the same way I do." Raphael mentioned.

"He's very private, Rafa, and I'm one of the few people with who he has a close relationship with," Olivia commented.

"Do you still love him?" Raphael asked.

Olivia thought about it for a moment.

"I do love him, but not the same way I love you. There are no romantic feelings at all. I care deeply for him, and I want to be there for him, but I have no desire to kiss him hold him, I don't want him to be Noah's dad. I want him to come around and talk from time to time." Olivia explained.

Raphael nodded his head. He believed her. He could understand her feelings.

"What happened with mom?" Raphael asked.

"Heart attack," Olivia stated.

"Were you to close?" Raphael asked.

"No, but she was a wonderful lady. She and Brian were very close, and she was his voice of reason, so that concerns me for Brian's sake." Olivia explained.

"Why don't we get dressed for bed. Keep the door open so you can here if Noah or Brian wakes up, and I can get some decent sleep." Raphael stated.

"Sounds perfect," Olivia stated.

She went to kiss him hard and put her hands down his waist, about to put her hands under his pants.

"Liv, I don't need reassurance sex," Raphael stated.

"It's not," Olivia claimed

"I haven't slept since Sunday night. I don't have the energy." Raphael stated.

"Okay," Olivia stated.

They both got dressed for bed, Raphael opened the door. Olivia cuddled up next Raphael, and he instantly fell asleep. Olivia laid there for a minute, over-analyzing the last few hours of her life. She wasn't sure if Raphael was fine with Brian or just didn't want to put up a fight. If it had been the opposite way if he had some ex she knew of in his arms, she wasn't sure if she would give him time to explain. Just another thing to add to the list as to why she didn't deserve him, she guessed. She sighed She let Raphael go and turned over, pushing herself to the edge of the bed and wondering how on earth Raphael Barba ever said yes to her, to begin with. With all her baggage, how was he supposed to put up with Brian popping in or the fact she was attacked. How could Raphael even feel safe with her when half the time she didn't feel safe with herself, never knowing when the next William Lewis will come after her or Noah and now Raphael too. She wasn't sure she was worth it. Olivia closed her eyes tears streaming down her face, not sure about anything anymore, and fell asleep.

It was 5 am when Olivia heard movement. She could tell it was Noah, and he ran into the bedroom.

"Mommy, I'm awake," Noah said excitingly.

"Of course you are," Olivia mumbled.

"Are you still sleepy?" Olivia asked.

"No," Noah said and climbed in the bed, realizing that Raphael was in bed too.

"Dad?" Noah questioned.

"Yeah, sweetheart, your dad's here," Olivia stated. Noah excitingly jumped on the bed, waking up Raphael.

"Hey mijo, its a little early isn't it," Raphael asked as he scrubbed his face.

"I missed you," Noah stated as he laid on top of Raphael and hugged him.

Raphael would never get used to this. He loved the little boy more than words could express, and he hugged him back.

"I'm hungry," Noah stated.

Raphael laughed.

"Well, I guess that's my cue," Raphael stated.

Olivia was tired but knew she wouldn't get back to sleep.

She walked into the kitchen turning on the light, Brian was still wrapped in the blanket, his worry lines had smoothed, and she was glad the man could get some decent rest. Raphael looked through the fridge pulling out eggs and sausage.

"Why don't you get ready? I'll make breakfast. I need to be back before 8." Raphael stated.

"Okay," Olivia stated.

She went and showered quickly. She got dressed for the day. She wasn't sure how Brian was going to react to anything and wasn't sure what Raphael would say to the man when he awoke. Olivia was getting dressed, pulling out a pair of tan pants. A white shirt. That's when she heard Brian's voice.

"Liv?" Brian asked. Suddenly looking around the living room."

"She's getting ready for the day," Raphael said casually.

"Oh, I should get, listen, I'm sorry I shouldn't." Brian stood up quickly.

"You and Liv are friends, she told me about your mom. Not that I was the happiest coming home to find you laying on top of her last night, I understand that you two are close. So stay have breakfast talk to Liv." Raphael stated.

Olivia felt as that was her queue to make an appearance. She walked to the kitchen, kissed Raphael on the lips, and walked over to Brian.

"Hey, you okay?" Olivia asked.

"Better," Brian admitted.

"Daddy, are you staying home today?" Noah asked.

"Daddy?" Brian whispered.

"Yeah, it's new," Olivia admitted.

"Well, good for you." Brian smiled.

"You think so?" Olivia asked.

"I know so," Brian stated.

"Glad you're sure of it," Olivia stated.

Brian furrowed his brow, but Raphael stated breakfast was made.

Raphael looked at the time it was nearing at 6 am.

"I need to get ready if I am going to make it back to that stupid apartment before I am missed," Raphael stated.

Olivia rubbed his back.

"Just one and a half days," Olivia stated.

"I know. Friday, why don't you and Noah come over. Can you take a ½ day?" Raphael asked.

"I'll see what I can do," Olivia stated.

Raphael turned to the bedroom to get ready.

"Noah Lucy will be here in about an hour and a half. Brush your teeth and get dressed. Maybe play with your legos for a little bit." Olivia instructed.

"Okay, mommy, can Brian come to play with me?" Noah asked.

"Maybe in a little bit," Olivia claimed.

As soon as Noah was out of earshot, Brian asked Olivia a question

"Liv, are you having issues with Raphael?" Brian asked.

"No, I'm sorry, Brian, I just you know me over-analyzing everything," Olivia claimed.

"I know, and you need to stop. He is good for you and Noah." Brian claimed.

"I know that, but am I good for him?" Olivia asked.

"Liv, please, anyone would be lucky to have you," Brian said.

"Like you?" Olivia said, cooly.

"Liv don't! You know why we didn't work. You wanted a baby. You wanted someone who could be a dad, and I couldn't, and I can't. You deserve to be with someone who can. If it were the other way around right now me walking in on Raphael in your lap last night, he would be dead. You have a good man Liv. If you love him, you can't just make some shitty excuse that you're not good enough." Brian explained.

"You shouldn't be worrying about me right now, Bri." Olvia started.

"Then don't give me a reason," Brian stated.

"Fine. I'm worth it." She stated.

"Now, say it like you mean it," Brian stated.

Olivia looked at him for a minute.

"I deserve Raphael Barba." She started slowly trying to make herself believe the words coming out of her lips.

"The funeral is on Saturday, Liv. I would appreciate it if you can be there," Brian stated.

"Yeah, of course," Olivia stated and hugged Brian.

"Well, I better go play Lego's before he hates me," Brian stated.

"He won't hate you, and you don't have too. He needs to learn not all company is coming over to play with him," Olivia stated.

"No, it will keep my mind off things for just a few minutes." Brian smiled and walked into Noah's room and helped him build a tower.

Olivia sighed.

Raphael walked out of her room. He was fully dressed in a three-piece suit, and she forgot how much it turned her on, and her stomach flipped at his color coordination. She pulled him in and kissed him hard. She was putting her hands under his jacket, wanting nothing more to pull the buttoned-up shirt out from his pants.

"Liv, no time," Raphael stated.

"Then come back tonight," Olivia asked.

"Hmm, you have a good point," Raphael stated and kissed her neck, causing her to moan slightly and blush.

"Tonight Liv, I'm going to say bye to Noah." Olivia just nodded.

Raphael walked into Noah's room watching Brian fumbling around with the legos looking entirely out of his element but trying with the little boy.

"Daddy, come play legos with Brian and me." Raphael felt crushed.

"I would love to mijo, but I need to go to work. I'll be back tonight, though. We can play whatever you want." Raphael stated.

"Please don't go," Noah asked and came and hugged him.

"I'll be back tonight. You play with Brian, and I will be here tonight, okay."

"Okay, I love you," Noah stated.

'I love you too." Raphael claimed.

"Brian, if you need anything, don't hesitate," Raphael stated.

"You know you're good for them," Brian stated.

"Thanks," Raphael said, surprised. Brian would say something like that.

"Don't let her push you away," Brian stated.

Raphael was confused but assumed that Olivia had opened up to him about something.

"I'll keep that in mind," Raphael stated.

"I asked Liv to come to the funeral on Saturday," Brian claimed.

"She'll be there. I'll see you around." Raphael stated and walked out the door.

Brian continued to play with the little boy, and Olivia came and joined in until there was a knock at the door.

Brian took it has his queue to leave. He had seen Lucy, which he had seen once before.

"I'll let myself out," Brian claimed.

"Yeah, okay, I will see you Saturday, and if you need anything help with anything, it's a lot, and I know its hard, so I will do whatever I can for you," Olivia stated. She went and hugged the man and told him goodbye.

Lucy looked at Olivia's confusion in her eyes.

"He is here awfully early," Lucy claimed.

"It's not what you think. His mom died the other night. He came over last night. He slept on the couch. Raphael came home last night." Olivia stated.

"And if he wouldn't have come home last night," Lucy asked.

"Lucy!" Olivia yelled.

"I just don't want you, or Raphael hurt," Lucy admitted.

"Nothing would have happened. I care for Brian I do but nothing like Raphael." Olivia stated.

"That's all I wanted to hear," Lucy stated.

"So Noah's up early," Lucy stated.

"Yeah, he wasn't feeling well last night and went to sleep early.

"I'll keep that in mind," Lucy stated.

"Well, I am going in slightly early since you're here, and I don't know who will be home first. Raphael is over it with his orientation so.." Olivia stated.

"Alright, have a good day," Lucy stated.

Olivia walked into yet another busy day. She was, of course, behind as always. She remembered when there were four detectives herself included, and it felt never-ending, but with one less, it seemed even more daunting. She wished for a number 4 more than anything, but Dodds told her it wouldn't happen. So she sucked it up and tried her best to get things done on time. When things were late or, a case was stalled. She blamed it on the fact that they have never gotten a new detective. She was going through paperwork and talking, answering emails from other districts needing help in a way or another. She forgot all about Trevor Langan coming in that day. When he knocked on her door, she was surprised.

"Is now a good time?" Trevor asked.

"Uh good as any," Olivia stated.

"So, as Noah's attorney, I would like to know what I am doing here," Trevor asked.

"Yeah, about that. I was hoping you could draw up adoption paperwork." Olivia stated.

"For who?" Trevor asked.

"For Noah," Olivia stated.

Trevor gave her an odd look. He had no idea about the development in her relationship and was confused as to who would be adopting him.

"I understand that Olivia but whose adopting him, I mean," Trevor asked.

"Raphael Barba," Olivia stated.

"ADA BABY KILLER BARBA." He screamed.

"Don't even start," Olivia warned.

"Liv, you can't be serious," Trevor stated.

"I am, so are you going to draw up the paperwork, or am I getting Noah a new lawyer?" Olivia asked.

"If I may be so bold, what the hell are you thinking?" Trevor asked.

"I am thinking that Raphael Barba cares about Noah more than he does himself. He is hopelessly devoted to the boy, and Noah already calls him dad." Olivia explained.

"When did this happen, since when has Raphael Barba been involved with him," Trevor asked.

"On and off his whole life, but for the last 3ish months, we've been in a relationship, and he has been there for Noah more than I have, at least it feels that way," Oliva claimed.

"Listen, Liv, I know you've known the man for the last 6-7 years, but are you sure that for the next 11 years of this boy's life, you want him to have a say in everything about his life," Trevor asked.

"Not in particular, but I know he won't leave Noah, even if he leaves me," Olivia stated.

"Listen, Liv. He's your kid. I know you have a right but a full adoptive parent. Why not name him a legal guardian. It will get done quicker. He will basically have rights for the school medical accidents all the important stuff, but if something bad happens, and he's not the man you think he is, he wouldn't get visitation." Trevor stated.

"No, you and I both know that Raphael would see right through that. He is Noah's dad, and I want it legally binding." Olivia stated.

"You know it has to go through a judge," Trevor stated.

"Your point," Olivia asked.

"Listen, Liv, it did him no favors leaving the DA's office. Even though he was found not guilty doesn't mean that a judge isn't going to look down on this. You and I both know he is a good guy. Hell, he has tried so many cases to get justice for a whole lot of people, but I can't tell you that this is going to be easy." Trevor admitted.

"Nothing ever is," Olivia admitted.

"I know, I'm sorry. I will work on the paperwork. You and he will have to sign it. Maybe find a lawyer to represent him. I know its not usual, but it will give him better chances." Trevor stated.

"Yeah, of course. You'll let me know when the paperwork is ready?" Olivia asked.

"Of course," Trevor stated and turned out of the office.

Fin had seen Trevor walk in and heard the yelling.

"Everything okay, Liv?" Fin asked as he walked through the door.

"I don't know," Olivia admitted. The past 24 hours had taken a toll, and her brain was all over the place. She wanted nothing more to forget about the recent events in her life and trudge forward. Right now, her mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"I could use a good lunch. Join me?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, Fin, that sounds wonderful," Olivia admitted.

The two of them went to the Deli around the block. Olivia ordered roast beef, and Fin got a turkey on rye. The 2 of them sat in silence for a long time.

"Liv, what's going on?" Fin asked.

"I don't even know where to start," Olivia admitted.

"From the beginning." Fin stated.

"So Raphael has been at orientation all week they have been making him stay at NYU. I finally gave him my key." Olivia stated.

"You regret it?" Fin asked.

"No, it's just he was supposed to be there the whole week, but he said he didn't know if staying in some crummy apartment all week would work out, and he would try to sneak back to mine sometime in the week. Of course, the night he comes in, Brian is asleep on my lap on the couch." Olivia stated.

'You're cheating on Barba with Cassidy?" Fin asked.

"No! Of course not, his mom died. You know how Brian is he doesn't let a lot of people get close. We still talk, we're still friends. He knows about Raphael and me. He was just so broken. He fell asleep, and I wasn't waking him up." Olivia explained.

"Of course, Raphael was perfectly okay with the situation once I explained it," Olivia claims.

"And that bothers you?" Fin asked.

"I'm crazy if I say yes," Olivia asked.

Fin looked at her for a second.

"You wanted him to kick Cassidy out of your apartment, didn't you." Fin smiled.

"No, but I don't know it didn't seem to shock him that he was there," Olivia stated.

"Because he trusts you, Liv. It's not like he didn't question it. You know you would be pissed at him if he did something stupid, even if it was to Cassidy." Fin explained.

Olivia opened her mouth only to close it and opened it again, not able to form words.

"Listen, Liv, I get it, but you know if he would have lashed out, you would be pissed, and right now, you're pissed, so there was nothing Barba could have done that would have made you happy. You can't blame him for that." Fin stated.

"I know. I just wish I didn't feel this way." Olivia stated.

"Did you talk to him about all this," Fin asked.

"I mean sort of I mean I know , he knows nothing happened, and he was really nice to Brian yesterday. Brian was really nice to me yesterday. I guess I don't know he caught me off guard. I don't have feelings for Brian anymore, but we're friends, and he told me I deserve to be with Raphael." Olivia claimed.

"Was he serious, or was he sarcastic?" Fin asked.

"No, he was serious," Olivia stated.

"You're mad that he's over you." Fin stated.

"I am not," Olivia claimed.

"Liv, he hurt you, and just because your friends it doesn't mean you don't want him to hurt like he hurt you." Fin stated.

Olivia didn't say another word, and Fin dropped it.

"None of this explains why Lagen was in your office this morning." Fin mentioned.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything until it all gets worked out, but Raphael wants to adopt Noah," Olivia stated.

"Liv, that's great. I know he loves Noah, he admitted that before he ever admitted his feelings for you." Fin stated.

"I know, and that's why I agreed to it. Noah has been calling him dad. I want to make it legal, but Trevor thinks it might be difficult considering Raphael's case and suggested he get a lawyer." Olivia explained.

"It will work out, Liv." Fin assured.

Olivia and Fin walked back to the precinct. Olivia felt a little bit better about her life at the moment. She walked in looking at her desk the paperwork piled taller than she remembered. She sighed and got to work, filling out more forms and getting information on the latest case. Mom allowed her 14-year-old daughter to have a 22-year-old boyfriend. He was living in the house until police went and arrested him on a separate charge for assault. The sun was setting, and so was Olivia's patients at the office. She headed home for the day, desperate to see Noah and Raphael.

Olivia got home first Raphael stated that they were having dinner, and he would be about another hour. Apparently, the roommates he had in the apartment never noticed he was gone because they didn't stay the night either.

Olivia got back home and decided to order Chinese.

"So, you and James have any plans for the weekend?" Olivia asked.

"No, I don't think so, maybe just a quiet weekend in," Lucy stated.

"That sounds nice, take it when you can get it, with classes starting soon. I know you'll have a lot to study for," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, I hope his mom doesn't dump Analise on us. I love that little girl, but..." Lucy stated.

"I know, she's not yours, though. Imagine her in your life 24/7." Olivia laughed.

"I know. I'll see you later, Liv." Lucy stated as she left the apartment.

Raphael walked through the door at 7 pm. Olivia and Noah were curled on the couch, watching some cartoons.

"What's this?" Raphael asked.

"The Lion King!" Noah stated.

"Oh!" Raphael replied.

"It just started. It's another one of Noah's favorites." Olivia stated.

"Ever seen it?" Olivia asked.

"No," Raphael stated.

Olivia passed the tissue box.

Raphael lifted his brows.

"No matter how many times, I can't make it through," Olivia claimed.

Raphael watched in horror as the child's movie depicts the murder of Mufasa by his brother, only for his brother to then, in turn, blame baby Simba. He was denying the water that was pooling at the bottom of his eyes. He refused to cry over some dumb cartoon. He looked over at Olivia, who had tear streaks running down her face. She looked back at him.

"Told you," Olivia stated.

Raphael tried to comfort her, but Noah was between them, and he wasn't having it. The movie ended, and Olivia told Noah it was time for bed. He went and brushed his teeth and insisted that both adults come to read him a bedtime story.

Raphael and Olivia closed Noah's bedroom door.

"So, how was your day?" Olivia asked.

"Beter than yesterday, that's for sure. Today was back to the Law school for a meet and greet with all the other professors. It went well." Raphael stated.

"Good. I'm glad I talked to Trevor today about adoption paperwork." Olivia stated.

"And," Raphael asked.

"He suggested you get a lawyer," Olivia claimed.

"I'm sorry, what?" Raphael stated.

"Listen, he said it was out of precaution," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, I am sure Baby Killer ADA doesn't look good on adoption paperwork," Raphael stated.

"Hey! Don't talk like that! You're a good dad." Raphael.

Raphael stormed to the back bedroom, wishing he could lock Olivia out of her room, but he wouldn't do that to her.

"Rafa, please. Everyone is on your side." Olivia stated.

"Trevor says that?" Raphael asked.

"Not those exact words, but he said if I trusted you, he trusted you," Olivia stated.

"Great," Raphael stated.

"Hey, don't worry about it now, if it doesn't happen, we'll talk about it then," Olivia stated.

"If it doesn't happen, then I am not Noah's dad," Raphael stated.

"Raphael, that is not true, not one bit. You are his dad already. That piece of paper doesn't change how you feel about him or how he feels about you." Olivia stated.

"I know, but," Raphael stated.

"No, what-ifs. Whatever happens, we've got this." Olivia stated.

Raphael smiled at her. She kissed him. She wanted to take his mind off everything, and if touching him all over and allowing him to bury himself into her would make him feel better, she was going to let him. She needed it as much as he did. When they finished, and he held her close, she knew she all the fears from the day before were stupid. She knew that she would never want to leave his arms. She was kind enough because he was good enough. They could do this, she thought as she drifted to sleep.


	19. The Lion King

A/N: The latest rumor is Raul Espazara is coming back in some capacity to the show it could just be a 1-time thing. There was a picture posted but quickly taken down of him and producer, with what looked like a map of the building they were in with his name on one of the rooms, like a dressing room! I hope so. I want to thank everyone for the reviews I appreciate it.

"Please, Liv, you said it yourself. It's slow at the office, and I really want some time with you and Noah before he and I both go to school," Raphael stated.

Raphael had been begging since Friday for Olivia to take a few days off, but she had been saying no. It was now Monday morning.

"Fine, Noah's party is Saturday, and it would be nice to have a few days before it gets all hectic here." She admitted.

"If nothing pops up, then I'm yours the rest of the week," Olivia stated.

"Okay, well, Noah wanted to go to my apartment today. I'll see you there?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah. Have fun," Olivia claimed. She kissed Noah and Raphael goodbye and went on her way.

The day was once again slow Carsi and Rollins were working a case, and Fin was going over a cold case from about two years ago. Olivia was finished up with paperwork and helped Fin on the cold case. They had gotten it from the backlog of DNA kits, but unfortunately, none of the DNA had been a hit, and there wasn't much they could do without any new evidence.

Olivia waited for Carisi and Rollins to come back. There had been no new information in the current case and no known witnesses. Olivia decided to send everyone home for the day, announcing she wouldn't be in the rest of the week and just needed downtime. Fin went up to her door.

"So everything okay with you and Barba?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, he's asked me to take a few days off, and for once, I agree that I need them," Olivia stated.

"Well, enjoy your time, don't worry about the department. We got it covered," Fin stated.

"Speaking of you haven't had some time off in a while. When I come back, why don't you take a few days for yourself." Olivia asked.

"It would be nice to see my grandson for a while." Fin stated.

"Then it's settled. You just tell me when," Olivia stated.

"Will do." Fin replied.

The 2 of them took the elevator down together and left heading in opposite directions.

Olivia made it to Raphael's apartment. She didn't have a key and knocked on the door.

The living room was a complete disaster.

There was paint everywhere. Both Raphael and Noah were covered in it. Raphael somehow more so than Noah, and now his door handle was blue. Olivia had no clue what to say. They were both smiling wide, and Olivia wasn't sure she wanted to know what had to lead up to the events that made his living room look like an abstract painting.

"So, which one of you is going to be the next Van Gough?" Olivia asked.

Raphael laughed.

"We're just having some fun, Liv," Raphael stated.

Olivia looked at the large crate paper on the floor, taking most of the space. There were colors of all sorts all over the place, and fingerprints and footprints large blocks of color and lines everywhere. She wasn't sure Raphael realized how long it would take to dry and clean up, but she wasn't going to ruin there fun. She stayed in the kitchen and looked on wondering if Raphael had enough paper towels to clean the mess up.

The two boys finished up Raphael stated that they were almost done anyways. Raphael went to kiss Olivia, but she backed away.

"Not until you've showered, and even though that says washable, good luck with that," Olivia stated.

"Noah, you need to take a bath," Olivia stated.

"Oh, mom!" He groaned.

"I'll help get the dried paint out of your hair," Olivia stated.

Raphael went and showered as Oliva filled the tub in the main bathroom. Raphael scrubbed at a patch of blue on his arm. The paint itself came off quickly, but there was a blue tinge to his skin. Same with the red, and any other darker color. He hoped his furniture wouldn't hold the same fate. He continued to scrub and washed his hair with extra shampoo hoping nothing was left in it and wished Olivia was helping him instead of Noah at the moment.

Olivia had Noah cleaned up quicker than Raphael had showered. Noah told her that Raphael had brought him pajamas just in case they stayed. She went to the kitchen to find his bag and pulled out the pajamas.

Noah was clean, but the same couldn't be said for the living room. Olivia got a roll of paper towels and a multi-surface cleaner. She helped Noah scrub the paint away from the living room, and soon enough, Raphael joined in. Nothing had stained, and the painting they had made had dried.

"Let's hang this up, mijo," Raphael stated.

"Where is that going?" Olivia asked.

"It's too big for the Fridge." Noah pointed out.

"I have the perfect place. Raphael stated.

He opened the room that was once his office.

Inside there was a bed. He had left all the bookshelves except where Noah's bed was. He had green sheets on the couch with a Big Hero 6 blanket.

"Rafa!" Olivia stated.

"Noah, this is your room from now on, okay," Raphael stated.

"Raphael, you didn't have too." Olivia started.

"I wanted it too. I want him to think of this as home as much as your place Liv." Raphael stated.

"Wow, dad, this is so cool!" Noah stated.

"You can bring some toys over put them on the shelves," Raphael explained.

"Yeah, that sounds cool!" Noah stated.

The 3 of them hung the paper on the shelf towards the back wall. Noah loved it. The three of them spent the rest of the day playing, watching cartoons, and enjoying their time with each other.

That night Raphael looked over at Olivia as they were settling down for bed.

"How do you think Noah would do at a play?" Raphael asked.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Well I was thinking, has he ever been to a Broadway play," Raphael asked.

"Rafa, he's 6," Olivia stated.

"Almost 7 Raphael pointed out."

"Almost 7, so no, he hasn't been to see a Broadway play," Olivia stated.

"What do you think about tomorrow evening going to see The Lion King," Raphael asked.

"Well, I guess that's a good way to expose him," Olivia stated.

"Now that it's settled, I'll look into tickets. Raphael pulled his phone off the nightstand, looking for seats. There were 3 in the center slightly stage left five rows back and purchased the tickets.

"Done," Raphael stated.

"Early dinner at Junior's, okay?" Raphael asked.

"Sounds perfect," Olivia stated.

Raphael wrapped Olivia in his arms for a moment before resting his arm on her side. She pushed her body against his making sure that their whole bodies touched one another and fell asleep.

Morning came to Raphael Barba's apartment, and when he padded into the kitchen, he saw Noah looking out the windows.

"Hey, mijo, how long have you been up?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know," Noah stated.

"Did you sleep okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Noah replied.

Raphael looked around his kitchen. He had nothing for breakfast other than cereal and a little bit of milk. He let Noah pick out of the two boxes he had and poured him a bowl. He expected Olivia to be awake before him but was surprised when she didn't move as he went to the bathroom. He looked out the windows that they all loved watching as people walked around the park, and looking further out to the water. He had wanted to surprise Noah with the Lion King. He hoped the boy loved it as much as he loved theater.

He looked over at the stacks of law books he had at the end of the bar. He couldn't believe that in less than two weeks, he would be using them for law school. He knew he could do it. It was terrifying though it was something new, and after being with the DA for 21 years, he wasn't sure he knew anything else. Raphael looked on as Noah was spellbound by the window. His coffee was made, and he decided to make Olivia a cup ask well.

Olivia woke up alone. She was always surprised by how easily she could sleep in Raphael's bed. She rolled over in the bed. She stretched out and remembered that they were taking Noah to see The Lion King. She knew Raphael liked theater and had gone to see Hamilton multiple times. She saw him miss Wicked after a case she had called him out too. Olivia herself had been to numerous broadway plays, but it wasn't until later on in her life she took the artistic expression to heart. Of course, once she started going, Lewis happened, and Nick left, and she didn't dare pay such a price for seating if she was going to be called in the middle. She had seen 1 or 2 plays since then, and even though there would be plenty of children, she felt like she was dipping her toes back in, and she felt excited.

She walked out to see a steaming cup of coffee ready for her.

"I gave Noah the last of my milk, hope the coffee is good enough for breakfast," Raphael stated.

"You realize coffee is my breakfast 90% of the time?" Olivia asked.

"You and me both," Raphael stated.

"So when you've been making breakfast, you're just trying to make yourself look good?" Olivia asked.

"Prety much," Raphael stated.

Olivia laughed and leaned in to kiss him.

"We're going to have to head back to my apartment later. I texted Lucy to meet us here. I figured maybe we could have the afternoon to ourselves?" Olivia stated.

"Mmm, that sounds nice," Raphael stated as he leaned his forehead up against hers and used his free hand to pull her close. Olivia leaned into him. She felt relaxed here; she wasn't sure if it was because of him or Noah being so at ease. All Olivia knew was that she never needed anyone like she needed Raphael Barba, and if she had to admit that it scared her.

Lucy knocked on the door a short while later. Olivia opened the door, and this was the first look Lucy had into Raphael's apartment. She loved the dark tones and of course, the vast windows. She felt that this suited not only Raphael but Olivia as well and thought that this was so inviting. Olivia's apartment was fine, but it was bright and normal. Raphael's apartment had character, and she could easily see Olivia moving into the space. She could tell it was a bachelor pad of sorts. It wasn't dirty, it was the opposite, and although it had some personal touches, it wasn't homey.

Noah saw Lucy in the apartment and screamed  
"LUCY COME SEE MY NEW ROOM!"

Lucy laughed and was sort of confused, but she walked with the little boy into the room he said was his. She was shocked at the storage space of shelves but could easily see his toys lining the back wall his books on the shelf to the right of the bed — some bigger plush to the left. His clothing could go to section along the wall the side, and she could quickly see this change as he grew up displaying his prized possessions. She saw the large abstract art that was now hanging and smiled. She knew Raphael meant a lot to him. She was happy that Olivia was allowing Raphael to be his dad.

They walked back out into the living room.

"Can you take Noah for the afternoon we'll meet back at my apartment around 3 pm," Olivia stated.

Olivia whispered in Lucy's ear, the surprise Raphael had planned for him.

"Are you sure about that?" Lucy asked.

"Well, Raphael bought the tickets, so it's on him if not," Olivia stated.

"Okay, well, I will see you at three then," Lucy stated.

Olivia and Raphael but hugged and kissed Noah goodbye. As Lucy closed the door, Noah could be heard asking to walk around Battery Park.

Raphael refilled his and Olivia's cups of coffee. They were both still in pajamas. She sipped a little and walked over to the overly large window. Raphael set his mug down and came up behind her.

"Hey I'm behind you, I'm going to wrap my arms around you," Raphael stated just so she knew.

She leaned back into him as both arms wrapped around her waist. They stood there for some time as Olivia sipped on her coffee. Raphael eventually started kissing her neck, causing Olivia almost to spill her coffee. She moaned out in pleasure, and Raphael continued kissing and snaked his hands around, pushing them under her sweatpants and rubbing her inner thighs. Olivia was buzzing with the feelings of his hands. She closed her eyes and leaned into him to keep her steady. Raphael was more than happy to oblige, and when he finally touched her, she was soaked. Raphael wasn't quite sure how Olivia Benson was all his. Raphael wished he could see her face but wasn't going to stop. She was obviously enjoying it. He could feel himself painfully hard by the time she climaxed, and he knew she could feel it too.

Olivia turned around, facing him. Her face was flush, her pupils dilated.

"Rafa, I need you," she whispered, and Raphael almost lost it then. She pushed him into a chair in the living room, and she was instantly on top of him. Raphael was autopilot, he soon noticed they had taken off each other's clothes, and they were both nude. He grabbed at her breasts, and she found a position to sit on top of him, and he knew then that he would never look at this chair the same way again. When he finished, he couldn't move. He was entirely spent, and he wasn't too sure his legs would allow him to stand. Olivia laughed at the look at his face when they were done.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself," Olivia claimed.

"Mmm" was all he could get out. Olivia finally got off of him and pulled her t-shirt and sweatpants back on. Raphael sat in a daze for a few more minutes before he too got dressed. Raphael found Olivia eating some chips in the kitchen.

"I need to go to the store. I'm not sure how I ran out of groceries." Raphael stated.

"Well, you have been worried about work, and last week you were either at NYU or my apartment so, I think you get a pass," Olivia mentioned.

"I think we should both get cleaned up and go to the bodega," Raphael claimed.

"I don't know if I have anything here to wear," Olivia mentioned.

"You do," Raphael stated, and she went back to the bedroom looking at three outfits she had left at some point in the relationship. She wasn't sure when she had left them there but was glad she did. She picked out an outfit and went to the shower. Raphael knew he would get handsy if he joined her, so he pulled some fruit snacks from his nightstand at picked at them, waiting for his turn.

Olivia and Raphael went and picked up food, and Olivia realized how many snacks Raphael got. He did get full meals she noticed, but he had candy, cookies, crackers, beef jerky, fruit snacks. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered how he ate a full meal. He grabbed a jar of mixed nuts, and Olivia shook her head. Raphael noticed.

"I like to have options," Raphael stated.

"I can see that," Olivia claimed.

Olivia and Raphael finished up the shopping trip. They went to his apartment and had lunch. They talked about Noah's party this coming Saturday. They talked about the fact the Lion King ended an hour past his bedtime. Raphael hoped Noah would enjoy his time, and the next show he went to would be an afternoon performance. They talked about school, starting both for him and Noah. Noah began to school the following Thursday. Before either, one of them noticed it was 2:30, and they needed to move if they were going to get to Olivia's apartment and get ready to have an early dinner.

Raphael and Olivia make it to Junior's on time, and at the end of the meal, Raphael is insistent they all get cheesecake. Olivia agrees but picks at hers after eating a large meal. Noah and Raphael have no problems finishing their pieces. They get to theater with 30 minutes to spare, and Raphael explained to Noah what a musical was. Noah seemed excited, and Raphael showed him pictures on his phone, so he knew what to expect. Noah asked a bunch of questions, and Raphael explained like a movie once it started, he had to be quiet. Noah agreed, and when it began, and all the animals came out, Noah's eyes lit up.

It was intermission Noah was excitingly talking about all he had just seen. Raphael was happy that Noah was excited, and Olivia could barely keep up with Noah's thought process. Raphael seemed to take it in stride and answered Noah's questions. Noah admitted he was tired but insisted he wouldn't get grumpy if they stayed for the rest.

Once the play was over, Noah was once again excited. By the time they made it on the subway to get back to Olivia's apartment, Noah was fighting sleep. They barely made it into the apartment Noah didn't even want to take off his shoes before going to bed.

"So I think that was pretty successful," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, I think your right." Raphael agreed.

"Well, what are you taking him to see next?' Olivia asked.

"Aladdin?" Raphael asked.

"Maybe I don't know if he has ever seen the movie, but we can fix that," Olivia mentioned.

Raphael and Olivia sat on the couch, Olivia had her cell phone checking emails, and Raphael was caught up in a law magazine. As the night went on even though they were doing separate things, Olivia leaned into Raphael, who would reposition to make sure they were both comfortable by the end of the night Olivia was almost entirely on top of him. He smiled at the weight of her body, pushing him into the couch.

Olivia finally pulled herself up and urged Raphael to come to bed. He had finished his magazine a while ago, but he had a lot on his mind.

"I'll be in soon." He stated.

Olivia nodded and got ready for bed, wondering what Raphael was doing. As time ticked on, Olivia couldn't get to sleep. Raphael was still not in the room. She wanted to give him space, though, so she sighed and shifted around a few times, trying to get comfortable and finally fell into a fitful sleep.

Raphael didn't know why he didn't want to go lay down with Olivia. He had been anxious. He guessed he got this way from time to time. Nothing particular happened to make him feel this way. He was just out of sync with himself. He wasn't mad or sad or upset. If anything, he was pleased, and he closed his eyes and thought that maybe that's why he felt the way he did right now. Raphael Barba couldn't say that he had never been happy. Overall he had been very happy in his adult life, but the last few years and to be honest the previous year had been extremely rough. He never knew that a family life existed for him, but here it was now. He didn't want this, not by a long shot. When he turned 35, he was quite sure he had given up on a relationship. He was married to his job, and it was good enough for him. At the time, it was still thrilling to win a case and still heartbreaking when he lost. It was enough of a relationship at the time. When he met Olivia, though, she gave a second life to him. He had loved her after knowing her for about two weeks, but he wasn't in love with her at the time. When he saw her and Brian's relationship, it made him want one too. He could see how hard she was working. He knew it had been a careful balance but saw they were working out.

Raphael laughed at the fact that he was thinking about Olivia and Brian. He closed his eyes and thought back to when he was in the apartment so recently. He knew Brian and Olivia were still close, and if he had, to be honest, it worried him. Raphael trusted Olivia, he wasn't a massive fan of Brian, and he knew why they had separated, but he still couldn't shake it. He was scared that one day she would run back to him. He knew it wasn't fair to him or her for him to think like that. If he was being truthful with himself, he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was too happy right now. He hated he felt this way, and he didn't want to worry Olivia needlessly. He walked over to the kitchen and reached on top of the fridge finding the scotch. He found a glass and poured himself a drink.

Raphael's stomach was empty, and the alcohol hit a little harder than usual, he wasn't drunk but pleasantly buzzed after he finished his second drink and he could feel the heat all over his body. He decided it was finally time to go lay down.

He took off his suit and folded it neatly, putting it on the chair in Olivia's room. He padded to the bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

Raphael hadn't meant to wake her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, just coming to bed now," Raphael mentioned.

"Okay," Olivia stated, backing off it was too late to have any conversation tonight.

Raphael got into bed, and Olivia pressed her body against his pulling him tightly into her.

"I love you, Liv," Raphael stated.

"love you." Olivia sighed out, before falling asleep and loosening her grip of him.


	20. Noah's Birthday

The rest of Olivia and Raphael's days off seemed to blur into quick motion. Noah's birthday party on Saturday was wild, to say the least, Olivia allowed him to invite some friends knowing not all the kids would be able to make it. She let him invite ten, and much to her surprise, eight showed up. Of course, her whole team was on hand, and even Don had dropped by. Although she talked to Don regularly, she tended to skirt around her relationships. Of course, she eventually had admitted to him she was seeing someone and that Noah was very close to him, but she never admitted that it was Raphael Barba.

When Don walked through the door, he smiled at all the kids running around. They were playing a game Don wasn't familiar with, and Olivia was at the door laughing.

"Hey, Don!" Olivia stated.

She instantly hugged him.

"Grandpa, Don!" Noah screamed, and he laughed as Noah ran to him, hugging him.

"Hey buddy, it looks like your having fun," Don stated.

"Hey, dad, look whose here!" Noah squealed.

Don was shocked at the words and just looked at Olivia, who was staring back at him.

Raphael had heard Noah. He had been walking out of the bathroom when he heard Noah.

"Whose here, Mijo?" Raphael asked as he turned the corner.

Raphael stopped.

He knew that Don and Liv were close and knew very well that Noah called Don Grandpa. He looked as Olivia still was staring at Don. Knowing full well, she had never brought it up. He wasn't upset, but neither of them thought about how this would look to Don.

"Liv, why didn't you say anything?" Don asked.

"I honestly don't know. You know Rafa," Olivia stated.

"Of course, it's good to see you again," Don stated.

"Sorry, I know it had to be a bit of a surprise," Raphael claimed.

"Don't be, you all look happy, I can't ask for anything more," Don claimed.

There was another knock on the door. Olivia went to answer it and was Lucia.

"Where's the birthday boy?" She asked, not even saying hello to Raphael or Olivia and walked straight over to him.

Raphael laughed at the fact he was now no longer his mother's favorite.

"I'm sorry, mijo," she instantly realized she hadn't even bothered to glance at her son. She turned around and hugged him.

"You still haven't bothered to bring Noah or Olivia over," Lucia stated.

Don and Olivia gave a knowing glance that Raphael Barba was in trouble. The rest of her team was in the living room but heard Lucia's comment, and they did all they could to repress a giggle.

Don sat next to Fin on the couch. Amanda and Carasi were on the floor as were most of the kids. Lucia was still in the kitchen with Raphael. Noah and his friends started playing another game, but now everyone was there. Olivia went to cut the cake. Noah refused to be sung, too, and Olivia was slightly relieved. He blew out the candles, though. Amanda was taking plenty of photos. Olivia looked around the room, happy that everyone seemed to be having a good time. She had overheard Dalton say a few mean things to the other kids. Why Noah and Dalton were so close, Olivia wasn't quite sure. The other kids seem to brush him off, though, so she couldn't complain. She looked at the clock the party was almost over people should be picking up their kids in about an hour.

She insisted no one bring presents for Noah, and almost everyone complied, the kids all brought him birthday cards. Don, of course, had bought him something as did Fin. Amanda and Carasi both brought cards. She wouldn't have Noah open anything while the other kids were there. She had bought him a few games for the kids to play. Olivia insisted that The Lion King and his new bedroom was plenty enough. Olivia didn't know, but there was a rather large lego set sitting on one of the shelves in Noah's bedroom at Raphael's home.

Olivia was talking to Carasi when her phone rang. She looked at the number and sighed,

"Benson," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, no, I understand. No, it's okay. Of course. We're on our way." Olivia stated.

"Duty calls." Don simply stated.

"At the worst times," Olivia claimed.

"Fin, do you mind coming with me?" Olivia asked.

"No, of course not Liv." Fin claimed.

"Please don't leave on my account stay," Olivia stated.

"Do you need us to come in?" Amanda asked.

"I need you to stay because I don't think Raphael can handle nine kids for 2 minutes, let alone 55," Olivia claimed.

Amanda laughed.

Don took this as his queue to leave.

"Please stay, Don. Catch up with Noah. He misses you." Olivia claimed.

Don's face fell.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much." He quickly stated.

"No, don't it's my fault. It has been a bit of a whirlwind. It will be for the next couple of months. You're welcome here anytime I mean that." Olivia stated.

"I know," Don stated.

"I'll stay, you be careful." He stated.

Olivia nodded.

She went to her bedroom, got her gun out of the safe, grabbed her badge. She kissed Raphael goodbye. She hugged Noah tightly.

"Go get the bad guys, mommy!" Noah stated.

"I'll try," Olivia claimed.

Don smiled and said, "I'll see you soon."

The rest of the group waved goodbye, and she and Fin walked towards her car.

"Liv, you know me and Amanda or Carasi, could have come out." Fin stated.

"No, the chief told me I needed to be there specifically, and he told me to bring someone else along. It looks like we have two vics, sisters, and he needed two people for separate interviews." Olivia stated.

When Olivia and Fin arrived, there were two girls in the conference room. A police officer informed them they both came in, but the older one Julie was super hesitant to talk. The younger one Sara seemed to have something going on, that officer couldn't quite pinpoint. Olivia and Fin came in, spoke to the girls together just for a moment, and Olivia took to her office, and Fin stayed in the conference room with Sara.

"Okay, Julie, So you and you're sister were both attacked?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, sort of," Julie claimed.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Well, I mean, he knew us, you know. He has since I was 14, and Sara was 13." Julie started.

"So you know who did this?" Olivia stated.

"Yeah, it was Lucas Rays."

"How do you know him," Olivia asked.

Julie sucked in her breath.

"Just take your time," Olivia stated

"When we were kids, we went to the same church," Julie said.

"How old is Lucas?" Olivia asked

"25," Julie claimed.

"and how old are you?" Olivia asked.

"22," Julie claimed.

"alright, and you knew him from church when you were kids?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, we dated a while. He." Julie had tears streaming down her face, but the sobs and the cries didn't come.

"I lost my virginity to him." Julie finished.

"Everyone told me he was no good." Julie started.

"So is this the first time he attacked you," Olivia asked.

"No, but it's the first time he's attacked, my sister." Julie shared.

"Okay, just tell me everything you can about him and you and Sara," Olivia asked.

"Where do I begin?" Julie asked.

"How about when you met him," Olivia stated.

"Wow, okay. Well I know this sounds bad, but I was at a party I was 14, and a friend of mine was having a party. She introduced me to Lucas. He is handsome — well-built light brown hair, ice blue eyes. My friend didn't supply alcohol, but plenty of people brought it, including him. I was a freshman, and he was junior, should be senior. He asked me if I wanted a drink, he had a bottle of whiskey in his hands. I wanted him to like me, so I drank from the bottle. It didn't take me to much to get drunk. We started talking. He told me how messed up his life was, and I told him how equally screwed up mine was, too, and we bonded over that, I guess. We kissed but nothing more. After that night, for whatever reason, we became each other's secret keepers. Whenever my step-dad beat my mom, I called him. Whenever his mom was high as a kite, he'd call me.

I took him with me to church. I thought I could save him. I felt that we could go to church, and if we prayed hard enough, it would be okay, but night after night, day after day, nothing seemed to change. He would make rude remarks in the youth group, and the youth pastor knew. He knew how messed up his life was, and how I desperately was trying to save him. He warned me. Told me he was much too old for me and that soon enough he would be an adult. I didn't listen. Two weeks later, when his mom left him for what going on the 3rd day in a row on some binge, I went over, and we had sex, and that was it. It was the first time in a long time I truly felt connected to anyone. I craved his body after that. I had this dream in my head that I could fix him if we could getaway. We could fix each other.

Needless to say, it didn't work, and he was pulling me down more than I could ever pull him up. It was one night at a party we were both drunk. He had been kissing me hard and had his hands down my pants. I wanted it, but not there. I ask if his mom was home. He said no, so I asked to go back to his place, but he said: "he was already ready." I told him no multiple times, but he pushed me in the bathroom, and that's the first time he raped me." Julie claimed.

"How many times has he raped you?" Olivia asked.

"That I know of 12," Julie stated.

"How many after he had turned 18?"

"3 times," Julie confessed

"Tell me more about those," Olivia stated.

"Well, after the first time, I broke up with him. I told him that I couldn't trust him. I told my youth pastor. I begged him not to report it. He told me he had a duty. I have no clue what happened, but no one ever came and talked to me. He told my mom, and I had never been so embarrassed in my whole life. Lucas didn't come to church anymore, and I was grateful. I thought I had moved on. But three months later it was his birthday, and he texts me. His mom was high as a kite threatening to kill him. She didn't even know it was his birthday. I told him to go hang out with some friends, but he said they wouldn't understand. I was so stupid. I went, and I forgave him. I acted as nothing happened at all. We had sex that night. The next time he raped me was about two months later. We were at his house. My parents knew what he did, so they had no idea I was even seeing him. I had made so many excuses, and my grades were good, so they had no reason to believe I was still hanging out with him. He and his mom had a big blow out, and she threw him a bottle of pills. She told him, "he would understand if he just took one." The bottle was sitting there when I came in. He didn't take any, but I was just so angry with everything. With his mom, for my parents not knowing where I was what I was doing. I didn't even tell him what I did, but I took 2 of whatever they were, and I had I don't know how much beer with him. I passed out I don't remember anything but being so sore in the morning. I blamed myself for that time. He never said a word about it, and I didn't either. The next time it happened was graduation. He had just barely graduated. His mom had shown up sober to the commencement, and he was so excited. He took me home, and she was there, he was holding me, and I kept pushing him away because he was doing things to me right in front of his mother. I kept pushing him away, but he wouldn't quit. His mom threw him $20 and told him to get a pizza, and she was going out. I was already mad at him and told him I was leaving too. He told me no and pinned up against the wall. He pushed my pants down, and he was inside me before I could even move. I told him to stop, but he didn't, and as soon as he was done, I walked out, and I told him "never again." I should have known better. I didn't seem him again until last year. He texted me out of the blue. He told me who he was and that he was sorry. He told me that he was "fucked up," but he is better now. He told me that after that night, he went and got help. He said he went to AA and went to therapy. He explained how he was in a serious relationship now and that he just had to let me know he turned out okay. I just messaged him back and told him I was glad he was okay.

He asked if we could meet up, and I told him no. He said he understood, and he wouldn't bother anymore. A few months later, he texted me and told me he broke up with his girlfriend and felt like drinking. I told him to go to AA or call his therapist, but he said he already had, and that didn't work. I told him to call his therapist and tell them that. He said he was too afraid he'd in up in a behavioral health unit, so I met him at some bar. I didn't drink. He didn't either. He was crying and telling me how sorry he was. How no one ever loved him as I did. That's when he kissed me. I told him, no but we were in a back booth, and it was a Monday no one was around he wrapped around close and told me he missed me. I tried to move, but I couldn't and tried to scream, but nothing came out, and he pulled down my pants, and he must have already had his pants open, he put his fingers inside and said: "just like I remembered." I got away then, and I just ran away crying. I never talked to him or saw him again until today. He attacked my sister and me. We were in central park. I saw him first, and I told my sister we needed to turn around. She was asking me why, and that's when he noticed us.

He just screamed, "you bitch." and came at us.

Luckily there was a police officer nearby and witnessed everything. He got to him before he could do any real damage. That's when I told the police officer he was an ex from a long time ago. I told him he's hurt me before and he brought me and my sister here." Julie explained.

"Are you willing to testify about all this," Olivia asked.

"Do I have too?" Julie asked.

"Well, he'll be charged with your assault today, but the rapes, he's looking at a lot of years," Olivia stated.

"Can't he just go somewhere and get help?" Julie asked.

"I think he tried," Olivia stated.

Julie just cried hysterically at that point.

"Let me talk to my Sargent. We can talk about this later," Olivia stated.

"Can me and my sister just go home," Julie asked.

"Of course," Olivia claimed.

Olivia saw Fin and Sara in the main area. They were talking about college football teams and the upcoming season, Olivia wasn't surprised Fin was making small talk, but the subject was surprising.

Julie hugged her sister.

"We'll be in touch," Olivia claimed.

The girls took the elevators.

Fin followed Olivia into her office.

"So, what's your read on Sara?" Olivia asked.

"She is leaving a lot out." Fin stated.

"What did she have to say?" Olivia asked.

"Basically Lucas was Julie's boyfriend, he raped her Julie when they were both teenagers, but nothing was done. She knew her sister was sneaking around hanging out with him again but claims Julie has always been "the golden child" she said she knew Lucas was no good and told her sister, but when she didn't listen, she didn't care. Said she didn't know why Lucas attacked them today, but he was angry." Fin explained.

"Well, according to Julie Lucas raped her nine times, all before turning 18, and then three times after that," Olivia stated.

"12 times," Fin asked.

"That's what she says," Olivia stated.

"I think he's good for the three after he turned 18. She has a savior complex. Still thinks he can "be saved." I don't know if she'll testify." Olivia claimed.

Fin looked down at his watch. They had been there a little over an hour.

"Want to get the paperwork started or wait until Monday?" Fin asked.

"Just the initial report, it shouldn't be long," Olivia stated.

Fin nodded his head went over to his desk, wrote out his report, and even though he had way less information Olivia only took 5 minutes longer.

"Let me take you home." Fin stated.

"Thanks, Fin," Olivia stated.

They said goodnight to the other officers lingering about and took the elevator down to the car.

"Thanks for everything today," Olivia stated.

"No need to thank me." Fin stated.

"If you don't mind me prying everything okay with you and Barba?"

"Yes, Fin, everything is fine."

"You hear back about a court date?" Fin asked.

"No, not yet." Olivia signed.

"You know Barba's already his dad." Fin stated.

"I know he is," Olivia exclaimed.

"Are you okay with that," Fin asked.

"I have to admit I'm a bit jealous of how easily Noah just wanted it. I'll never forget the day he told me he wanted Lucy to be his mother. I cried that night." Olivia admitted.

"You know he was like 4 Liv." Fin pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. Rafa turned his old office into a bedroom for Noah." Olivia stated.

"You been staying there a lot?" Fin asked.

"Not enough," Olivia confessed.

"Once school gets back in for both him and Noah, things will calm down." Fin stated.

"I hope so," Olivia stated.

Fin and Olivia rode the rest of the way to her apartment in silence.

"You want to come up for a drink?" Olivia asked.

"Nah, not tonight. I'll see you Monday." Fin stated.

"Night Fin," Olivia stated.

She walked up to the apartment. The boys should all be gone. Noah would either still be bouncing off the walls or so tired he could barely move. She walked up to the apartment and opened the door. She was surprised to see Amanda and Jesse still there as well as Dalton.

Raphael grabbed Olivia and stepped back into the hallway before saying anything.

"Dalton's mom never showed up we can't find her, Carasi is on it now. He went over to their apartment. We just told him that his mom wanted him to be able to have more fun with Noah." Raphael explained.

Olivia nodded and checked her phone, making sure she hadn't missed any calls or texts, she hadn't.

She didn't know Dalton's mother very well. Dalton lives in the next apartment building over. He and Noah had the same class together last year, and they see each other at the park a lot. She knew his mom's name was Tiffany, and she was a manager at a local diner. She worked a lot, and her sister Tonya who had multiple children of her own, often watched him. She didn't have away to get a hold of Tonya, though.

Olivia walked back in texted Carsi asking why he hadn't called or texted back she knew it didn't take that long to get over to her apartment.

Finally, Carasi texted her.

"Liv, what do I do she's drunk." Carasi texted.

"Tell her Dalton is here and that he can stay as the night," Olivia stated quickly.

"Write it down for her in case she forgets." Olivia texted back.

"Tell her not to try to get him until she's sober." Olivia texted quickly again.

"Everything okay?" Amanda asked.

Olivia looked at her and shook her head.

"Hey, Noah, how do you feel if Dalton has a sleepover?"

Noah smiled.

"That would be cool!" Noah stated.

"You guys can have the pull-out couch, and watch movies," Olivia stated.

"As late as we want?" Noah asked.

"As late as you want," Olivia claimed knowing that at least Noah would pass out by 9:30 pm.

Dalton walked away from Noah and up to Olivia.

"Mommy's drinking again isn't she?" Dalton asked.

Olivia looked at the little boy.

"This isn't the first time your mom hasn't came and got you, is it?" Olivia asked.

"No." Dalton shook his head.

"It's okay. You can stay here tonight, okay," Olivia stated.

Dalton hugged Olivia, and that's when she broke.

"It will be okay," Olivia stated. She had tears streaming down her face. She quickly wiped them, but Raphael noticed.

"Hey, Noah, why don't you and Dalton go play in your room with the race track grandpa Don got you," Raphael stated.

"Yeah, okay!" Noah stated.

"Liv, what's wrong," Raphael asked.

Amanda looked up and saw Liv but stayed back with Jesse knowing she would find out soon enough knowing it had to do with Dalton.

"Carasi found her drunk. When Dalton came up to me, he knew." Olivia stated.

Raphael just nodded his head, knowing what she had gone through with her mother. She told him snippets of her life as a child, but not a lot. Most of it was stories of her drunk mother; some of it was happier times but mainly the multiple stories of her incidents with her mother. Raphael held her for a few minutes until she could stop the tears from falling, and at that time, Carasi knocked on the door.

He could tell Liv's eyes were red and swollen but said nothing. He knew Olivia's mom had her own drinking problem but didn't know the details. Finally, Amanda figured out what going on Jesse was asleep on the couch. She and Liv talked for a few seconds alone. Carasi and Raphael whispered as well.

"So it's nothing unusual," Raphael stated.

"I guess not." Carasi agreed.

"You guys are welcome to stay for dinner," Olivia stated to Amanda and Sonny.

"No, we've already got the cake out of you." Amanda laughed.

"Besides, I just want to get Jesse home, and Carasi is my ride so," Amanda stated.

"I guess that's my cue." Carasi laughed.

He didn't say a word as he picked up Jesse of the couch and into his arms. She moved but fell right back asleep. Amanda and Olivia looked at him and shared the same expression.

He just shook his head.

"Night, if you need anything. Let me know." Amanda stated as she walked out the door.

Olivia shut the door, waving them off sort of happy Amanda declined.

"Can you watch them for a little bit I just need a minute," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, of course," Raphael stated.

He went into the bedroom, seeing that the boys successfully set up the race track and let the cars down the track.

Olivia walked into the bedroom. She was so mad at Dalton's mother she didn't know where she was. Dalton was starved for attention, and she didn't understand how she didn't see it sooner. She knew a little bit too much for a 7-year-old, but that could be for a whole lot of reasons. She just thought if one of Noah's friends came home, she would instantly know. She figured his mom wasn't the world's best parent, and he was a handful. Now she knew Dalton's mom was an alcoholic. She wondered how long its been going on. He didn't have a dad. Maybe his mom was raped too. She knew it was unlikely. She knew she needed to calm down, but her mind was racing with thoughts of how long things have been this way for Dalton. If there was a chance for his mother, would he end up like her? She laid in the bed, overthinking every time she had an interaction with Dalton. It wasn't until she heard a knock on the door that she realized she dozed off and was having a dream in which she was watching Dalton live out some of her experiences as a child.

She got up quickly and opened the bedroom door to see Raphael.

"Hey, it's getting close to dinner time," Raphael stated.

Olivia just leaned into him. He was rubbing her back.

"Order pizza." She stated.

"Sounds good. I'm going to get the sofa pulled out for the boys." Raphael stated.

"No, let me, you've been taking care of them all afternoon. Check to see what Dalton likes on his pizza." Olivia stated.

Raphael ordered one cheese and one pepperoni pizza. Olivia had a new sheet on the pull-out and went to the closet to grab two pillows and two blankets for the boys. They were still in Noah's bedroom, but Olivia knew as soon as the pizza came, they would stay the rest of the night in the living room. The pizza came, and they all ate quietly. Olivia could tell Noah was getting tired. It was a little after six, but he had a big day and his first sleepover with a friend.

Olivia had Noah pick out the first movie, The Lion King, Dalton had never seen it, and since they had just been to the play, he wanted Dalton to see it too. Olivia agreed, and the movie started. Noah was telling Dalton the character names, and Dalton was asking a bunch of questions Noah was happy to answer. Olivia and Raphael kept an eye on them in the kitchen, and as much as he wanted to pull down the bottle of scotch and have a drink or two himself, he would never do it in front of Dalton and had serious reservations about it in front of Noah now. Not that he drank around Noah often only a few times and usually some wine with Olivia, but still, his mind was overreacting to the news. He instead made some tea, as Olivia stared off into the living room.

"You know when I was 16, I was engaged," Olivia mentioned.

"Puppy love high school sweethearts thought you'd be together forever." Raphael laughed.

"No, he was 21, and mom's student at the university," Olivia stated.

"You're serious," Raphael stated.

"But that, you couldn't have, your mom." Raphael is spewing information.

"I wanted out so bad, and he was a nice enough guy. He knew. I would sometimes go to class with my mom, its the only time at that age I saw her sober so I would go and sit in on her classes. To be fair, he thought I was a little older. My mom didn't really keep an eye on me. I was a bit of a wild child. For her to be so afraid I was going to be raped, she didn't care where I was. He would catch up with me after her class, and we would talk. He told me he knew that she was drunk by the way she talked, how she always rushed everyone out. Sometimes she would tell students about a drunken binge when I wasn't there." Olivia stated.

"How serious was this? I mean that's statutory rape Liv," Raphael mentioned.

"Not back then," Olivia stated.

"Liv," Raphael stated.

"I lied and told him I was 19. He didn't know until after I told my mom. I really thought I loved him. Everything was consensual, " Olivia claimed.

"I'm sure your mom was thrilled," Raphael stated.

"Yeah, so much so she smashed a bottle and tried to attack me, with the broken glass. She was drunk; that was the first time I ever hit her." Olivia explained.

Raphael looked back at her.

"I think your mom and my dad would have been best friends," Raphael stated.

"You don't talk about him much," Olivia mentioned.

"Not a lot to talk about. He was never home. Thought a kid should be seen not heard. I can't say I had one good conversation with him. When he was home he drank. If he wasn't drunk, he was angry. If he was angry, he was either hitting mom or me." Raphael stated.

"I just don't want Dalton to think he has to run away, or that he has to drink to be happy," Olivia whispered.

"I know," Raphael stated.

"I hope we got this all wrong," Olivia claimed.

"You know we don't," Raphael admitted.

"I know," Olivia claimed.

"Talk to him before he goes to bed. I'll have Noah take a bath, and you can talk to Dalton." Raphael stated.

"Yeah, okay," Olivia stated.

Olivia and Raphael continued to peer into the living room, and when the movie ended, Raphael told Noah, he had to take a bath. Noah was starting to argue, but when Olivia said he wouldn't be able to have another sleepover if he didn't listen, he ran to the bathroom. Usually, Olivia would keep the door open she could hear Noah, but the point was for Noah not to hear the conversation Olivia and Dalton were having. So Raphael closed the door in the bathroom. He told Noah to wait before getting undressed and planned to fill the tub all the way to the top. The water ran rather slowly so it would buy some time. Raphael asked about all the toys he had around the tub to fill the time.

Olivia asked Dalton what film he wanted to watch because he was going to pick the next one. He looked for a long time and decided on Monsters Inc.

"Dalton, do you spend the night with other kids a lot?" Olivia asked.

"Other than my aunt Tonya's kids, no," Dalton stated.

"Do you stay with them a lot," Olivia asked.

"Not really only when my mom works overnight at the diner, but that's only 1-2 times a month," Dalton claimed.

"Do you sleep well at home?" Olivia asked.

"No," Dalton stated.

"Why not?" Olivia asked.

"I get scared," Dalton admitted.

"What are you scared of?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes, mommy breaks things and is loud," Dalton stated.

"Does anyone else live there with you and your mom?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes her boyfriend Tom," Dalton stated.

"Do you like Tom?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, he's the first nice step-dad in a while," Dalton claimed.

"Oh?" Olivia stated.

"Yeah, he doesn't drink, and mommy doesn't drink when he's there. He makes her happy." Dalton mentioned.

"Does mommy drink a lot when Tom isn't there?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes," Dalton said hesitantly.

"Does she scare you when she drinks?" Olivia asked.

"Only when she gets angry with me," Dalton stated.

"Does that happen a lot," Olivia asked.

"No," Dalton claimed.

"Has she ever hurt you, Dalton?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about it," Dalton stated.

"Why not?" Olivia asked.

"Mommy says if I say what happened, I will get taken away and never see her or aunt Tonya or any of my other friends ever again," Dalton stated.

"Oh honey, you're mommy might think that, but that's not true. You may have to go away for a little bit, but I can help you, okay." Olivia stated.

"It hasn't happened in a long time," Dalton stated.

"How long," Olivia asked.

"I was in preschool," Dalton stated.

"Do you remember what happened?" Olivia asked.

"She was really mad because I broke something."

"She hit me, and I fell down. That's all I remember," Dalton stated.

"Okay, was that the only time she hurt you," Olivia asked.

"Yes," Dalton stated.

"Okay, Olivia stated.

"Do you want to talk about anything else?" Olivia asked.

"No, is Noah almost done?" Dalton asked.

"He'll be out soon," Olivia stated.

She knocked on the door of the bathroom.

Noah opened.

"Daddy is letting it go to the top," Noah stated.

"Okay, well, be careful," Olivia stated.

"Hurry up Dalton wants to watch Monsters Inc," Olivia stated.

Raphael turned the taps off quickly. He cracked the door, and both he and Olivia stepped out.

Noah took a bath in less than 5 minutes. Wrapped a towel around his body and went to his bedroom to get a pair of pajamas that Olivia laid out for him.

His hair was still dripping. Olivia grabbed the towel and roughed it through his hair so the sofa bed wouldn't be soaked, and Dalton started Monsters Inc.

The two boys talked about the movie. Olivia cleaned up the kitchen. Raphael picked up Noah's cards and put them up on the counter. He never got around to opening them. Fin's present too went unopened, but Don insisted Noah open him, when Dalton's mom was just a few minutes late. He soon left and never knew of the incident. Rafael was happy that there was a distraction for him and Dalton, at least.

He looked over, and the boys were obviously tired.

"You know how to work the DVD player right?" Raphael asked.

Both boys shook their heads.

"Okay, when this goes off, you can pick out another one," Raphael stated.

"Noah and Dalton nodded their heads excitingly. Olivia and Raphael

Monster's Inc was ending and was 9:30 pm. Both the boys insisted on starting another movie. They picked Finding Nemo. The video was starting, and Olivia stated she and Raphael were going to bed.

Olivia kissed Noah, good night. She offered Dalton a hug, which he gladly accepted. Olivia went to the bedroom and closed the door.

Raphael was in the kitchen, getting a drink of water before going off to bed. Dalton walked into the kitchen.

"Do you need something before bed, Dalton?" Raphael asked.

"Water would be good," Dalton admitted.

Raphael got two sippy cups.

"I know you and Noah are big kids, but these won't spill," Raphael explained and gave one to Dalton.

"So, are you going to have sex with her?" Dalton asked.

"What did you just say?" Raphael asked, shocked.

"I asked if you and Noah's mom are going to close the door and have sex?" Dalton stated again as if this was a normal conversation.

"I don't know where you hear these things, Dalton, but that's not something you should ask about, let alone know about," Raphael stated.

" I heard mommy tell aunt Tonya that Tom has sex with her, and it makes her feel happy. She said they do it in the bedroom and lock the door so I don't walk in. I don't know what it is, but my mom seems to like it a lot." Dalton explained.

Raphael doesn't know how this kid is always making him speechless, but he has for what feels like the 100th time.

"Well, it just means that your mom and Tom are doing grown-up things that kids don't need to see," Raphael explained.

Dalton seemed to except the answer.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to wake up Olivia or me okay, the door will be unlocked but knock first to wake us up. We won't be mad." Raphael explained.

Raphael walked through the bedroom door and closed it.

"That kid just asked if we were going to have sex tonight," Raphael grumbled as he undid his belt.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Olivia asked.

"Exactly, apparently he doesn't know what it is but said that he heard his mom and aunt Tonya talk about Tom making his mom happy," Raphael stated.

Olivia grimaced but laughed after a second.

"He is going to make me give up all my vices before he leaves. I don't know if I can ever look at a drink the same way again, and now I am going to have to know for a fact Noah is nowhere close by to even think about sex." Raphael explained.

"Well, trust me, in a few days, you'll get over it." Olivia insisted.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, she kissed his neck, and then got out of the bed and stood up and kissed him.

"It doesn't help when you tease," Raphael exclaimed.

"You know you like it." Olivia laughed.

They quickly changed into pajamas. It was still sort of early. Raphael grabbed his laptop, already getting emails from new students, asking all kinds of questions. So he began responding back one by one. Olivia was also going through work email checking to see if there was anything of interest. When she found only a few emails, she quickly answered and then went to read a book.

It was 11 pm, and Olivia checked on Dalton and Noah. They were both asleep. The screen on the tv was back on the title screen for Finding Nemo. She turned off the tv but kept the lamp on, and went back to the bedroom to fall asleep next Raphael.


	21. Back to School

It had been a week since Dalton stayed the night. Olivia had trouble sleeping at night, wondering what was going on in Dalton's home. Tiffany had come over at 10 am to pick Dalton up. Tiffany claimed she had a bad night and knew Dalton was safe there. She claimed she didn't realize she had drunk that much, and when Carasi had come over, she agreed to allow Dalton to stay the night. Tiffany insisted that getting drunk wasn't a regular thing, and she promised it wouldn't happen again.

Olivia had told Dalton if anything happened and his mom hurt him. He needed to call 911. Dalton agreed, and she sent him off back to Tiffany, knowing there wasn't much she could do.

Noah started school two days ago, Dalton was in the class this year as well. Olivia asked Noah to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay. Noah loved his new teacher Mrs. Nutter. Noah said she was funny and liked animals. They even had a class pet this school year. It was a gecko named Phil.

Raphael started classes Monday, and Olivia could see his temper rising due to his nervousness. He wasn't cruel. He was just short with both her and Noah and although she knew the stress, it still didn't mean it didn't hurt. Olivia called to book massages and asked Lucy to come over and watch Noah for a few hours, then the 3 of them would stay at Raphael's apartment, she thought it would be more comforting for him that way.

Raphael was grateful for the massage, and Olivia laughed when the massage was over, and he instantly wrapped his body around hers.

"My mind has been so scrambled these last few days I am so sorry, I've treated you in Noah so bad." Raphael started.

"You've been a little short, but I know you're stressed. Once you get the first week over with, I think you'll be fine," Olivia explained.

Olivia and Raphael packed up some of Noah's toys and clothes so they could stay at Raphael's house when they were over, and Olivia also added a few outfits since she was on call. They went to the apartment, and Noah was excited to once again be in Raphael's home.

Noah played with some toys they brought and had a smaller lego kit out in the living room. Raphael had his laptop constantly opened because he was getting message after message from students. He was replying quickly, but the messages piled up.

"Take a break Rafa, they can wait, they waited this long," Olivia stated.

"You're right," Raphael admitted.

He closed the computer, Olivia Noah and Raphael all decided to go shop for food for the next few days.

That night when Noah was asleep, Olivia and Raphael decided to fill up the tub, Raphael asked if Olivia wanted some wine, and she agreed. She thought about the fact this would be her first drink in over a week, and she was sure it was Raphael's as well. She didn't feel guilty, but her mind did wander back to Dalton and his mother for just a minute.

"Liv, you got to tell me if I get to distant, you know I throw myself into work, and sometimes I get so wrapped up I leave people out," Raphael admitted.

"Don't act like I don't do the same thing. We will figure it out. Besides, we're going to your mom's tomorrow, and I hope she might straighten you out." Olivia laughed.

"She has her ways." Raphael laughed.

Olivia sipped on her wine, as did Raphael. They relaxed, not really having a conversation. They just had their eyes closed, inhaling the steam.

The water got tepid, but instead of getting out, Raphael turned the hot water back on, not wanting to move from the tub.

Olivia didn't say a word and allowed the heat to once again take over. The wine was finished, and she felt a buzz. She also knew how close Raphael's naked body was to her. Although at the beginning of the night, it was her who said they should "just relax." she has now changed her mind and pushed herself over into Raphael's arms, feeling his hardness poke against her butt. She knew it was coming, but she let a moan escape, and Raphael couldn't help but be in awe at how easily she melted into him. This wasn't something that had come so easily to him in the past.

He dragged his hands along her breast and downwards to her stomach. He could feel her muscles ripple, and he bucked up involuntarily, and once again, a little moan escaped Olivia's lips. Raphael smiled and was excited himself. Olivia batted him away.

"This feels good but not tonight," Olivia stated.

"Okay, not tonight." Raphael agreed.

It didn't stop either one of them from touching each other, teasing each other, and just taking in each other's forms. Finally, after a long soak, they both got out of the tub feeling refreshed and relaxed. Olivia and Raphael got dressed for bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next day Olivia, Noah, and Raphael met Lucia at Mass. Olivia didn't mind the atmosphere. She didn't mind going to mass. She just wasn't sure she believed all of it. She had gone to church when she was young with her mother, who at the time was trying her hardest to fill the hole inside her heart that Olivia's rapist father made. She tended to fill the void with booze, but every now and again on a random Sunday, she would get her to fix with Jesus. They went to a Methodist church, and Olivia would go to the youth group as a teenager and out on trips, but even then, she questioned the faith. She went to get out from under her mother's thumb. She didn't hate church by any means. She enjoyed the philosophy aspects; she just wasn't sure that she could believe. The biggest thing holding her back was seeing hell on earth every day with the numerous victims she saw. She couldn't deny that she prayed though to a God. Anyone that was willing to listen was okay with her. She prayed a lot when William Lewis had her. She prayed a lot when she first got Noah, and now every so often, she was praying that she and Raphael would last, and they would finally, after so long, settle down.

Olivia found that unlike some other Catholic churches, she had been to, this was a little more relaxed. To be honest, she wasn't paying to much attention to the sermon. Lucia wasn't too happy about the family sitting in the back, but when Raphael explained, Olivia could get a work call at any time, she understood and agreed to sit at the 2nd to the last pew in the back. Olivia sighed as her phone rang, and she stood up, walking back to the entryway to answer it.

Olivia found out there was a new case, nothing that Amanda and Carasi couldn't handle, but it matched the MO of an unsolved case from a few weeks ago, but this time the victim saw his face. Olivia sighed in relief that maybe this time they could catch him.

"We need to get this rapist off the streets, get a sketch artist appointment set up. Did she do a rape kit?"

Olivia asked.

There were a few other people in the entryway, mainly ushers who were waiting for their cue to enter. They all turned and looked at her but, of course, said nothing. One started praying.

"We need to nail this bas… guy." Olivia stated as she suddenly remembered where she was, and ended the call.

She entered and sat back down Noah, looking sadly up at her.

"It's okay baby, I'm not going anywhere" Olivia whispered in his ear.

Noah smiled and hugged her.

The sermon ended, and Lucia was quick to show off Olivia to her church family. Olivia was sure she blushed beet red 95% of the time as Lucia explained to everyone that Olivia was the Lieutenant of the Special Victims Unit. When people asked exactly what that was, Lucia was quick to explain. Some people seemed to pitty Olivia's position. Others seemed to thank her. Lucia was going on so much so that they were the ones to leave other than some church members cleaning or organizing some events. Father Mathew waited patiently for them to exit.

Lucia shook Father Mathew's hand and thanked him for the Sermon.

"I want to introduce you to Olivia Benson," Lucia stated.

"Nice to meet you." Father Mathew stated.

"She is a Lieutenant for the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan," Lucia explained.

"You're doing the lords work, Olivia." Father Mathew stated.

"I don't know about that, but I am doing the best I can," Olivia stated.

"If you don't mind me asking, was that call you got earlier a new case?" Father Mathew asked.

"Yes, it was," Olivia stated.

"How many cases do you get in a week?" Father Mathew asked.

"It depends, some weeks we may only get 10-12 other weeks 20-30. The most I have ever gotten was 48 cases in a week's time, a serial rapist who felt like he was above the law accounted for 12 of those, but we got him." Olivia quickly explained.

"I didn't know what to expect, but that number sounds very high." Father Mathew stated.

"Considering most rapes go unreported, it is," Olivia stated.

"I know we just met, and this is a lot to ask, but is there any way you could talk to our women's group about reporting rapes and how important it is?" Father Mathew asked.

"Oh, I don't know, they have people trained for those types of things," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, they do, but you and I both know how those people are. I don't know, dare I say to friendly, too overly excited. I want someone who would be honest about the process. Someone they could talk too just in case they need to make a report." Father Mathew explained.

Oliva smiled, understanding Father Mathew perfectly well and smiled, agreeing and handing him her card telling him he could call her at any time, and she would help.

Father Mathew smiled and thanked her as they finally made their way out onto the streets and back to Lucia's for Brunch.

The rest of the day blurred into laughs and talks. The time slipped away, and the sun was about to set. Olivia insisted that Lucia shouldn't have to cook them two meals, and they would head off promising to see her soon.

Monday, the alarm went off, too early for anyone's liking. It was 6:30 am. Noah was getting ready for school, and Lucy was picking him to take him. Raphael had dressed so quickly he had missed a button on his shirt, and Olivia had to redo it for him ask his hands shook with nerves. Olivia dressed and got cereal for all 3 of them as they sat at the table. It was 7:10. Olivia had to be out the door in the 20 minutes, and Lucy needed to be here in the next 10 to get Noah to school on time. Raphael was asked to be in his office by 8:00 am to go over last-minute changes and add ons to his calendar.

Olivia smoothed out Raphael's jacket, although it didn't need it. She kissed him and held his hand.

"You'll be fine treat them as your jury, and you'll do fine," Olivia stated.

Raphael couldn't speak and just nodded his head.

"I love you, "Olivia whispered.

"I love you too, I'll see you tonight," Raphael confirmed.

Olivia went into the office slightly nervous for Raphael but shook the emotion. Amanda and Carasi went over the evidence from the case they caught yesterday. They reinterviewed the first victim and tried to get a match on the drawing. They were waiting from the lab to come back with anything. Minutes felt like hours when no leads came to surface, and Olivia sighed, knowing this was going to be a long week.

Raphael walked into his office, greeted by the dean, Max Creed. Raphael has had numerous talks over the summer with him. Max had started simply came to wish Raphael luck and made sure he knew how to check the class roster and reminded him that the college was focused on paperless classrooms now, and to use his allotted amount of paper wisely.

Raphael walked into the class at 8:55 am. Most of the students were already there, and some were shuffling past him to get in the door. He reminded himself that most of the class was new, just like him. He also told himself that he was in charge. At exactly 9:00 am, he started class.

"Hello Everyone, my name is Raphael Barba. This is Criminal Law. I hope everyone is in the right place." Raphael stated.

Two people slinked out of the room, and then he continued.

"I hope you have all gotten your books for this class, I know it sounds like a lot, and unfortunately I did not get to chose the books this semester, they are all very much needed and not optional. I will go through them in a particular order though, so if money is an issue, you only need the first two books listed in your syllabus for now." Raphael explained.

"This is my first year here, so I am still learning too," Raphael stated.

"I was told that the law school classes are very tight-knit, I am hoping to help you the best I can, and if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. My office hours are posted, and my office is down the hallway to the left. If my door is open, you are welcome anytime." Raphael stated.

"I have an introductory survey the college requires you fill out," Raphael stated.

"I would like to go around the room and have you say your name, and what your primary goal is with your degree, please be specific as possible. For example, My name is Raphael Barba, My first year in law school, I intended to go into a private firm suing a big business for negligence. When I graduated, I ended up working for the DA for 21 years before becoming a professor at NYU." Raphael stated.

Some of the class laughed, others smiled, and others seemed disinterested.

The group of 23 students went around the room, saying their names and interests. For the most part, everyone had their sights on a specific field, and Raphael was trying to get a feel for the room. Everyone in the room was polite and professional. He was feeling good about this class.

" I want you to know this class is a lot of tests, and understanding of the law concepts. There isn't a lot of application in this class except for your paper. I want you to think of proposals for your paper. The details are in your syllabus, but be mindful it needs to be a high profile case that you feel was wrongly prosecuted and what the prosecution could or should have done. Most recent cases are going to be easier if you want to do a period piece. You're going to have to have a solid knowledge of the laws of the time not today. I need citings for your argument. This paper is 25% of your grade. No Mansion family papers its been done a million times." Raphael explained. You have two weeks to submit your top 3 choices. Next week we will be going over chapters 1-3 in your first book, and chapter 1 in the 2nd book. Make sure you check online for your quiz after class you have until the next class to complete it. They count for 10% of your grade. Now, does anyone have any questions?" Raphael asked.

A few hands raise, and Raphael can answer all the questions. He is relieved when class is done, and he dismisses them 20 minutes early. He goes back to his office with surveys in hand. They are anonymous but ask basic questions such as "What do you expect to learn in this class?" "How do you feel this class will prepare you in with your Bar Exam?" Then some demographic information such as "What year of Law School are you in?" "Are taking this as an elective for another major." and multiple other questions.

The next class was smaller, only 15 in this class. It was in the same room, though, and Raphael had gained confidence after the first class ended. They went through the same things, but with the smaller class size, the class ended even quicker the group leaving 30 minutes early, but Raphael insisted that they wouldn't ever leave that early again. Raphael went back to his office, keeping the door open just in case any student wandered by. He opened his laptop to see if there were any emails. He had two from people who didn't show up apologizing. He just rolled his eyes and didn't bother with a response. He got an email about "Welcome Week." Where students and staff were encouraged to attend various activities throughout the week, and a schedule was included.

The following email was an email giving a "Friendly" reminder that Law school staff were required to go to 2 welcome week events this week and sign in at the staff table at each event attended.

Raphael's late email was a Law school staff meeting scheduled Thursday at 4-6 pm. The dean had sent out claiming its the only time that everyone was free from class this semester. The meetings would continue weekly throughout the semester. The law school had Raphael added it a repeating reminder to his calendar.

He stuck around for 30 more minutes. It was now approaching 3:30, and he was headed home, grateful for the day off tomorrow would bring. He would be expected to check email and check the online class forum for his two classes, but other than that, he was free to do what he wished. Raphael was expecting Noah and Olivia back at his apartment tonight but wasn't sure if they would be staying or not.

Raphael walked through the door, Noah was looking out the window, pointing out things to Lucy, and he smiled.

"You have a good day at school, Noah?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, we learned a big word today!" Noah stated.

"Yeah, what word is that?" Raphael asked.

"Together. T-o-g-e-t-h-e-r" Noah recited proudly.

"Very good," Raphael stated.

Lucy smiled at the little boy.

"Do you need help with anything?" Lucy asked.

"No, didn't you start classes today as well?" Raphael asked.

"Yes, like I said though it's a practicum, I am the early learning center four days a week. 28 3-year-olds are running around as we are trying to assess behavior and development skills. But it's a lot of fun," Lucy smiled. Friday is my class. All we do there is go over our observations and work on our thesis." Lucy explained.

"So, you do okay today?" Lucy asked.

"I think so. No one went running for the doors except two people who had the wrong room in my first class," Raphael admitted.

"Well, that sounds positive." Lucy laughed.

"I'll take what I can get," Raphael stated.

Lucy took off not to long after, Raphael helped Noah with his homework, something either Lucy or Olivia usually did, but it was nice to help Noah, and he knew most of the answers without even asking for help. Raphael pulled out some vegetables and chicken and started making dinner around 5 pm when Olivia texted she was on her way home.

Olivia walked through the door, food being plated. Noah was running at her full speed. She was happy that she got to come home a decent time. Raphael smiled at her, so she knew his day hadn't been complete shit, and she smiled back at him as she listed all about Noah's day. Olivia ate her food and listened to Raphael explain the Welcome Week, stuff he had to go to.

"One of the options is family night on Friday if you and Noah would want to come, its kid-friendly," Raphael explained.

"Sounds perfect, and even if something comes up, I am sure Noah would love spending time with you," Olivia explained.

"Yeah, daddy, I want to see where you work!" Noah said excitingly.

"Okay, Mijo, this Friday we will go," Raphael stated.

"I think I am going to go to "A history of NYU Thursday night" as my second thing, apparently we have weekly meetings Thursday 4-6 pm. The history event is 7-8 pm." Raphael stated.

Olivia nodded her head.

The rest of dinner was quiet, and Noah begged to watch some show that was on Nick, Olivia agreed, and Raphael and Olivia cleaned up the kitchen. Raphael asked Noah to make sure all his toys got back to his room before bedtime. Noah agreed, and during commercials, he would run a few things to his room, going quickly, making sure not to miss any of his show.

Olivia and Raphael cuddled on the couch. If asked what show was on TV neither could have answered. They weren't kissing, but they were leaning into each other feel each other's warmth lost in their thoughts as the tv sound went through one ear and out the other. Noah seemed content with whatever it was as Raphael and Olivia relaxed on the couch.

The rest of the week flew by, Raphael was impressed by his undergraduate class. Most were freshman with undeclared majors looking to see if they should take the pre-law route. Raphael didn't feel like he made it a work heavy class, but he had two research papers assigned. It seemed everyone was excited about his lack of a group project, and there had been no complaints. Everyone who was there seemed interested in the law school. Raphael had to admit the book the college made had helped him out, but a lot of it just was a giant ad to attend university there. The first assignment was to write at least 1 page no more 2 page paper of why they were thinking about law school. With 52 students in the class, he was hoping that he would get some direction and see who he could bring in to talk to the students about various jobs.

Friday came with family night, Olivia had gotten off work on time. Raphael opted to forgo the jacket but wore a button-up shirt and dress pants. Olivia was wearing what she wore to work, black pants, and a purple top with a black blazer. Noah was wearing jeans and T-shirt with minions on it. Raphael drove and parked in his designated spot. He showed both Olivia and Noah his office. Then they walked over to the family night, taking place in the park. Raphael saw the dean and a few other staff as well as some students at the law school. One, in particular, was an undergrad student who had sat in the front row Wednesday. He didn't know her name but recognized as her as she came up to him.

"Hi professor Barba, is this your family?" the young lady asked.

"Yes, this is Noah and Olivia," Raphael stated.

"My name is Michelle Mitchel, and this is my little brother Thomas, he is ten and obsessed with becoming a lawyer, just like our mom," Michelle stated.

"So, you're not interested?" Raphael asked.

"It's not that, I do love the justice system, and maybe I would like to go into law, that's what your class is for, after all, I'm really interested in immigration law. He is more into suing the pants off someone." Michelle explained.

The little boy had talked to Raphael for a few minutes about his view on the newest bill to pass the state legislature, and Raphael and Olivia were both impressed by the boy's intellect.

"Yeah, boy genius over her once again after my mom, I got my dad's normal IQ." Michelle laughed.

"Actually, there is my mom and dad now," Michelle stated.

Raphael's jaw dropped. It was Lisa Landon. He had taken his New York Bar exam and studied with her, even had a very short-lived fling with her while they studied together. Apparently she got married not too long after and had Michelle, he passed his bar 22 years ago, and Michelle was at least 18.

"Raphael Barba!" Lisa exclaimed!

"Lisa, its a pleasure," Raphael stated and kissed her hand.

She blushed.

"Always the gentleman. I see you see you have a son of your own." Lisa stated.

"This is Noah, and his mother Olivia," Raphael stated.

"I can't believe Raphael Barba is your professor, it was always the end game," Lisa stated.

"Yeah well, the end game came a little sooner than planned," Rafael admitted

"I want to let you know I would have done the same thing. I admire you." Lisa stated.

Raphael just blushed, and Olivia eyeballed the interaction.

"Well, I know you met my son." Lisa was eyeing her husband Corey and Thomas playing corn hole and walked that direction introducing him to Corey.

"Corey, this is Raphael Barba. He is teaching Michelle's class," Lisa explained.

"OH Raphael Barba, the one who you claimed helped you pass the bar exam, among other things," Corey said the last part jokingly, and Raphael's color drained. Olivia immediately saw it.

"Yes, good to meet you," Raphael stated.

"Well, Thomas, here will be ready for you in about ten years. I keep trying to talk Michelle into becoming a writer. She is very creative, but whatever she does as long as she's happy." Corey explained.

Noah pointed over to a giant slide that he had to go down, Rapahel said goodbye and they raced over.

"So you and that girl's mom, dated?" Olivia asked.

"I wouldn't say date," Raphael stated.

"But you liked her," Olivia stated.

"I did, but I hate to say this. She was kind of just there," Raphael admitted.

Olivia slapped his arm

"Really, Barba, just love them and leave them," Olivia asked.

"I liked her. We went out a few times that it." Raphael stated.

Olivia wasn't quite sure why she was jealous, but she was.

"Don't act like Miss Olivia Benson never had a one night stand," Raphael stated.

She closed her eyes, thinking back to the multiple one nights stands she had over the years. That stopped, though, when Elliot had been separated from Kathy. Deep down, she knew that she wanted a chance with the only man she ever trusted, and she kept herself fully available to him. There were a few nights after work when the thought would flick to her mind. When Elliot told her Kathy was pregnant, she puked. She knew that the small window she had, ran out and she didn't seize it. She loved him, though and was happy as long as Kathy made him happy.

The day he told her she went got drunk and picked a cute guy out in the crowd. She went back to his place, the sex was meaningless but satisfying none the less, and that was the last one night stand she ever had.

"What you thinking about Liv," Raphael asked.

"Nothing, and you're right, I'm not judging you. She is beautiful, you know." Olivia stated.

"She is a beautiful woman but nothing compared to you," Raphael stated, and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips.

"Daddy, can we get cotton candy?" Noah asked as he came running from the slide.

"Yeah, of course," Raphael stated.

They ran into a few more of his students and few other staff, Raphael showing off Olivia and Noah. He almost told Dean Creed she was his wife, Olivia hadn't been paying enough attention to him to notice the slip. Raphael wasn't sure when he started thinking that way, but he knew someday he would ask her to marry him. He already felt in a whirlwind, and although he would be perfectly fine with putting a ring on her finger right now, the words from Lucy was playing in his mind. 'She's independent, show her that your apartment is hers.' rang to the forefront of his mind.

The rest of the evening was filled with Noah pointing and asking questions several people happy to help when neither Olivia or Raphael knew the answer. Raphael felt welcome here and pleased that this was his new job. Olivia and Noah happily went around talking to other colleagues of his. There was no reason to be weary. The three of them stayed until the family night was over learning, and meeting new people.


	22. Official

The weeks seem to float away. The fall semester was going quickly. Olivia seemed to be working closer to 60 hours a week than a traditional 40. Olivia and Raphael had a schedule down pat. Weekends Olivia had off, they would be at his apartment. Also, every Monday and Wednesday night. Tuesday Thursday Friday and any weekend Olivia worked, they would be at her apartment. They seamlessly coordinated schedules. Raphael was in the swing of teaching. Olivia had been taking on a lot of severe cases, and the trail for Steve Butler was fast approaching. His plea was guilty, and he was awaiting sentencing. He had pleaded guilty to 1st-degree injury, causing death to a minor and 1st-degree rape. The minimum sentence was 40 years in prison, but the DA was pushing to the max of life in prison without parole. She knew he was old enough that anything more than 60 years may as well be life, but she desperately wanted the max, so those children would never have to see him out on the street for the rest of their life.

Olivia had promised Stone she would be at court, and even though they were dreadfully behind in paperwork, she and Amanda went to the courthouse to see Steve Butler's sentencing. Olivia saw Mary as well, and who she assumed were multiple family members. Olivia and Amanda sat directly behind them.

Stone gave powerful testimony to the judge ordering life with a chance of parole in 20 years. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, and Mary hugged Olivia tightly. Olivia couldn't imagine the death of a child, she couldn't imagine life without Noah, and she wasn't sure how this woman picked up the pieces other than the fact she had three other young children to care for.

"If you need anything, let me know," Olivia stated.

Mary simply nodded and joined her family. The case finally coming to an end, let Olivia breathe a sigh of relief as she and Amanda went back to the precinct to attempt to help another victim.

Olivia and Amanda didn't have to wait long moments after walking through the office a woman dragging her daughter along with her said they needed to report a rape.

Olivia quickly found the mother was Julie Wick, and her daughter Samantha Wick was the victim.

She had them sit down. She could immediately see that Samantha was uncomfortable.

"If she would have just listened, you're going to be a PSA to all those high schoolers at church now, Samantha!" Julie stated.

"She went to a party, she doesn't even drink she got drugged, and some boy raped her now she's three months pregnant!" Julie said quickly.

"Mrs. Wick, I understand you are upset, but I need to hear this all from Samantha, and I need to speak to her alone." Detective Rollins will get you some coffee and show you where you can wait." Olivia stated.

Samantha changed when her mother wasn't in the room.

"Is what your mom saying true?" Olivia asked.

"Mostly," Samantha stated.

"Okay, start from the beginning," Olivia stated.

"Listen, she can't know the details, I, she, she thinks I'm this religious nut and acts like I'm 12," Samantha stated.

"Worry about that later, just tell me what happened," Olivia stated.

"Okay, I was with my friends Kim and Sara, and they said they knew this guy named Mitch, who was having a party and asked if I wanted to go. Even though I go to Hudson, I stay at home with my parents, and you know my house my rules, so usually, I have to be back home by 10 pm. My parents were out of town that weekend and I agreed to go." Samantha stated.

"What day was this?" Olivia asked.

"The middle of July, it was the last week of summer classes. I think it was a Thursday because I was already done with my class." Samantha explained.

"Okay, so you went to Mitch's party. Do you remember where it was?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know an address or anything, but it was in Hudson housing, two blocks away I could walk to from campus," Samantha stated.

"Okay, so what happened?" Olivia asked.

"Well, it was a party, you know the usual. There was a lot of alcohol, a few people snorting pills nothing out of the ordinary. I had been drinking a lot. I know I had a couple of beers and a group of us were all drinking rum and coke, I don't know how much I had to drink. I started feeling dizzy and sat on the couch. Kim and Sara wanted to leave. I should of went with them, but I was having a good time. I yelled at them to go, and Mitch told them he would keep a right eye on me.

I continued to drink. There was a guy there. I don't know his name, but he sat down next to me, and we started making out. Then I know someone else came around and I talked to him, but I can't even remember what he looks like. He just kept handing me more drinks. The next thing I remember is Mitch yelling, "Hey, get off her, man!"

I startled awake, and my pants were pulled down, Mitch pulled a blanket over me and sent everyone out. He asked me if I was okay," I remember feeling sore like I had sex, but I honestly couldn't remember. Mitch was friendly and even offered to take me to the police, but I refused and said nothing happened. Honestly, I wasn't sure if it did, but here I am 3 months pregnant." Samantha claimed.

"I just have to ask Samantha, can anyone else be the baby's father?" Olivia asked.

"No, I broke up with my ex Philip about two months prior and hadn't been with anyone else," Samantha admitted.

"Is everything okay with you and your mom?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, she, look this baby I'm giving up for adoption, Just like I was when I was a baby. My parents adopted me when I was a baby. They raised me in church, and of course, my mom thinks that I don't even know what sex is, well she's not that naive, but I've denied having sex, and I denied drinking, she thinks someone put something in my drink." Samantha stated.

"Do you think someone did?" Olivia asked.

"No, I don't think so, but I can't be for sure. After Mitch threw everyone out, I pulled my pants up. I slept on his couch. I was too afraid to move." Samantha started as tears streamed down her face.

"You're doing really good, is there anything else you can remember?" Olivia asked.

"Not really," Samantha admitted.

"Can I get the numbers of everyone who was with you that night, and we'll go from there," Olivia stated.

Samantha agreed, giving numbers of her friends Sara and Kim, and admitted that she and Mitch have been hanging out from time to time, and she had his number as well but hasn't been back to the building in the past three months.

Samantha and her mother, Julie left, the precinct.

Olivia clued in Fin and Amanda.

Olivia called Mitch, and surprisingly, he answered. He asks what it was regarding, and he quickly gave his address and told Olivia he would be free after 4 pm today.

Amanda and Fin went to Mitch's apartment at 4:15 pm.

"Detective's, I'm so glad Samantha finally talked to you!" Mitch stated.

"Listen she was pretty fuzzy about what happened, can you tell us what happened that night?" Fin asked.

"Well, my roommate and I had planned a small party we were done with all our summer finals. I had only invited five people Sara and Kim, and then our neighbors over here Brian and Sal. Then a buddy from class Frankie, but my roommate Majal, he invited his whole class over. We had about 30 people in here It got crazy. I don't know why no one called police. I remember it being so loud. I told Majal that we needed to get people out, but he refused. I don't think I've ever seen so much alcohol in my life. I had met Samantha a few times at the student center, with Kim but I didn't know her too well they were the first 3 to show up and at the time I didn't know all of Majal's classmates were coming over. It was about 1:30 in the morning, and I noticed this guy I've never seen before on the couch looming over top of someone. I saw it was Samantha and ran him out. I noticed her pants were down, and I grabbed the blanket off the couch and told everyone to get out." Mitch claimed.

"So this guy that you saw what did he look like?" Fin asked.

"He had dark hair. He was about my height because when he stood up, he stared right at me for a second, so I guess 5' 10" and he had dark-colored eyes. He was white and looked young for his age. I remember thinking that he only seemed to be about 16." Mitch stated.

"So, where is Majal right now?" Amanda asked.

"I don't know I didn't get along with him. I'm not sure he even still goes here. He was my summer term roommate only here for eight weeks. I have a new roommate now.

"What about the neighbors you invited? Are they the same?" Amanda asked.

"No, they both left too," Mitch stated.

"So, why is everyone moving out from all around you?" Amanda asked.

"Well, this is University housing, and they have tiered levels, this place is pretty expensive, the rent here is split two ways, and it is 1500 a month, most people can't afford it. I, you won't tell the college, will you?" He asked.

"Listen as long as your not committing a felony..." Amanda started

"Incoming freshmen all get tier 1 housing the slums. I'm from Vermont, and I'd never seen a place so small in my life. I refused to sign on the dotted line for housing until I was about two weeks from moving in. They didn't have a spot for me for Tier 1 housing. I was placed here temporarily. This is tier 4 housing. They never moved me and have me paying tier-one rent, so I can't risk that." Mitch stated.

"I understand," Amanda stated.

"Is there any way you can get in touch with Majal?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah, I think I have him on Insta, or Twitter or something," Mitch said.

Mitch stared at his phone, trying to find the guy. He shot off a message but didn't get a reply.

Amanda asked him to ask where he is now, what class he invited over, and if he can give you the names of anyone from that night. Mitch agreed and took her card promising to call when Majal answered.

"Is this the same couch?" Amanda asked.

"Uh yeah, but it's been here since before I moved in. It was a furnished apartment." Mitch stated.

"You don't happen to have a black light, do you?" Amanda asked.

"Actually..." Mitch states as he went into his room

He pulled out what looked to be a flashlight.

"my sister is a total germaphobe. She got me this for when I go to hotels I never thought about around the apartment, I don't think I want to know." Mitch stated.

Fin turned off the lights, Mitch shut the blinds, and Amanda turned on the light. The couch was completely covered in stains, and Mitch almost puked.

"God, I'm buying a slipcover," Mitch stated.

Fin suppressed a laugh.

"Do you have any pictures from that night?" Fin asked

"No, it wasn't anything special," Mitch explained.

"Thanks for all your help." Fin stated.

Amanda and Fin walked out the door and sighed. It was a dead-end for now.

Amanda and Fin gave the details they knew wrote up reports, and Olivia signed them. They all knew it was slim that they would find the man who did this. The next step was getting the baby's DNA to see if they could match it. Of course, it was up Samantha, but that was the next step, and if he wasn't in the system, she doubted much more could be done. She was utterly tired and desperately wanted to see Noah. She had already pushed 55 hours this week, and she was done.

Olivia was ready to walk out the door when Trevor came in.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked.

"I have news, and was nearby," Trevor admitted.

Olivia pointed back to her office.

They went back to Olivia, not able to sit back down, preparing herself for the words.

"I talked to Judge Simmons. He said that he knew of Raphael's past case but that it had nothing to do with the adoption. He is ready to see you next Tuesday at 1 pm formalities only." Trevor announced.

Olivia smiled, tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you!" Olivia stated and hugged the man she had known for so long.

"You're welcome, I'll see you Tuesday," Trevor stated as he walked out of her office and out the precinct.

Olivia flopped in the chair badly, wanting to tell Raphael what she had just heard but not wanting to do it over the phone. It was Friday, and Noah would already be at his house. She thought about it for second tears in her eyes.

She quickly texted him.

"How fast can you get Noah ready for Gallaghers?" Olivia asked.

"Uh, 20 minutes, maybe, what's the occasion?"

"Just get ready, I'll meet you there," Olivia stated.

She needed the redness from her eyes to go away, but Fin walked in, looking at her.

"Is everything okay?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, more than okay." Olivia smiled.

"Happy tears, that's good." Fin stated.

"It's last minute, but I hope you can come to Raphael's tomorrow," Liv stated.

"I'll be there." Fin stated.

"Thanks, Fin, I got to go," Olivia stated.

When Olivia arrived, she only waited a few minutes for Noah and Raphael, she immediately felt underdressed, but it didn't matter.

"What are we doing here, Liv?" Raphael asked.

"We're celebrating," Olivia admitted.

"Yeah, whys that?" Raphael asked.

"Well, Tuesday at about 1 pm, you will legally be Noah's daddy." Olivia smiled.

Raphael stared at her for a long minute.

"You're serious!" Raphael stated.

"Yes, just a formality," Olivia stated.

"I don't, we don't, Tuesday?" Raphael asked.

"Tuesday." Olivia admitted.

"Oh, Liv," Raphael stated, tears streaming down his face.

"Why are you crying, daddy?" Noah asked.

"I'm really really happy, Mijo, Tuesday you and mommy and I are going to the courthouse, and I'm going to sign a paper saying you're legally my son," Raphael explained.

"But, I thought I already was?" Noah said.

"You are, it just makes it extra official. It tells everyone that your my son, and I'm you're daddy." Raphael explained.

Noah just nodded. Not realizing how big of a deal it was.

Raphael ordered champagne and a strip steak, Olivia got a fillet and ordered Noah a sirloin. When they got back to the apartment, it was late, and Noah was instantly asleep. Olivia and Raphael were still high in the news. Olivia and Raphael were grinning ear to ear.

"I already invited Fin, over, we need to invite your mom, and whoever else, I know you probably don't have too many people at the college yet. But I'm inviting Sonny and Amanda and Lucy and James." Olivia said, excitingly.

"Is it okay if I invite Rita?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, of course," Olivia stated.

They sent out texts understanding it was last minute, but everyone was willing and able to make it to the surprise announcement come tomorrow evening. Amanda was on-call, but other than that. Everything was all set.

"So, what do you think? They think it is?" Raphael asked Olivia.

Olivia started to laugh.

"I don't know. With us, it could be anything." Olivia admitted.

"Fin saw Trevor and saw me crying, but I told him it was good news, so I think he has it figured out, they are probably all texting back and forth trying to figure it out," Olivia claimed.

"They will know tomorrow night," Raphael stated.

"I just wanted to say thank you, Liv," Raphael stated.

"For what?" Olivia asked.

"For trusting me enough to be his dad," Raphael stated.

Olivia and Raphael were cuddled on the couch, and Raphael put his head on Olivia's chest.

"Hey, I know that you love him, and even if we, if we don't work out, I know you'll still be there for him," Olivia admitted.

"You're right, but I don't think we'll have that issue," Raphael stated.

Olivia just nodded her head not sure what to say, she thought this was it, but they had such a long way to go, it had been five months, and she had never felt so close to anyone like this. Olivia couldn't imagine life any other way right now, and she was happy. She has been content most of her life, but for the first time in a long time, she was happy.

Raphael turned on the news, something they regularly avoided, but going so long without looking made them want to catch up with the world around them. After 15 minutes, it had been enough, and he turned it off.

Raphael turned his head and kissed Olivia hard. The first time he had kissed since finding out that Tuesday made everything official. Olivia allowed his tongue to sweep inside her mouth, and she smiled.

"I love you, Olivia," Raphael stated.

"I love you too," Olivia claimed.

Olivia and Raphael were teasing each other, they both perfectly knew what they were doing to each other, but neither would admit it. Raphael popped a few buttons on his shirt loose, and Olivia would lightly brush up against him. Olivia would put her hand on his thigh and slowly graze upwards, not paying any attention to his growing erection. They both knew how this would end. Both of them were taking their time, and it was annoying but also heavenly all at once, and neither picked up the pace until Olivia said something about the time. It was getting late, and if this was going to continue, they needed to get moving.

Without a word, Raphael got up and asked:

"You coming?"

Olivia jumped up and met him going down the hall and into the bedroom. Raphael was undressing as soon as the bedroom door closed, and Olivia followed his lead. Both we naked, but the chill of October both made them quickly get under the covers. Raphael started the teasing once again, and Oliva followed suite.

"Liv." Raphael finally said

"Yeah?" Olivia asked.

"Thank you for making me a dad." Raphael stated.

"Noah did that, not me," Olivia claimed has she rubbed her hand around on his chest.

"Well, thank you for letting me," Raphael stated.

"Thank you for being his dad," Olivia stated.

Raphael quickly was on top of her. "Is this okay?" Raphael asked.

Olivia shook her head, yes. Raphael slowly entered her, and just like everything else tonight, it was slow, but it wasn't boring by any means just something different and thoughtful like they were trying so hard to show each other how much they meant to one another. After they finally finished, Raphael drew a bath, both slipping in and soaking for some time until the water got cold, and the hour was even later than they realized. Olivia and Raphael fell sleep peacefully

Saturday evening came with Olivia insisting that Lucia come earlier than rest feeling like she deserved to know first, and Olivia let Noah explain to Lucia that Raphael was going to be his dad legally and Lucia cried. They hugged each other, and Noah insisted that they order pizza for the rest of the group coming in about an hour.

Fin came first, followed by Amanda and Sonny, Lucy and James, then Rita showed up right on time. The pizza came about 10 minutes later, and after some casual talk, especially with Sonny and Raphael, Rita finally asked what they all wanted to know.

"So what's this surprise of yours, Barba?" Rita asked.

Raphael and Olivia both smiled widely.

"Well come Tuesday I am officially Noah's adoptive father," Raphael stated.

Everyone cheers and congratulated him.

"So, is he going to stay a Benson or become Barba?" Fin asked.

The two looked at each other, not thinking about a possible name change.

"We haven't discussed it," Olivia admitted.

The group changed subjects, and Olivia was just happy to have the group together. Raphael seemed to be talking to everyone catching up, talking about his new job, and Noah. Olivia heard Sonny ask "if he was going to take the next step" with her. She wasn't sure what that meant, but Raphael seemed to be comfortable with the conversation. Olivia wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Rita walked up to Olivia.

"You know I've never seen him quite like this," Rita exclaimed.

"He's happy," Olivia stated.

"He is, and so are you. I didn't think that dad and Raphael Barba would ever go together, but just look at him," Rita stated.

Raphael was playing with Noah, and Sonny, they had a big lego set, and the three of them were going step by step. Amanda had brought Jesse who a bit to little to be playing with regular legos, but Raphael was helping her all the same.

Olivia looked at the sight.

"When I very first had Noah, he seemed so opposed to the idea, he was scared even to hold him, but by the time he turned 3, I knew that he would always be there for him," Olivia admitted.

"So why wait another four years to get with him?" Rita asked.

"We were both stupid." Olivia admitted.

"Yeah, for him being so smart when he comes to relationships, he's an idiot," Rita claimed.

Olivia just smiled but didn't say anything.

Lucia left first asking if he would be at church, he said not this week but promised that next week all 3 of them would be there.

Rita left second after getting a call from a client who wanted to change his plea. She was sad to go.

"You're welcome anytime," Raphael stated.

"I know, Barba, or should I say, daddy," Rita asked.

Raphael laughed.

"Goodnight, Rita," Raphael stated, and she left as well.

Amanda and Sonny were sitting close together on Raphael's couch, Jesse climbing on Sonny like a jungle gym and Amanda laughing but telling Jesse to get down at the same time.

Olivia Fin and Raphael all looked on at the interaction. Noah was watching too.

"Is Sonny Jesse's daddy?" Noah asked.

Fin and Raphael shared a smile.

"He may as well be." Fin stated.

Noah smiled but didn't comment anymore.

"Can we have ice-cream?" Noah asked.

Raphael turned around towards the freezer, looking to see if there was enough ice-cream for everyone.

Raphael forgot about the box of drumsticks, enough for all of them, and he handed Noah the first one and passed them around. Jesse was excited, and the adults ate their ice-cream. Noah and Jesse were playing in his room, and the group of 5 sat in the living room.

"So when are you two going to admit that you're a thing?" Raphael asked.

Carasi's eyebrows went up into his hairline, but Amanda acted as though Raphael has just asked about the weather.

Fin laughed at the difference in reactions.

Amanda stated "We don't like to display it at work."

Sonny looked at Amanda, completely flustered.

"Sonny, it's okay I've known for a long time," Olivia stated.

Sonny looks at Olivia as if she had three heads.

"And you haven't said anything?!" Sonny asked.

"I haven't had a reason too," Olivia stated.

Sonny scrubbed his face and looked at everyone.

"So wait, how long have you've known?" Sonny asked quickly.

"Unofficially about 2-3 weeks after you came in, it was just a matter of time," Olivia stated.

"But we weren't, I didn't, she hated me," Sonny stated.

"No, you thought she hated you. She hated she got not new partner. It was never about you, Sonny," Olivia stated.

Amanda nodded her head to confirm Olivia's words.

Sonny was just confused by what he just heard. Thinking maybe they could have had a chance, perhaps Jesse would have been his, but he knew he shouldn't be playing what if's and knew the couple across from them also went years without confession, and right now was all that matters, so he leaned back into Amanda and closed his eyes knowing that all this was alright.

"How's that grandbaby of yours, Fin?" Olivia asked.

"Well,, you know Ken says I spoil him, but he's going good." Fin stated.

"It kind of makes me wonder what I was thinking," Olivia admitted.

Raphael looked over at her, confused.

"I'm going to be 63 when he is 20," Olivia mentioned.

They all thought about how they were getting older, it wasn't lost on them in the day today, but something they didn't talk about often. Fin could have retired ten years ago, Olivia never questioned why he stayed. She could have technically retired this year, but there was too much work to be done, and although Noah was at the forefront of her mind, she couldn't imagine not doing what she does every day. Sonny and Amanda were the same age and had some time to go, but everyone knew Sonny had passed the bar, and they all knew it was a matter of time before his next step. They sat there for a while without saying a word but in comfortable silence, listening to kids playing in Noah's room happy for moments like this.


	23. Congratulations

It was Tuesday morning, Raphael and Olivia woke up early, and if Raphael had to admit, he felt like a kid on Christmas. Noah himself wasn't quite as excited, considering he had already been calling Raphael daddy for a while now. He agreed to dress up and even wore suspenders. Olivia couldn't help but let a tear slip when they walked into the courtroom.

Trevor was there waiting on them. He had a massive grin on his face. Although he hadn't seen Noah in some time, Trevor smiled instantly at the little boy and knew that he was a case he would never forget and loved that it had such a special ending.

Olivia and Raphael had Noah in between them. He was holding both of their hands, a little nervous of the judge.

"It's okay, Noah, she is just going to ask you a few questions you just have, to be honest, okay," Raphael explained.

Noah shook his head.

The judge looked at the little boy and smiled.

"You're Noah, am I right?" the judge asked.

Noah shook his head.

"Now, I hear that you want Raphael Barba to be you dad is that right?" The judge asked.

"Yes," Noah answered.

"And why do you want Raphael Barba to be your dad Noah?" The judge asked.

"Because he takes care of me, and he's nice and plays legos with me," Noah stated.

"That sounds like a good dad to me." The Judge stated.

"The best!" Noah claimed.

Olivia and Raphael looked at each other and smiled.

"Well then, Noah Porter Benson, it looks like you legally have a dad." The judge stated.

"Raphael Barba, do you agree to treat Noah Benson as your own biological child, having the same rights as agreements as a parent as if he was born to you?" The judge asked.

"I do," Raphael stated.

"Good, by signing the paperwork, you are now officially Noah Benson's adoptive father." The judge stated.

The judge signed the paperwork, and Raphael Barba was now legally Noah's daddy. When the gavel banged, Raphael picked Noah up and swung him around. He was crying happy tears, and Olivia couldn't help but do the same.

"I love you, Noah." Raphael state.

"I love you too, daddy," Noah exclaimed.

They walked out to see Amanda and Fin outside the family courtroom, being that it was a closed hearing. But Amanda had a balloon that said, "It's a boy." and handed it to Raphael.

"Congratulations, man!" Fin stated.

Olivia laughed at the balloon, but Raphael wasn't too impressed.

"We got here too late to come in, hope everything went okay," Amanda stated.

"Yeah, perfect," Olivia admitted.

"Good, we're just excited to know its official," Amanda stated.

"Well, we're also here on business." Fin stated.

Olivia and Raphael shook their heads.

"We'll see you tomorrow Liv," Amanda stated. She hugged all 3 of them and left with Fin towards the back end of the courthouse.

Olivia and Raphael ended up back at her apartment. Noah wasn't too quick to take off the outfit mentioned he liked that he looked like daddy, and stayed dressed up as the 3 of them ate lunch.

"Mommy, am I going to get in trouble for not going to school to stay home and have fun?" Noah asked.

"Not this time, baby, but you can't just miss school to have fun, today was a special occasion," Olivia explained.

Noah smiled.

"I had fun today dressing up and going to the courthouse," Noah stated.

"He is definitely ours!" Olivia laughed.

"Ours, I love the sound of that," Raphael admitted and kissed Olivia on the lips.

"Why are adults so gross?" Noah asked. Then huffed off towards his room.

"He won't be saying that in a few years," Raphael stated.

"More than a few, I hope." Olivia laughed and kissed Raphael this time a little longer, knowing Noah would be in his room for a little while.

The rest of the day, the 3 of them watched a movie, and Olivia made spaghetti Noah's favorite. Raphael was pretty sure he could do this every day, no matter where the 3 of them were as long as they were together, it seemed to be a good day. Lucia came over that evening with cake and celebrated officially having Noah as her grandson. Noah was happy when Raphael explained that by default Lucia was now his grandmother. If Raphael hadn't known better, he thought Noah was more excited. Lucia was his grandmother more than he was, no his dad. Raphael knew though that Noah had felt that he was his dad for a long time now. Today was the first day Noah realized Lucia was his grandmother, something he never really had before today. Noah new Lucia and went with her often now that Raphael was part of his life, especially the past few months, but he always thought of her as Raphael's mom, not his grandma. Noah's day ended with Lucia tucking him in and reading a story.

Olivia had gone to shower while Lucia read Noah goodnight. Raphael was on his laptop, looking over class notes and checking emails.

"So Raphael you finally made me a grandma, when are you making me a mother-in-law?" Lucia asked.

Raphael blushed.

"It's been five months," Raphael mentioned.

"You've known each other for six going on seven years!" Lucia stated back.

"Yes, I know, but we were friends, we still have a lot to consider," Raphael stated.

"I suppose you're right, but I mean you are settling down with her, you just adopted her son." Lucia pointed out.

"I know Mami, I know, and I love Olivia, and I want nothing more than marry her one day, but neither one of us hasn't come close to a relationship like that in a very long time," Raphael told his mother.

"I'm just saying neither one of you is getting any younger, I would like to see you walk down the aisle mijo," Lucia stated.

"As would I."Raphael admitted.

Olivia came out of the shower, and heard muffled voices in the living room. She couldn't tell what Raphael and his mother were talking about but slowly dressed, knowing they needed some time alone. Times like this, she wondered what her mother would say. She knew her mother well enough to know that she would have an issue with everything going on. For one, she would never want Olivia to have adopted Noah, and put her down for all the hours she worked, how long she went without being a mother, and why would she want a child at home knowing she could be attacked and killed any second she was at work. She closed her eyes and shook her mother's voice out of her head. She loved her mother, but in moments like these, she was glad that she wasn't around to poke into her life.

Olivia put on a pair of yoga pants and an NYPD shirt she closed the bedroom door behind her, giving some type of signal she had returned.

When Olivia came in, Lucia and Raphael were talking about her school year and when she was going to retire.

"You know Raphael I can retire when I want, and maybe now you made me a grandmother, it will be sooner rather than later," Lucia stated.

Olivia smiled at Lucia and Raphael

"I'm glad that Noah will have a grandmother now," Olivia stated.

"You could have asked a long time ago, he's a beautiful boy Olivia, I'm just glad that he's got a big family now," Lucia commented.

Lucia and Raphael discussed several of his closest family members, and Lucia had stories for each and every one of them. They talked late into the night, Raphael offered to take his mother home, but she was insistent she could get home herself. Olivia hugged her goodbye, and Raphael looked tired.

It was pushing midnight, and it had been a long day for the two of them. Raphael and Olivia headed to bed.

"Hey Liv, is Noah it?" Raphael asked.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Do you want more kids?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know Noah, is enough for me right now, and I know I wouldn't want to do diapers again," Olivia stated.

"I was just wondering," Raphael stated.

"Do you want more kids?" Olivia asked.

"I never even thought about having one. I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into." Raphael claimed.

Olivia laughed.

"I can't say for certain because six months ago, there is no way you could have told me any of this would happen, so right now I am saying I can't see us with another kid of any age, but I am not saying in the next six months it won't happen," Olivia stated.

"I understand that Liv, I'm just excited that Noah is mine. I was so happy when you adopted him. I didn't know you felt this good!" Raphael stated.

"Yeah, it was a high that lasted a little while, I'm glad you know how it feels," Olivia stated.

They kissed each other before falling asleep.

The next morning came, and it was as though nothing had changed, but Olivia had copies of Raphael's adoption in Noah's bookbag to be sent to school, as well as an excuse for the day previous. Raphael was hurrying around getting ready for his full day at NYU, knowing he wouldn't be home until late.

Olivia was somehow already ready, and Raphael was never quite sure how she got ready so quickly. She was cooking eggs, and there were bagels prepared to go. Noah, eating quickly, knowing Lucy would be there at any time to come get him.

The three of them headed in separate directions as they walked down to the street together. Lucy turned left to walk Noah to school. Olivia turned right directed towards the precinct, and Raphael crossed the street to get to his car. He hated Wednesdays. He loved the fact that Thursday he had all the time in the world, but Wednesdays left him feeling rushed. It was something he was used to, but he didn't like it.

Olivia went to work, looking at a new case. She sighed as she read the file. Louis Helman was 12 years old. He was in a group shelter and just disclosed that before being removed from his parent's care due to drug use issues, his uncle had also made him and sister have sex with each other.

Neither child has ever been interviewed by police, and Olivia knew these cases could be tricky, so many people talked to them about their parents, they were more than likely closed off, and the abuse happened a few years prior. There were no details who the man was or what exactly happened, just an initial report from a child physiatrist that saw him this week.

Olivia decided the best course of action as she and Fin would go talk to the psychiatrist. Rollins and Carasi would stop by child protective services to make sure they had no information and get a feel for how easy it would be for the kids to open up.

Olivia and Fin arrived at Dr. Linda Defoe's office at 10:30 am.

"Hi, I am detective Olivia Benson, this my partner, I was hoping I could speak with Dr. Defoe," Olivia told the receptionist.

The lady smiled and was very friendly, "She is in with a client right now, if you can wait a few minutes, she is just finishing up, and I can see what she can do." The receptionist claimed.

Olivia and Fin sat both fidgeting, and ultimately opening up their phones, scrolling through waiting for time to pass.

Finally, Dr. Defoe came out, she knew why they were both here, and she had already pulled Louis's file.

"Detective's come in, I have a client in about 15 minutes, and I can probably hold her for about 15 minutes, but that's the best I can do for now." Dr. Defoe stated.

"That's fine," Olivia stated.

"We're just wondering about specifics, and how likely it would be for Louis to be willing to make an official statement," Olivia claimed.

"I'm sorry, detectives. I don't know anything about his sister Rachel but based on previous documents. I don't know how willing or convincing he would be. I believe him, but his story is from so long ago, and he has never disclosed before last week." Dr. Defoe stated.

"Just tell us what you know." Fin claimed.

The doctor nodded her head.

"Well, he is currently at the Helping Hands Shelter, he was placed there about one month ago, after he and his sister Rachel were removed from their parent's care. It was drug-related. They had no other family or friends. The foster care homes in New York are beyond capacity, so he wound up at the shelter. Every child who is taken to a facility has to have a full mental and physical health screening, and I was doing an assessment." Dr. Defoe stated.

"I asked him if he had ever been touched in a way that made him feel uncomfortable, he said that he had when I asked when he told me several times about his sister, I wasn't sure where he was going, and he refused to give details. I asked him if he had ever been sexually abused and said yes, by his sister." Dr. Defoe explained.

"So Rachel, you said was the sister?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, she's not my patient, and she isn't at the same shelter, All I know is that she is 14 and her name is Rachel Helman." Dr. Defoe claimed.

"Okay, what did Louis tell you," Fin asked.

"This is what he told me this last visit, I have redacted anything not specifically about this. I apologize for all the cover-up, but I do need to keep confidentiality with him." Dr. Defoe explained.

Olivia and Fin were going through the report, and they both had some follow up questions.

"It says here it happened when he was nine, and his sister was 11, did he say why he just said something last week?" Fin asked.

"I asked him that, and he said, "no one has ever asked." Dr. Defoe stated.

"He says uncle Max, but I take it he never gave a last name?" Olivia claimed.

"No last name, no address, couldn't even tell me if he lived in New York." Dr. Defoe claimed.

"Okay, did he say the last time he saw uncle, Max?"

"No, he just said that it was taken care of now." Dr. Defoe pointed at the line in the paper.

"I asked him what that meant, but he wouldn't answer me, I asked him if uncle Max was still alive, but he said he didn't know." Dr. Defoe stated.

"Do you think he would talk to you more about it, would you be willing to go to a child advocacy center?" Olivia asked.

"I would be willing. I don't know how much he would say, but I could certainly try." Dr. Defoe admitted.

Fin and Olivia smiled and headed back to the office. Amanda and Sonny had beat them back to the squad room.

"So, what do we have?" Olivia asked.

"Worker hasn't seen Louis since they dropped him off at the facility. They have no previous claims of sexual abuse. The lady didn't even know the kids that well. Rachel Helman 14 is staying at the Lavince's School for girls. It's for "troubled youth," Carasi stated as he used his fingers to quote.

"Of course it is," Olivia claimed.

"So, according to Dr. Defoe, she did a mental health evaluation and asked the standard questions. According to her report, Louis claims for about one year when he was nine, and Rachel was 11, uncle Max would invite them out to do things, go to the zoo, play in the park, get ice-cream. He said at least five times that year after going out and doing something. He would take the kids back to his apartment and "force them to have sex with each other." When Dr. Defoe asked him what that meant, he said. "We had to get naked, and I would stick my dick inside her until I would cum." Dr. Defoe asked what would happen if we said no, and he said, "Uncle Max never asked we were always told. If I said no, we would be both be dead." When Dr. Defoe asked why he thought he would die if he didn't do it, he said "because uncle Max was a drunk and if he didn't get his way, he beat people. We both knew not to question him." Dr. Defoe asked if Louis knew why he stopped. He said: "Don't worry about it. It was taken care of." We have no information about uncle Max. We don't even know where he lives or if he's even alive."

Amanda's eyes scanned the paperwork they had gotten.

"Maxwell Odamyer, Maternal uncle, he is listed as next of kin possibilities for placement but ruled out due to criminal history," Amanda quickly sated.

Fin typed his name in looking for him in the system.

"He's currently in Rikers already, unrelated charge, doing 25 life for a slew of other charges." Fin stated.

"So, is it even worth it to pursue?" Sony asked.

"I don't know," Olivia admitted.

After getting more information, it was found that Max was up for parole next year. This was something to pursue. The next step was getting the data from the kids. Adults were terrible enough, but kids, kids were hard, and it instantly lowered their odds of conviction, but it was something that had to be done.


	24. Adding to the Calendar

A/N: So it's official I have written the epilogue for this story it will be 33 Chapters. The ending wrote itself. I was running out of ideas and had Olivia thinking about her life and decided to end it there and then an epilogue. I feel sort of relieved that it's finished. I have difficultly finishing stories. I am happy the way it turned out and I hop you guys enjoy! Please Review

Olivia looked at the calendar and could barely believe that it was the week of Halloween. Sonny and Fin agreed to cover so Amanda and Olivia could take the kids trick-or-treating. She looked at her schedule for today and realized there was a grand jury hearing for Louis and his sister. Olivia knew the stories were inconsistent, but it did help that Max had a sexual assault charge in the past as well as two domestic violence charges. The kids would never have to testify in court even if it did go to trial, using the video evidence from the child advocacy center would count as their testimony.

Olivia watched the tapes from a few weeks ago, making sure nothing had been missed. She and Stone had gone over it, and they both thought it had a 50/50 chance to go through.

She looked at Louis's first she noticed he had tried so hard to look older than what he was, he was "playing it cool." He was very straight forward, acting tough, acting like all of the things that his uncle Max made him do hadn't affected him, but the look in his eyes said everything. It explained so much of his behaviors up until then. She was sad for him for his sister. She then watched his sister's who had a completely different story but did admit that uncle Max had made her and Louis have sex on multiple occasions.

She sighed, not knowing how it was going to go, not wanting to think of all the what-ifs she closed the laptop. She closed her eyes and looked over her email, and the growing stack of paperwork going back and forth between the 2 things until the grand jury meeting.

When Olivia got to the courthouse, she knew she would just be waiting, the case was in the middle, but she wanted to be there to support Stone anyway she could. When she got to the courthouse, they were taking a break. Stone looked like he was sick.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, it's just a long day, the grand jury, they aren't intrigued by anything, I found 3 people sleeping already," Stone admitted.

Olivia sighed, knowing that days like this end up frustrating. She sighed and patted him on the back, knowing he was doing the best he could. If Olivia had to admit it, she knew why Jack McCoy hired him. She wished that more than anything this was Raphael instead, but she knew why it wasn't. She sighed as they went back in, she would know soon enough if they would proceed to trial.

She knew when Stone walked out, and his head was down, that it hadn't gone well for him.

"Your case got through, but out of 12, I only got 5." Stone claimed.

Olivia sighed, knowing it was a loss for him, but she thanked him anyways before heading back to the office and ending her day.

Raphael had made it home early, and he and Noah were currently going over homework. Raphael wasn't sure how they expected 2 working parents to help their kid with homework. He had to do math, spelling, reading, and science. Raphael thought it was a lot to ask of a 7-year old and spent over an hour and a half with no breaks, and working diligently. When Olivia walked through the door, they had just finished. Raphael had asked what she wanted for dinner, insisting that he would make whatever she wanted.

When Olivia looked through the fridge, she saw chicken breasts and a lot of vegetables. So a chicken salad sounded perfect. Noah argued that they had salad too much and would much prefer pancakes for dinner, but when his idea got shot down but with the promise of ice-cream for dessert, he agreed to eat the chicken salad.

Raphael was nervous there were only 7 weeks left for the semester, and he was starting to work on the finals, his midterm had been papers for all his classes, but for his finals, were tests, and he was hoping that he had taught them enough. He knew that not everyone would pass, but he wondered how much of that would be a reflection of teaching. He looked over at Olivia and Noah having a conversation about each other's day. Raphael talks to Noah about his day, but Olivia has a way of explaining everything on Noah's level. Raphael was convinced that she could explain physics to the boy if she had too.

Raphael and Noah enjoyed a big bowl of ice-cream. Olivia refused a bowl for herself, but Raphael noticed her stealing more than just a few bites from his bowl. Noah giggled in delight as Olivia tried to sneak a bite when Raphael wasn't looking. It was getting late, and after the ice-cream was eaten, Olivia took Noah to bed.

"Lucy starts her new schedule next week," Raphael mentioned.

"Yeah, I know, Olivia stated.

"We got it worked out, right?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, on Wednesday's Amanda and I are working it out with her sitter or herself.

"The college has a Halloween family event I have to do this Saturday," Raphael claimed.

"I thought we were going to take Noah trick or treating," Olivia claimed.

"I thought so too, but I have barely been asked to do anything this semester. I have been fielding calls for legal aid 2-3 times and just been going to meetings as required, so I thought I better do this." Raphael stated.

Olivia nodded, understanding what he meant.

"You said it's a family event?" Olivia stated.

"Yeah Noah is welcome of course, I won't be able to walk around with you,I have to pass out candy, and I have to set up "Scary Law Facts" which apparently is supposed to do with crime rates in the city as well as obscure laws. It's already been made I just have to stick up posters everywhere and put cobwebs up." Raphael explained.

"Maybe a scary fact should be that 1 and 5 girls get sexually abused on the school campus," Olivia mentioned.

"Apparently that is covered in the freshman orientation class," Raphael claimed.

Olivia's eyebrows shot up. Surprised, but Raphael had stated he had heard some students in his intro to law class talking about it. He went to the library and went over the book learning a lot about the college itself, it talked about local laws, and all the buildings as well as useful information about the city in general. Olivia was surprised but happy that the kids at least get a warning.

"I don't need to go in until late," Olivia mentioned.

"Hmm, well, my schedule's pretty free tomorrow," Raphael stated.

"I wonder what we can do with the time?" Raphael claimed.

"After Lucy gets Noah, I can think of a few things," Olivia claimed. The two of them walked over to his windows and looked out. Olivia turned to look at Raphael, imparticular his lips and pushing her lips to his. Soon enough, her hands were roaming underneath his shirt. He smiled against her lips.

"I thought we were doing this tomorrow morning," Raphael asked.

"Oh, we are. This is just a preview," Olivia claimed.

"A preview, huh?" Raphael asked.

"Yes, Olivia whispered as she rubbed her thumb over one of his nipples.

"Liv, I don't need a preview I know exactly what I'm going to get into with you," Raphael claimed.

Olivia furrowed her brows and pulled away.

Raphael knew he said the wrong thing but wasn't sure why.

"Liv, I didn't mean it badly."

"But are you saying that it's boring, that you know exactly what to expect every time we're in bed together?" Olivia asked.

"No! I was saying that I know every time we're together, it's incredible. I am saying that with you I don't need a preview because, Liv, I could have easily come right there in the living room fully clothed, I love you, and I love whenever I'm with you if it's talking, or hanging out or having sex it doesn't matter." Raphael claimed.

"That's not how it sounded to me," Olivia claimed.

Raphael huffed.

"I never said sex with you was boring. It's not by far," Raphael said and wrapped her in a hug.

Olivia shook her head, getting too wrapped up in past issues with other people, she desperately wanted to believe him, but there was a little shred of doubt still in the back of her mind. She kissed him again, and they both stood there in each other's arms for a few minutes until Olivia got a text.

She looked at her phone, knowing it could be work-related. It was Sonny. "Hey, Jesse is demanding a play date with Noah, I'm off tomorrow, can I pick him up after school?" He asked.

"Of course, Lucy will have him at my apartment. It's supposed to rain. You can hang out there." Olivia claimed.

"Sounds good," Sonny claimed.

"Well, it seems that it might be a full house tomorrow. Sonny is bringing Jesse over, and that means if we're slow, Amanda will be there. I won't be home until 10, so make sure Noah gets to bed at a decent hour." Olivia claimed.

"Of course," Raphael stated.

Olivia and Raphael separate for a little bit, Olivia reads a book, and Raphael is listening to a podcast he is behind on. They sit in the living room in their own worlds until Olivia looks at the time approaching midnight. Raphael realizes its getting late, and they go to bed together.

Olivia wakes up the next morning, sending Noah off to school with Lucy while Raphael slept in. She decides to make omelets for breakfast. Raphael walks into the kitchen as she is just about done with his.

"My nose woke me up," Raphael claimed.

"Really, Rafa, I don't understand how you're constantly hungry." Olivia laughed.

Raphael and Olivia ate their omelets, and Olivia made an excuse about needing to go to her apartment. Raphael didn't mind. They got dressed for the day and went to her apartment.

She walked through the door and noticed that even though they almost split time between both places, this just didn't feel the same. It wasn't like she suddenly disliked the area, it was just becoming more of a nuisance than anything. Lucy had been fine with getting Noah from Raphael's place, and James had even mentioned he doesn't work far from the apartment building.

Olivia was going to work 2 pm-10 pm tonight, they had a case Stone had been working and Olivia had a feeling that she was going to be needed for an interview that scheduled at 4 pm. It was barely 10 am, and although last night she had the doubt in the back of her mind, she had thought long into the night that maybe they needed another conversation.

Olivia had him up against the door, kissing him, and he was already ready to just go to the bedroom.

"About last night." Olivia started.

Raphael literally groaned out in frustration.

"We already talked about this, Liv." Raphael bit. As he kissed her hard and let his touch her breasts over her clothing and she couldn't help but moan out.

"I know, but I was wondering, do you want to try something else?" Olivia asked.

"Mmmm depends," Raphael stated as Olivia started kissing him again, pushing her body against him.

"I mean, I'm not trying to push anything onto you," Olivia claimed.

"I know," Raphael stated.

"I just, did you, are you." Olivia was blushing, not sure how to ask what she was about to ask.

Raphael looked at her; oddly. She always knew what to say and how to say it.

"I don't want you offended, or you take this wrong way." Olivia started.

"Just say it, Liv," Raphael said as he was getting more frustrated.

"You're bisexual, and I just wondered if you were into anal sex," Olivia said quickly.

Raphael had to think about it for a minute.

"I'm not sure what you're asking," Raphael claimed.

"Well, I have toys, and I just thought if it's something you would want to do..."Olivia claimed.

Raphael thought about it again.

"I'm not opposed to it, I guess, It feels different, but I can't say I miss it. I wasn't on bottom too often." Raphael admitted.

"I just don't want you missing out," Olivia claimed.

"Well, obviously, I've been missing out on using something on you," Raphael claimed.

Olivia blushed.

"I don't think we've needed to," Olivia claimed.

"That's an accurate statement," Raphael claimed.

Olivia laughed, and the two of them continued exploring each other. It wasn't until Olivia felt the cold wall of the kitchen behind her back that she realized they were both naked, she was to engrossed in his eyes and lips to notice. Then she felt his erection against her leg, and her knees bent involuntarily. Raphael picked up on one of her legs, looking into her eyes.

"This okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yes," Olivia claimed.

They were up against the wall. The chill of the wall and the heat of his body made her already feel close to an orgasm. When he slid into her, she almost fell over in delight, Raphael kept her held tight, and Olivia and Raphael found their rhythm. Olivia felt her high spike as she felt Raphael go over the edge, and she moaned in pleasure, begging him to push faster, and when he did, she went over the edge, holding on tight as soon as she felt herself come back to earth her leg had cramped. She winched when Raphael carefully put her leg down.

Olivia rubbed the muscle. "Worth it," she smiled.

Raphael smiled and stepped away. Olivia was now freezing, and without saying anything, went directly to her bedroom and laid under the covers trying to get warm. Raphael followed her, pushing close against her wrapping his body around hers.

She would be lying if she said she didn't want to do it all over again. But something about just being pressed up against each other, warming each other, occasionally saying a word or two, just being their together was sensual, and she felt like she had a whole different connection with him. Olivia and Raphael just hold each other until Olivia realizes she has about an hour until she needs to leave, so she gets ready to go.

Raphael waits for to shower, he takes a quick shower himself and gets dressed. When he comes out, their clothes are still littered all over the floor, and he picks them up.

"I'll see you later," Olivia claimed.

"I'll be here," Raphael stated.

Raphael looked over his emails, finding the law school is doing a canned food drive, and there was a competition between the students and staff. It would start next week and end November 15th. Raphael was annoyed that it was right around the holidays when it seemed most food drives were, thinking they should have done it at the beginning of the year, but he knew he would participate. He got another email about a student and staff holiday party it was a formal event, December 6th the last weekend before finals. Then there was a staff and family party that was casual on the following Saturday.

Raphael added the events to his calendar and sighed. He looked at the Calander again. He was teaching the same classes the next semester, and other than a few minor tweaks, he felt comfortable with everything, including his undergraduate course. Raphael looked around Olivia's apartment. He felt comfortable here and could see living here just as comfortably as his own apartment. With all the Christmas emails, he was wondering if it was a good time to bring it up. The weather would be bad before they knew it. Moving in the cold wasn't anything anyone wanted to do. Raphael wasn't even sure what Olivia's lease looked like, but he desperately wanted his family to be together.

Raphael lingered on the word family because that's what Olivia and Noah were to him. He didn't know when that word became synonymous with Oliva and but he smiled about it. Raphael was working on an exercise for is Trial Advocacy class when Lucy came thought the door with Noah.

"When is Uncle Sonny coming with Jesse?" Noah asked.

"Hello to you, too," Raphael stated.

Lucy laughed.

"I think it's amazing that he wants to play with her, she is so much younger than him," Lucy claimed.

"Well, they've been close since he was little, and I think she's family to him," Raphael claimed.

Lucy shook her head.

"So uncle Sonny is bringing Jesse?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, they finally made it work official after you guys left Noah's adoption party," Raphael explained.

"How is everything going with your classes?" Raphael asked.

"As long as I don't screw up my thesis, which so far so good. I graduate on December 12th." Lucy stated.

"You'll do fine," Raphael assures her.

"Even though I've been accepted, I can't start NYU until the fall," Lucy explained.

"That will give you time to adjust, you know you can go full-time Olivia, and I can work something out," Raphael explained.

"I know I could, and I've been thinking about it. Grad school is a lot fewer hours for full time, I think maybe moving in with James is a good idea." Lucy stated.

"What made you change your mind?" Raphael asked.

"The fact, that I'm done with undergraduate studies, and if I go full time I'll be done in 2 years, and there is no reason between being here, and at home and at James house to pay all that rent for a place I barely see," Lucy concluded.

"Maybe find a new place together?" Raphael claimed.

"No way there something about his place that makes me feel at home," Lucy claimed.

Raphael shook his head in understanding.

"Well, if you don't need anything, I am headed off," Lucy claimed.

"No, I'll see you Thursday," Raphael claimed.

Lucy nodded her head and walked back out the door.

Raphael looked at Noah.

"Uncle Sonny will be here soon, do you have any homework?" Raphael asked.

"No," Noah responded.

"Are you sure?" Raphael asked.

Noah nodded his head, and then there was a knock on the door.

"UNCLE SONNY AND JESSE!" Noah screamed.

Raphael walked over to the door looking through the peephole and unlocked the door.

"Come in," Raphael stated.

Jesse went through the door and hugged Noah, Noah told her all about school, and Jesse was excited to hear about it.

"So everything with you and Rollins seems to be good," Raphael claimed.

"Yeah, more than good," Sonny admitted.

"What does that mean?" Raphael asked.

"Don't tell Liv, but I'm moving in with her," Sonny admitted.

"Congratulations," Raphael stated.

"It makes me nervous," Sonny admitted.

"I have a feeling you practically live there already." Raphael pointed out.

"You're right, but it makes it so final," Sonny explained.

"Don't you want it to be final?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, it's not that it's just different, I guess," Sonny stated.

"Are you coming with us?" Sonny asked.

Raphael hadn't thought about it, but he would like to spend some time with his friend and Noah, so he grabbed a jacket and made sure Noah had a warm hoodie, and they walked the kids to the park.

Raphael and Sonny laughed as a woman thought they were together and adopted Noah and Jesse. They didn't correct her simply said, "thanks." The two talked about the kids, and their job watching as Noah and Jesse play in a sandbox, then go to the swings, Jesse still not tall enough to put her feet on the ground. Sonny walked over the swing set, and Raphael followed. The two men caught up, talked to the kids, and secretly took them to get ice-cream before returning to the apartment.

"Now, no telling mommy we spoiled your dinner with ice-cream," Sonny mentioned as they walked back to Olivia's apartment.


	25. This is Halloween

An: Okay, guys, I am sorry for not updating sooner. I have been reading SO MUCH Fanfiction lately from so many amazing writers, and I've been sucked in neglecting my writing, this is DONE, and I still haven't posted… ANYWAYS just so you have some perspective, it's currently 12:50 am, I still need to shower, and I have to be at work at 9 am… Also, I am typing this before I proof this chapter, so if I make it to bed by two, it will be a real miracle! I want to say thanks to all the writers who are reading this and also writing amazing stories. I recognize your usernames! Thanks!

It was the weekend of Halloween. Noah insisted on dressing up as a pirate. He also wanted to go with Dalton trick-or-treating. His mom worked that day, and Olivia agreed to take them around the apartment complex, and drop Dalton off back at his apartment before going and meeting up with Raphael. The two kids got more candy than she knew what to do with. There buckets full just from their apartment building. Olivia looked through all of their candy, throwing out some homemade items just in case and stealing a treat or two for herself.

When Olivia dropped Dalton off at home, she was worried no one was home. No one was answering the door, but luckily his aunt was right behind her. She had run to get food for dinner.

"I am so sorry the bodega across the street is a madhouse." Dalton's aunt claimed.

"I understand," Oliva claimed.

"You know Dalton can come over anytime Raphael or I am here. I know we're not here every day, but Noah and Dalton seem to be close, and I don't mind watching him if you have things you need to do." Olivia claimed.

"I appreciate that. If he asks, I will come to knock on your door." Dalton's aunt replied.

"Well, Happy Halloween," Olivia claimed.

Olivia and Noah made it to the NYU campus right on time. The whole area was decorated; kids were all over the place. It seemed they had a children's area set up, as well as activities for the students. She was sure it was a deterrent from drinking, but it did seem like a lot of fun. There were so many people dressed up. She had a witch hat on, but that was as far as she was going. It was only after Noah begged her to dress up too.

Olivia and Noah walked into the Law school. There was a line to get in. Apparently, the law school had made a kid-friendly haunted house, and it is decorated top to bottom with all the usual Halloween themes. It wasn't overly scary, but people were popping out of doors. There were college students dressed up like zombies saying, "I have to get this paper done." or "I forgot to study for the test." She was laughing more than being frightened. There were several open rooms giving out cand, and they finally made to the room Raphael was in.

"Daddy!" Noah screamed. Several people looked at him, the little boy.

"Hey, Noah! How was your day?" Raphael asked.

"Dalton and I got so much candy. He was dressed up as a magician." Noah explained.

"That's really cool," Raphael claimed.

"Well, there are a lot of kids who want some candy. You and mommy finish here, and I will be done before you know it, and I will meet you outside for some of the other things, okay." Raphael stated.

"Can't stay and help you?" Noah asked.

"It will be boring after a while mijo, just go with your mom and get more candy. I will see you soon." Raphael stated.

Olivia gave Raphael a peck on the cheek and went on to the next few rooms with Noah. When they were finally done, a student was passing out schedules of events for the rest of the evening.

It was still early evening Raphael would be done by 6pm, and it was currently 5:30. Olivia read through the events. They were split into family-friendly adults only and students only. She had to laugh when one of the events was scary trivia. It was for adults only, and the description stated: Join us for a multiple-choice trivia party, this isn't about horror movies or books, this is about scary, real-world statistics.

She looked at the family-friendly events. It included a historical tour of the university leaving every 30 minutes. An apple cider press with free cider. There were a pumpkin carving and decoration station. They had a few other crafting options. They also had various street vendors, face painting, and usual carnival-like events. The student's lounge also had a bird sanctuary showing off owls and crows. The last event ended at 8pm, and it was kid-friendly ghost story in one of the older buildings.

When Raphael was done, Noah insisted on watching the apple cider being made. Of course,, it was on the opposite side of campus, not a long walk, but it was already getting dark, and once they got there, they thought Noah wouldn't be very interested.

The man making the apple cider was very engaging. There were a few people around but not too many, so Olivia allowed Noah to stand in front to see how the press worked. To Raphael and Olivia's surprise, Noah was very interested in the way everything worked. Noah didn't ask any questions but was very engaged with the man's storytelling, and showing each step of the apple cider process. When his demonstration was over, he had small cups of cider to try and had half gallons for sale. Noah was in awe of the fact that he had watched the cider was drinking be made right in front of him.

Olivia and Raphael had decided a street vendor was the best way for a meal tonight, and Noah looked around, deciding that he wanted tacos. Olivia and Raphael agreed tacos sounded good. They were authentic, not like a lot of the pandering taco truck filling flour tortillas with a little bit of meat and a ton of lettuce and cheese. They had pork beef chicken and fish. They had corn tortillas and a multitude of options for toppings. There was no seating but several high top tables. Olivia sat Noah on the table, having his tacos on his lap. She knew it would messy, but that was the best they could do unless he sat in the dirt. So they ate their tacos and then started walking to the student lounge because Noah wanted to see the birds.

They were halfway to the lounge when Raphael noticed a student of his Mya. The girl was tall with brown hair and brown eyes. She stood out in his intro to law school class, she had good intuition, and when they had debates about law, she wasn't afraid to share her opinion. He thought she was an excellent candidate for law school. There were only about 10 kids in his intro into law that seemed to go the extra mile, and she was one of them.

"Mya enjoying your Halloween?" Raphael asked.

It was then he noticed she had been crying. The tears were not actively falling, but there were streaks down her face. Her nose was bright red, and her eyes were bloodshot.

She quickly put on a fake smile. She diverted the question.

"This must be your family," Mya stated.

'Yes, this is Noah and this Olivia." Raphael claimed.

Mya instantly squatted down to Noah's level.

"It's nice to meet you, Noah, you know your daddy is a good professor."

Noah shook his head. He was usually shy, but for whatever reason, he opened up to her.

"Yeah, mommy is a cop. She finds the bad people. Daddy used to make sure they stay in jail, but now he teaches others so they can make sure the bad people stay in jail." Noah claimed.

Mya put on a real smile.

"Well, it sounds like your mommy and daddy are doing really good," May claimed.

Noah smiled and shook his head.

"Why were you crying, did someone take your candy?" Noah asked.

Mya laughed, but it was a bitter tone.

"No, Noah, something else, but I'll be okay," Mya claimed.

Olivia and Raphael obviously heard the exchange.

"Are you okay, Mya?" Raphael asked.

Mya looked at Raphael. She could see the concern in his eyes, and she broke.

"No," Mya claimed, and she leaned into the man, without knowing what else to do, he wrapped his arms around her.

"Is this okay?" Raphael asked.

Mya shook her head.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know," Mya stated.

"Well if it's school-related I can see what I can do, you said someone took something, did someone steal something Olivia can help you with a police report." Raphael began.

Mya lightly pushed away.

"I don't know," Mya stated again.

"Just tell us what's wrong," Olivia stated.

Mya looked down at Noah and shook her head.

"Oh, okay, um, would you feel more comfortable talking with professor Barba or me?" Olivia asked.

"Just forget about it," Mya said quickly.

Raphael sighed.

"Can I least make sure you get where you're going safely?" Raphael asked.

"I'm in campus housing, I was on my way back my building is right there." Mya pointed.

The building was across the street a couple buildings up.

"Here, if you think I can help you in any way," Olivia stated.

Olivia had a business card on her she always did, and handed it over to Mya.

"Thanks," Mya stated.

"I just really want to get home. If I need something, I'll let one of you know. \

"What was that about?" Olivia asked.

"I have no idea," Raphael stated.

"Maybe she just had to much to drink and was headed home. She's a good student. I can't imagine her having academic issues." Raphael stated.

Olivia just nodded.

The interaction all in all was only about 5 minutes, and even though both adults were a little shaken by the event, they continued to the student lounge.

There were a lot more people here, a lot of students and families alike were currently in the large ballroom. The bird sanctuary had several birds on display. They were all sitting out well trained. They were going bird by bird, showing several owls and talking about how owls became a symbol of Halloween. Then they had a crow and talked about that as well. Although they didn't have bats because bats were not birds, they discussed them as well. Noah once again was engaged in the topic and was excited every time one of the birds would fly around the room. The whole thing lasted an hour, and Olivia and Raphael both agreed they should be headed home, back to her apartment tonight. He was ready to crash, and sometime tomorrow was responsible for taking down all the décor he had to put up and put it into storage.

The three of them were walking back to their car, it was in the direction of the building Mya had stated was hers.

This time Olivia had noticed that Mya was outside of the building, a guy was yelling at her.

Olivia simply pointed in the direction of the noise. It wasn't so loud that many people would notice, but it was well above conversation tone.

"Randy, I told you to leave," Mya stated.

"Listen, Randy, if you don't leave, I'm calling the cops," Mya claimed.

Mya walked back towards the building, but Randy grabbed her by the arm, stopping her dead in her tracks, and she pulled back hard. He couldn't maintain the grip. Mya almost fell.

Raphael was about to storm over to the building, but Olivia stopped him. They continued to watch.

"Fuck, Randy, go away," Mya stated.

She went towards the door again, but this time, Randal wrapped his arms around Mya's waist. She screamed loudly as he picked her up off the ground.

Noah was hiding behind Olivia, and she was dialing 911 frantically.

As Mya began kicking and screaming, Raphael started screaming at the man to stop.

Randal continued for a brief second before dashing off.

"Mya, are you okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Olivia called police," Raphael stated.

Mya sighed.

"I don't really want to talk about it. You scared him off." Mya claimed.

"This time." Raphael retorted.

A university police car stopped by.

"Mam is this man bothering you?" a young police officer asked.

"No, everything is fine," Mya claimed.

"I got a report that a man was trying to kidnap you."

"I'm fine, this man scared him off," Mya stated.

The university cop got out of his car.

"Do you need medical attention?" the officer asked.

"No, I'm fine." Mya insisted.

"Well, a police officer called this in. Usually, a police officer doesn't call 911 unless there is a problem." The officer described.

At this point, Olivia walked over with Noah.

"Mya, why don't you make a police report," Olivia claimed.

Noah was in his mother's arms at this point.

"Mya, are you okay that man was scary," Noah claimed.

"I'm fine, Noah. I just want to go to my room."

"Can you just tell me what happened?" The officer asked, starting to get annoyed.

Noah wasn't crying, but he was shaken up by the event.

Olivia sighed.

"Mya sweetheart, is this the first time something like this has happened with him?" Olivia asked.

Mya nodded, no.

"Okay, I'm NYPD, would it be okay if I took her statement?" Olivia asked.

"Look this university jurisdiction." the police officer stated.

"I know that, but I've been with SVU for 20 years, let me just talk to her," Olivia claimed.

The police officer nodded his head.

"Is there somewhere private we can go talk, this gentleman needs to sit in on it too," Olivia stated, pointing to the university cop.

Mya shook her head no.

"You can use my office, but I have to be present," Raphael stated.

"That sounds okay," Mya stated.

Olivia called Lucy, who happened to be close by.

Raphael was walking Mya and the university police officer to his office.

"Lucy, I am so sorry, but this is am emergency, Raphael and I witnessed a crime to one of his students this evening. Noah too, and it's going to take a while." Olivia explained.

"Yeah Liv, James and I are out, I have to admit we've had a few drinks, but I promise I'm not drunk," Lucy claimed.

"Just meet me in front of the law school," Olivia stated

Lucy and James came walking across the street.

"Take him where ever you want, I don't know how long we'll be just let me know where you are," Olivia claimed

"Actually James doesn't live too far away from here, is it okay if we take him to James apartment?" Lucy asked.

"I get to see James's apartment?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, sweet boy." Olivia smiled.

"I will text you the address, and you let me know when you're done. Don't worry about how long it takes." Lucy stated.

Olivia walked into Raphael's office.

The police officer had gotten basic demographics of her name birthday address, where she was from. Randy's full name age and where he lived in the city.

Raphael had sequestered himself away in the far corner of the room, the police officer was in one of the chairs along the sidewall. Olivia was sitting in Raphael's chair, and Mya was directly across from her in a chair the opposite side of the desk.

"Okay, Mya, I just want you to be honest, okay," Olivia stated.

Mya shook her head.

"How do you know the man from earlier tonight," Olivia asked.

"We have a mutual friend," Mya stated.

"How long have you known him?" Olivia asked.

"About 1.5 years," Mya claimed.

"How did you meet him?" Olivia asked.

"I had a friend here at NYU, who was a year older than me. When I told her I was thinking about coming here, she let me stay the weekend with her." Mya explained.

"Okay, and that's when you met Randal," Olivia asked.

"Yeah, they are both theater majors, and I went with her to rehearsal," Mya explained.

"So, are you in a relationship with him?" Olivia asked.

"Not exactly," Mya claimed.

"What do you mean by that, Mya?" Olivia asked.

"He asked me outright after he met me, I was 16 at the time, and I told him that. I'm from upstate, he didn't seem to care." Mya stated.

"What do you mean he didn't seem to care," Olivia asked.

"He said it didn't matter that I was beautiful, and if I was coming to NYU, he knew I must be smart."

"I was flattered, but I was a senior in high school, and I knew it wouldn't work out," Mya explained.

"So you graduated high school, you're 17?" Olivia asked.

"No I am 18, we met a week before my birthday so it must have been September 25th, I just turned 18 at the beginning of the month," Mya claimed.

"Okay, so you come to school, and what happened?" Olivia asked.

"To be honest, I forgot about it. I didn't think I'd ever see him again. My friend Maddie said he was sort of creep. She told me not to worry about him. Here I am taking political science as a major with a minor in pycology. I thought I had a pretty low chance of seeing him around, it's a big city." Mya mentioned.

"Do you think he stalked you?" Olivia asked.

"No, he ended up having a math class with me. That first class, he asked me out again." Mya stated.

"I told him no, he seemed to accept it and asked if we could at least be friends. I was hesitant but agreed, and at first, nothing happened." Mya stated.

"What changed?" Olivia asked.

"He would sit next to me in class, we would study together, with a few other kids, I thought everything was fine, but then when we had midterms things changed. He said he was afraid he was going to fail, and since I was so good at math, he asked me to help him out. I agreed, and we meet either at his apartment or mine, he never made me feel uncomfortable until the night before the exam. He begged me to help. He was having a meltdown crying, begging me to go over everything one more time." Mya stated.

My stopped and tears were streaking down her face.

"I showed him all the steps, and he was doing it all right, and at first I just thought he was really excited that he was finally grasping the concept the day before the test, and he kissed me. He immediately apologized, and although I was uncomfortable, I thought it was just excitement. So I let it go." Mya stated.

The next night there was a party after the midterms. I had a few drinks. One of the math students hosted the party, and Randy was there. He smiled at me and thanked me for helping him, and then he started kissing me again. I told him to stop, but he told me I was making a scene. I told him I didn't care that he needed to stop, and I pushed him away. A bunch of people noticed, and he stormed out. He texted me, telling me he was sorry and wanted to meet me at Starbucks for an apology. I agreed to go." Mya explained.

"He told me he was sorry about the night before that he was drunk and he didn't mean to do those things and hoped we could still be friends, I told him this was his last chance," Mya stated.

"Then what leads to tonight?" Olivia asked.

"I was with our mutual friend Danielle, I didn't know she was taking me to a party with all the theater majors, and he showed up. I told Danielle I needed to go, and I didn't feel comfortable with Randal being at the party. She rolled her eyes and said to me that I was dramatic, and I needed to switch majors. He wasn't drunk when he came around me, he told me he liked my outfit, he talked about his classes, he wasn't really flirting. I thought that it would be okay. I was only there for about an hour, and it just seems like his whole personality changed. Danielle had asked me if I wanted something to drink, but I didn't want to be drunk around him. He got mad because I wasn't drinking and said I didn't trust him.

I told him I just didn't want to drink, and all of a sudden, he had me pinned against the wall. He said that I was trying to find an excuse not to want him. He kissed me hard, and pushed his hands up my shirt, I went to leave, and I ducked under him, but he pushed my head forward into his crotch and moaned out like I was giving him oral."

Mya stopped with the storytelling and began sobbing.

Olivia looked around desperate for tissues, Raphael hadn't needed them in his office but knew there was some in his desk drawer. Olivia looked over at him, and he pointed, she found the box opened it up and handed her the box.

"Take your time," Olivia stated.

Mya sat there for 15 minutes before she continued the story.

"People started to look when he moaned out. I tried to break free, but his legs were pinning me. I stood back up and kneed him the groin, it got him to move off of me, and I went for the door, he grabbed my wrist and said don't be shy. I pulled away from him Danielle saw and told him to get away, and walked me back to the corner of my building she lives over in Greenlawn apartments, so she walked in the right as you and professor Barba saw me."

"Mya, do you know the address of the apartment you were at?" Olivia asked.

"No," Mya stated

"Is it on campus?" Olivia asked.

"No, it's over towards the village," Mya stated.

"Okay." Olivia looked back at Raphael and smiled, the sexual assault was in her jurisdiction, the attempted kidnap she might be able to argue.

"So, what happened between the times we saw each other?" Olivia asked.

"Well, in the apartments, they have security, but everyone knows Randal because he has been there regularly. They wouldn't have thought anything about him being in the building. He knocked on my apartment door, I was in the bathroom my roommate Jessica had no idea, and I didn't want her too. She let him in while I was in the bathroom. I told him to get out, and he said he was just there to apologize and asked me to go back to the party. He was screaming at me, to the point he was scaring Jessica, and she called security. They escorted him out, but our doors are wide open until 9pm, and I was making sure he didn't just walk right back in. Once outside, I told him that I never wanted to see him again and that we no longer friends. He told me that he couldn't live without me, and he was just trying to repay the favor. He kept begging me to go to the party. I told him to leave, and before you got there, he was already trying to pull me out towards the street to follow him, that's when you guys came." Mya stated.

"Do you think he was drunk?" Olivia asked.

"No, I never saw him with a drink, it was just like a flip of a switch," Mya explained.

"Are you willing to press charges?" Olivia asked.

" I don't know I mean he's a senior, and couldn't he get kicked out of class?" Mya asked.

Before Olivia could answer, the university police officer had something to say.

"If you allege he tried to kidnap you, yes, he could very well be expelled, but come on. Obviously, he just wanted you to go to the party." He stated.

"Wait a minute, I saw what happened, He physically picked her up like he was trying to take her."

"She yelled and kicked and got away." The officer stated, "I will file a report. We'll get back in touch if we have any questions." The university officer said, before walking out without even a goodbye.

Mya just wept in the chair.

"He's going to get away with it," Mya stated.

"No, you weren't on campus when he sexually assaulted, you and that's what he did Mya. If you want to, you can press charges for sexual assault, and I can see what the DA has to say about the rest of the night." Olivia stated.

"How could I be so stupid, the university is just going to sweep it under the rug," Mya claimed.

"They might try, but like I said, they have no jurisdiction over what happened at the party. The argument can be made you were on public property, not campus property, with what happened earlier.

"Do you feel safe going back to your apartment?" Olivia asked.

Mya nodded her, yes.

"Do you want to press charges?" Olivia asked.

Mya nodded her head again.

"I need his address," Olivia claimed

Mya gave her the information.

Raphael had heard the whole story, he tried to stay out of her line of sight, but Mya knew he was there.

"Professor, this isn't going to change anything in class, is it?" Mya asked.

"Why would it?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know I mean if Olivia takes this, you were a witness, and can't this hurt your career?" Mya asked.

"I guess technically I could be threatened, but I don't have tenure. They can fire me for any reason, really. I am a lawyer though Mya, if that was the cause I could sue them, it would be difficult to prove I have friends in high places in the city. You shouldn't worry about anything. If you need anything, you know my office hours. I will be here." Raphael stated.

"Thank you," Mya stated.

Olivia gave Mya yet another card wrote her cell phone number on it. She also begged her to come into the precinct so she can provide her contact information for counseling, and explained to her she will have to go over everything with the DA.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Olivia asked.

Mya sighed.

"We're going that way anyway we're parked on the next block," Raphael stated.

Mya shook her head, Raphael turned off his office lights and locked the door. Olivia and Raphael stayed a few steps behind the girl and watched from across the street and watched as she swiped her ID to get into her apartment.

Raphael sighed.

"That's a first of many, most I will never hear about," Raphael stated.

"I'm sorry, Rafa," Olivia stated.

"Just glad you're here," Raphael stated.

"I wonder how many students have a similar story, that they will never tell," Raphael stated.

"Statistically 1 in 3 girls 1 in 5 boys," Olivia claimed.

"I know, but when you put faces and names to numbers, it makes me sick," Raphael stated has stomach churned.

"Just let your classes know you're a safe space, Rafa," Olivia stated.

Olivia and Rapahel walked to the car together, picking up Noah from James. Both were mentally exhausted from the day's events and had to reassure Noah for a long time that night that no one would try to take him away. By the time Olivia and Raphael got to bed, they instantly fell asleep.

A/N: For this chapter and the next, I am going to make university police out in a bad light. I know that it's not the case for every university or police officer. In my job, I work closely with the police. It can go either way, no matter what level of law enforcement. I know where I went to college we were flat out told by professors, RA's and TA's and many other staff that university police were useless because they were pressured into not pressing charges. After all, it makes the campus look bad. Most college students got in trouble in town when they were out drinking at the bars, and local law enforcement arrested them. I worked security for a campus dorm for 3 years. In all that time, I only dealt with police a handful of times, 1 time a kid was given a fine for marijuana possession. Another time they brought a kid home drunk. They made his roommate sign for him (basically asking 1-18 year old to be in responsible for another 18 years old until the one sobered up.) I can't remember the details of the rest.


	26. Students

A/N: If you haven't watched the newest episode that came out on 02/06/2020 you have to watch the first 2 minutes (it was amazing!)

(Tuesday)

Raphael Barba was floored by the response he got to an email he sent out Monday after Mya's attack. He was very vague in his email but sent it to all his students, reminding them that he was a lawyer and that he was a safe space to come too. He had stated that he had worked with the DA's office and, for the previous 6 years, worked primarily with the Special Victims Unit. Out of the 147 students he had, he had gotten 23 responses to his email.

12 of them were thanking him for being there for his students.

3 of them were explaining how hard it was, especially living at the university and how shitty university police were about any crime, especially theft or assault of any kind.

5 of them were legal questions about a myriad of different things from evictions to child custody.

3 of them were asking if they could schedule a meeting time to talk to him outside of office hours, which he quickly agreed too, all able to meet at various times on Thursday.

Raphael had to admit he was slightly worried about what they were going to tell him. He knew that campus crime was high, and reporting was low. He knew that so many people didn't bother reporting things because they didn't want to be seen as needy, or a narc or whatever the reason. He was just hoping that he could help with whatever the students needed.

Raphael was going to get Noah from school. Lucy and James were coming over for dinner. Olivia had promised to make stuffed peppers, one of Noah's favorites.

Olivia had texted Raphael.

"Stone agrees we're going to arrest Randal, can you handle testifying?" Olivia asked.

Raphael stopped in the middle of the sidewalk when he saw the message. He hadn't even thought about it. He was an eye witness to an assault and hopefully, an attempted kidnapping charge for Randal to go away for 20 years, but he never thought about his involvement of going back to the courtroom of sitting the jury box. When he volunteered for legal aid, he had thought he might have to volunteer for some defense work. He could decide when and if he took that on, but now he was dreading the thought of sitting in witness stand again.

His mouth went dry, and for a moment, he forgot where he was. He looked around as people walked around him, and he scrubbed his face and walked towards Noah's school.

He wasn't late to get Noah but was one of the last parents there.

"I'm sorry, Mijo." Raphael instantly said.

"You're late," Noah said flatly.

"I know I'll try to do better next time," Raphael stated.

Noah nodded his head.

"Lucy and James are still coming over, right?" Noah asked.

"Of course, and mommy is making you stuffed peppers," Raphael stated.

Noah was excited and wanted to get home quickly, thinking the faster he got back, the faster his mom would get home, and the faster James and Lucy would get there too. Noah told Raphael all about his day and wasn't until he walked through the door that he noticed Olivia had messaged him multiple times.

-Rafa?

-Hey, are you okay, I'm sorry if I upset you.

-Do you have Noah, can you please just let me know.

-Rafa, you're making me nervous.

Raphael sighed.

-I'm okay. We're home. I'll see you soon. Raphael typed out.

Olivia sent back – I'll see you soon.

Raphael helped Noah with his homework, it wasn't a lot, and Noah seemed to be doing well enough in school he only asked for help twice once for a reading question and another for crossword puzzle he had to do. If Raphael was being honest; it took him a minute to figure out the word they were looking for until he noticed the word bank at the bottom of the page. Olivia came home about an hour later, getting to work on the stuffed peppers knowing they would take at least an hour to cook. By the time James and Lucy got to the door, the peppers were baking, Noah was done with his schoolwork, and the three of them were ready to enjoy their time with the happy young couple.

Lucy knocked on the door, and Olivia answered with Noah right beside of her. He was more interested in James than Lucy at this point. James didn't even get to greet anyone before Noah started asking him all kinds of questions. Lucy and Olivia just watched the two of them. James was used to the questions with his mother foster care children and answered them all to Noah's satisfaction. When the meal was ready, they all sat around the table.

"So Lucy, six more weeks until you graduate, how does it feel?" Olivia asked.

Lucy smiled.

"I'm nervous. Professor Pell has been wonderful and has assured everyone that we will pass as long as we turn in our final thesis. I only have 2 more sections of it. The last section is just a case study of one of the students we've been with over the semester, so I have to say I am pretty confident." Lucy claimed.

"That's wonderful, so anything you're going to do to celebrate?" Raphael asked.

"Well, I think we are planning to go to the Bahamas," Lucy stated.

"It's beautiful." Raphael and Olivia stated at the same time.

"I want to go to the Bahamas!" Noah claimed excitingly.

"Maybe one day Noah," Olivia claimed.

"So, you two have been together?" James asked.

Olivia blushed.

"No, it been about 8 years now," Olivia explained.

Raphael thought about it for a moment it was before he even knew her and in a way that blew his mind because since meeting Olivia, he sort of forgot there was a time before her. It felt as though he has always known her.

Raphael didn't make comments that he had gone just a few years ago, but James and Lucy happily talked about their research into the small country. Noah talked about school and his new favorite game on his tablet that he begged to play after dinner. Olivia allowed the boy to play, and the 4 adults continued to talk about James and Lucy's future plans.

Wednesday morning came much too early for anyone, and it seemed like Olivia, Raphael, and Noah were all as equally grumpy. Raphael was certain his outfit didn't match and changed 3 times before blaming Olivia that he forgot to go to dry cleaners. Olivia blamed Raphael for the fact her new boots were scuffed and claimed he must have scrapped his shoes against hers. Noah was refusing to eat breakfast because they were out of cereal, and he didn't want anything else. Although it wasn't a major blow-up with any of the morning's antics, it made everyone feel on edge, and all three of them felt it all day, including when Raphael got a call from Olivia 15 minutes before his evening class.

"Lucy is over an hour away, and I just got called in can I drop Noah off to you?" Olivia asked.

"Really, Liv, my mom could watch him," Raphael stated.

"I already tried her some PTA thing at the school, and it's too far for me to get there and back Fin already on the scene, and it sounds bad. It's your direction anyway," Olivia claimed.

Raphael sighed.

"Fine, make sure he has his tablet, and headphones, and a coloring book or something. It's a long class, and we have a lot of stuff to work on." Raphael claimed.

"Fine, I'll be there soon," Olivia claimed

Students started filing in, and Olivia still hadn't made it with Noah, it was 5 minutes into class when Olivia pulled on the door to the evening lecture.

"Daddy!" Noah yelled, excited to see Raphael.

Raphael couldn't help but smiled.

"Hey, Mijo," Raphael stated.

Someone near the front row had been heard saying.

"I wish I could call him daddy." There has been a lot of snickering.

Raphael ignored the comment having no idea who it came from, but Olivia heard quite well and also said in a not so whispering tone.

"Guess, it's a good thing that Noah and I are the only ones who get to use that title."

Raphael blushed and couldn't believe Olivia let those words fall from her mouth, but was grateful in a way. He laughed.

"I don't know when I'll see you tonight. It sounds pretty bad." Olivia sighed.

"Okay, I will see you tonight." Raphael squeezed her hand.

Noah sat in the front row and heard his dad talking but was more concerned about angry birds on his tablet and played that for a while before listening to a book. Raphael could tell the boy was getting antsy about ¾ of the way through class. He had been doing so well, but it was close to bedtime, and Raphael wasn't sure if the boy got a proper dinner.

He sighed as he watched him and quickly went through the last bit of information. He told the class he would have extended office hours Thursday if the needed anything and dismissed the class.

"Raphael immediately went and told the boy they were done. He took his hand and lead him to the podium as he packed his things. A few students stopped him asking a few quick questions as he grabbed Noah's hand. He wished he had driven to work, but he hadn't he had taken the subway, not wanting to deal with road work that was happening. At least Uber was fast around campus, and quickly pushed the button, taking Noah back to his place.

Olivia had come late, but Raphael was still awake; it was pushing 1am.

"Everything okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, just years of sexual abuse done by stepdad since the girls been 5 years old, she just turned 16." Olivia sighed.

Raphael went to make some tea. Olivia sat on the couch. He brought the tea over and wrapped her in his arms.

"Never heard you call me daddy in the same context one of my students said tonight," Raphael claimed.

Olivia smirked.

"Not my thing," Olivia said simply.

"Not mine, either." Raphael contended.

"You know the students really shouldn't talk like that." Olivia pointed out.

"You know how kids are, that's the first time I've ever heard anything like that, next time I do I'll address it I wasn't dealing with it when Noah was there, and I couldn't tell who said it." Raphael pointed out.

"I know, must be nice that some college kids find you attractive." Oliva pushed.

"Please, Liv, their kids, I don't want to even think about," Raphael stated.

Olivia shook her head.

Olivia sat sipping on tea.

"I am sorry about this morning," Olivia mentioned.

"It's okay. We were all on edge must have not slept very well." Raphael claimed.

"It's been a stressful few days," Olivia claimed

"I have a feeling it's only going to get worse," Raphael stated.

Olivia sighed.

"Mya's case isn't going to trial, he confessed. Apparently, he is off his medication," Olivia claimed

"Great, so he's getting off," Barba said flatly.

"Actually no, Mya has a restraining order against him, he pleads to 3rd-degree sexual assault and mandated 6 months in a mental health facility he will be on the registry. Mya's good with it." Olivia claimed.

Raphael wasn't sure what he thought about it, but it was a done deal now and no longer his job to analyze the situation.

"You're talking to the students who emailed you yesterday, aren't you?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, first one is at 10am then 11:30 and then 12:30. Raphael pointed out.

"Did anyone give any clues as what they wish to discuss.

"None of them," Raphael stated.

"Well, if you need me," Olivia claimed.

"I know I will call if I need anything," Raphael claimed.

Olivia was tired. It was nearing 2am, and Raphael was going to need to be up by 8 at the latest.

"Let's try to sleep," Olivia stated and walked to the bed. She was quickly throwing clothing around, getting into pajamas, and Raphael couldn't help but stare. He was already ready for bed in a pair of green plaid pants and a t-shirt.

"Thanks for the image before bed," Raphael claimed.

"Glad to give you something to dream about," Olivia stated.

The two laid beside each other, then quickly turned facing away before drifting off to sleep.

Raphael sat at his desk, his stomach nervous at the unknown story he was about to be told. It could be anything, really. Maybe she just had a question about her paper. He was trying to focus on grading a quiz he had his Criminal law class take but was going way slower than he needed. It was a 10 question multiple choice. He already knew the Answers A,C,D,B,B,C,C,A,D,A. Yet here he was looking at the answer sheet and back over at the questions.

It was 9:50 and his door is open. He sees Leslie Neal at his first scheduled meeting. She is smiling, so he takes that either she is extremely nervous or what she is about to say isn't bad.

"Thanks for meeting with me." Lesslie started.

"Of course, what can I help you with?" Raphael asked.

"I thought it would be better to discuss this in person," Leslie started.

"I know you're a new professor, and I was hoping no one has gotten to you yet," Lesslie claimed.

Raphael wasn't sure what the girl was talking about, but he let her continue.

"This is my first year as a graduate student, but I went here for my undergrad as well. Me and a group of friends have really been pushing for more sexual assault prevention. Easier ways to report. Peer support groups and anonymous reporting." Lesslie stated.

"What do you need from me?" Raphael asked.

"I need a faculty co-chair. Professor Lynn Senta is the chair she's already agreed to it, but we also need another professor co-chair." Lesslie stated.

"Don't I need tenure?" Raphael asked.

"Not for co-chair," Lesslie stated.

"And why have no other professor's agreed?" Raphael asked.

"They don't want to think about, thinks it's a non-issue that there is enough support already thought campus police and a campus counseling." Lesslie provided.

Raphael snorted he didn't mean to, but Lesslie just laughed.

"Exactly, please, will you consider it?" Lesslie asked.

"What would be my role," Raphael asked.

"Here is a binder going over everything, I need to know by submission date, which is the end of the term, it wouldn't go in to effect until next fall semester," Lesslie claimed.

"So, are you president of this then?" Raphael asked.

"Vice president, President, is Layona Satterfield, her story isn't in the binder, but here are some news articles, she handed over to Raphael, and I'll send you a link to a couple of Youtube videos," Lesslie explained.

Raphael nodded his head.

"I need to talk to the head of the department just to make sure I can do this, and I need to know what kind of time commitment this is," Raphael stated.

"The school tiers student programs and they all start at tier 3. We would only be able to have monthly meetings to start out with that were "sanctioned" by the school. If there is enough involvement, it will move up to tier II the next semester 2 times a month. Then tier I would be weekly, which of course, is the goal. You wouldn't be required to attend every meeting." Lesslie stated.

"I will think about and I will let you know before finals. I want to help, let me go over everything, and even if I say no now, I want you to know I am on your side." Raphael claimed.

"Thank you so much, Professor Barba. I appreciate your time." Lesslie stated.

Raphael smiled at her. She left the notebook and binder and a few pamphlets of resources currently available on campus.

He looked over at the clock and had 35 minutes before the next student came in. He would look over Lesslie's things when he was in a better frame of mind and went back to the quizzes finding them more comfortable to grade.

He finished the quizzes and moved on to short essays he had his Trial advocacy class write he set a 1-page minimum and a 2-page, maximum and he was in no mood to read anymore or any less. He sorted out the pages that were too long and too short and set them to be graded last, already docking them down to a C for not following directions. He picked up the first essay that was about 1 ¼ page and began to read. The student made a solid argument, and he gave them A. He continued to read through the essays and, for the most part, liked what he was seeing and continued to grade until there was another knock on the door.

This time it was a student from his intro to law class a young undergraduate Timothy Simmons. He looked hesitant to talk to the man.

"What can I help you with today?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know if you can," Timothy claimed.

"Well, I can't start to help if you don't tell me what's going on," Raphael explained.

"Are you gay?" Timothy asked.

"Excuse me I don't understand how this has anything to do with this," Raphael stated.

"It's just that I'm gay, and I don't know if I can explain everything if you don't understand," Timothy stated.

Raphael sighed.

"Listen, I worked in SVU for many years, if it helps you to know I am bi-sexual. I am sure I can figure out the context." Raphael stated.

Timothy blushed. "Sorry, I'm just nervous," Timothy stated.

"You don't need to be," Raphael stated.

"Okay, So my roommate caught my boyfriend and me in bed, and I was on bottom," Timothy stated.

"Okay," Raphael stated.

"Ever since then, my roommate has been pinning me to the wall asking if I like it. He has been calling me names, the usual queer, fag, you know the drill." Timothy stated.

"I broke up with my boyfriend, and I guess he figured it out, he put this dildo in my bed with a note it said, "now you're just fucking yourself."

"That's harassment and easily assault, have you went to campus police," Raphael asked.

"I talked to the residence hall coordinator. They said that they have nowhere to place me and they are overcrowded have people living in whats supposed to be lounges. I have to agree to get someone to trade with me, and I don't want to subject anyone to that. I talked to campus PD without filing a report, they told me that if no one saw it, and I didn't have proof it was him or any injuries, there wasn't anything they can do. Even if they do arrest him, he'd just come back." Timothy stated.

"I don't know how campus living works, but let me see what I can figure out for you, okay?"

"Can you stay with a friend in the meantime?" Raphael asked.

"I was staying with my boyfriend, he lives in another campus apartment, but now that's over," Timothy explained.

"Okay, is there anyone else who let you stay?"

"Let's face it, when your gay, you're straight friends get a little weirded out sharing a room with you," Timothy explained.

"Not good friends. Ask around you'll be surprised, tell them the truth, that your roommate is homophobic, and you're afraid of him. If you can't figure something out, give me a call."Raphael wrote down his phone number and handed it to him.

"Thank you," Timothy stated.

"If you can't find anywhere before 10pm call me," Raphael stated.

Raphael began frantically searching for LGBT resources shelters near NYU for a less than ideal back up plan.

Raphael got hist Trial Advocacy papers graded 6 Fs the most he had ever given, but it was the end of the year, and all 6 were either too long or too short, and he felt if they didn't listen now, then when would they and listening was the most significant part of the job. He only had one more person to talk to, and all thought Timothy's story deeply upset him. It was mild compared to the thoughts running through his head of what he could have heard today.

At 12, exactly, he gets a knock on his open door. Lyla Fraylin, he just graded her paper. She has obtained an A-.

"Hi, Thanks for talking to me," Lyla stated.

"Of course, what can I do to help you?" Raphael stated.

"This is kind of multi-faceted."" Lyla stated.

"Okay, different issues or one major issue?" Raphael stated.

"One very major issue," Lyla claimed.

"Okay," Raphael stated.

"Okay as you know this is my 2nd year in law school I pushed through my undergraduate degree in 3 years, I just turned 22, I was 17 when I came to NYU," Lyla explained.

"I'm on scholarship, you see my mom well she's not so great, a prostitute actually," Lyla started.

Raphael wasn't sure where Lyla was going with this, but she was very matter of fact.

"I was taken from her a few times, but she cleaned up her act just long enough to get me back," Lyla stated.

"I was 15 the last time I was taken from her, her pimp attempted to rape me, tried to get me to join her. I went to the police and reported him, he got off, of course." Lyla explained.

"My mom had me when she was 16, lived in Idaho with my grandparents moved here with me when was 2 and she was 18, thought she could be a star, she did get a few gigs waitressed, she was doing good until I was about 9 years old, I guess she was fed up, and she started using, then prostituting for drug money. I got into NYU, and she was proud of me, I thought the day I left was the last time I'd see her. I was so done with her and that life. I've been working full time and going to school full time. She calls me out of the blue, and she's my mom, you know." Lyla claimed.

"She told me she was pregnant, she's due soon, and I don't want this baby to go through that."

"She still using?" Raphael asked.

"Most likely, apparently pregnant prostitutes an in-demand thing," Lyla stated.

Raphael did not need to hear that detail.

"I'm sorry I understand this is a problem, but I am not sure how I can help," Raphael stated.

"I want to adopt the baby," Lyla stated.

"Is that something your mom wants," Raphael asked.

"We've talked about it, she thinks it's too much to put on me, but I can't let that baby stay with her for one day, I won't," Lyla stated a little loudly,

"I understand, but have you contacted ACS, have you thought about other families.

"There is no other family mom's an only child grandparents are dead grandpa and grandma were both the youngest they had my mom later in life," Lyla explained.

"Does your mom live in Manhattan?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Lyla replied.

"You live in university housing?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, but the graduate housing I live in would allow me to have a spouse and/or child," Lyla stated.

"Okay, and plans on paying for the baby?" Raphael asked.

"Campus daycare is cheap compared to anywhere else, and with having the baby, I would qualify for WIC and SNAP. If I can get mom to give her up, I can get money from the state." Lyla explained.

"How long have you been working on this?" Raphael asked.

"Since September 23rd the day she told me," Lyla explained

"Okay, let me talk to a few people who know better than I do, and see what we can figure out," Raphael stated.

"Do whatever you have too, I don't care if mom's in jail," Lyla stated.

"Do you know where police can find her?" Raphael asked.

Lyla told him all her usual hooking spots and wasn't sure if she'd talk. Raphael shook his head.

"I'll see what I can figure out."

Lyla left, he closed his door, and he sat back down in his office chair

Raphael closed his eyes. He couldn't imagine a baby at 22. He loves Noah but knows there was no way he could be ready for him, and although he knew baby Noah well, he never had to care for him. Olivia missed out on the first few months of his life. He sighed. A baby of his own would have been nice in a different timeline, but he was content with Noah and more than happy to be his dad and his dad only.

Raphael texted Olivia

-Hey it's not an emergency I just had my last student in, and I might need your help along with Trevor's

-Everything okay? Olivia responded.

\- Yeah, I just got to talk to you about a few things. Raphael claimed.

\- Alright, I'll see you tonight.

Raphael looked through Leslie's binder. He went over Friday's lectures. He had 2 other students come through asking questions about work. He was happy as he got home with Noah. Timothy messaged him, stating a friend was letting him stay. He was waiting for Liv to go over the co-chair position and what she thought. He got the go-ahead by the law school if he wanted to do it. He knew Leslie's story would be complicated, but he was happy he could help.


	27. Sadness

.A/N: I have been really struggling with this part of the story I have wanted to put it in for some time and to be honest, I was wondering how people would feel about if you don't like this chapter I apologize. Still, it's a very early on idea, and I am finally brave enough to write it in.

Raphael was sitting in his office it had been a week since he had meetings with 3 of his students, Trevor agreed to help Layla. Raphael talked to housing and mentioned that a lawsuit could easily come to the school if they knew the roommate was acting out, and they did nothing about it. Timothy was placed in new residential housing immediately. Somehow they had an opening despite kids living in lounges. Olivia had gone over the binder and pamphlets and everything else. Olivia had made some minor tweaks in the process and ideas if Raphael went forward, he still had a few weeks to decide. He was pretty sure he wanted to do this but was fearful something the law school would want him to do could impede him with other things. Raphael was trying to get his finals finalized. He had gone over the needed curriculum with all his classes, and he has heard overall good things from his colleagues about what students are saying about his classes. He was glad that he was forging on with this. Happy that he has helped a few people along the way, and he was really excited to see all kinds of viewpoints. It made him a better person. He thought long and hard about going back into the courtroom, he knew he wasn't there yet, but being a professor just this one semester taught him more than all his time in the courtroom combined.

Raphael was reading an email when he got a call from Olivia's home phone. He knew it wasn't Olivia. She was at work, he looked at the time it could be Noah he hardly ever calls him, but he picks it up.

"Hello," Raphael said into his phone.

"Daddy, Lucy is in the bathroom, and she won't come out. I tried calling mommy, but she didn't answer. Every time I knock on, Lucy says, "just a minute, but it's been a lot of minutes." Noah explained

Raphael's heart dropped, and his mouth went dry.

"Are you okay, Noah?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, daddy, I'm just afraid for Lucy," Noah stated.

"Okay, Mijo, do you know is he hurt?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know I don't think so," Noah stated.

"What was happening before she ran into the bathroom, Noah?" Raphael asked.

"She was just sitting on the couch with me. We just got back from school, and she said I could watch 1 tv show before we started on homework," Noah stated.

"Okay, let me try your mom again okay, me and your mom are on our way," Raphael explained.

Raphael tried her cell phone, and her office phone and then tried her work cell when none of those worked he called Fin.

Fin answered on the first ring.

"Barba, man, what's up?" Fin asked.

"Is Liv with you?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, did you just call her?" Fin asked.

"Figured, we were chasing down a perp earlier, and she pinned him down into a mud hole she went to change." Fin explained.

"Let her know she needs to make her way home. I don't think it's an emergency, but I know she can make it home before me." Raphael explained.

"Is everything okay?" Fin asked.

"I don't know Noah is fine. Its Lucy, something is wrong," Raphael stated.

Fin knocked on the cribs. He wasn't sure how undressed Olivia was but closed his eyes and opened the door.

"Liv, you need to get home, Barba says it's not an emergency, but something's up with Lucy." Fin stated with his eyes still closed.

Olivia dropped whatever was in her hand.

"Fin opened his eyes at the noise, Olivia was fully dressed. She had dropped brush out of her hair.

"Thanks, Fin," Olivia stated throwing the brush back in the locker and grabbing her phones and purse from her office

"Let me know whats going on." Fin stated.

"Yeah, of course," Olivia claimed.

"If you need anything," Fin stated.

"I know Fin, I am sure it's okay." Olivia managed as she rushed to the steps to get out of the building.

She should have known better than to drive walking could have probably been quicker traffic was backed up and by the time she found a space, she saw Raphael enter her building she ran to catch up with him.

Raphael opens the door and hears Lucy say.

"Noah. In a minute."

Raphael frowned, and Olivia looked at him.

Noah came running to Olivia and Raphael, hugging them both, not saying a word.

Olivia knocked on the door.

"Lucy, it's me is everything okay," Olivia asked.

"Yes, I… I…." Lucy started.

"Lucy, can I come in?" Olivia asked.

"Just a minute," Lucy stated.

Raphael had been looking at Olivia the whole time but saying words of encouragement to Noah telling him he did the right thing, and it's okay to be scared.

Lucy unlocked the bathroom door and let Olivia enter. Her face was blood red, her eyes were bloodshot even though her cheeks were red the rest of her was pale.

"Lucy, are you sick?" Olivia asked.

"No, I'm having a miscarriage." Lucy blurted out, letting the tears fall again.

"We need to get you to the hospital," Olivia stated.

"No. No, I already they know. I just need to let it pass." Lucy stated.

"Why didn't you say something we could have figured something else out," Olivia claimed.

"Does James know?" Olivia asked.

"No, I haven't told him he doesn't even know I am, I was pregnant," Lucy stated as she started crying again. Letting the wails come out a little louder, knowing Olivia was there.

Raphael heard the cries and quickly knocked

"Is everything okay?" Raphael stated through the door.

"It will be," Olivia stated.

Olivia looked Lucy over, noticing there was blood on her pants.

"Why don't you take a shower. I will find something comfortable for you to wear. Do you want me to call James, to come to get you, or to talk?" Olivia asked.

"NO! I mean, I'll call him when I'm done." Lucy stated.

"I don't know why I was so upset just a few months ago I said I wanted to wait until I was out of grad school," Lucy stated.

"I know, it's confusing," Olivia claimed.

"Leave the door unlocked I'll make sure Noah or Raphael don't come in. I'll lay some clothes on the sink, Okay." Olivia stated.

"Yeah." Lucy agreed.

Olivia sighed. She allowed a few stray tears to fall.

"Hey guys, Lucy is in the shower, so wait to go in until she comes out," Olivia said sadly.

"Mommy, is Lucy, okay?" Noah asked.

"She is upset right now, but not at you, or anything you did. It's just that she is feeling sad right now," Olivia stated.

Noah just nodded.

Raphael was trying to get a read on the situation but couldn't, and before he knew it, Olivia was wandering back to the bedroom. She found Lucy a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of black sweat pants. She found a pair of underwear new with tags and searched her closet for an old pack of pads before piling the stuff in her arms and putting it on the sink for Lucy.

Noah was still a little upset with Lucy, but Raphael had him calmed down, playing a game with him on his tablet.

"Hey, why don't you guys go play in your room Noah, with the door closed," Olivia stated.

Raphael grabbed Noah's and walked towards the bedroom.

Lucy took a long time in the shower, but Olivia made no comments. She came out of the bathroom, her hair dry, She was wearing slouchy clothes she looked sick. Lucy just looked at Olivia, lost at what she should do next.

"Why don't you call James," Olivia stated once again.

"Can I talk to you first?" Lucy asked.

"Of course," Olivia stated.

"I found out a few days before Halloween I was pregnant. I honestly didn't want to believe it. I just wanted to go to class to finish up. I thought about how I was lucky I would be due around April, and I would have start Grad school until September. Then I thought about it more, and I know I would be hard, but James and I could have made it work. I wanted to wait to tell him, though, until I was done with school. I thought maybe that way, I would be starting a new chapter and not running them all together." Lucy stated.

"That is understandable," Olivia stated.

"Also, in the back of my mind, I was worried this would happen. I was 17, a senior in High School. I never told anyone, but I was almost 3 months pregnant and had a miscarriage. My mom was so upset with me. I never told anyone, but I was so grateful. I know that sounds bad, but I just had my college planned out, and I knew what my next steps where. This was a little different. I was just starting to get used to the idea." Lucy said as she started to cry again.

"That's human, Lucy, the first time you were so young, and this time you have plans. I have no doubt you can and will be a wonderful mother, and when it's your time, you will be amazing." Olivia stated.

Even though Noah's door was closed, Olivia could hear Noah complaining loudly to Raphael that he was hungry, and it was dinner time. Olivia looked at the clock; it was 30 minutes past regular dinner, and she sighed. Noah's outburst made Lucy laugh.

"Call James, I'll take Raphael and Noah out we'll have dinner. We'll bring you, James, back something okay." Olivia stated.

"I really appreciate that," Lucy stated.

"They're worried about you," Olivia mentioned.

I know I just Noah's too young to understand. Maybe I will tell Raphael when he gets back if I don't, you can tell him. I just don't know how much more I can think about it." Lucy claimed.

Olivia hugged Lucy for longer than usual until the girl dropped her arms. Olivia lightly knocked on Noah's door.

"Hey, guys, let's go eat," Olivia stated.

The three of them got their shoes on as Lucy was talking to James, asking him to come over. Raphael was still confused but said nothing as they lefty Lucy's and walked 3 blocks to Roschell's a dinner they went to on occasion. The food came out quickly. Raphael asked if Lucy was okay. She assured him she was, and either Lucy or herself would explain the incident later, indicating it was something Noah didn't need to hear.

They finished their meals quickly and took to mac and cheese dinners back for Lucy and James. She thought that it could be good comfort food for the two of them. Olivia decided that she would have Raphael drop of the meals giving Lucy the time to tell him herself if she chose to and give James and Lucy all the time they needed.

Raphael knocked on the door twice to let the couple know he was coming in. He opened the door and found James with fresh tear tracks down his face, Lucy asleep in his arms. He set the food on the table.

"Hey, I don't know what's going on, but Liv asked me to drop these off to you we're staying at my place tonight. Take as long as you need it. If either of you needs anything, call." Raphael stated.

"Thanks, I think we'll be okay," James stated.

Raphael walked back out of the apartment and back to Olivia and Noah taking the subway back to his place. Raphael was sad. Obviously, something terrible had happened to Lucy and James, and without knowing what it was, several scenarios popped in his head. Noah seemed to feeding of both adult's energies because he seemed cranky. Olivia instantly went to the window to look out, Noah and Raphael too just people watching. It was already dark, so it was hard to make out what the figures were doing, but the barges and the boats passing by seemed to make them all at ease. Raphael wasn't sure when they got home, but it was nearing Noah's bedtime, and Olivia wasn't even in the mood to bathe him, so she took him to his bedroom and ready him a story, and then another. When he asked for a 3rd, Olivia would usually deny the boy, but this time, she didn't even argue and happily indulged the 3rd story. Raphael smiled a sad smile at her at the door as Noah had closed his eyes for bed.

Olivia closed the door. She couldn't imagine the way Lucy was feeling tonight. She had been upset when she found her baby hadn't existed, but at one point, Lucy's had but not anymore. Olivia allowed a few tears to fall for the young woman she now considered a close friend. She held on to Raphael tightly before replaying what the young woman had told her today.

Raphael was upset himself. Knowing that it wasn't planned, but Lucy had planned out a future with a baby in tow. At least, for now, she wasn't going to get that chance. He knew that she and James were both young, though, and had time if they wanted to try again. Raphael and Olivia went back to the window.

"You know it's funny, but this few grounds me," Raphael stated.

"It calms me the water, the motion of the boats," Olivia stated.

"I lookout and I see the boat and barges go by. I see the people playing in the park. I've seen so many things from this window, and it reminds me how insignificant so many things are, but at the same time how important they are as well." Raphael explained.

"I just want to go to bed," Olivia stated.

Raphael held her kissed her lips, a reassuring kiss that everything would be okay.

Olivia held Raphael tightly that night. She would usually turn away stretch out and fall asleep, but tonight she just couldn't find it in herself to do that, so she put her arm around his chest and stayed that way all night.

Olivia woke up the next morning. Discovering a text from Lucy

-I need a few days, promise I will be back Monday. I'm sorry. Lucy sent

\- It's okay. I understand to take your time. Olivia replied.

She knew Raphael couldn't cancel the class, and she needed to meet with Stone in the afternoon. She thought about it for a moment. Raphael was still asleep; it was early 6 am, but this was usually about the time she would wake up if she wanted anytime to herself before Noah woke up at 7. She gently woke the man, she found it amusing when she did. Raphael was a deep sleeper, and she has learned there is no need to try to be quiet because if he does wake up, he falls back asleep instantly sometimes to Olivia's annoyance. She was quite envious that he could sleep so comfortably though Noah's tantrum, from her keeping the light off and the bathroom and knocking over his heavy glass soap dispenser. One time someone was pounding on his door, and it took her over 10 minutes to wake him. The person had the wrong apartment number. So she rubbed his arm and called his names several times and asked him multiple times if he was awake before trying to talk to him about the day's plan.

Raphael had thought about it for a moment and decided that Noah could help him with his Trail Advocacy class, going back to basics had been the plan. Noah was always asking questions after his stories, so Raphael thought this would be perfect.

"Okay, if you can get him from school, then I can have him Trial Advocacy class. I have an idea." Rafael stated.

Olivia looked at him and agreed, not sure what her child would endure, but that was the best they could do at the moment. So she got up and ready for the day.

Of course, things never went right when it came to time management, and here she was with a perp at 2:00 pm. She felt like she was close. She knew Sonny had come in early, so she made an excuse to step out. She looked at the man at his desk, typing away.

"Carasi, you've been here since what 6-7? Olivia asked.

"Something like that," Sonny confirmed.

"You can go home, but I need a favor," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, what is it?" He asked.

"Pick up Noah from school, I'll call let them know, then, drop him off with Raphael, he's' in room 205 in the law school. You walk in the front doors, take the steps in front of you, turn left, and its the first door on the right." Olivia explained.

"Yeah okay." Sonny agreed.

Sonny was there. He felt uncomfortable. All the other parents didn't recognize him, and he knew they were a little nervous. He hadn't made it home to put his gun away. It was still on his hip badge on his belt, not that people seemed to notice he kept an eye out for Noah, hoping his teacher told him to be on the lookout for him.

"Uncle Sonny!" Noah stated.

"Hey their kiddo, how was school today?" Sonny asked.

"It was okay, I didn't do so well on my spelling test," Noah admitted.

"that happens sometimes," Sonny claimed.

"Will mommy and daddy be mad?" Noah asked.

"I don't think so, as long as you tried."

Sonny assumed it was the teacher who came up behind Noah, and she greeted him.

"I take it this is uncle Sonny." The teacher stated.

"Yeah, he works with my mom to catch the bad guys," Noah explained.

The teacher smiled.

"I put a note on his spelling words, I explained this to Noah, already but he seems a bit upset. The spelling test this time was much harder, he actually did quite well, it was to see if he was above grade level, not an actual grade, I tried to explain this to him, but he was still quite upset." She explained.

Sonny had to laugh. He truly was Olivia's kid, disappointed that he didn't test well above his grade level.

"I'll make sure Liv, and Bar, Rafael, know," Sonny stated.

He took Noah by the hand and lead him to the car.

"You ready to go to school with your dad?" Sonny asked.

"I just got done with school." Noah wined.

"I'm sorry, kiddo, mommy and daddy both are trying to their best," Sonny explained.

"I know I just wish they could be home all the time," Noah stated.

"I'm sure they feel the same way. Here in a few years, though, you'll want them out of your hair." Sonny explained.

"Mommy and Daddy aren't in my hair," Noah put his hand in his curls.

Sonny laughed, "It's an expression, it just means that when you get a little bit older, you will find you don't want them around as much, I know you don't think that's true now, but one day it will be." sonny explained.

Noah didn't say too much else about his day.

Sonny found a spot to park, hoping he wouldn't get towed.

He walked Noah in it was 3:15, he wasn't sure when class started but had peered in, seeing that Raphael was using the whole area as his stage, and stood there for a minute taking in the same presence he had in the courtroom before Raphael noticed him, Raphael's immediately stopped, shocked to find Sonny there instead.

He ran to the door.

"Is everything okay," Rafael asked quickly.

"Yeah, Liv, didn't tell you, she's in with perp and was really close it was getting close to picking him up, and she asked me to do it gave me the rest of the day off," Carasi explained.

"That's okay, alright, you're welcome to join my class. I can teach you a thing or two," Rafael stated.

"I don't know already went through law school once, I'm not sure I could even sit in one more class." Sonny laughed.

"I don't know this class may be more of comedic relief," Raphael stated.

"K, let me text Manda, and I'm all yours," Sonny stated.

Raphael stood Noah on the stool, holding him steady.

"This is what I meant by back to basics, I want you to get out your workbook, and if you didn't happen to bring it, share," Raphael stated. He waited a few moments for the students to get prepared. I am giving you 30 minutes to read over it, discuss it with others. The next step requires a pen."

Sonny looked at the man quizzically, and Raphael handed him the book.

"Jesus, I hated this," Sonny stated.

"What afraid of a case," Rafael asked.

"No, there is just no right answers. Just like in real life." Sonny stated.

Raphael explained the story to Noah, and told him that he could ask questions in a little bit, but read the case to him.

_John Jones 32 white male height 5' 9" was seen outside Rick's grill on Monday, October 13th. Police had been called out because John got into a fight with a George Smith 35 white male height 5' 10" coming from Rick's Grill. Rick has a black eye and a cut along his jaw. John's fist has bruises and has 2 bloody knuckles. He also has a bruise forming on his jawline and hand red handprint across his arm as though someone slapped his hand away. When John is asked why he got into a physical altercation with George, John claims that George had asked John to stage the fight, and act like someone was after him, so George could break up with his girlfriend Sara and play it out that she was in danger if she stayed with him. George admits to police he had asked John to beat him up but didn't think John would hurt him this bad. He admitted to slapping John away before punching him in the face when he refused to stop. Both men require medical treatment due to head injuries. Both John and George talk in the hospital and apologize, but George insists on pressing charges. When John hears George is pressing charges, he also presses charges. Both men are arrested for aggravated assault and conspiracy_

Raphael and Sonny both explain the story in childlike terms to Noah. Explaining assault and conspiracy was the most difficult because Noah was asking all kinds of questions about the two topics taking up 30 minutes quickly.

"Okay, everyone back to their desks get out a pen and a sheet of paper. This is on your own, this must be in pen, no pencil. DO NOT cross out any mistakes. Now think of all the questions you need to ask law enforcement on this case. Be able to justify why you are asking the question if need be. You have 10 minutes get writing." Raphael stated. The class hurried out half-thoughts on their paper rushing to get all their thoughts out in a 10 minutes period. Sonny looked around and laughed.

"You are going to be a great help Carasi, just wait," Raphael stated.

"You're scaring me a little," Carasi stated.

"Yeah well, don't worry, I can't make them revoke your Bar" Raphael stated.

The 10 minutes were up.

"Okay pens down," Raphael stated.

"Raise your hand if you need a highlighter."

About 6 people in the class raised their hands. He handed them out.

"Okay Noah, I am going to reread the story, and you ask me all the questions you want at the end, other than what we already explained okay," Raphael stated.

Noah shook his head and Raphael began to read.

Noah asked question after question after question.

"So if you have asked any of the same questions Noah has here, or anything pertaining to the line of questioning highlight it."

The students began highlighting some more than others which Raphael took as a good sign. Some students groaned as the 7-year-old thought of a very good question they didn't think of, and some giggled at some the one that got the most laughs was "Why didn't John just ask George to be Sara's boyfriend instead."

The questions went on for about 15 minutes until Noah got a little too personal asking

"Have you ever got into a fight over a girl daddy?"

The class was curious about the answer but when Raphael refused to disclose the information the class sighed.

"Okay, now my friend detective Carasi here, excluding what Noah asked, what additional questions would you ask."

Carasi looked at him like he had 3 heads, but went on with some additional questions that went on for about 10 minutes.

The students once again asked to highlight any similar questions.

"Okay, now anybody feels there are obvious questions that haven't been asked yet?" Raphael asked.

Few students raised their hands, and everyone had valid questions that should be asked.

"All right then, so now you are seeing the basics. I will answer any of the questions, and then for homework, I want you to write out what you would feel is a compromising plea deal based on the answers to the questions just asked."

Raphael begins answering the questions, Sonny keeps Noah entertained in the hallway until the class is over.

The students come flooding out, and Sonny takes Noah back in.

"Got to hand it to you, that was engaging," Sonny admitted.

"It's not always this good," Raphael stated.

" Well, it looks like it's working."

"I hope so," Raphael admitted.

"You're doing fine," Sonny confirmed.

"Well, I am headed out, it's my turn to make dinner," Sonny stated.

"I know the feeling," Raphael stated.

He went back to his apartment with Noah in tow. He was surprised to see Olivia standing over a pot in the kitchen; it smelled like chili.

"That smells good," Raphael stated.

Olivia slapped Raphael's hand away from the spoon.

"Mommy, you can't do that, that's assault!" Noah stated.

Olivia's eyebrows rose up.

"So, what are you teaching him in these classes of yours?" Olivia asked.

" To ask a lot of questions," Raphael stated.

"May come and back and bite you in the ass," Olivia stated.

Raphael laughed and shook his head.

"I have a feeling that our kids are going to be outspoken now matter what." Raphael pointed out.

"Yeah, it's bound to happen," Olivia stated.

The two of them ate, Noah forgot all about the bad grade in spelling until his mom grabbed the folder and he was fearful he would get in trouble. Olivia read over the note. She smiled at him.

"You did good, Noah," Olivia claimed.

"Nuh-uh look at all the red marks," Noah stated.

"Well, that's because some of these are huge words you've never seen before, and you tried that's important. You did excellent Noah, I'm proud of you." Olivia claimed.

"Noah hugged Olivia, and the three of them cuddled on the couch, watching cartoons until Noah fell asleep.


	28. Thanksgiving

Before anyone knew it, it was the week of Thanksgiving. Raphael and Olivia had agreed to go to his mother's house, who hosted the whole family. Olivia had met some of his family here and there, but she was nervous. She asked Lucia what she needed to bring, but the lady insisted she does nothing but makes sure that Raphael and Noah were seated at the table when it was time for the feast. Olivia felt bad, not cooking anything. Usually, Olivia would invite some co-workers over, or she would be invited to someone else's house, but Thanksgiving was never a big deal. Olivia found out that Thanksgiving was a huge deal in the Barba house, and Lucia was running Raphael all over New York for precise ingredients the days before.

Olivia laughed when she received a text

-You'll beat me home tonight. I have to go to Al's Deli to pick up smoked bacon. It's in Jersey City!

Olivia looked down at her paperwork, not knowing if she would beat him home or not. Olivia had so much paperwork. There was leave for Thanksgiving. There was rotation for Thanksgiving. There was paperwork for staff working the parade. She hated it. The floats were pretty, and the ballons were massive, but all those people packing around tightly, New Year's Eve was even worse. Rookies usually were required to go to all of these things, but there were volunteer forms as well, with generous overtime pay involved. She sighed as everyone had declined the offer. She may be forced to send someone if asked, but she was hoping enough other units chipped in.

Olivia heard an argument and looked out, it was Carasi and Rollins, as per usual, but it seemed to be personal more than professional. Olivia wasn't sure if she even wanted to deal with it, but when it only seemed to get worse, she finally intervened.

"You guys good?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, are we?" Amanda asked.

"So it's on me now to say if things are okay, it's never been that way before!" Carasi stated.

Olivia looked at the two of them, but it was as though she wasn't even there.

"Maybe that's the issue, Carasi. It's always up to me!" Amanda stated.

Amanda looked over at Olivia.

"I'm sorry, Liv, I got go cool off," Amanda said, and with that, she turned down the hall.

"Carasi, a word a please!" Olivia stated.

He sighed and scrubbed his face.

"Yeah, I know I screwed up, it won't happen again." Sonny states sounding defeated.

"It will. It will happen again. Partners get into fights. I can't have your personal affairs get mixed up in all of this, next time you and Rollins, get into a personal issue at work it better change into a work-related issue real fast, because I can't have everyone around watching it," Olivia claimed

"I'm sorry," Sonny stated.

Olivia smiled, "Now, as a friend is everything okay with you two?" Olivia asked.

Sonny smiled.

"Yeah, we'll be okay," Sonny stated.

"Okay," Olivia stated.

Amanda comes in about 10 minutes later she is still high strung, but she isn't screaming, and she apologizes to Sonny as soon as she walks through the door.

Olivia gave her a minute but told Amanda to come into the office as well.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Olivia asked.

Amanda looked back over, staring at Sonny for just a minute.

"Yeah, I've just been stressed out, I'll be okay. He's not the easiest man to live with it." Amanda stated.

"So, you're living together?" Olivia asked.

Amanda looked at her.

"No, not quite we've been talking a little bit, I just, you know there is so much he doesn't know about me." Amanda started.

"You'll get there, but I can't have you in the office fighting with each other, or I'm going to have to separate you," Olivia stated.

"It won't happen again," Amanda responded.

Olivia laughed, "That's what your partner said, don't make promises you can't keep just try to keep it down." Olivia stated.

"Will do," Amanda stated.

Olivia finished her paperwork occasionally, looking out at the two detectives. She saw so much of her and Elliot in them. Of course, it was a bit different, Amanda had pushed Carasi away for so long, and all he had been doing was trying to be her friend. If Olivia had to admit it, she loved Elliot, she was friends with him, but Amanda and Sonny were on a different level. Of course, Olivia had a lot of "what if" thoughts about her and Elliot. At one time, she had imagined them being together, but now she knew they wouldn't have worked out. They were too challenging for each other. Everything was a competition. It would never be an equal partnership. Not like her and Raphael. She sighed as she looked at the stack of forms in front of her and the afternoon ticking down to yet another meeting, she wasn't even sure what it was for or why she had to attend. It was in the next hour, and she was going to be late if she didn't finish up with everything.

Olivia arrived home exhausted. She met Raphael at the door. He hadn't yet got his keys out.

"Hey, you!" Raphael stated.

"Hey, you think your mom has everything she needs now? Olivia asked.

"I hope so. She can ask Leanna if not I'm done," Rapahel admitted.

Olivia laughed, knowing right this second if his mother called, he would go to California if she asked.

She grabbed the lapels of his Jacket pulled him close to her.

Their lips touched, and quickly they were making out in the hallway of his apartment with Lucy and Noah just on the other side of the door.

Olivia sighed and leaned on Raphael, he leaned against the door frame, and he held for just a moment before she straightened herself out, and they opened the door.

The two made their way into the room, and Rafael grabbed the mail sitting on the table in the kitchen. Lucy got it for him on the way up when they were there. He was sorting through it. One was from the owners of the building. He knew what it meant a new lease agreement. Although this was hardly the time to bring it up, he remembered Lucy saying something about Olivia making the place her own. This would allow him to put her name on the lease, list tenants as himself, Olivia and Noah.

He looked at the letter for a long time, and Olivia looked at him.

"Is everything okay," Olivia asked

"Yeah, it's my lease," Raphael mentioned.

Lucy looked at him, smiling, and Olivia didn't seem to notice as her heart pounded out of her chest. Of course, they could have moved in at any time, but with a lease in hand, it was a conscious decision if he signs it if he adds her to the agreement. It meant a vital discussion right before the holidays. She knew it was needed more than anything. If Olivia closed her eyes and thought about when she pictured home, she pictured Raphael and Noah and general, and that's all that mattered.

Olivia's ears were swooshing, and she didn't hear Noah call out to her, to show the project they made in class. It wasn't until he flung the book up in her face that she realized he was trying to show her something.

It was a story of family and how everyone was different. Noah had filled in the blanks and drew pictures.

"This is wonderful, Noah!" Olivia professed.

She had tears streaming down her face, and Raphael looked at her for a second, before he looked a the project himself, it talked about mommy and daddy and all his uncles and aunts. It talked about his grandma Lucia and Grandpa Don. Raphael had his tears threatening to fall.

"This very good mijo," Raphael stated.

The three had a group hug.

Lucy took this as her sign to leave, telling them Happy Thanksgiving. They would see her again Monday morning.

Olivia and Raphael talked to Noah about the rest of his school day and his excitement for the very long weekend. Dinner came, and Raphael sat down to his email.

"FUCK!" he said out loud

Olivia and Noah both whip their head around so fast.

"Daddy said a really bad word, mommy," Noah stated.

"He did, sweet boy," Olivia claimed.

"Liv, I need to talk to you later tonight," Raphael stated.

She seemed upset by not knowing.

"It's not that important," Raphael said quickly.

"Well, with that kind of reaction, that's kinda hard to believe," Olivia claimed.

"No, it's just something I forgot about," Raphael said quickly.

Olivia shook her head. The 3 of them played connect four swapping out playing the winner. Olivia made sure Noah took a bath and brushed his teeth. Raphael read him to sleep.

Raphael pulled out a bottle of scotch and poured himself a drink. He hadn't done so in quite a while Olivia excepted a glass as well.

"So, what did you forget about?" Olivia asked.

"How would you feel about taking time off for a Christmas vacation?" Raphael asked.

"Rafa?" Olivia asked.

"I guess I should have told you sooner, but I and some college friends own a house."

"I'm sorry you own a house where?" Olivia asked

"It's a beach house," Raphael stated.

"Rafa, what are you not telling me?" Olivia asked.

"look along time ago at our ten year Harvard Law reunion we all got together, and you know how it goes we were glad to see each other we got drunk, had a hair-brained idea and 12 of us bought a Malibu beach house."

"I'm sorry, did you say you own a Malibu beach house?" Olivia asked.

"Well, 1/12th of it. We paid it off a few years ago. It's sort of like a timeshare we each get a month every year, we have yearly meetings, and I chose two weeks in May, and no one else wanted Christmas, so I took it." Raphael explained.

"And you were going to tell me when?" Olivia asked.

"I usually don't go and give my weeks to colleges, friends, When I do go, it's usually to get away from this place, and it slipped my mind," Raphael stated.

"We don't have to go, I can just not show up," Raphael explained.

"Rafa, the flights out to the west coast near Christmas will cost a fortune," Olivia stated.

"I have the points, Liv, if you want to go, we can go. I know it's going to be hard to get that much time approved, though." Raphael sighed.

"No, the time off isn't the issue having a 7-year-old is the issue, I don't know, Rafa. Does it even feel like Christmas when it's 70, and the sun is beating in your face, and you're on the beach?" Olivia asked.

"I've only been there on Christmas one other time I took my mom with me, and it was wonderful to give her that experience." Raphael beamed.

"Well, if you want, you can take her again, we'd miss you," Olivia stated.

"No way she would never agree if you weren't going. Maybe in the summer. We have a meeting every January, and I'm second in line to pick my four weeks there. We all break it up into 2- 2-week trips.

"So who takes care of the place pays the bills?" Olivia asked.

"Well, we constantly make sure someone is in it. There are house rules. We get a maid once every two weeks between stays. We all cover the utilities one month out of the year, so it works out." Raphael stated.

Olivia shook her head.

"So, what happens if one of you wants out?" Olivia asked.

"There are clauses. It was 12 lawyers. Liv, we knew what we were doing, and like I said, its paid off, so if someone wants out the agreement is they have to sell it back to us, we will pay for it evenly. Nobody has wanted out yet, but if you want me too, I can bring it up in January." Raphael asked.

"Why a Malibu beach house?" Olivia asked.

"Well I don't know we graduated from Harvard Law in 1994, we were sitting around close to graduation day, and all asked what the dream was, and someone said doing law in Malibu, take all the rich people's money and lay on their beach. We joked about how nice it would be. On our ten year reunion, in 2004 none of us made our Malibu beach house dream come true, we had way too much to drink and agreed together to buy the house, we found one online being all lawyers we negotiated a deal over the phone, and that's how I became 1/12th owner of the beach house." Raphael described.

"Why does that not surprise me?" Olivia asked.

"Would it surprise you if Rita Calhoun owned another 1/12th?" Raphael asked.

"No, it seems you followed her around a lot back then," Olivia mentioned.

"I did not follow her. If anything, she followed me." Raphael huffed.

"Oaky whatever you think, Rafa," Olivia stated.

"I saw the look on your face about the lease. Liv, it's whatever you want, you know my feelings, but I'm not going to push." Raphael stated.

"I know, and I've been thinking about it a lot. Noah loves it here, and I do too. It's not fair to be dragging him around. I would rather give up my apartment than yours. I think a new sofa may be in order though, and possibly a King size bed?" Olivia claimed.

"That I can arrange," Raphael stated.

"So is that a yes, are you moving in?" Raphael asked.

"My lease is up in the spring. I want to get Noah used to the idea. I think the only thing holding him back would be the fact he and Dalton won't be neighbors anymore." Olivia claimed.

"Well, we can still take him up the park, and we can invite Dalton over," Raphael stated.

"I know, and he'll still see him in school. It will be nice to have everything in one place again." Olivia mentioned.

"That it would," Raphael stated.

"So Malibu for Christmas and a change of address is in store for your New year," Raphael stated.

"Yeah, it seems like right now, the world is moving pretty fast," Olivia commented.

"Too fast?" Raphael asked.

"Sometimes, it makes me feel dizzy, but usually, if I'm with you, I still feel pretty grounded," Olivia stated.

"Glad to hear it," Raphael stated.

Olivia and Raphael discussed details of Christmas and Noah, and the New Year fast approaching. Olivia was excited about the change, and even though she had nervous butterflies, she didn't have a sense of dread about the pace that this was headed. It was a whirlwind for sure, but when wasn't her life all over the place, if anything, this was her usual, and it felt kind of nice if she had to admit that to herself.

Olivia and Raphael cuddled in the Queen size bed, Raphael wasn't sure why they needed a King, but if that's all it took to have Olivia in this room every night for the foreseeable future he wouldn't argue. He closed his eyes and thought about the last year and how much had changed for the better. He drifted off to sleep, knowing that the end of this year was shaping out to be the best days of his life.

The morning of Thanksgiving came, and Olivia was rushing around trying to get ready. Despite Lucia telling her not to bring anything, she and Noah baked cookies the night before, and she packed them to go. She was questioning what she should wear, not wanting to show off but also not wanting to under-dress. She wasn't sure what to wear. She finally found a Maroon sweater more formal than she would wear to work, but not overly flashy, and she wore a pair of black flats, she knew Raphael had an issue with her being taller than him, in heels.

Lucia smiled when the three of them arrived on the doorstep, some family already there and others coming a little later. Lucia informed them that the meal would be served at 1 pm and to get comfortable. Raphael showed Olivia and Noah off to all the unmet family. Many were surprised by the man's date as well as the little boy calling him daddy. His cousin, Nina, had pulled him to the side.

"Raphael, I've never seen you like this!" Nina claimed.

Raphael blushed.

"Do I hear wedding bells?" Nina asked.

"I don't know she's a very independent woman, It hasn't come up in discussion, but she is moving in with me," Raphael claimed.

"Good, you deserve it," Nina claimed and pushed him back into the crowd to mingle with the rest of the family.

Olivia held her own answering questions that they asked. Most of the family generally seemed interested in her life and how she and Raphael met. Through the years, she had seen close family just by being friends, and none seemed surprised by the fact she was there now in a relationship with him. Everyone huddled around the table. There were enough people it was tough not to rub elbows with the neighbor you were seated by. Multiple conversations were going on around the table. Noah wasn't used to all the noise but took in stride listening in on the discussions and butting in time to time, mainly reminding the adults there was a child in the midst.

Lucia and Noah were playing a game of Uno. When the last of the family left for the night, everyone sent home with heaps of food. Olivia and Raphael helped clean up, and Noah fell asleep in front of a football game on the couch.

"So you never told me, are you going to Malibu for Christmas now, that you have Olivia and Noah?" Lucia asked.

"Glad you remembered, I forgot until the reminder Email from Yvette," Raphael stated.

"So, do I expect you home or out in the sun?" Lucia asked.

"Olivia and I've discussed it, and she's interested in heading out," Raphael explained.

"You can come too. You don't have to stay the whole time." Raphael stated.

"Well, although I hate the fact you won't be home on Christmas, I think I want to stay here this year, it will be hard not seeing Noah on Christmas day, this is the first Christmas with him," Lucia explained.

"Then come out with us, or at least for a week," Raphael begged.

"I'll see, you know, the school staff goes back early for training," Lucia stated.

"Just tell me the dates, and I'll get you a ticket," Raphael stated.

"You talked me into it, as long as it's okay with Olivia," Lucia stated.

"As long as what's okay with me?" Olivia asked as she looked at the two of them.

"Well, she wants to be with Noah on our first Christmas together, so she'll be in Malibu with us," Raphael stated.

"Only for a few days," Lucia quickly stated.

"Well, of course, Noah will be very excited, we haven't told him yet," Olivia explained.

"Well, then he will have a very nice Christmas," Lucia stated.

"I know I've said this before, but I am so happy for both of you, and for Noah, I'm glad you two found each other," Lucia claimed.

"Thank you," Olivia stated and hugged her tight.

Olivia rounded up the food that Lucia insisted they take home, she wasn't sure if it would all fit in the fridge, but she excepted it, and the three of them when back to Raphael's apartment. Olivia had to work in the morning, and she was praying for a break in the action because she was also on-call for the weekend.

Noah woke up long enough for the ride home and the walk to the apartment but instantly walked in his room and fell asleep without a story.

"That was a lot of people for him, it wore him out," Olivia noted.

"It wore me out too," Raphael stated, he slumped over the island in the kitchen.

Olivia rubbed his back, and he leaned sideways into her. He stood up taller and captured her lips, she squealed when he roughly grabbed a nipple, and she pushed his hips against hers. Raphael quickly stopped and pulled away.

"Too tired for this?" Olivia asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Raphael stated.

Olivia frowned for a second but laughed and simply said "tease" before walking into the bedroom and getting pajamas on before bed. She rolled over and cuddled next to Raphael before falling asleep, thinking about the days ahead and what the holidays will bring.


	29. Finals, Graduation and Packing

December came quickly and with it a lot of choices about Christmas in Malibu. Olivia had gotten the time off approved quickly. They were staying the week before and the week of Christmas. Olivia talked to the school, making sure it was okay. She had to sign paperwork explaining how a trip to the ocean would be "Educational" during the three days of school he would be missing. She rolled her eyes, knowing they wouldn't even read it. They approved it immediately and excused Noah for the upcoming days.

Olivia and Raphael still hadn't told Noah what they were doing. She wasn't quite sure how to approach the subject; he had already been begging for the Christmas tree to go up. Olivia had a small fake tree that they had put up every year, but she didn't even want to mess with it if they would spend the holiday in the beach house.

Raphael had been making finals for his classes. His last day was the 12th, Lucy's graduation was the 14th, and they were leaving on the 16th. Lucia was going to meet them on 22nd and fly out on the 26th. Olivia Raphael and Noah would be staying until the 29th. Olivia then would start back to work on the 31st. She was glad she had a couple of buffer days in between to get her back in the right time zone. She had explained to her coworkers the plans but made mention he had yet to tell Noah. Olivia gave them the watered-down version of Raphael's story, and they laughed because it was indeed only something Barba and his lawyer friends would do. It felt like such a Harvard thing to do.

Olivia and Raphael finally broke down and told Noah on December 8th when he cried for Christmas tree. He was very excited but still wasn't sure why they couldn't put up a tree. So Olivia pulled the small tree out and let him hang ornaments on it, but explained multiple times all the gifts would be at the beach and not here. Noah was concerned that Santa wouldn't find him, but Raphael quickly explained that he could just write Santa and tell him. Noah immediately wrote a card to Santa asking Raphael to send it.

It was December 13th, Raphael had gone into the office to grade all the finals, for the most part, everyone had done well, no one failed in Trial Advocacy or Criminal Law but he had six low C's. His intro into Law School class had 9 Fs, six kids didn't show up for the final. 2 more were just a few points away from a D, and one kid had been one-off on his multiple choice. He had gone to the law chair to explain the situation and asked what to do. He still hadn't heard back yet. If he hadn't been one-off, he would have a B. Raphael felt terrible for failing the two so close to a D, but that was the easiest class he taught, and it was elective, if they weren't interested they should have dropped it.

Raphael Barba heard a knock on his door.

"Come in," Raphael stated.

John Edwards walked in a student in his Trial Advocacy class.

"What can I do for you, John?" Raphael asked.

John twisted his hands around. He was obviously nervous.

"I know I didn't do great in your class," John stated.

Raphael just looked at him, willing him to proceed.

"I mean, I know what's needed, and I understand clearly why this is an elective, and I really felt I needed it, but I just never grasped it," John stated.

Raphael didn't remember his grade off-hand and sorted through the final exam.

"You got a B on the Final," Raphael stated, he quickly went to the online grade book and entered it, with this grade you'll have an 81.5 in the class. You have a natural insight, not as good as some of the others, but it will take some time. I can't say you're going to nail it as soon as you walk in the courtroom, but you have some natural abilities. Join debate team, or philosophy classes, maybe even a journalism elective or theater. There are so many options to help you grow." Raphael explained.

"Can I add something like that for next semester, can I even have that many hours?" John asked.

"Can you handle 2-3 extra credit hours?" Raphael asked.

"I don't know," John admitted.

"Go talk to your guidance counselor, explain the feeling, see what fits in your schedule, you're 1st-year law student, you have time," Raphael explained.

"Thank you," John stated.

Rafael nodded his head and continued entering grades in the system. He had finally finished at 7:00 pm, and besides meetings with other staff, he was done with students until the 3rd week in January. He was teaching the same classes this semester, glad he didn't need to do too much work. He felt lucky he wasn't a professor who taught different courses each semester, at least not now anyway. He looked at his calendar. He had a meeting tomorrow before Lucy's graduation, and then two weeks in Malibu and the same day he came back was a late afternoon meeting, he was already missing one while he was away, but he was assured it wasn't an issue. Rafael sighed at the fact he hadn't packed if it were any other vacation he would have at least started by now. With everything else going on, he hadn't found the time.

Rafael texted Olivia and told her he would be at his apartment packing. It reminded her that she hadn't started either, and would see him the next day, it was the first time in a long time they'd be sleeping alone.

The next morning came, Rafael messaged Olivia claiming he would meet her after his meeting so they could all go to the graduation. Rafael went to the meeting. They were going over the seniors who only had one semester before graduation and what if any concerns the professors had. Rafael only had a handful of seniors in his Trial Advocacy class. His Criminal law class had to be completed by the end of the 2nd year. Rafael put in his input when it was needed. They talked about the staff Christmas party, which was that Saturday they night before they were supposed to leave, and it was almost mandated he and his family attend. He and Olivia had planned it. She was technically on call. It was a semi-formal event, and she joked about a dress and gun clashing. Rafael just prayed she wouldn't get called in.

Rafael made it to Olivia's apartment with only 30 minutes to spare. He hadn't eaten dinner and rummaged through the cabinets looking for a snack he could take on the go, grabbing a bunch of little things that were mainly for Noah's lunch box. Rafael was nibbling when Olivia came out of the bedroom, dressed in a green dress and a pair of heels. Noah was in polo and black dress pants, and black shoes that Rafael bought him so long ago. He smiled at the memory.

"I think he'll need a new pair soon, his toes almost touch," Olivia claimed, knowing what Raphael was thinking.

Raphael smiled as he quickly popped the last fruit snack in his mouth, and they headed to the commencement. When they arrived Raphael and Olivia were shocked by the volume of people in the venue, they found a seat far enough they didn't think they were interrupting the view of parents but close enough that they could see the faces of the people on stage. The college Lucy was graduating from in the university only had a few majors, but there were about 300 graduates in attendance. The plan was to sit through listening to the speeches, and then the college made a farewell dinner for students and guests. The whole thing took just under two hours. Noah had wined a few times and even nodded off for a little bit until Olivia woke him when Lucy was about to take the stage. Noah screamed loudly when her name was called, Olivia let a happy tear go down her cheek as she grabbed the diploma. She was now officially not caring about the rest of the ceremony and hoped the time would pass by quickly.

Olivia found Lucy's mother, and apparently, her grandmother rather quickly and waited with them for Lucy to come to meet them at the dining table. James went through a little later on. Lucy was seen with fellow graduates smiling, taking pictures, and talking to professors. Olivia was happy that she decided to continue on with her studies. This environment seemed to suit her. They all sat together and talked a little before going to the buffet. Olivia was shocked by the high-end meat carving station, the area complete with fries, chicken nuggets, and pizza. They also had a spread of pasta, salads, and bread. When they reached the table and looked over everyone's plate, they were truly in awe of the school's thoughtfulness.

"I need to come to more graduations here," Raphael stated as he began to eat.

Everyone laughed and continued to talk about Lucy's time off from school, and her going to grad school at NYU. They sat there like a little family, and Lucy was touched deeply by everyone in her life. She was excited to walk and receive her diploma. She was happy to share this moment with everyone so close to her. She took in the group around her, who has helped her along her journey and smiled and waved at fellow graduates. It was odd that this was the last time she would be here, moving on to NYU next fall, but everything seemed to be looking up after the past few months of ups and downs.

Olivia and Raphael walked into his apartment, it was late, and Noah had fallen asleep on the ride home. Raphael picked the boy up and carried him in the house.

"He's getting too big for that," Olivia commented.

"I know, but he's not too big yet," Raphael mentioned. He laid him in the bed, and took off his shoes, Noah didn't even move. Raphael pulled the blankets tightly around him and closed the door.

"Have you packed clothes for Noah?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, I just am having a hard time. He's grown since the summer. He only has a few pairs of shorts that fit him. We might need to find him a few outfits while were there if it gets too hot. It's supposed to be 72 on Christmas." Olivia claimed.

"It will be nice, it's supposed to rain Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with a high of 36," Raphael mentioned

"Maybe a warm Christmas will be nice," Olivia mentioned.

"Yeah, just have to get through this Christmas party, and we're gold," Raphael stated.

Olivia laughed.

"Why don't we call it an early night?" Olivia asked.

"What do you have in mind?" Raphael asked.

"You." Olivia laughed.

Olivia could see Raphael's eyes dilate and sighed, knowing what will happen tonight. She wished that sex was on the table a little more often, with this needed break they would let that happen, but right now she was being pulled about 50 different ways, trying to make sure everything was up to date for Fin, going over things with chief Dodds about timelines. Making sure Stone had everything he needed for upcoming court hearings. She still had to check over half the list of things to pack for Noah. She hadn't even thought about the flight. She didn't even know what time it was. All she knew was come Monday that they were taking a family vacation, and she couldn't help but be thrilled by it.

Raphael seemed to tell that even though Olivia was extremely interested in getting him undressed, she had some other things on her mind. He knew the look on her face, and often his face looked the same back when he was ADA, and he knew she was thinking about multiple things.

"Liv, take a break, give me an hour, and I'll help you with all the other things on your plate," Raphael stated.

"You know me too well, I'm sorry just a lot to do in the next day. Work, your Christmas party, finish up the packing, what time is our flight?" Olivia asked between kissed.

Raphael laughed.

"It's at noon we have a layover in Denver and were landing at Bob Hope," Raphael stated.

"Thank God, I hate LAX," Olivia stated.

"So you have been to the West Coast," Raphael claimed.

"Yeah, it was a long time ago," Olivia stated.

She thought back to her UC days with the Feds, and it was such a long time away, but so short she had changed so much in that short amount of time, she really didn't know who she was back then, how easily she took to the persona.

Olivia noticed Raphael's confused looks after her daydream lasted a little too long.

"A story for another time," Olivia claimed.

Raphael shook his head, and Olivia pushed her lips against his unbuttoning his shirt, he couldn't help but smile causing Olivia to smile as they kissed no longer really paying attention if her lips were hitting his or not.

They took their clothes off quickly Raphael fumbling with a bra that had four hooks on the back instead of the usual 2, and she laughed as he tugged at it instead of unclasping the hook. She reached around and did it herself, letting the bra fall to the floor.

"Wish I had a fireplace to burn that thing in," Raphael mentioned

Olivia laughed, "That one is comfortable." Olivia claimed.

"I don't like it," Raphael claimed as he kicked the garment towards the laundry bin.

"Now, you know how I feel about all your buttons." Olivia chimed.

Raphael was now cupping her breasts in his hands and flicking her nipples with his thumbs, she was sighing, and pulling at his pants forgetting about the suspenders he never took off, She grabbed at them pulling herself into him. Sliding them down and unbuttoning his pants. Olivia pushed her self against him, still standing up, feeling his erection on her belly.

"Rafa," Olivia begged, as he held her close not making his way towards the bed, her knees were jello, and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Raphael finally walked her to the bed before she pulled him down to the floor.

Olivia was giggling as he was now tickling more than caressing. Olivia slapped his hands away.

"I love you," Olivia stated.

Raphael smiled, "I love you too."

Olivia and Raphael wasted no more time and finished what they started, lying in bed, hot and sticky, but neither wanting to move, pulling each other close and fell asleep.

The next morning, Olivia and Raphael were rushing around. Olivia left Noah with Raphael to pack the rest of their stuff. Praying, she didn't get called in. She made it until 3 pm when her cellphone rang and was the chief.

Olivia sighed, she was lucky she finished packing everything and cleaning up the apartment. She called Raphael and claimed she would either meet him at his apartment or at the party. Raphael understood and finished zipping up a carry on for himself as well as Noah filled with snacks and little puzzle games as well as a charger for his iPad.

Olivia found Carasi at his desk and smiled,

"sorry, you're stuck here today too." Olivia stated.

"Nah it's fine, I hear you have a commitment tonight," Sonny mentioned.

"Yeah, I was sort of dreading it, maybe this is my prayer working," Olivia stated.

"Nah, I don't think it works like that," Sonny claimed.

"Probably right," Olivia claimed.

"The chief told me to meet him here, where is he?" Olivia asked.

"Uh, he already left, this is more personal than professional," Sonny claimed.

"I'm sorry?" Olivia asked.

"Well, Vice just brought in a guy Willard Sawyer, said they wanted to see if you remembered him you and a detective Stabler picked him up quite a while ago, I pulled the file for you," Sonny explained.

"Doesn't explain why you were called in," Olivia claimed.

"Actually, that was another case Dodds was trying to get you out of coming in today," Sonny claimed.

Olivia smiled.

"Well, what do you have," Olivia asked.

"Footage that a nail salon sent us, apparently their packages were stolen, and they were going through surveillance, they didn't find their guy but found this."

Sonny turned his laptop around to show a man in a heavy coat drag a woman into an alleyway with his big coat he obscures himself, but it's pretty clear he is raping or attempting to rape the girl.

"That's not the only time I went back a few days see if I could see someone scoping out the place, he's here with another girl three days prior they only have a week's worth of footage, and I am going through day five now," Carasi explained.

"Any reports with matching description?" Olivia asks.

"I'm running it through the system now. Got a few hits, but nothing seems to be this." Sonny claimed.

"Well, I'm not saying to try, but those victims could be anywhere, don't stay here all day on something that can wait for Monday to come, with more help and fresh eyes," Olivia claimed.

"While you're waiting?" Carasi asks.

Olivia sits next to him closer than usual, she no longer is too concerned about personal space they are good friends now when his arm brushes against her she doesn't recoil but simply moves away. This wouldn't have been the situation a year ago.

They see nothing in the rest of day 5, and Sonny starts day 6 when police from Vice comes in.

Olivia had read over the incident, she remembers the name but wouldn't have been able to give any information without reading the file about him first.

Olivia tries to give all the information she can trying remember if anything was missing from the reports. The Vice Detectives don't seem to be annoyed by her lack of remembrance but were happy to get the file. The questioning didn't last long, which lead her to help Sonny finish the tapes before ordering home. It was 5:30, she didn't have time to go back and with her luck she'd be getting another call soon, so wearing a red sweater and black pants with regular boots on, her gun and badge hanging from her hip she went to go see her boys.

The Christmas party was held in a smaller conference room of the student union. It was catered by NYU, and it was an all-out feast. Olivia saw every meat and side dish imaginable, and the catering service was still bringing more in. It caught her eye before Raphael did. He was in a circle talking to a group of colleagues. She loved that look, it was that of contentment. She was happy he wasn't uncomfortable. His eyes met hers, and he suddenly stopped talking.

"Everything okay?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, Vice just needed a word," Olivia stated.

"Where's Noah?" Olivia asked.

Raphael pointed to the far corner where he was playing with 5 other kids about his age, they were laughing and playing some kind of game. Olivia smiled. Noah looked up and realized she was there he came over and hugged her.

"You made it, mommy," Noah claimed

She sighed; she hated that Noah thought she might not show up. She smiled at him though and said

"Yeah, mommy's here."

Raphael grimaced but turned back to his colleges.

"This is Olivia." Raphael smiled. Olivia had recognized a few staff members there but pleasantly chatted away, noticing that several people eyed her badge and gun. She had her usual lines for what she did, although having law school staff helped that she didn't have to explain her job like she was talking to a five-year-old.

Food was ready, and they lined up at both sides of the table Raphael helping Noah with his plate. When they sat down, Raphael realized the chairs and tables in here were not designed to eat on, and Noah was having difficulty. He needed a booster seat even some of the older kids did. Raphael adjusted his chair and had Noah sit with him, allowing Olivia to take Noah's old place and lean up against Raphael and Noah. The two talked to Professor Nyla and her husband, Mark. Olivia couldn't get over how young the couple was, she felt like she could easily be their mother, which made her nervous once again about raising Noah.

"What do you teach?" Olivia finally asked.

"I am here has an adjunct professor, I am teaching scheduling, which sounds funny I know, but the law field is its own time zone." Professor Nyla explained.

Olivia nodded her head, she understood completely, and Raphael laughed at her comment.

The 4 of them had a friendly conversation long after Noah and their daughter Peula got down and went to play. Olivia was happy that this afforded them some friends outside of the squad room and talked with the family until the party was over.


	30. Vacation

A/N: Only three chapters left, guys! I hope you guys like this ending, I have written the 1st chapter of the sequel Noah is older, so there is more of him in it, but plenty R/O :D

Olivia, Raphael, and Noah were sitting on the plane. It was a 10 am flight, with a 2-hour layover in Denver before they landed at Bob Hope Airport, just outside of LA. Olivia was worried about keeping Noah busy, but he quickly sat in his seat and enjoyed coloring, or playing on his tablet until the plane landed in Denver. When they got inside the airport, Raphael hunted down lunch and pointed to the direction of the kid's area where he said he would meet them. Luckily the indoor playground was close to their gate, which allowed Noah to run around and let out all the energy he had before another 2.5-hour journey to California. The little boy was alone playing in the area but was happy none the less. Raphael had found a place with sandwiches and brought them to the play area. Noah took a few bites in between running around, waiting for the flight to take off.

They had finally touched down, walking onto the tarmac before entering the small airport, only to head out to the rental cars winding around the walkway to the pickup area. Noah was quite upset that they had to drive another hour to the beach house. When they finally arrived with the time difference, it was 2 pm there, but 5 pm at home. Olivia had only been to the airport. Raphael had made a point to drive down Hollywood Blvd. So Olivia and Noah could point and talk about the area. Before heading on the one up the coast to the beach house. It was a lot further north than Olivia had thought. They had gotten a good glimpse of the beach along the way, but houses blocked a lot of the beach, and then the road went inland for a while before seeing the beach once again. Olivia was surprised by the sharp turn up the hill that Raphael made.

"This is it." He stated.

Olivia smiled, they were beachfront, but the house sat upon the cliffside. There were a ton of people out for Christmas time. Some kids were in the water. Some young adults were surfing, but mostly it was people in swimsuits laying on the beach. The weather wasn't quite warm enough when thinking of a beach trip, but she understood why so many people were out. They had brought their items inside, Raphael had packed more than Olivia and had to pay an extra fee for a 3rd bag. Olivia wasn't too concerned by her appearance in a state she never stayed in. She wanted this to be a time to relax, but Raphael had other ideas, bringing multiple three-piece suits. Olivia had brought a nice dress just in case, but the only time they would have to go out alone was when Lucia came in.

Olivia had sat everything down in the entryway. The house was small compared to the others on the street; it looked slightly out of place. The house was narrow, with an open floor plan on the first floor, and large windows looking out to the beach. There was a deck, and then what looked like very steep steps going down to the oceanfront. Although there was nothing outside indicating it was decorated for the holiday season other than a wreath at the door, the inside had a tree and various décor. Raphael had led Olivia and Noah upstairs, showing the rooms. The master bedroom had a bathroom attached. The room was pained seafoam blue, but the rest of the décor was in black and white. Noah's room beside them was painted green with a blue comforter on the queen size bed. The room reserved for Lucia had a queen-sized bed with an ocean theme. There was carpeting in the bedrooms only, the rest of the home covered in tile, that was cold to the feet, making the 3 of them shuffle around in slippers or thick socks.

Truth be told, Olivia had made no plans with this trip, relying on Raphael to help with the ideas of what to do in the area. Raphael had stated that they should give themselves a day to adjust to the time zone and get used to the home itself, buy some groceries, and enjoy the views. Raphael was going over options of what they could do, explaining how much there was especially for kids Noah's age all within a 1-2 hour drive including, Disney, Universal, Multiple aquariums, museums, and other things to do.

To say Olivia was overwhelmed by all the things to do was an understatement. NYC was the same with a laundry list of things to do, but living there made it seem like they were all possible eventually. Here on the West Coast, it felt like time was rushing by, and they were squandering it away. She agreed that Disney would be worth the drive, even though she wasn't so sure if they enjoyed the time, Noah would love it. They would need two days, one for each park. Olivia had never been to a Disney park but has heard stories from coworkers. She was sure she could walk the miles it takes to make it through the park. She wasn't so sure how long Noah could hang in there. They planned one day at Disney for the following day and then another day at the other park right after Christmas. Raphael had done the research, knowing it was going to be busy. Olivia was hoping for the best. They talked about going on a few piers, and even a trip through Hollywood.

The time seemed to speed by; even Noah didn't complain when it took 1.5 hours to get to Disneyland, then another 30 minutes to park and get to the entrance of the park. Walking through Main Street USA, all 3 of them felt the magic that Olivia had heard about many times. The streets were beautifully decorated for Christmas, and because this was just the entryway, there wasn't a big crowd. The day called for rain, so not a lot of people were in the park, and Olivia prayed that the rain would stay away but packed ponchos just in case. Noah looked around unsure where to go, but Raphael had a map and planned on walking straight back to Toontown and working there way back to the front. Noah was in awe, and Olivia and Raphael both admitted to each other that they were surprised by the place. Noah was not afraid to ride anything, getting on the smaller rides by himself. When they finally got around to Big Thunder Railroad, Noah took it stride and begged to ride again. The lines were short, and Raphael and Noah agreed to go back, before wandering off to yet another area of the park. The only meltdown Noah had was that he wanted ears, and although Olivia was willing to buy him a pair, she didn't want him to lose them and wanted to wait until the end of the day. With so many shops all over, Noah was beginning to ask every time he saw a store until he cried, trying to get his way. Olivia knew it had been a long day for all of them, and most likely, he needed a break. It was 4 pm, and although he didn't usually nap anymore, she was sure they could all use one. Raphael suggested going back to the car, Noah hated the idea, but after Raphael picked him up and carried him back to the parking lot, the 3 of them napped in the car, all quickly falling asleep until 6:30 pm.

Everyone felt refreshed, and Noah was ready to give the park another go, the sun was setting, and when they went through the gates again, Olivia was surprised by all the lights and new way of looking at the park. Since they had worked back to front, the only areas left for them to explore was Fantasyland and Tomorrowland. They got dinner at Carnation Cafe. Fantasyland seemed the most crowded, but Noah didn't seem to mind the lines. Noah was giggling when they went up and down on Dumbo and admitted he didn't like the Teacups. Alice in Wonderland was something all three enjoyed. Noah finally got his ears. Olivia didn't want his name put on them, knowing that's a way predictors lure kids in. Noah argued for only a second, then proudly wore his ears around Main St. as they watched the fireworks before the long drive back.

Noah had instantly fallen asleep as Olivia and Raphael admitted they both had a lot more fun than they thought they would. The next day was a day to relax and go down to the beach or have a lazy day in. Olivia was grateful for the slow pace, something neither one of them was used to. When they finally made it back to the beachfront home, Noah woke up, but quickly fell back asleep, Raphael and Olivia barely made it to the bed, not bothering with an alarm, and falling asleep.

The next day came late for them. It was 8 am when they woke up, meaning back home, it was already 11 am. They spent a lazy day going to the market, picking out food, and walking down to the beach. Olivia had shorts on and a long sleeve shirt. It was 68 degrees, and although it wasn't cold, it was far from average beach weather. Raphael sat in his swim trunks forgoing a shirt, and Noah was in a rash guard and shorts in case he wanted in the water. Olivia walked to the edge of where the waves were hitting and allowed her feet to get washed in the wave, shocked by how cold the water was.

"Why is it so cold?" Olivia asked.

"It's actually coldest in September. There is a reason why everyone out in the water, except the kids, are in full suits." Raphael stated.

Olivia looked around, and this was true. Anyone who was staying in the water had wet suits on, and most were trying to surf. Olivia allowed Noah to dip his feet in but also agreed it was too cold. He would, on occasion, walk back towards the very edge of the water and dip his toes in watching his footprints disappear with the next wave. Olivia happily watched her boy play in the sand, vowing that next time they go to the beach, the water would be warm enough to get in. Olivia couldn't deny the beauty of the sunset, the way the water took away the sun was something she wasn't sure she would ever get used too. She had remembered her undercover days once more, looking out at the sunsets, wondering how long it would be until she saw a sunrise instead.

"What are you thinking about?" Raphael asked as he noticed she was somewhere else.

"Long story, if you're interested, remind me tonight," Olivia claimed.

Raphael nodded.

"We should head inside. The wind is picking up." Raphael noted.

Olivia shook her head and packed up their things she grabbed the towels, and helped Noah up the very steep steps that lead to the beach, there was a gate at the top, that Raphael unlocked and they made their way on the back deck shaking sand out of everything. When they finally made inside, they still had a pile of sand at the kitchen door.

Noah seemed content to watch TV as Olivia and Raphael worked together to make dinner. They ate dinner while planning the next day, which included going to the Farmer's Market, and going through Hollywood. Noah seemed excited to try the different foods at the market but seemed uninterested by the Dolby Theater or anything else on Hollywood Blvd.

Noah went to bed early the time on the beach, running around and playing wore him out. He made no arguments when Raphael read him a story and closed the bedroom door for the night.

"So, are you ready to tell me what was on your mind earlier?" Raphael asked.

Olivia bit her lip; it was hard to explain.

"The last time I was on the West coast, I was Persephone James," Olivia stated.

Raphael furrowed his brow, utterly confused by the statement.

"I went undercover for the FBI," Olivia explained.

"Long story short, it was just me doing my job, to get justice for a rape victim."

"NO, Liv that's more than your job, did you have any idea what you were getting into?" Raphael asked.

"It was a long time ago, back in 2006, it wasn't dangerous," Olivia explained

"So, being back here reminds you of it?" Raphael stated.

"I was in Oregon, but I remember watching the sunsets, drinking hot tea, wondering when I'd see New York again. It was only six weeks, but it changed my life. I understood what the group stood for, you know. I was so quickly taken in as one of them. It was the first time I had ever felt like I belonged, even though I was lying." Olivia explained.

"It must have been difficult," Raphael stated.

"Not really. Which in my mind made it a problem." Olivia claimed.

"Because it was so easy for you to play a part?" Raphael asked.

"No, because I enjoyed it so much," Olivia claimed.

Raphael didn't know what to say. He had no idea what it was like to go undercover, and going under with the FBI, was a lot different than a sting investigation that the detectives regularly did. He just sat there waiting for Olivia to say more, but when the words never came, he didn't push anymore.

"You ready for bed?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah," Olivia said, but her voice felt distant. She was still stuck in the past, Raphael wasn't sure when she would snap out of it, but he knew sometimes you just had to think about it. He knew how often he thought back to his neighborhood, his days at Harvard, and now his time with the DA's office that was all the past, even though some days it felt like only yesterday. He sighed and walked up the steps Olivia following behind him.

When they got into bed, Raphael was expecting sleep, but Olivia had pulled his shirt up and was using her finger to draw on his chest. They hadn't said one word to each other, Raphael let her tease him moving her hand from his chest to his stomach, and every once in awhile dipping below the boxers he had on. Olivia teasing him, made him feel overwhelmed with need and want he knew he was selfish, but he didn't dare turn over to offer any reciprocation. Finally, after a long time, she pulled him onto his back, pulling at his waistband freeing him from the constraint of his boxers. Olivia smiled at him, and he smiled back before she started kissing him on the lips. Raphael finally touched her again, circling her breasts pinching at her nipples, pulling on her hips.

Olivia looked at him, grabbing his penis, asking for permission with her eyes, and he only nodded his acceptance. Olivia lined him up and pushed down quickly and moved quickly, Raphael was surprised by her speed but quickly matched her, frantic pace. He knew that wasn't her normal, but she moaned out in pleasure, which threw him off for a second, and she crashed her lips to his in a hurried need. Raphael excepted the sloppy kiss. He felt her roll her hips hitting in a new spot her body tightening around him, and he couldn't help but growl as he pushed them even faster, and Olivia easily kept up, and he came. He knew she wasn't quite there and allowed her to keep rocking until she was done too.

They both were out of breath panting, still not a word spoken. She finally rolled off him but always felt like her legs were jello. She curled herself into him. Finally, Raphael couldn't bear the silence anymore.

"That was different," he commented.

"Was that okay?" Olivia asked, suddenly concerned.

"No, it was fine, it's just usually not how this goes."

Olivia smiled.

"Sometimes, I just need to let go," Olivia claimed.

"Well, you certainly did." Raphael chuckled.

He looked over at the clock. It was pushing 11.

Raphael wasn't quite sure if he could stand up after that. Still, after planting his feet and waiting a minute, he walked to the bathroom, turning on the shower offering Olivia to join him. The two soaped each other up, but avoided anything leading to a second-round before falling asleep sprawled out on the king-size bed.

Morning came quickly. Noah woke up at 7:30 am. Olivia and Raphael quickly decided it was cereal kind of morning. They ate their meal while Raphael explained to Noah all the different places they could go to at the Farmers Market, although they discussed it the night before Raphael was happy to tell him again, as Noah's grin gets wider on his face. They lounge around for a while watching the ocean from the deck, pointing to the people wiping out on the surfboards, and watching as sea birds that came looking for food.

When they arrived at the Farmers Market, it was busy, and Olivia quickly took Noah's hand as they poked around all the stalls trying to get small items to share. The toy shop reminded Olivia of the one near their house, Noah had wanted to go in staring at the monster lego kits. Olivia laughed when he said he wanted one in a box that was bigger than he was. Olivia agreed on a much smaller lego set that could easily go into the carry on when they left.

Across the way were several shops that they could all easily find back home, so they didn't bother but instead walked around the area, Olivia popping into a few specialty shops buying a few small items. Before they finally made their way to Hollywood Blvd. Olivia was shocked to find the Dolby theater had shops all around and was more like a shopping mall than anything else. They walked around the area, walking across the bridges to get a good look at the Hollywood Sign. Noah noticed the Dave and Busters, and although that wasn't the plan, Raphael couldn't say no, so they went and ate sub-par food, and allowed Noah to play in the arcade for about an hour. Even though Noah didn't like Hello Kitty, he was in awe of the store, and they took a peek before walking across to the Disney Ghirardelli shop. Once again, the day was quickly ending and was getting dark, but it wasn't late. Raphael looked at the movies playing at the TCL theater, finding a family-friendly film and asking Olivia, once she agreed, they picked their seats and walked back across the street for the film. By the time they got back to the beach house, Noah was still hyper and wanted to put the lego set together. Raphael agreed to help the little boy, but Noah seemed fine looking at the pictures and doing it on his own, only needing help wit one odd piece that Raphael had trouble locking together.

Raphael and Olivia woke up the next day, with Noah in between them. Raphael hadn't woken up, but Noah asked Olivia to climb up in bed after a bad dream, too tired to try to get him back to bed she opened the covers allowing the little boy to come up climbing over her and into the middle.

Noah was taking up most of the King size bed, lying sideways under the covers no pillow. Raphael looked over at Olivia, who simply shrugged her shoulders, and got out of the bed, Raphael followed leaving Noah, in the bed. They walked down to the kitchen, making coffee, enjoying the quiet morning.

"So how about going to the Pier, we can either stay in Malibu or go down to Santa Monica, Santa Monica's more kid-friendly," Raphael mentioned.

"Mmm, I'd prefer a day in." Olivia claimed, pulling Raphael in kissing him on the lips, as the coffee began to brew.

"Me too," but is that even doable?

"We'll find out." Olivia smiled.

"Noah didn't have the best night last night, he had a nightmare, and he usually doesn't get them anymore," Olivia mentioned.

Raphael just shook his head.

They drank their coffee and opened the doors out onto the deck listening to the waves crash onto the shore.

"You know it sounds different here," Olivia mentioned.

Raphael agreed. "It's not like back home."

"I think Miami is in our future," Olivia mentioned.

"I have family there, Liv; they would know we were there," Raphael claimed.

"Good, then they can take Noah, and we'll have some times to ourselves," Olivia claimed.

Raphael laughed, kissing Olivia's lips as they stand on the deck, holding each other close trying to keep the wind from making them too cold. Olivia turned to face the inside at the exact moment Noah tripped going down the steps, the little boy fell on his butt and slid down three steps before coming to a stop, Raphael didn't realize until he heard the thump.

Olivia raced over to the little boy. He was trying desperately not to cry. He wasn't bleeding, and Olivia saw he landed on his butt.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked.

Noah simply nodded his head.

"Okay, Noah, let's get some breakfast, whatever you want," Olivia claimed.

Noah was slow to get up from the steps.

Raphael grabbed the little boy's hand, but he wanted more Noah grabbed Raphael for a hug. Raphael obliged, and walked him over to the couch. Noah sat down gingerly and leaned into Raphael for support. Olivia made Noah's favorite pancakes. Noah seemed to be okay with staying at the beach that day. They walked out onto the deck, enjoying the view it was a little chilly, and they all had sweaters on, the sun was beating down despite the chill in the air, it felt beautiful. The seashore smell was something Olivia could never get enough of, and she was sure that she would miss this place by the time the vacation was through. Noah was begging to make sandcastles, so the 3 of them headed down to the beach to build a giant sandcastle.

The day ended with a trip to a local Taco stand, a place the Raphael insists on going to every time he is in town, Olivia rolled her eyes at the apparent need for tacos. Still, when she bit into it, she wondered why it took this many days to arrive at the place. It was the best taco she had ever had, and Noah happily munched away, declaring it the best dinner they had since they've been in California. Olivia knew that Lucia would be there soon, and she was happy for Raphael's mother to be joining them for Christmas, but Olivia still had to shop for her little boy. Raphael and Olivia discussed the fact that they would be getting him small items only and get him a giant lego set when they got back home. Noah had been eyeing multiple sets. Olivia smiled at Noah and Raphael as they talked about tacos. She wasn't sure how her life got to the place it was now, but she couldn't complain. This was all she had ever wanted.


	31. Christmas

A/N: Hey guys, you think with me practically being at home every second of the day would find me more time, but with my husband being home every second of the day too, its hard to concentrate on writing/ editing. I will say I have written the first very short chapter of the sequel. I am working on some other stuff too but really right now my muse has left me at the moment if I am being honest and I have no idea how long it will be before I start to push that one through, I tend to do best by writing more than 50% of the story before starting on here, if not I tend to abandon it so… I will try my best to get it up soon.

Lucia arrived at Bob Hope Airport on the morning of the 22nd Raphael went to pick her up while Olivia and Noah enjoyed sleeping in. When Raphael returned with Lucia in tow, Olivia had made a large spread of lunch items and they happily caught Lucia up on the last 6 days Noah telling her all kinds of exciting adventures including his time at Santa Monica Pier and his wonderful time at Disney. Noah was talking 100 miles a minute but Lucia enjoyed it more than the beachfront property itself.

Lucia agreed to stay with Noah, while Raphael and Olivia did some Christmas shopping, knowing there were 1000's of places to chose from. They stopped at Nordstrom's, for a few more outfits and things he could use while they were there. They stopped at a dollar store to get more sand castle molds, agreeing they would stay at the beach house for everyone else to use. They had gone to a Lego store and bout a few small sets for him to do. They went to the Disney store after finding out he was intrigued with pin collecting and got him some so he could trade when they went back. The bags added up and Olivia wasn't sure where all this was going in the suitcase home.

"We can mail it back, Liv." Raphael stated as he noticed her eyeing all the contents in their hands.

Olivia nodded her head.

"Thanks for all this Rafa, this has been really nice." Olivia stated.

"I was just thinking the same thing, this has been a great trip, and we still have seven more days." Raphael mentioned.

"It will go by quickly," Olivia pointed out.

"It will," Raphael agreed.

Olivia and Raphael made it back in time to see Lucia busy in the kitchen.

"Mami, there is no need for you to make dinner; this is your vacation too!" Raphael said quickly.

"Non-since, the only reason I'm out here is that I wouldn't miss the first Christmas with Noah for the world. Besides, you had everything in the fridge all ready for me to make fufu, and it's simple and easy."

"What ever you say, mom." Raphael sighed.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the interaction between the two of them. At times like these, it made Olivia miss her mom. She loathed her mom when she was younger. She never understood her mom's alcoholism, her violent outbursts; she still didn't get it entirely. She knew now though how difficult it was to be a mom, a single mom, and try to hold it all together. She was lucky she had so many beautiful friends. She was fortunate that Raphael Barba made her a not so single parent, and she was genuinely grateful that she didn't turn out like her mother, but that didn't make the sting of Lucia and Raphael's interaction hurt any less.

She had to admit she was a bit jealous of the two. It seemed like they had a healthy normal relationship, but she knew that it hadn't always been that way. She knew that Raphael's father was a drunk and that domestic violence was an issue in the home. Raphael had admitted he hated the man that, for so many years, he had to call his father, but even with the hate, Raphael's father was his inspiration to get out. Olivia didn't even meet the man, but she had so many emotions about him. She loved that Raphael made himself who he was. She hated why he felt he had to do it. She wondered if Raphael would still have gone to Harvard if his father hadn't been a drunk. Olivia doesn't think SVU would play a part in her life if her mom hadn't drunk herself to death. Noah snapped her out of her thoughts when he had come to sit with her on the couch, curling up next to her. He seemed exhausted, and Olivia wrapped her arms around him tight, allowing the 7-year-old to fall asleep in her arms, she didn't know how many more times this would happen, and she was going to let the boy to lay on her forever if he would allow it. She knew though that he was growing up too fast for her liking and was content for this moment in time.

Lucia and Raphael had joined her in the living room Raphael smiling at the little boy and his mother. Raphael wasn't sure what he did in his life to ever deserve the two of them. He never knew how easy it would be to fall in love with the little boy and his mom. If Raphael had to be completely honest with himself, he thought he lost Olivia when Noah came into the picture. He had never been around children and had no clue how to be a dad. He didn't even know if Olivia would want the boy to have a dad considering her biological father was a rapist. Raphael couldn't believe that Olivia Benson trusted him, of all people in the world, to be Noah's dad. Raphael snapped out of his thoughts when his mom asked a question he dreaded.

"Where's your family this Christmas, Olivia?" Lucia asked.

Raphael didn't put Olivia's personal life on display in front of his mother. Of course, she knew about her life now, her career, and knew how Noah came to be, but she didn't know of Olivia's childhood, her lack of family. He could have said something but didn't feel like it was his place.

"Well, the only family I have left is a half brother I haven't seen in years. My mom died a while ago in an accident. My dad was never in the picture," Olivia stated quickly.

Lucia frowned. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up any past issues."

"It's okay, everything happened a long time ago, I'm used to it." Olivia mentioned.

Raphael hated that she was used to being alone, and he wanted to make sure she never felt that way again. He knew it would take a lot of work, they loved each other, but he knew that even love wasn't always enough. He leaned in closer to Olivia, pushing his body against both her and Noah. He was hoping the gesture would let her know he was there.

Lucia began talking about holiday traditions, memories of Raphael's childhood during Christmas. They were mainly happy memories but a few sad ones like when they couldn't afford the big-ticket item Raphael had been going on months about. Olivia thought back to her childhood memories of Christmas. There had been a few good years when she was younger, but the older she got, the more her mother drank, and the less Christmas felt like Christmas. It wasn't until that first Christmas with Noah that she had felt the Christmas spirit inside herself since she was about 12 years old.

The timer in the kitchen went off indicating dinner was made and woke Noah up in the process. He was confused for only a second when Olivia told him that dinner was ready. The boy's eye's lit up similarly to Raphael's when there was mention of food, and he quickly got off of the couch and walked into the kitchen/ dining area of the home. Olivia smiled at the little boy before getting up and making her way to the kitchen, helping Lucia while Raphael and Noah talked about tomorrow's trip going through downtown LA.

Noah desperately needed a bath he had only rinsed off down at the beach the last few days and Olivia had talked the boy into a warm bubble bath before sleep. Olivia was setting the water as Noah stripped off his clothes, and that's when she saw it. Her stomach dropped as a purple line went across the top part of his butt. She knew he must have hit the same spot on his body, coming down the steps to leave a mark like that.

"Noah I'm so sorry, are you sure your okay after that fall?" Olivia asked.

"It hurts to sit down." Noah mentioned.

Olivia shook her head.

"I know baby. It will get better soon." Olivia stated.

Olivia felt bad that Noah was in any type of pain. If she hadn't known any better, the mark looked like a skinny belt that someone had hit him with. This quickly made her think about multiple cases and wondering if any of the excuses both child and parent had made were now true. She knew she shouldn't go down the rabbit hole, but she was. She wanted nothing more at that moment to fly home, look through all the cases of the last 18 years, and see if they got something wrong. She sighed, knowing it would do no good at all, but her brain was remembering a couple of cases in particular, and she knew that sleep tonight would elude her.

Olivia Lucia and Raphael discussed the plans for the following day. Lucia had been there before but was excited to be able to point out the Staples Center and take him up to the Oue Skyspace. Olivia was so happy that everyone seemed to want to make Noah happy. She told the other adults of the bruising to her little boy's body, and Raphael looked equally as hurt when finding out about it. Lucia headed to bed early, not used to the time difference yet, and already having a long day of the flight.

Olivia and Raphael headed to bed, Raphael was snuggling up to her and holding her tighter than normal. Olivia knew it was a combination of events that had occurred to make him feel a little less confident than normal and needed to reassure Olivia he was there, and in return, know she was with him as well. Olivia let the man hold her tightly, she couldn't say it was the most comfortable thing, but there was something about leaning into him that made her feel safe, and she wasn't going to object if that's what he needed that night. She still had a lot on her mind, so she fell into a fit full sleep-waking from several odd dreams, she couldn't quite remember. Raphael was still holding her, although not as tightly, and she pulled away slightly before finally falling asleep peacefully.

December 23rd came and went with views of LA being seen by the group of four, food being eaten from various food vendors on the streets, that were 1000 times better than Olivia had ever had in New York. The warm weather didn't make it feel like Christmas, but the lights and Christmas music, along with the rest of the traditions, seemed to make it feel a little more like the holidays. The city traffic wasn't as dense in New York but slowed all the same, giving the time for Olivia, Noah, and Lucia to eye the sites as Raphael drove through the town. They stopped along various spots ending up the Oue Skyspace Noah was excited to go down the glass slide. Olivia went with the little boy sliding through the tunnel. Raphael and Lucia met them at the end, and they went to Korea town for dinner. Olivia wasn't so sure Noah would eat something in the Korean Barbecue establishment . Still, Raphael so easily explained in kid-friendly terms what everything was, and the boy happily ate along with the adults. They got back to the home with the sun already setting, and Christmas Eve upon them.

Olivia it looked at the Christmas tree that somehow seemed homey even though it wasn't personalized. It had various colored bulbs and white lights and a silver star on top. There had been a few wrapped presents under the tree. Nothing large, as they all had to take it back but, it was nice to see the gifts all, but one she knew was for Noah, the other was for Lucia and was something Raphael had found while shopping for Noah. She had to wrap Raphael's gift, of noise-canceling headphones he had mentioned a time or two, because of all the hallway traffic by his paper-thin door and walls at his desk. He had claimed it was difficult to concentrate when he could hear all the conversations held by students in the general range of his desk. This past semester he had heard 3 breaks ups, what he thought was a drug deal, but couldn't prove. He heard multiple conversations about assignments of his and other professors, both good and bad. Sometimes it was funny, but most of the time, it was annoying so Olivia hoped they would help.

Olivia had told Raphael not to get her anything. He had asked a million times what she had wanted, and she had avoided the conversation multiple times. He would catch starting off on another subject. She would tell him the trip was enough. Raphael would huff at her but she never budged and she was curious if he had given up and let it go or if a package would be waiting come Christmas morning. She wouldn't be upset if there wasn't one, but she was curious what he would think of if he did get her something.

Noah was tired after a long day in but obviously not sleepy. He was talking to Lucia as if she hadn't been there every second of his time. Lucia just took it all in stride. Olivia was happy that Noah had her in his life. She never thought of Noah gaining a grandmother. It was something she never grew up with her, mother's mother died in a car crash when Olivia was 3, she had no memories of the woman.

Olivia thought about here and now, and she was amazed that this was how her life was now, it felt overwhelming, but in a good way. She felt as though she has more people, she could count on now than at any time in her life. She wasn't able to lean quite yet, but she knew if she needed too, she could. She appreciated her staff so much and wished that Fin, Amanda, and Sonny where all here as well. Even if they were back home, she doubted she would see any of them on Christmas, but she had missed the Christmas Party this year, and she was longing for the tradition she had come to loathe in the past.

Raphael sat next to Olivia, handing her a mug of hot chocolate, she noticed that Lucia and Noah had ones too. Raphael put some milk in it to cool it down, and they were all easily sipping it as they turned on the TV and found Christmas Classics on TV.

Christmas Eve was now upon the family that Olivia found herself in, and this is the first time she had ever thought about Christmas with a family. She couldn't help but let a few happy tears fall, as Noah jumped into her and Raphael's bed screaming, "It's Christmas Eve! Santa's all most here!"

Olivia laughed as the boy jumped, and Raphael couldn't help but smirk at the little boy's enthusiasm. Noah squished between his parents and was talking all about how exciting it was to be at the beach on Christmas. Olivia smiled that Noah realized how special this Christmas was. He was going on and on about what he thinks the next few days will be like, and Olivia was so happy that she and Raphael could make him so elated.

Lucia was already in the kitchen with coffee being made. Raphael grabbed the coffee as if it was his life force, greedily drinking a cup in a few chugs and refilling his cup.

Olivia took a sip knowing it was Cuban roast the only kind that Lucia would make. Lucia looked between the two amused at the different ways they were acting. Noah was asking what they were going to do that day. Raphael and Olivia had agreed the furthest they were going to go is down to the beach. Their plan was not to leave until they had to take Lucia to the airport on the morning of the 26th. Noah claims he wants to build the biggest sandcastle ever. Olivia and Raphael know that the sandcastle kit is under the tree and allow Noah to open 1 present early on Christmas Eve. Noah was excited to see all of the molds and quickly runs up the steps to get dressed to go outside. Olivia insists that Noah wears a heavy jacket because of the wind. Noah doesn't disagree. Olivia, Noah, Lucia, and Raphael all make their way down to the beach, a few homeowners are out, but it's the least amount of people they have seen all week. Noah starts to stake out a piece of land on the beach to build the perfect castle. He insists on using all the molds and they all build a big sandcastle. Noah is quite excited by the size of it, He gets upset when both his parents warn him if it gets any higher it will come crashing down. Noah walks all around it and admires it until it's lunchtime.

Noah asks about the Santa tracker and it shows him in a country Noah had never heard of.

"He will get here when it's dark." Olivia reminded Noah.

Noah nodded his head and they ate sandwiches. Lucia told a few stories of when Raphael was little and getting things from Santa for Christmas. Raphael blushed when Lucia mentioned that when he turned 8 he wanted an Easy Bake Oven, so he could bake just like his Abula.

"That's so sweet Rafa." Olivia smiled.

Noah wanted to watch Frosty, something they hadn't seen come on TV yet, and they didn't have but lucky for them it would be on later that night and they passed the afternoon playing board games kept at the house.

After dinner the sun was setting and Noah was worried that if he didn't get sleep soon Santa wouldn't come. Olivia didn't want him to go to bed too early and wake them up at 4am so she explained that Santa didn't come until the middle of the night. Noah still seemed a little nervous but shook his head and they stayed up watching Frosty and Frosty returns as well as some other Christmas cartoons.

When Noah went to bed the adults chatted about his gifts, and how wonderful it was to be on vacation during the Holidays. Lucia informed Raphael she actually needed to get a few work things done online she had been neglecting and Raphael knew better than to stop her. He also had been sending emails, and checking in on things just had Olivia, none of them truly ever being able to keep away from the office even if they were on the other side of the country.

Raphael and Olivia put out the presents from Santa and had a glass of wine. Cookies weren't mentioned and therefore not made. Olivia thought for sure Christmas wouldn't feel the same out on the beach and it didn't it felt even better than she expected.

Raphael and Olivia head to bed early, exhausted from all the running around this was the first night they could really catch up on sleep, the two head to bed early knowing Noah will be up at first light anyways.

Christmas came too soon for Olivia and Raphael as the Alarm clock readout 6:07 am. "Santa came, Santa came!" Noah yelled out.

"Mmmhhh"Raphael responded and Olivia laughed.

"Yeah, he did. Give us a few minutes, and we'll head downstairs." Olivia claimed.

Olivia and Raphael came down the steps together Lucia had already been dressed and ready for the morning the pot of coffee already close to the halfway mark.

Raphael shook his head.

"How long have you been up?" Raphael asked.

"5am, I've gotten used to the time difference the day before going back." Lucia muttered.

Raphael laughed and poured himself a large cup of coffee, Olivia decided to forgo the drink walking into the living room with Noah, who was pointing out all the gifts that weren't under the tree the night before.

Olivia Lucia and Raphael all watched as Noah opened his Christmas presents one by one excited for whatever it was he received. He loved his legos but he also had joy opening a spiderman t-shirt they found as well as a new pair of swim trunks. Noah was excited when Olivia told him that he had a big lego set waiting at home too big to bring with them. When he opened the gift from Lucia, Olivia sighed, it was ticketed for a musical Noah had been going on about, Olivia wasn't even sure what it was, and kept forgetting to look it up, but Lucia ensured her it was kid-friendly and had 3 tickets 4 rows back.

Olivia was happy Noah was happy, and he climbed and snuggled with both Raphael and Olivia asking for help putting one of the lego sets together.

Olivia and Raphael helped Noah, before opening gifts from each other, Olivia was mad he had actually gotten her something, but he insisted it wasn't a big deal. She waited for him to open his box, and he was quite delighted and didn't even remember bringing up the conversation of the want but was thankful none the less and explained how much easier it would be to concentrate.

Olivia opened a shirt box it was light and she was expecting to find a sweater or maybe some type of scarf, but they were legal documents and at first, she was confused until she began reading the paper, it officially made her a leasee , and now Raphael's apartment was now her apartment too, officially.

She smiled at him and hugged him.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Olivia smiled.

"I can't wait." Raphael claimed.

Olivia kissed him lightly and help on to him, grinning ear to ear, this was it they were finally moving into together. Of course, it had been discussed for a while but Olivia wasn't sure that Raphael was actually going to put her name on the document. She was one step ahead in her mind of all the things that needed to be backed, sold or put in storage.

The rest of Christmas had the family playing games, going out to the beach and cooking a beef roast for Christmas dinner. They could all feel the time drawling close Lucia was leaving and although they would be staying for 3 more days it reminded them of how quickly time went buy when they were enjoying theirselves.

Noah refused to go to sleep that night and Lucia had assured him they would see each other in a few days but he wasn't having it. Lucia told him she was going to bed and closed the door.

"Of all days Noah, it's Christmas, it's late and we have to get Lucia to the airport bright and early." Olivia claimed.

"I don't want her to go!" Noah screamed loudly.

"I know you don't, Noah, but we will see her soon." Olivia explained.

"NO!" Noah screamed.

"Noah, I don't even know what you're saying no to." Olivia explained.

"I don't want her to go!" Noah cried.

Noah was having a meltdown, and Raphael and Olivia both felt bad. They knew it was a combination of him genuinely going to miss her and lack of sleep, as well as all the excitement the last few days brought, he was all over the place, and Raphael tried his hand next.

"Hey Noah, we will see her soon, and we're taking her to the airport, you can say goodbye, and we can go to her house for New Years, okay?" Raphael asked.

Noah was still crying it was approaching midnight, and he crawled into Olivia's lap on the couch.

"Come, on let's get some sleep." Olivia claimed.

She didn't even walk him to his room, he went with them snuggling up to Olivia, while Raphael wrapped his arms around both of them. Noah was instantly asleep, and the adults didn't take long to follow.

Morning came too quickly at 5 am, the time they had to get up so Lucia could make her flight. Large cups of coffee was in all the adult's hands Noah was zooming around as though nothing happened last night, and was talking 900 miles a minute about Lucia's flight and the gifts he got yesterday as well as New years.

Lucia gave Noah a hug goodbye, as well as Olivia and Raphael before walking into the airport.

The drive back to the house seemed to take forever Noah fell asleep, and said he didn't feel good. Olivia and Rapahel put the boy to bed, and took a nap too, not waking up until mid-afternoon. The 3 of them went out to Malibu pier, Noah seemed just as excited to go as anywhere else, and it felt nice to be out and about everyone feeling better after naps. They ate and drove down the coast stopping at Vince beach and taking in the sites exciting Noah to see all people around. The sun was setting and another perfect Sunset lit up the sky before they went back to the house. Olivia smiled at the opened presents, reminding her how lucky she was and felt like she had it all.

Noah wanted to play on the deck, and Olivia agreed they all went outside feeling the ocean air cool their skin. When it got cold, they came in for hot chocolate. Despite the nap, it was edging on Noah's bedtime, and he was ready to sleep. Olivia and Raphael read him a book before bed and closed the door.

They went to their own bedroom, both checking up on work emailing and setting reminders for meetings and other things. About 1.5 later Olivia closed her laptop.

"You almost done?" Olivia asked.

"Been done, just looking at some news." Raphael replied.

"I know something else you could look at." Olivia whispered.

Raphael laughed and turned to her.

"It's hard to keep my eyes off of you," Raphael admitted.

Olivia blushed and allowed the man to kiss her lips.

"Sorry, we haven't done more than this." Raphael claimed.

"Don't worry we've been tired, and I couldn't do it with your mom in the room next to us." Olivia claimed.

Raphael once again laughed.

"Well tonight, let me make it up to you," Raphael stated, as he already began touching her lightly, kissing her, putting his hands under clothes.

The two of them worked slowly, undressing each other, not in any rush. Olivia is happily allowing him to tease her, as she knew she was doing the same to him. They were softly giggling when they found a sensitive spot. He loved it when they were together, intimately touching without sex. It only made it better in the end.

Finally when they were both naked, and the two touched each other Rapahel entering Olivia Raphael couldn't help but moan out, missing this, and Olivia smiled, happy that they could feel this way about each other. After a few more thrusts, she was moaning out as well. Raphael finished first and then Olivia shortly after.

They laid there, panting not saying anything to each other. Raphael turned over, pulled her over to him. She pressed her sticky body against his for a while before Raphael finally got up to shower, then Olivia quickly followed.


	32. Finishing up

Olivia and Raphael had been grateful that Noah was excited to go, Disney, even though it's an hour and a half drive. Noah seemed to think of long-distance car rides an adventure, growing up in the city usually meant subway stations or walking. Noah was excited when he saw a familiar billboard, indicating they were close to Disney.

Olivia and Raphael had found a parking spot, they walked to the ticket counter and went through to Disney California Aventure. They walked through, deciding to turn right and go to Soarin, waiting in line for a long time, but Noah very excited by the ride Olivia was happy they waited for the experience. They then went through the Wilderness Trail, which let out the energy of being stuck in the car for so long.

A few of the rides Noah was too little for, even though Noah was upset by this, as soon as Olivia would point out another trip he could get on he excitingly went to wait in line. Pixar Pier had games that Noah insisted on playing despite the steep price. They waited in line to get on the Farris Wheel and could oversee the whole park. Noah was thrilled to look out and around the park. They went back towards the front of the park to Cars Land. Everyone was impressed at how immersive it was. Noah loved Cars and wanted to ride the rides over and over again, which Olivia allowed.

Raphael loved the fact that Noah was so happy here, he had never been to Disney, but now he could see how magical it indeed was. He had to admit that the rides intrigued him as well, and he was amused by how detailed everything was. The food was terrific. He and Noah had been continuously snacking with Olivia picking up only a treat or two along the way. Olivia was shocked that the two were even hungry for dinner. They ate at Pacific Warf Cafe. The sun was setting, and Noah wanted to do a few more things looking at the shops and taking pictures with various characters before leaving the park.

Noah was asleep as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot. Olivia smiled. They had no other significant plans for the rest of the trip. They only had 2 full days left. The last day they knew would be filled with packing and beach-going. Tomorrow wasn't planned, and Olivia liked that they would have one more adventure before heading home.

Olivia and Raphael had gone over their time and couldn't believe how fast it all flew by. The days seem to scramble together in their brain, not that it was a bad thing, but they had been able to do so much in so little time. Olivia thought that she might need a vacation from the vacation. Although they had paced things and tried their best to relax, there was always something happening. Olivia would be happy with whatever Raphael wanted to do tomorrow.

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow Rafa?" Olivia asked.

"Is staying in bed all day an option, I'm exhausted," Raphael admitted.

"Me too, but Noah has yet to realize that rest and relaxation is the key to a good vacation." Olivia laughed.

"that's true," Raphael admitted.

"I know of a spa that has a kids room, in Malibu, maybe he would enjoy it," Raphael stated.

Olivia scowled for a second, not sure what a child's spa would include.

Raphael knew what she was thinking.

"You look at it when we get back to the house, and then see what you think," Raphael claimed.

Olivia shook her head.

It took them over 2 hours to get back to the home, and Olivia couldn't help but imagining, retiring to the beach. Not here, she couldn't stand the cold water. She loved this place, though, and would be a place she hoped would be a regular vacation spot. She sighed as she looked around. They had claimed the home as their own, but in just a few days, one of Raphael's old college friends would be claiming it for their own for New Years.

Noah wasn't wide awake, but Olivia knew he would be awake for a while. She had woken him up knowing that if she let him sleep, he would have them at 5 am, and that wasn't happening. Olivia flipped the tv on the news was on, something she hadn't even bothered to check into while they were there. The only news she had caught was dealing with work. She knew they could live without her, but she was in almost constant contact with Fin, checking in multiple times a day. She had forgotten a few times about the time change and was confused when she got no response when she sent a text at 11 pm, only later realizing it was 2 am back home.

Raphael had made Noah some hot chocolate and brought a bottle of wine for himself and Olivia. After the news went off, Olivia flipped through, trying to find something for Noah that she could handle. Noah asked her stop, it was some type of music show she had never seen Noah watch in his life, and she was confused. It was a music video block, and he was singing along to a song that Olivia had heard before on the radio.

"You watch this, Noah?" Olivia asked.

"Sometimes Lucy lets me watch it if your home late," Noah claimed.

Olivia shook her head and left the music on.

Noah was singing along when it was something he knew, and she was surprised that he knew almost all the songs in the 30-minute program.

Noah was getting tired, and Oliva walked him up to the bed. Raphael was eyeballing the food, which needed to be eaten or thrown away before they left. He had also started piling things up to pack. Olivia was going to read Noah a story, but he began asking a lot of questions.

"Do we live here now?" Noah asked.

"No, sweetheart, were heading home soon, this is just a vacation house," Olivia explained.

"Will we come back here?" Noah asked.

"If you want," Olivia stated.

"I like it here," Noah claimed.

"Enough to live here?" Olivia asked.

Noah thought about it for a long while.

"No, mommy I don't think so, I wouldn't get to see Dalton, or Lucy or Uncle Sonny or Aunt Amanda or Uncle Fin or Samantha, or Miss Logan or…."

Olivia cut him off.

"I get it, Noah, this is a place we can come visit, your dad has 4 weeks a year we can come okay. We don't have to come that often but if you want and I can find the time off, we can come here." Olivia explained.

"Can we come in the summer and bring Dalton?" Noah asked excitingly.

"Maybe, but it is more likely we could invite Lucy," Olivia explained.

Noah nodded in understanding and laid there yawning.

Olivia kissed his forehead and closed the door going downstairs to find Raphael.

"Noah asked me if this was our new home," Olivia explained.

Raphael laughed.

"Does he want it to be?" Raphael asked.

"He'd miss his friends," Olivia claimed.

Raphael nodded his head.

"So, have you ever wanted to switch coasts?" Raphael asked.

"It's definitely different. I love to visit, but I've lived in Manhattan my whole life. I don't think I want to think about anywhere else." Olivia claimed.

Olivia thought about it for a few moments, Raphael was from the Bronx went to Harvard but came home so she doubted somewhere else was on his mind, but she wasn't entirely sure.

"Have you thought about living somewhere else?" Olivia asked.

"I've thought about it, but what other cities can I do all my favorite things in?" Raphael asked.

"There is no other place like it on Earth," Olivia claimed.

"Maybe London, it has a good theater district, and I like scones and clotted cream," Raphael stated.

Olivia smiled.

"Thank you for all of this," Olivia stated.

"For what Liv, I just invited you with me, it'd be pretty lonely without you and Noah," Raphael stated.

"Yeah, but this isn't something I could ever be able to do. You know that you're giving us so many more opportunities, and to be honest, it makes me feel a little less." Olivia admitted.

"Less? Come on Olivia, this was a drunken foolish buy, with a group of friends, I lived in a studio apartment in the Bronx for years paying this off, just because I didn't want to cave and give my portion up. You have found a way to have a wonderful downtown Manhattan apartment for you and your son. Even before me, you made sure Noah had what he needed and what he wanted. You are never less Olivia Benson," Raphael said as he stood next to her kissing her lips.

Olivia sighed.

Raphael pulled her on to the couch. They didn't say anything to each other, silently putting their hands through each other's hairs, rubbing each other's backs and stomachs just touching each other being there for one another, and it was more than enough.

"You know I'm going to miss having all this time together." Raphael finally said.

"Me too," Olivia claimed.

Olivia sighed as she leaned on Raphael knowing their time left in the getaway house as short. She had drifted to sleep in Raphael's arms as they sit on the couch of their vacation home.

The next morning Olivia woke up to a sore back, and Raphael wasn't much better Noah was curled up beside his mom he had come down earlier but fell back asleep. She got up and made breakfast as Raphael turned on the tv and talked to Noah for a while. The three of them quickly ate before heading to the beach.

Noah stuck his toes in the saltwater for and chased the waves. A big one came at him splashing him up to his stomach, and he let out a squeal. Olivia wrapped the towel around him as they went back inside to warm up. Olivia slowly packed some things while Raphael made hot chocolate. After a few hours when the sun had been high in the sky they went back out Noah made a sandcastle all on his own this time. It wasn't as big as the one they had all made a few days ago, but it was a decent size, and Noah was proud of his creation. The day seemed to go by fast, and soon enough, dinner was calling their name. Raphael had told Olivia and Noah he has a surprise for them, and he drove them down the coast to the pier for a seafood dinner. They watched the sunset, once again a perfect view.

They got back to the beach house, and Olivia told Noah to pack all his stuff except his pajamas and clothes for the next day and his toothbrush. He did as he was told, pushing dirty clothes into his bag and squishing his new toys in as well. They were leaving mid-morning, and Olivia knew that it would be chaos. By 9 pm, Noah was asleep. Olivia and Raphael kept checking to make sure they had everything, notably Noah's Christmas presents. They both agreed everything from the downstairs had been packed and ready to go.

Olivia and Rapahel sat on the deck, listening to waves the rest of the night until Raphael indicated he was going inside.

"I'll be up in a little bit," Olivia claimed.

Raphael kissed her goodnight and went to bed.

Olivia sat out, listening to the Ocean's constant crashing along the shore. This was the most alone time she had in 2 weeks. She was thinking about how quickly it all seemed to go, and she was sad she was leaving this place but ready to go home. 2 weeks seemed like such a long time to be away. She wondered about all the little things that have been happening she hadn't heard about yet. She wondered if Sonny and Amanda spent Christmas together. She wondered if James went home with Lucy for Christmas. She wondered if Christmas would ever be this good again because this was going to be a hard one to top.

She sighed as she looked into her coffee mug that was filled once with hot chocolate. She wondered how many calories in hot chocolate she had this week alone. She wished in a way they could stay in this tiny bubble just the 3 of them forever, but she knew that there was too much going on that she would miss out on. She started off on the beach. She was ready to go home.

Olivia walked up the steps knowing the layout by heart. She didn't bother turning on the light and laid on "her side" of the bed, slowly pushing up against Raphael.

"Your freezing," he mumbled.

"Sorry," Olivia claimed.

He rubbed her arms and pulled her into him, trying to warm her up.

She smiled at his behavior, she wasn't sure what she did to deserve him, and she wasn't sure if she would ever get used to his love for her, but he was enough. This was enough. She closed her eyes and imagined the next time they would be here, maybe this summer, in the sweltering sun, with all the tourists. Perhaps sometime in the fall, she wasn't sure. For the first time in a long time, Olivia was looking further out into the future, and it included Raphael Barba, no matter what.

The End!

AN: I will have an Epilogue, so there is still 1 more chapter to this story. I really hate to say this, but I have no more ideas for this to go anywhere. I do have a sequel in mind that takes place in the future where Olivia finally retires and will be more family orientated. I really hoped you enjoyed this. I have a few other projects I am working on. I still have my Olivia one-shots going. I am currently working on an Olivia/Brian Fic as well as an Olivia Elliot Fic. Also, thinking of some Stargate one-shots, I have already posted one. Thanks once again for all the beautiful reviews comments and for following me, in general, it means a lot even just looking at the reader stats to see how popular this is. Until Next time.


	33. The End

"Christmas felt like moments ago, but four months had passed, spring was upon them all the flowers coming into to bloom. Easter was fast approaching. Olivia looked around the empty apartment that was no longer hers, a new person moving in the next day. She hadn't lived there in 2 months, but it felt odd leaving it to another person to inhabit. There were so many memories in the place that she would miss. Raphael had helped her pack the very last of her things, mainly decor she had gone without and some dinnerware. She was excited to live with him. She was a little nervous, too; if she was honest with herself, she felt the apartment was a safety net just in case. The "just in case." never happened, and even though she knew this could all blow up in her face tomorrow, she wasn't worried.

"Liv, you ready?" Raphael asked.

Olivia looked over at him with a box in hand.

"Yeah, of course." She stated.

She closed the door to her apartment one last time.

They made it back to Raphael's apartment, Lucy, waiting at home with Noah.

"That's everything," Olivia declared as she and Raphael set down two boxes on his table.

Somehow the place hadn't become cluttered a lot of things for both parties donated.

Lucy smiled.

The apartment looked cozier than the first time Lucy remembered walking in the place. Raphael and Olivia had gotten a new couch that suited Noah more and allowed her to spend the night on a rare occasion. Usually, Raphael was home, but there were a few times he had an overnight thing to do with the college.

Raphael enjoyed his second semester of teaching. Knowing what he knew now made him become more relaxed. The subject matter seemed more comfortable. The teaching came more naturally, and he was more inclined to do outside activities. When they asked if he would be returning in the fall, he had agreed. Olivia was pleased to know his new job was exciting to him.

Olivia continued working case after case, she was exhausted but felt fulfilled. With Raphael in her life, she reminded herself more and more that she needed to be home to spend time with him and Noah. Noah was involved with so many things now. He was in dance three times a week, the school had a weekend camp for arts, and he was there every Saturday learning new dances, short plays, and songs. He was involved in creative writing. He had Dalton over about every other weekend.

Olivia and Raphael had been discussing the idea of marriage and what it would detail for the two of them. They both agreed it would be nice. Olivia insisted she kept her name. Raphael had no qualms about it. Someday she dreamt of the traditional big wedding at St Patrick's cathedral, which she knew was ridiculous. Other times she thought about a secret quick courthouse wedding with just Lucia as a witness. Other times she thought about running off to Vegas but laughed at the idea.

Raphael hadn't even asked her, but they had been talking about it. She knew it was the next logical step, and she was looking forward to it. She felt too old to be engaged, but with her, everything seemed to take its time. She was happy she would have the chance, a chance she had written off a while ago.

Raphael walked through the door. It was the last day before Spring break for NYU, and Olivia had taken a few days off to spend some much needed time with Raphael. They never seem to have enough time together, and Olivia's sure, even if they spent every single moment together, they would still want more.

"I'm so lucky to have you for four glorious days. You realize it's only two months and three days until we go back to Malibu?" Raphael asked.

Olivia laughed.

"yeah, but I thought I told you we needed an East Coast beach trip before we go again." Olivia laughed.

"That's why I booked a long weekend in Miami," Raphael stated.

"You what?" Olivia asked.

"Well, our flight leaves tomorrow, and we will be back Monday night, then we have all day Tuesday," Rapahel claimed.

"Your serious," Olivia claimed.

"Of course, unless you just want to stay here," Raphael stated as he kissed her lips.

"And Noah?" Olivia asked.

"Up to you," Raphael said carefully.

"mmm, when was the last time we had a weekend to ourselves?" Olivia asked.

"When Lucy took him at the end of January" Raphael mentioned.

"Have you already discussed this with Lucy?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, sort of," Raphael admitted, not sure if he was in trouble or not.

"Well, maybe it should just be you and me." Olivia kissed his lips.

"Sounds like a plan," Raphael said and kissed her again.

"I have to pack," Olivia claimed and walked to the bedroom, Raphael following behind.

Olivia and Raphael were hugging Noah goodbye, and claiming they would be back Monday. Noah didn't seem to care his parents were going to the beach without him besides he and Dalton had better things to do, Lucy promised to take them to the trampoline park and bake double chocolate chunk cookies.

Olivia was surprised by the first-class tickets on their way to Miami.

"You didn't need to do this," Olivia claimed.

"I did, and I will, I love you, Liv," Raphael stated.

The plane touched down, and with only a short trip, they opted to take only their carry-on. They quickly got a taxi to the hotel overlooking the beach. The weather was way warmer than in New York this time of year, and Olivia was excited to lay on the sunny beach, put her body in the warm ocean, and, most importantly, stare at Raphael in his swim trunks all day long.

Olivia only waited to hear the door click shut when she began unlayering and pulling up a bikini. The high waisted bottoms covered the scars on her stomach, and the full cup top hid the scars on her chest. The only thing anyone could see was the inner thigh scars, but they had lightened up a lot even from when Olivia and Raphael started seeing each other, slowly healing after all these years.

She put on a cover-up and was ready to walk out the door before Raphael had unbuttoned his shirt.

"Well, someone is excited," Raphael claimed.

Olivia laughed.

"Let me help," Olivia stated.

She undressed the man, slowly feeling his body like it was the first time she ever touched him, and Raphael wasn't sure how she made him feel this way. Her touch wasn't new, but the way he felt never changed. The honeymoon period was over, he didn't jump in delight at every tease, but it still sent jolts through his body, he always wanted her touch. When she wrapped her hands around his hardness and decided playing with him took priority of the sun and sand, he couldn't help think he didn't deserve her.

She finished him, quickly finding his shorts and pulling them on to his legs.

"You sure you don't want me to reciprocate?" Raphael asked.

"Later." She started slipping on sandals and walking out of the room with no other words.

They got down to the beach, and Olivia couldn't help but eye all the beautiful women and men on the beach. She wasn't as self-conscience as she used to be, but she couldn't help thinking that Raphael was eyeing a few of the woman as well as the men, but she couldn't say anything because she had been smiling at a younger man that keeps glancing over at her and she can't help but feel flattered at the stares.

"He likes you," Raphael said, suddenly making Olivia jump.

He laughed.

"It's okay to look, you know," Raphael claimed.

"Sorry," Olivia stated.

"Don't be; he's cute, and totally into you who wouldn't be?" Raphael asked.

"I could be his mother." Olivia sighed.

"But your not and trust me that look says I want to fuck, not hi mom." Raphael laughed.

"Thanks for that, picture," Olivia claimed.

Raphael laughed again as they lay in the borrowed beach chairs.

'You ready to get in the water?" Raphael asked. Olivia smiled and shook her head.

The water was warm, and she got in chest-deep, allowing the waves to slowly pull her in and out but making sure she could always touch bottom, not wanting to drift out to sea. Raphael did the same and felt nice to be with her in the warm ocean, they were swimming and touching and hugging playing in the water it felt nice to be able to spend this time together.

"You know, sometimes you make me feel like I'm 15 again," Olivia claimed.

"I don't think I ever felt 15 even when I was 15," Raphael commented.

She knew the feeling well but didn't dwell.

"I love you, Raphael Barba," Olivia claimed, putting her hand on his shoulder and kissing him.

"I love you, Olivia Benson," Raphael replied, holding her in his arms for a long time.

When they finally got out of the water and into the hot sun, they were getting hungry. They waited until they dried off Olivia pulling a thin dress over her swimsuit and Raphael pulling on a shirt, and they went to burger joint along the beach.

"So you said I made you feel 15 again, tell me what was 15 like for you?" Raphael asked.

"Well, I guess that was my first serious boyfriend, Tom. I was a Sophomore and High School. It was the first year my mom let me have anytime away from home. It was the first time I felt free." Olivia claimed.

"I make you feel free, even though we're attached at the hip?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, with you, Rafa, I feel like I can do anything," Olivia admitted.

Raphael smiled at her and grabbed her hand.

"I feel the same way, Liv."

Olivia and Raphael made it up to there hotel room a little after nine, and they were exhausted. Olivia quickly showered and changed into pajamas, and although it was only the beginning of April, the humidity was high, and she changed into a thin nightgown. Raphael had quickly showered as well as Olivia already halfway asleep before he crawled into bed.

Olivia turned over and wrapped her body around him, breathing in his scent.

"Liv?" Raphael questioned.

"Hmmm?" Olivia asked.

"Marry me?" Raphael stated.

"I already told you I would," Olivia stated sleepily.

"No," He said, turning over, a ring in his hand. Will you marry me, Olivia?"

She looked at the silver-colored ring with three diamonds on the smaller side so it would protrude too far from her finger.

"Oh, Rafa, yes, of course," Olivia stated.

She kissed his lips, and he slipped the ring on her finger.

The ring was a perfect fit, and now she knew why newly engaged women stared at it. It felt heavy on her hand but not in a bad way. It was a constant reminder that she was indeed taken. She loved the ring, the thought he had put into it. She loved the fact he waited until they were alone and she was half out of it to give it to her, it felt like such a Barba move.

"I love you, Raphael." Olivia sighed and turned to move around, sleeping peacefully.

The next morning Olivia kept staring down at her hand. She was in love all over again, and it felt different. She told him they never had to marry if he didn't want to, she was perfectly okay with just living together, and she would have been, but now, she couldn't imagine anything else, and although they had only been together for ten months she felt like he could have asked her nine months ago, and she would have said yes. In a way, she knew all it would be was a piece of paper. They had already proved to each other, and everyone else they loved each other, but it was nice it would be on the public record.

Olivia was looking between the beach outside, and her engagement ring Raphael was still asleep. She ordered room service and tied a robe around her before slowly trying to wake Raphael up.

Breakfast was served, and the two ate out on the balcony listening to roar of the waves and the mix of people's conversations from the beach. Olivia missed Noah but was glad to have these days as a newly engaged woman with Raphael Barba.

"Such a shame, we're not going down to the beach today," Olivia commented.

Raphael frowned.

"What are you talking about, Liv?" Raphael asked.

"Well, we haven't celebrated our engagement, and it might take me all day, Olivia stated, getting up tracing her fingertips down his arm. His eyes turned wide, understanding her meaning, and quickly followed her back to the bedroom.

Olivia wasn't entirely faithful to her word. After mid-afternoon, they both were to tired to proceed and took a nap, waking up in the early evening and heading down to catch the last few hours of sun. Raphael walked her along the coast to a restaurant he knew well and pointing out all the authentic Cuban dishes ordering enough food for 5-6 people so that Olivia could try everything he loved. Olivia laughed when there was no room left on the table after all the plates came out. Raphael was feeding her, and Olivia laughed as he told her the stories of visiting family in Miami on the holidays.

Sunday came much sooner than they were expecting, but the two went down the beach Olivia already having a golden tan with the short amount of time they had been out there, made her glow even more, and Raphael couldn't help but steal glances at her body as it sat in the sun. They would have a conversation from time to time but, for the most part, stayed silent listening to the waves overhearing other people's conversations and thinking about the future and what lies ahead.

When the two touched down in New York, Lucy and Noah were there to greet them. Lucy took notice of the ring right away and jumped up and down in excitement, pulling Olivia's hand to her face so she could stare at the glittering stones.

"It's beautiful, Liv!" Lucy claimed.

"I know!" Was all Olivia could say.

"You gave mommy the ring," Noah stated.

"I did mijo, your mommy loves it," Raphael stated.

"I helped pick it out!" Noah said proudly.

Olivia looked back at Raphael for confirmation, and Raphael nodded his head.

"Well, it's wonderful, Noah," Olivia stated.

Olivia pulled her little boy close and walked out of the parking lot with Lucy, who took them home.

"Congratulations!" Lucy stated before leaving the family at their apartment building.

They looked up at the building and smiled.

"it's good to be home," Olivia stated.

"That it is," Raphael commented.

Olivia went int to the precinct on Wednesday Amanda caught a glint of light in her eye and saw the ring in all its glory. Amanda wasn't one to be overly girly, but she squealed in delight!

"He finally asked you!" Amanda screamed.

All the men looked confused until Olivia held up her hand, said, "Yes!"

Sonny and Fin quickly congratulated her and insisted they go out, Raphael included for drinks sometime later in the week.

Olivia sat down to her desk as her office telephone rang. She picked up to hear they had a new victim and sighed. She jotted down the information and took it out for Amanda and Fin to go out on. Another call came in and then another, and soon she was out in the field as well—the weight on her finger reminding her what was waiting at home.

The End.

A/N: Once again, thanks so much for sticking this out. I hope you enjoy it. If anyone wants to submit any plot ideas for the sequel, I have a few in mind, but I'm not sure where it will go. I hope to have it up in the next month or two, Follow me or be on the lookout for – Moving Around it will likely not be updated as often as this I got the first chapter sketched out.


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